What do these things have in common? Me, Vodka, and Olives.
This drunken post should be all the answer you need.
It’s Friday. My children are safe, away, with their daddy. Mother Nature has left the building. And I’m as smooth as George Clooney in a roomful of cocktail waitresses at a Vegas Casino. (That’s for Michael K. He’s not a reader, but he’d appreciate the effort)
It’s 6:30 PM Chicago Time and I’m going to hit publish and make Number 2. Wait a minute.
Let me re-type. I’m leaving it though because it’s funny. At least it is when you drink a giant cup of vodka.
Re-phrase: I’m posting, hitting Publish, and making my second Dirty Martini, minus the dirty, the olives and the glass.
And……
Every excuse in the book…
For why it took me a dismal 47 minutes to run around 3.7 miles.
1. The air temperature was 87 degrees at 3 pm.
2. There was no wind.
3. And no shade.
4. The sun was blazing down like hellfire.
5. I had a rock in my shoe.
6. And a cramp in my leg.
7. And a weird pain in my ankle going down to the bottom of my foot.
8. I have my period.
9. I have my period.
10. I just ran 5 miles yesterday.
11. The direction I ran has more of an uphill slope almost the entire way.
12. I still have a scorching sunburn on my chest from the weekend. (Sport bra was rubbing and causing blisters)
13. My earphones kept falling out.
14. Or pulling too tight at the neck. (Tucked in my shirt collar and thru the sleeve to my arm band)
15. Wispy hairs kept sticking to my face.
16. Sweat was dripping in my eyes.
I could probably keep going but it won’t change the fact that today’s run was made on sheer willpower alone. Seriously.
I had zero desire and zero strength to get around. At the one mile to-go mark (going backwards from the norm), I wanted to stop. And I don’t mean just stop running. I wanted to completely stop and lay down on the track. I was actually arguing with myself about NOT stopping. Telling myself, I could not just stop right there and I really couldn’t sit down much less LAY down on the trail. Besides the car was still a mile away, and how did I think I was going to get there?? I’m like, just go. Just keep going. Breathe in, count steps, count breaths, whatever…here comes a tree, here comes another tree, ¾, ½, ¼, here’s that garbage can, here’s that pink kid croc shoe that somebody must have lost yesterday, I can see the car, keep going, don’t throw up, here’s the port-a-potty, the parking lot, the car, you made it!
And now I am home again. Almost forgetting…that’s how it gets you! Exercise is only hard at the time. Otherwise it feels pretty good.
And since I’m feeling successful and numb, here’s those pics I mentioned earlier. See how I buried them way in here! You gotta be a fan to get the good stuff! Thanks Jay for taking such a flattering picture! And thanks Amanda for that concerned face while helping me over, making it look like I weigh 300 pounds! I love you guys! Ann Or Ex E Uh! Next year! (I posted them full-size for that extra added chuckle)
I'm much more flexible, and not THAT heavy, but I still couldn't have made it over myself. Next year. Little jog, little skip, up and over! Take that, horrible waterproof disposable low speed film camera (with unfair sharpness and clarity).
In my defense, my butt is not really THAT huge. It LOOKS huge, that is true. But it's the angle. The shorts. The other shorts. I am MUCH better looking in real life. And thinner. I swear!
Back to boring old me.
Dang Nabbit…I wish it would rain here already so I have an excuse for not leaving the house and running again…It’s getting to be 2 pm Chicago time and the storms I was promised this morning have yet to show up. Good Lord I might have to actually get up and go out!
Bugger, I’m tired and sore. I pushed it on through yesterday and ran five whole miles. Not a lot to some, I know, but I’m a novice here. Amateur athlete, with loose use of the term “athlete”. I have the Scenic 5 in September and this was my first run at that distance. (I’ve run farther before but that was way before, and not relevant to this time period in my life). It took a little over an hour. I guess that’s not too bad. I will be happy for the race if I complete it under one hour. That’s my goal. I felt really good running too. I thought I was going at a good pace, but when I got to the end of the trail I run, it’s only 3.6 miles, and I realized I would have to go past the car and keep running as if to do it twice, I got all psyched out and quivery. Then I felt heavy and hot and thought I should just stop. I don’t HAVE to run five miles this very minute. So, I kept going, sloppily, but I logged the miles. Then I was sore all night. Ate a very healthy dinner. Nothing extra. (But still didn’t lose any weight! In fact I gained a pound from last week! Tumor?? Too soon to tell.)
And if you come back later, I’ll share my last and final post about the Warrior Dash. My sister’s mud camera pictures came out pretty good and there are a couple of horrendous pictures of my giant ass going over the wall that I will be willing to post here strictly for the pure hilarity they provide. I wish I was exaggerating even a little. If you can’t laugh at yourself you can always laugh at me!
Anyway, I guess since the weather isn’t cooperating, I better get out there. I’m only doing the 3.6 today so it shouldn’t be too bad.
I have a music list to share also!! It has been a really long time since I posted one. I go in waves with stuff like that. I am currently out-of-love with my I-Pod and music in general. But I needed something to get my ass around that track. This is what I used. If you run at my pace (slow) it will play the exact amount of time you will need for a five mile run! I shuffle it and keep running….Let’s call it the, “5-Mile Shuffle“ Music List!
Last Thursday Exercise, P.M. Version. Update Post!
We went back! We had to. After running, biking, and scootering the trail, we went and did some “activities”. Some good, some bad, some badder…yikes! Don’t despair. We didn’t take any pictures.
Catch up here if you want, or just keep reading.
After we got home from the first exercise segment, we changed and went bowling! Kids Bowl Free! All summer courtesy of the bowling alley they had leagues at. So there’s the good, until…the snacks! Ugh! Fried appetizers and spinach dip with fried chips and soda! We ate it all. We bowled our games. We drove home feeling yucky and like we wasted a workout. The bad! Back to the trail!
It had rained/stormed while we were on our way to bowling, but now it was humid, sticky and buggy. We managed approximately, generously, to get about a mile of walking in until we headed back to the car and on to the badder!
Oh yeah. Baskin Robbins baby! We have to pass it to get home. So we obliterated the day with some scoops for our poops. And it was good!
But before I leave you with that sad tale of woe, check it out: Going back to the Forest Preserve got me Lucky Number 13 on the Challenger Posts!
Blue and Beautiful and Below:
Wacky Water Weekend With… / Friday Fun
So, after Mason cut all his grasses on Friday, we went to do my “Friday Fun Family Summer Project”.
Which as you may recall, I teased you with a few days ago…Benches of Love….???
Tinley Park, Illinois, just a few towns over from my own, has a lovely downtown area with shops and restaurants and a train station, businesses, etc., etc. They also have decorated benches. You know, the kind you sit on. I think they are kind of cool and I thought that we could go and park the car at one end of the main street, have a little snack and then walk up and down and take pictures of all the different designs. We could get ice cream?!? And it’s free! (The walking and picture-taking, not the ice cream) After a bit of wha..wha..wha…we went.
My other idea was to post the pictures one day at a time…kind of like…Bench of the Day, while my kids are gone. Again. On yet another vacation with their daddy. This time Monticello, IN. Indiana Beach. They go every year. And while they are gone….
See??…something to look at! I have pics with and without children. We will mix it up so you’ll never know which is coming!! Exciting AND unpredictable!!
Here’s the first one, kind of relevant to summer and the movies, “Star Trek, USS Enterprise”:
Wacky Water Weekend With… / Saturday Swim
The Birthday Pool Party!
What a nice day! Not too hot, not too sunny…although I got pretty scorched along with my brother-in-law, that semi-cloud cover can be deceiving…
They belong to a Park District Pool where they live and Elexa’s B-day Party was there! Friends, family, food, fun…the usual.
This place had many pool areas: a party room, snack bar, diving boards, a drop chute, water slides (2) open/semi-closed, slow/fast, kids or adults. Nothing crazy. Some Lily Pad jump things, Dumping Buckets of Water, and Sprays. The kids loved it.
(I did the slides, the drop chute and the high dive, making me the coolest mom who participated and didn’t just sit on the sidelines…their words, not mine.)
One more time:
Happy Birthday Elexa!
Happy Birthday Jesse!
Birthday girls (to the left) and an extra to the right
The high dive
The drop chute
Lily pads with slides in the background
Better water slide shot with extra ACTION!
Party food
Party kids
Party Over! See you next year!
Wacky Water Weekend With… / Sunday Snack
Holy Pierogi! Can the weekend really be over already?? Yes, I know it’s Monday, but we have actually been out in the world:
Swimming, Party-ing, Food-ing, Cake-ing, Picture Taking, Food-ing, Driving, More Food-ing, More Driving…we packed it in these last three days. (Our weekend started with Friday…lucky!)
Let’s start from Sunday, and go back…One guess…
Pierogi Fest! What? You don’t know? You are either,
1. Not Polish
or, 2. Not from around here
or, 3. From around here, a Polack, but still not know what this is!
All very likely. That was us three years ago. Now we know. This is the Official Website below:
Pierogi Fest / Whiting, Indiana
Here’s more pictures!
What a bunch of Polish people!
I think this speaks for itself
Birthday Wishes!! Shout Out for Jesse and Elexa! July 24!
This is just a quick HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my two nieces! My only two nieces! Both born on the same day!! How cool is that??
Jesse is 14 and Elexa is 7!
We will see you both tomorrow at the pool!! Party!! Let me see if I have any cool pics!
Love you guys! Aunty L.
OMG! We are having the problems this week!!
Be aware that if you try and fix up the place you live in, AND spend money doing it, you will have to spend even MORE money to fix all the OTHER new things that break while fixing the original broken things.
Electric pole. Downed in the storm/fallen tree limb 5 years ago. Put up a brand new one. Ooops! Old power lines don’t reach anymore! No electricity. Call Com Ed. Yay! New lines!
Phone goes dead. Along with internet. Horrors!! We cannot live without internet! Seriously. What do people do anymore?? Call AT&T. Yay! New lines!
The neighbors must think something weird is going on over here. We’ve had giant service trucks here, coming and going, all week! Crews of manly-men carrying tools and belts and ladders and boxes of mysterious wires and cables and clip things. I personally don’t mind. I’m a sucker for a uniform and a hard hat, so whatever…I’ll go around breaking extra stuff to have utility workers show up here! Kidding. Slightly. But…My house is super-powered now. I got new lines for everything!
Seriously it wasn’t that bad. The service guys were all awesome! They came pretty fast and fixed the probs with no trouble! I have no complaints!
So now I will post the things I wanted to post last night. Missed my desired “hit count” by 2 stinking people! I hate to live and die by internet popularity, but there it is. Thank goodness I’m not an actual celebrity. I might read about myself negatively in a gossip magazine and be depressed! Those people really DO have it rough.
Anyway. We are up and running. (We have plans to go out into the real world for material that I can post during the next week–exciting!–while my kids are gone again on yet another vacation with their daddy. Here’s a hint: Benches of Love. Hmmm??? But we can’t go until Mason cuts all his grasses!! So it’s just me for now). Please enjoy all the useless, dumb things I have to say for the next few hours until my son is done!
Thursday. $3.60 in the bank.
Another day of exercise is complete. That is 4 in a row for us!
We used various methods in order to get around the full Three Dollars and Sixty Cents worth of trail. (Please refer to the previous day for the money explanation on mileage)
I ran. Yay! 3.6 miles. Non-stop! Ooooh…impressive to the kiddies. (I dogged it too, but who cares, I did it.)
Mason rode his bike. He probably logged 4.5 miles or more going around on his own.
Stevie scootered it. She prob got about 4 miles circling back and forth around me the whole time.
I was like a planet with my revolving moons…or was I the revolving moon with my planets jiggling in orbit while my shining stars hovered near by? According to my kids, my stomach looks like a water balloon and my butt crack was trying to eat my pants.
Here’s a picture of a giant globe from Art Chicago at the Mart last year. Seems fitting.
just shy of pretty 