Why is this funny to me??

January 3, 2011 at 6:29 pm (Celebrity, For Amanda, Lifted) (, , , , , )

Since I am not being very original today. This is from D-Listed. One of my very favorite sites. It’s in the sidebar. Michael K is always funny. He makes me laugh even when I don’t want to. So I am re-posting his post, with all his words. (None of it after “enjoy” is mine.) It’s mostly for Amanda because I know you can answer my question!

Enjoy!

Monday, January 3rd 2011

Would You Hit It?

Well, blog of the devil… Here’s Kid Rock marching on the beach in Cabo and looking like if Gollum got out of rehab for his ring obsession and found a new addiction in the bottom of a Pabst keg and in a bottle of Rogaine. Since 2011 should be a non-stop shameless slut orgy before the end-of-the-world storm (aka 2012), I’d cut a hole in the back of my Wranglers and hit it on the airbrushed hood (think of a bald eagle wiping a single tear off his cheek with an American flag paper napkin) of his El Camino in the back parking lot of a NASCAR rally.

And if Gollum humping still isn’t your thing, here’s a few pictures of Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber with Kid Pebble.

  • Posted by: Michael K.
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How are you celebrating Mark Buehrle Day in Illinois? Amanda?? I’m talking to YOU!

July 30, 2009 at 2:22 pm (Celebrity, Day to Day, Pictures) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

I got my ABC News picture right there, above these words. I just finished painting on my Buehrle-56-Total-Body-Art-For-One tattoo kit. I’m currently making myself a Mark Buehrle FastBall (9 shots of vodka lined up on my coffee table in front of the TV) with a chaser (5 more shots that you drink during the actual game). Then I’ll probably finish painting the kids room or throw up and pass out.

I’m just kidding. I’m not going to paint. But I do know what Amanda is doing thanks to her kiss ass phone call to my mother while my mother was still at my house.

Appreciation. Have fun sissy! I’ll need pics for future posts! Love, L.C-Bip

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Every excuse in the book…

July 28, 2009 at 5:57 pm (Day to Day, Exercise, Pictures, Warrior Dash) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

For why it took me a dismal 47 minutes to run around 3.7 miles.

1. The air temperature was 87 degrees at 3 pm.

2. There was no wind.

3. And no shade.

4. The sun was blazing down like hellfire.

5. I had a rock in my shoe.

6. And a cramp in my leg.

7. And a weird pain in my ankle going down to the bottom of my foot.

8. I have my period.

9. I have my period.

10. I just ran 5 miles yesterday.

11. The direction I ran has more of an uphill slope almost the entire way.

12. I still have a scorching sunburn on my chest from the weekend. (Sport bra was rubbing and causing blisters)

13. My earphones kept falling out.

14. Or pulling too tight at the neck. (Tucked in my shirt collar and thru the sleeve to my arm band)

15. Wispy hairs kept sticking to my face.

16. Sweat was dripping in my eyes.

I could probably keep going but it won’t change the fact that today’s run was made on sheer willpower alone. Seriously.

I had zero desire and zero strength to get around. At the one mile to-go mark (going backwards from the norm), I wanted to stop. And I don’t mean just stop running. I wanted to completely stop and lay down on the track. I was actually arguing with myself about NOT stopping. Telling myself, I could not just stop right there and I really couldn’t sit down much less LAY down on the trail. Besides the car was still a mile away, and how did I think I was going to get there?? I’m like, just go. Just keep going. Breathe in, count steps, count breaths, whatever…here comes a tree, here comes another tree, ¾, ½, ¼, here’s that garbage can, here’s that pink kid croc shoe that somebody must have lost yesterday, I can see the car, keep going, don’t throw up, here’s the port-a-potty, the parking lot, the car, you made it!

And now I am home again. Almost forgetting…that’s how it gets you! Exercise is only hard at the time. Otherwise it feels pretty good.

And since I’m feeling successful and numb, here’s those pics I mentioned earlier. See how I buried them way in here! You gotta be a fan to get the good stuff! Thanks Jay for taking such a flattering picture! And thanks Amanda for that concerned face while helping me over, making it look like I weigh 300 pounds! I love you guys! Ann Or Ex E Uh! Next year! (I posted them full-size for that extra added chuckle)

I'm much more flexible, and not THAT heavy, but I still couldn't have made it over myself. Next year. Little jog, little skip, up and over! Take that, horrible waterproof disposable low speed film camera.

I'm much more flexible, and not THAT heavy, but I still couldn't have made it over myself. Next year. Little jog, little skip, up and over! Take that, horrible waterproof disposable low speed film camera (with unfair sharpness and clarity).

In my defense, my butt is not really THAT huge. It LOOKS huge, that is true. But it's the angle. The shorts. The other shorts. I am MUCH better looking in real life. I swear!

In my defense, my butt is not really THAT huge. It LOOKS huge, that is true. But it's the angle. The shorts. The other shorts. I am MUCH better looking in real life. And thinner. I swear!

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July 21, 2009 at 8:30 am (Pictures, Warrior Dash) (, , , , , , , , , )

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One more day of crazy schedule…Video is coming

July 19, 2009 at 10:56 am (Day to Day, Pictures, Random Images, Warrior Dash) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Hang in there with me. I’ll get the video up tonight, but I have family obligations that will take me away from the sweet hum of the computer all day.

Need to go get dressed, get my girl packed–her clothes are in the dryer as we type–pick up a champagne holder-thingy and drive to a party with my sister-in-law. Then go to my sister’s where Stevie will stay for a few more days. Mason and I will get our hair fixed, maybe grab a bite, and hopefully get home before it’s too dark and late!

My body is just a bit achy, and my ankle feels a bit sore, but other than that…not bad. The Warrior Dash was a good thing!

Check back here for video later, and definitely check out the Facebook Page for more comments and possible video and pictures. It looks so fun you know you are going to want to do it next year too!!

I just posted some random pics to keep the site visually interesting. That’s just me. Still from the dash, but not really about the race!

Mason Spectator

Mason Spectator

A couple more years and he can run too!

A couple more years and he can run too!

Baby frog on the field!

Baby frog on the field!

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Happy Birthday Amanda!!

July 17, 2009 at 10:29 am (Day to Day, Flowers, Phone Camera, Pictures, Warrior Dash) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

It is Friday the 17 th! My sister’s official birthday! And I see we are reading this webpage a little more regularly now. Thank you! AND making comments. Thank you again!

So, I never got back here yesterday because normal people stuff takes up more time than I thought, which is probably why I don’t do it on a regular basis. But I payed the bills, bought some groceries, tidied up the house a bit…we even had an overnight guest (the kids friend). Next up is laundry—have to get that dang pile down, posting more exciting things from yesterday when I was out in the world (Dodge Challenger…oooh) and basically waiting for my sissy today to come over!

The plan is for her to come here. We are going to have as nice birthday dinner while we can still eat through our mouths and not the feeding tube they will have to put in along with the full body casts that they put on when you break every bone in your body doing some crazy athletic race-type event because you think it’s cool. Then we’ll leave at 5 in the morning tomorrow and prepare for an all liquid diet for the next month! Kidding, I’m sure. We are highly trained athletes. Used to extreme adventures and bad terrain. WE ARE WARRIORS!!

Here are some true excerpts from the e-mail we got:

Warriors,

Brace yourselves for the wildest 3.75 miles of your life, a battleground full of dangerous and insane obstacles!  Warriors, prepare to battle.

That doesn’t seem to bad, right? Then it’s all blah, blah, details about packet pick-up, parking, etc… And then this:

Danger Warning

Please understand portions of Warrior Dash are truly extreme – your best judgment and respect for every participant is expected and appreciated.

This is no joke:  there really will be fire, swamps, extreme hills, etc.  We urge you to take special caution when entering the forest immediately before Splintering Spools because the hill is extremely steep (too steep to run down) and there’s limestone jutting out of the hill in several areas.

Excuse me, while I go poo in my pants. “Splintering” spools doesn’t sound too bad, you know, splinters in my knees and hands maybe…unless it’s like giant shards of wood sticking out…It’s the “steep hill” and “jutting limestone” that concerns me. I would like to NOT crack my skull open on a piece of extreme rock. Fire, swamps…I guess if I’m wet already I can’t technically catch on fire right??

At any rate, I’m getting a stomach ache thinking about it!

So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER!! We are going to have SO much fun tomorrow!! I’ll make sure Mom gets us a room at the hospital together!!

Here are some flowers from my front wildflower landscape thing I tried to create! Aren’t they pretty? Won’t they be soothing to look at through giant, swollen, teary, puffy, black and blue eyes?? Ha.

For all you other folks who can only imagine…check out the web here for the actual event,

And here for the Face Book Link.

I don’t have it but some of the comments are funny.

Here’s your pictures Amanda! Happy B-day! Love, Me!

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Brother-in-Law. J and the Lily’s. JP and the Petals. Orange Slyder.

July 14, 2009 at 1:03 pm (Day to Day, Flowers, Pictures) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

What do all these names have in common??

They would all make rockin’ band names. One.

They all describe my brother-in-law and his landscaping. Two.

These are pictures from their house, taken a week ago. Money was spent and care was taken, so he is happy to have them out in the world. I’m sorry, but beyond the lily’s, I don’t know what any of these are called. But they sure are pretty.

Enjoy!

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WTF?!?!? My kids are not far enough away from childhood yet.

July 13, 2009 at 10:24 am (Things The Kids Like, Video) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Monday’s are bad enough. Especially when you stay up too late “studying” (4am) I did give it my best shot, but the kids…the kids…!!

That was my last full night with them until they are off again on more summer adventure! They will be going to their friends house this afternoon and returning on Wednesday. Then, Thursday, they have a friend coming to our house. Friday is my sissy’s birthday!! How old? Not as old as me. Bummer. She and the hubby and the kids will be staying here with us because Saturday, at 7:30 AM is…THE WARRIOR DASH!! Finally! I am planning on having fun, not trying to win or be all super-bad, extreme, athlete…but I am getting a nervous stomach-ache already thinking about this. They sent an e-mail telling us to prepare and don’t be fooled–it really is extreme and dangerous and if you are not careful you will get hurt. That helps. And she says we never do anything for HER birthday! Ha. How about a nice hospital stay?? We can share a room! Kidding.

So the week is kind of booked. I still have my final tomorrow–more nerves–and I tried to read more–but it’s hard when you want to do other fun stuff, staying up with the kids, watching tv, playing on the computer, doing laundry, taking posters and stuff off the wall so we can paint, you know, typical Sunday night stuff. The little quitters crashed out at 1 am, but I go all the way. I crawled into bed just as the BF’s alarm was going off at 4:30. He says, “Are you just coming to bed now?!?” I should have just stayed up. AND, I wasn’t even drinking!

Although after seeing, mostly HEARING this mess below  for the WHOLE WEEKEND, I should have. Sometimes the kids computer search abilities are not appreciated. It’s great that they are getting older and more interested and able to do more things with more resources…and sometimes it’s not.

I don’t know where this came from, I don’t know what it is, why it’s out there right now, and how they found it…but please, make it stop.

It’s obviously geared for the small frys, but 11 and 12 year-olds are not immune. Get ready to have this playing in your head for the next 50 days. I’d apologize, but no one feels sorry for me. The lyrics are included, because you know you are going to want to sing along. Enjoy.

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Hey Jesse! This is for you!

July 2, 2009 at 7:55 pm (Day to Day) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

It is Thursday night. July 2. I am finally updating! I have lots of stuff in the hopper. Seriously!

I even have an outdated MJ/Farrah/Billy Mays tribute post. I don’t want to overload an already overloaded internet-web-blog-memory-post-world, but I’m afraid I must. If only to tell the story my sister Amanda doesn’t want anyone to know! Please stay tuned.

I have actually been…busy. For any and all who might actually follow this thing, I had to concentrate on school and some house chores. My kids left for vacation with their grandma, but the BF is off this week too! So we did boyfriend/girlfriend things and family things and exercise things…

WARRIOR DASH! Only 2 weeks away. I have a 15 pound weight loss/fitness regime to get back on track before my kids get home next week.

5.8 pounds already gone, if you care! The secret is:

Workout like mad. Don’t eat crap. Drink water.

Sorry. Sad but true. No gimmicks, no tricks, no pills, no shortcuts. Follow my above plan and you will look and feel better in one week!

The BF is actually out tonight with his buds, catching up with some old friends by means of food and beer, the usual. So here I am. I have all night. I have chapters to read, CPR notes to go over, laundry to wash and dry and fold (blah), and YOU to talk with!

I got pictures and videos and music and maybe a little drink…(very little…in training AND alone). Go get yourself something to drink along with me and keep checking back. Let’s make Thursday the new Friday! At least for this week! Get ready. Get set.

POST!

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