Stevie Pic #5! And Updates Galore!

May 24, 2013 at 10:37 am (34 Day Summer Slim Down, Day to Day, Exercise, Family, Flowers, For Amanda, For Jeff the BF, For Mason, For Stevie, Graduation, Losing the Fat, Picture Posts, Posts In Pictures, Run. Walk. Weights., Running Stuff, School News, Stevie Pics, Summer Break, Wasting Time In General) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

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Posting to stay in the web site game today. Trying to get hits. It’s a total head thing. Posting because Stevie takes good pictures. Posting to use up all the ideas that are rattling around in my head and driving me crazy. While, in between, doing laundry. That damn laundry.

I have actually had 2 days off. This is my third. Third. (!) Why am I not all posted and getting tons of new followers? Why do I have a giant pile of crappy clothes and never worn shoes on my bedroom floor that are supposed to be purged? Why have I not seen my new little nephew in person?? Why is the laundry NOT done yet???

I have been doing things. Things like, helping my kids with this last week of real school. The boy’s last final is today. He is stressing big time too, trying to finish without any D’s. It’s been a tough and lazy year for this kid. His XBox is riding on this last grade. All he needs is a C. Seriously. And the girl has Algebra and her state Constitution to worry about. Math is killing her, but I told her to focus on the Constitution and forget the rest because at this point 8th grade is all about getting out and moving into high school. She needs to pass the Constitution, everything else, realistically, does not matter. No one EVER asks for your 8th grade transcripts. It’s all about the high school now. Fresh start. I may not be the best mom on the planet today, encouraging my kids to do mediocre, but at this point, on this Friday, with nothing left to lose or gain, passing is going to have to be good enough.

On a more “me” note, I exercised. Yes. I said, and typed, ex-er-cise. I did a workout AND ran a 5K. Yes. Ran. (Jogged. Shuffled. Walked a little. And maybe missed about 1/2 mile of the course…for a total of about a 3.9K) Two and a half miles at least. The course was kind of confusing and didn’t have clear markers at every point, but that’s not too bad. It wasn’t an official timed race, mostly fun. I finished in approx 40 minutes. Not a record breaker, but not last! And it was exercise. Outside, with other people as witness. My daughter helped organize a charity/community run for her school and I took the day off to participate. It was actually quite fun and I feel extremely proud and impressed by my daughter and her school and the whole event in general. There was about 60-70 runners and 100’s of spectators. That may not sound like a lot, but it is pretty damn good for Jr. High. My girl came up with the name and the theme and even designed the facebook page to promote it. Of course it helps that her aunt is a professional event planner and fixed all the details, but hey she’s only 14. Today the little village, tomorrow the big city! Check out the site here, if you like, just to get a feel for the kind of thing it was, and maybe next event you can come too! Here is my number bib as proof:

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And holy poo-poo, my legs are killing me! The tops of my thighs seem to have taken the brunt of the exercise fall-out, and they are not allowing me to walk properly, or sit and stand with any kind of grace or fluid motion. I have to push myself up and lower myself down using my arms as brace so I just don’t fall over. So stupid.

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The other thing I have been trying, “trying” being the key word in this sentence, is a new exercise craze you may have heard of called: Hip Hop Abs. More like Hip Hop Flabs for me (Sorry, that’s my one joke I keep repeating. It’s not the most original, but it usually gets a laugh.) and Hip Hop Jiggly Butt. (On another rambling side note, I have to say that when I was running, the most distracting thing was my jiggly butt. I could feel it moving. Yuk. So gross. I need to use this burst of exercise rejuvenation and keep doing it. It’s bad when you can feel all the flab actually moving. Yuk again.) My friend at work is like the new spokesperson for Hip Hop Abs or something, and texts me everyday harassing me about this shit. So I finally did it. I have discovered that I may be too old for the hippity hop, or any form of exercise that requires me to dance like a young person in a club and jerk my body all over, and into weird contortions that I probably couldn’t have done even when I was younger. My hips and shoulders don’t necessarily hip and hop in those directions. I just don’t have the rhythm or moves and ability to dance and exercise at the same time, and I never really did. Butt. I am going to try and continue anyway. If you are following along on the body pain tally, this particular tape set hurts my shoulders and arms. My abs are actually fine with this. They have probably just given up and are like, whatever lady, the layer of fat you kindly blanketed across our middle will protect us. Nice try though! Stupid abs. One day I will have a sort-of six pack and a non-30-year-old-ass. That last sentence is all for you Amanda. One day Vegas will see us again and we will ROCK that pool. We will cut through the water like sharks in the ocean. Although I will have to upgrade to a non-40-year-old-ass. Eeek. Time is a ticking.

I will continue now, to update my exercise status, again. I just re-read that, and I didn’t mean right now, but in the days and weeks to come. I even have a plan. I mean, I always have a plan. I just need to carry through. I even have a goal. Fer reals. Wanna see? I might as well just post it now, since this is already long anyway.

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It’s a pair of jeans. That’s pretty much it. My entire weight loss/get healthy plan around a pair of Hollister Laguna Skinny 9L’s. I can almost squeeze my ass into them. Literally. They go right on up, and over my legs and thighs, but then stop dead at the ass portion of my body. I can almost tuck it in but then my front poochy area tries to make a stand and it’s just all-around ugly. There is no way I could zip them up and I feel bad for anyone near if I did. The pants would suffer, my flesh would suffer, anyone who has eyes and was looking at me would suffer. The jeans seem to be made of very high quality, strong denim and fasteners, but I don’t know, wearing these right now would require a lot of tensile strength that might be asking too much of a simple pair of pants. But that’s the ultimate goal.

The goal was also to have these on by my daughter’s graduation party in, oh, 22 days. I had a slim-down plan, like I did a few years back. The category heading is still over to the right there. 34 Day Summer Slim Down. Obviously I was going to modify that to account for my new timeline, but guess what? 34 days came and went and now I have 22. I aimed for that date so I could impress my whole family, current, new, and old, with my skinniness, because that’s healthy, right? Like my daughter’s teacher just said to me at the race when we were talking about it, “Oh well as long as you are doing it for the right reasons.” HaHaHa. We laughed. No one loses weight to impress themselves. Anyhoo. I am also trying to grow out my bangs. Which is taking way longer than I want. But I was using her party as goal for that too. I figured if I could keep them longer, and survive the bad stage where they poke at my eyes, without cutting them, at least until then, I could probably make it the rest of the way to the long stage again. So far so good on that goal! I use headbands at work. I feel weird about my open face but half my patients can’t see me clearly anyway so who cares. As I always say, I look much better blurry.

Well I should wrap this up. Hours have been spent here. I swapped a few loads of laundry, but I need to fold all that crap and put it away and try to clean up this house a bit. I defiantly told the BF that I would have all the laundry done by the time he got home. I am so stupid sometimes when I am trying to be all smart. I think I hit all the major updates. No, wait…

Thursday was my daughter’s Spring Band Concert. Done. Today is the 8th grade dance. Exciting! We had Mother’s Day. I had to work. There was the annual Crawfish Boil my sister and her hubby have every year. Fun! Here’s a pic:

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I have GOBS of bird pictures and wildlife in the backyard. The bird feeders are back. The fat squirrels are eating everything and making me mad. The hummingbirds are back too. I saw them. I have street money that I am still collecting. My niece graduated high school!! Congrats Jesse!! I have new things involving trucks with crazy stuff on them. And tires. Lots of tires. I don’t even know why. I probably have more random things that I can’t even think about because now I am trying to hurry and finish so I can do a fast clean sweep and get back to the computer. My son just texted. Geometry final is over. He’s one class away now from sophomore year. I need one last picture though to end this mish mash. And there are always more pictures. In my phone and on my desktop. Hmmm. How about superheroes? My kids are a daily reminder that you are never to old to build a blanket fort in your room to keep out the bad guys:

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Or too old to goof around in Target. Hurry up mom, and take the picture!! Come on now…

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I. Am. IronMan.

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You won’t like me when I’m angry.

Saving the world one word at a time. “Mommmmmmm.”

“Come on already.” Later.

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Denial Ain’t Just a River in Egypt

January 10, 2012 at 1:09 pm (Body and Brains!, Day to Day, Exercise, Losing the Fat, Running Stuff, Weather) (, , , , , , , , , )

I will let you decide which noble and majestic, wild beast I will be currently comparing myself to. I’ll give you a hint: It’s not Marty. (That was a layered hint. See, you have to know first of all, that that is a pic of an elephant and a zebra. Then you need to know about the very funny, but child-oriented, movie called Madagascar–the first one–which means you either: have to have kids, have no kids but love cartoon movies, or either have kids or not have kids but LOVE Chris Rock. “Oh I could hang here. I could hang here!” That’s my favorite quote and I have been perfecting my perfect Chris Rock impersonation. It is magnificent!) Much like that elephant above.

I do have a fantastic memory. And I am strong and powerful. And coincidentally, I kind of have a big nose. Luckily, my teeth are good and no tusks are growing out of my head just yet. Unfortunately…I am in current possession of a larger-than-life body to lumber around in. I can deny it no more.

The catalyst for this sudden realization, was clothes shopping at the mall over the weekend, as it most always usually is. It was not, as previously reported here, my mother’s gentle and loving, reality wake-up call, that she gave me a few weeks ago. You can read the whole post here if you want, but if you don’t like to jump around, I can sum it up by telling you she pretty much told me I was a big fat, fatty-bo-batty, in plain, clear English and said I should do something about that. Even though that doesn’t sound funny, it was actually VERY funny. In fact, it still is pretty funny. It makes me laugh just typing it. Only a mom can tell you that you are a cow and it only stings for a second, then it turns into hilarious laughter and a trip to the Starbuck’s to add another winter layer to the protective hide. But back to the mall.

A while back I went to buy some “interview” clothes. And I had the chance to wear them to a job fair and to Thanksgiving dinner. Then my daughter helped me wash the clothes and shrunk my perfectly fitted blouse into a shirt that I could barely get over my arms and shoulders, much less button again. When I say, perfectly fitted, I mean that it was already snug. EXCUSE ALERT!! I have very broad shoulders and a large ribcage with extra boobage, that none of my sisters or mom have. So that’s what I tell myself when I can’t find a nice button up blouse to fit me properly. No matter, that when I look at past pictures, I don’t seem extra large (in women’s clothes–yes, shameful secret, I have to shop in the misses or the women’s section. The juniors are mostly beyond my range and style threshold now. Also, I like my pants unripped and not looking like they got dragged through a dirt pile before I wear them.) Anyway, the point here, is that I was looking for something to wear in case I need to go on an interview. I kind of decided to look on a whim. We were there because my son wanted a suit coat and shirt and tie to wear for his 8th grade graduation pictures this week. (Yay!! Almost there!! He found everything he wanted in 15 minutes. Fits perfectly. Looks sharp. Not so for his mom. Sad face.) I know I know. Just get to the point.

As I was wandering around from store to store, department to department, trying to find a basic blouse to go with plain black dress slacks, I realized that:

1. I felt like a giant dumptruck. I was grossly dressed in ill-fitting jeans screaming for mercy, ripped up shoes and a hoodie, with frizzy hair (sorry A, I know that hurts, it will get better), little make-up and a bad attitude. My own fault. Plus that dread cycle coming up has put me in pity mode for a few days. I hate it, but at least realizing it helps make it go away for me.

2. Patterns are the staple in women’s clothing and they can not only be ugly as hell, but they have the ability to make you instantly feel like an old lady with one bad color scheme.

3. My son and BF are hilarious. They meant to be funny with their comments about the clothes and my size issue. I was gently told I should consider something “not so fitted” especially if the buttons will be straining to stay buttoned. Even when I am standing. OUCH. What??? I have not been totally in the dark about this, but you know, bloating and not drinking enough water, and blah blah blah. My daughter’s new favorite phrase is, “You just got hit by a reality truck!” Well, I got hit by the truck, run over, and then it backed up and ran over me again. It was really the, “Are we going to have to go to Lane Bryant?” comment that pushed me out into traffic. It was said in a totally joking manner with no sarcasm or malevolence at all. But that one stung. Like, I almost cried, stung. And I have a pretty thick skin, like an elephant, metaphorically speaking. Sometimes it completely sucks to be female. For the record, I do still fit in the regular store sizes, I even have a two to three size  leeway before I have to give up the general department store or move to the Plus size section. I tried the clothes on, so I know. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with Lane Bryant stores or clothing. It’s just the next level of dressing nice for the bigger girl and NOT resorting to stretchy pants and sweatshirts. Which IS terrible. But that’s not going to happen.

4. My daughter is hilarious and dashed around the clothing racks looking for the perfect blouse because, “It’s not a big deal mom, just start exercising and eating better and it will be fine. You know you can do that.” and just like that, on and on, while she picked stuff out, matched things up and made me try them on while she determined which is the best. All while trying to cheer me up and soothe my hurt feelings with humor and the promise that after we shop we can go eat our last meal of fried greasy food because fried food always makes you feel better. My little Buddha.

I will say, for myself, personally, or for anyone who has the variety pack of kids, and this is most definitely a MUSH ALERT (skip it if you must): I feel extremely lucky to have a boy and a girl to raise and be raised by. They each bring their own unique personalities, and, still being formed, world views to the table along with some staggeringly stereotypical behaviors and ideas, that I can only attribute to their basic gender and gene pool that combine to make them the perfect balance between never wanting them to grow up and leave my sight and life or sending them packing to their dad’s for a long vacation. The definitely keep you grounded and aware of the world even when you don’t want to be. And most of the time they don’t even know they are doing it to you. Yes, I would like to order two of the offspring reality trucks to be delivered to the mall on Sunday. Schedule a drive-by and then a basic run-and-back-over, for about 2 pm. I’ll also take a Diet Coke while I wait. Thank you!

In the end, I bought a few different blouses. I need to dress better anyway. I look like a…well, I don’t know what I look like. I have no style whatsoever. I have been counting on the fact that the whole rest of my life will be in a scrub uniform so who cares. My daughter says I am just a real basic mom. I stay the same. “You’re just the standard jeans and black t-shirt mom. The simple mom. With the same clothes every day and the black shoes.” She struggles with the words but she means it in the most positive way. And since I’m so evenly proportioned, body wise, symmetrical, is what she means. I don’t really get fat in any one area, I just kind of “puff up”.

Now, tell me, who would NOT like to be described as “puffed up”? To make a long story, even longer, I faced my fear. Woke up yesterday, sent the kids to school, did my usual coffee/Words/computer/job search/money search/throw in a load of laundry morning and then suited up to hit the trail for a brisk four mile walk/run. Break the barrier. Start the exercise process again. Ease back into good health and healthy eating. Again. But, before I left the house, I took pictures. Horrible, shameful, lumpy pictures. So bad, I already warned my children to stay off my phone and not to be looking at all my pictures lest they be scarred for life. Nothing naked. It’s clear enough, without the nudity, that I need help. I mean, if we are facing our fears the proper body image is necessary. I have a distorted view of myself as my BF will gladly tell you is true. It’s not what you are thinking though. I see myself as far BETTER looking and THINNER than I actually am. Weird right? I always think I am smaller and weigh less than I actually do. AND, I am always very surprised when I see myself in a picture or in a mirror because that is not how I view myself in my own head. I don’t think I look like a model or anything. I know I don’t. I just over estimate my looks and body size. Probably my sense of humor and skill at writing too, but that never stops me from typing word after endless word. Let me just pause here, to say thank you, if you are still reading this, because with my attention span, I am not so sure I would still be reading me. And also, I hope there are not too many errors, because I really doubt I will go back and check it. Also, I am getting nervous this is taking so long because I have to walk to the library today as my exercise. Briskly, walk to the library. Change it up. Stay fresh. So I don’t quit on the second day.

Back to the post: I did good yesterday. One hour for four miles. Not groundbreaking. Not record setting. But it was outside (45 degrees—50-55 today! Unbelievable) and I did sweat. Then I came home and did something even crazier. Even more dangerous and fear inducing. I weighed myself. On a scale. An actual scale, with numbers, that tell your weight in pounds. I usually judge my weight by the jeans I can fit into. I have the 8-10-11 multi-pack of jean sizes. Different company’s but surprisingly accurate in helping me gauge my weight to within a few pounds. The only problem with my system is that I only have 5 pairs of jeans total to wear and weigh by. Four now. I lost the 10’s in the thigh rub incident of a few days ago (a tragedy I transcribed here some days ago, in far more words than necessary, as is my custom). It’s really a complicated system and sounds kind of confusing when you say it out loud, but the 10’s were the fat jeans. Pushing the highest weight I could go basically while staying UNDER 200 pounds. That is very important as that is the magic number for me. I have never, and will never (hopefully) see that number on a scale. Even pregnant I never hit it. And I tried. Long story…my boy decided to come three weeks early and spoiled my gain plan. Anyway, the 11’s are stretchy. Spandex is a wonder material. So even though the size is technically larger, my butt needs to be smaller to fit in them. But one of the 11’s is stretchier than the other. So it’s a matter of how stretchy do I want them and how comfortable will they be for the whole day? That’s the middle weight. The 8’s are the smallest. Again supposedly with Spandex, but one pair is decidedly stretchier than the other, by far. One pair I feel perfect in.

The other pair though, gives me, what I like to call: The JMT’s. That would stand for Jumbo Muffin Tops. Or “Juffins” as me and Stevie like to cackle about. One day, recently,  the muffin tops were really spilling over and we were laughing about how they jiggle when I laugh and get worse when I sit and how I need a tighter buffer shirt to wear under my real shirt to try and skim them over, like frosting on a messed up, cracked and crumbly lumpy cake. I said, ” I don’t just have muffin tops, I have jumbo muffin tops. I have Juffins!” and we laughed hysterically. I am sure I am not the first or only person to have come up with that, but I’m taking credit in my world because I never heard it before and I said it and my daughter and son were there when I did. So that makes it official!

Got all that? Here’s the key to the whole thing. The weight was not as bad as I thought. And even if it was, who cares. I was ready to cry and curse all the delicious food in the world and my lack of willpower and laziness anyway. I still will. Probably forever. Nobody can be good ALL the time. Nobody. The point is I am aware. It is reality. It is not nice or pleasant but it’s OK. I will not reveal the number. It’s too much. But I will say that it is less than my top preggy weight and that is a miracle in itself I will not take for granted. And in the spirit of almost-full discretion, I weighed after the exercise and butt ass naked. Not pretty but I needed any help I could get for this. On the other hand, I am pre-menstrual though and I am a gainer beforehand. I have gone as high as five or six extra pounds. Which I always thought was such a croc and makes no difference, but when you are only 5 foot 5 on a good day, standing rimrod straight and you are over 40, it makes a whole hell of a lot of difference. Obviously I have enough sense of self to not let things go crazy crazy and it also means my jean theory works pretty good. But I need to go buy smaller jeans if I want to keep this up. I read in a magazine that the French ladies tie a ribbon around their waist before they eat and when it gets tighter they stop. Same concept with my jean system. That waist band can only dig into your belly flab for so long and for only so far before it becomes painful and medically dangerous and you must stop. I could bust a spleen sometimes, I wear them so tight.

Alright. For real now. I have to end this. I have stuff to do and miles to walk. My legs is sore! And the temp is up to almost 50 degrees! And it’s sunny! I must go outside! I must stop using so many exclamation points! Thanks for making it all the way to the end! You all get 100 bonus calories to use as you please! Have a great afternoon and I’ll chat back here later with the rest of the stuff I had planned. See you on the sidewalk.

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Are you sick of looking at that gaudy duck too?!?

October 5, 2011 at 4:46 pm (Body and Brains!, Day to Day, Exercise, Running Stuff, Weather) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Our weather has taken a turn for the better these last few days. It’s our last blitz before the horrible cold and (according to the weather predictors) record breaking freezes and snow inches. Yay. The only good thing about the snap in temperature is that it ends any allergic sneezing and runny eyes and noses. Annoying. The cold sucks though. I don’t know why I stay here where it’s all “seasonal”. Oh wait. I know why. Family. No job. Can’t sell the house. Can’t buy a new one. Etcetera.

Anyhow this nice weather really causes me to procrastinate on the schoolwork. But it does inspire me to get off my fat butt and exercise. Which I desperately need. How long can I keep pushing the 40+ envelope before I get some medical problem that I will actually have to go to a doctor for?? Let me tell you, you creeping, increasing, scary pounds on the scale…not much longer. After my initial health kick earlier this autumn where I shed a pants-applicable 5 pounds. I have managed to hold steady without a lot of effort. That means little to no exercise but no eating either. I’m squeezing the clothes on, but it is not pretty. There are lumps and bumps where there should be none.

So here I am again. Finding myself having to go run and eat healthy. If only I could keep it up for longer than a week or a jean size. Now, at least, I have the added inspiration of trying to outrun my daughter. Since she started cross country (it’s over now—but she did really good) I tried to help her with practice runs, but I am far too slow. These damn kids are fast. And they make it look pretty easy. I was practically having a seizure on the trail. I was counting down in my head by hundreths of a quarter mile just to make it two miles without stopping. I felt pathetic, old and out of shape, but there was no one around to hear me count and watch me dry heave and it did give me something else to think about besides my collapsing lungs.

And I did finish that two miles. 26 minutes. As usual. Every single time I start “running” again, that’s my go-to time. (Let’s not forget I broke a foot this summer so back off!! It’s a miracle I can run at all!! Let’s go with that excuse ok??) Anyway. It’s only been two days of avoiding crap food. Processed, sodium infused, alcohol infused, fried, etc., and I have to say I think I feel a bit better. I can breathe and my head doesn’t hurt too bad. The key is to drink alot of water. Something I have also been neglecting. I can tell that right away though. Because my eyes get all loopy and I feel dizzy. I also tend to go for the dramatic flair and claim that my throat feels like it is closing and I can’t sleep. I actually went to bed last night feeling hungry. My stomach was protesting the fact that I didn’t stuff it so full of food it could  try and trick me into sleeping flat so it could give me massive heartburn and laugh in my ear, “HA HA,  you have to sleep sitting in a chair!” Spoiled American.

I have heard of this anti-inflammatory diet (which is very similiar to a blood pressure diet or sodium restricted diet) and I guess that’s the one I will have to settle into. It seems to be credible and addresses quite a few of the problems I have been having as a woman aging in this world. It’s so hard to make the right changes even when you know you should. I give myself until 45. That’s the outer limits of my neglect and disregard. After that I think my ability to skate by like a paunchy middle aged lady will totally catch up to me. And I would hate to wait that long and be forced to change. Fun stuff huh??

I wanted to do more than just this post today. But typing on the computer for hours on end makes me really really REALLY crabby. I’m not sure why. But I am feeling the irritation building. I was able to finish my paper. With 7 hours to spare! And I applied for more jobs today. I think that’s what sets me over the crabby edge. The internet is awesome for job hunting and applying but it can be super tedious and repetitive at the same time. Now I am here. Getting ready for school tonight and trying to post something worth reading.

I’ll do some lighter, fun stuff later. No need to keep it so serious. Here’s a picture I took of Stevie’s cross country conference race. These are the 7th grade girls lined up and ready for the whistle. I like the way it looks. Kind of fishbowled out with the coaches behind them. It looks like something exciting is about to happen.  These kids are awesome! Track is in the spring so we need to get training! It gives us something to look forward to during the long winter and a goal to shoot for. Skinny and fast. Fall back. Spring forward. All right.

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NEW FEATURE!!!

September 19, 2011 at 1:50 pm (Joke, New Features, Stevie's Joke of the Day!, Tips to Live, Wasting Study Time Posts) (, , , , , , , )

VEGETABLES OF THE DAY!!

NO. Just kidding. The new feature, as with ALL the new things I try on here, will hopefully be a daily thing. I use the word daily in it’s broadest definition, like, close to every day, possibly every other day, but something posted ON A day. That doesn’t necessarily have to mean all the days are in a row…anyhoo, the new feature shall be called:

STEVIE’S JOKE OF THE DAY!  Brought to you by various sources, among them, popsicle sticks and her science teacher. Only the best will be placed here. I am talking the good jokes, the ones that are actually funny. These will make you laugh out loud (or at least chuckle to yourself), and they are short. Seriously, riddle short. Really.

For those of you still actually following this blog thing, I apologize for the serious lack of posts and dedication to this medium. I love sharing all the thoughts in my brain with random strangers because it’s fun and good to get these things out of my head. I really do have lots of stuff keyed up and ready to go, but 3-D life keeps interfering with my 2-D need to chatter endlessly about stupid sh*t all day! Pardon my harsh language. I am well aware of the non-importance of a site like this, but it is great to have an outlet for a racing mind.

Here’s the fast update: Became RN. Still registered for school to obtain BSN. Class is one day a week. Wednesday. Have to write a paper every week. Have procrastinated until Tuesday, to do such paper, every single week so far. Took the ACLS class that I talked about in a previous post. PASSED the class!! Certified! Refief! So nervous!  STILL DO NOT HAVE A JOB! Stevie, the girl with the jokes, joined cross country and has meets every other day, and for two more weeks. Luckily, I have been able to attend all. In fact, she has one today. In about a half an hour so I need to get this up and out there. I need to update resume. Send out more applications. Do that paper. GET A JOB! I got money on my mind, and you’ll see that in a later post when I get back from the run thing. I should prob make dinner too. It’s not all bad. In fact it’s pretty good and I need to enjoy the time instead of freaking out because it can all change in a fast second. (That’s another post).

Let’s do this joke thing. Again: STEVIE”S JOKE OF THE DAY!! Are you ready??

Why was the mushroom the hit of the party?

Because he was a fun guy! (FUN-GI)

See how it all ties in?? Mushroom picture, mushroom joke…this is the kind of high level entertainment you can expect from this site on an almost daily basis. We think these are pretty funny. Tip to Live/Rule of life: You must have jokes you can tell at any time, to any crowd. These are those jokes!

Alright, gotta…runyuk yuk…later.

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Running is NOT an option

July 5, 2011 at 5:11 pm (Body and Brains!, Broken Toe, Day to Day, Exercise, Heat, P90X, Running Stuff, Summer Break, Weather) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

I was behind this Jeep on the way home from school one day. Pretty cool I thought. And now I have a place to put it! I’m going to just have to face the fact that I cannot use my foot the way I want to. Since I broke that toe (or two) three weeks ago, the swelling and bruising have gone away but the pain remains. I’ve been walking on it and doing various other dumb things, like trying to bowl, droppingamotorcycleonit, and even trying to run. Fail. I hobbled out one fourth of a mile. Being generous. My son was walking faster than I could run. And the next day, forget it. I couldn’t even put my shoe back on and the top of my whole foot was kind of fat and swelly.

This is the first time in my life that running can not be my main form of exercise. Walking is really pushing it. One more reminder that I will not live forever. Suh-uh-ucks!

So I have to find a way to do cardio type, but stationary, working out. Preferably with no shoes. I have some Yoga X and some Kenpo I can do from the P90X workout system. And I have to say, Jillian Michaels Beginner dvd’s are pretty good. It’s something new I added to my page, What We Have In The House Right Now. (I’m trying to do this fabulous site and update all this old information.)  Anyway, like I said a few days ago, we are trying to accomplish alot this summer. Body and Brains. Now that daily school is over, exercise needs to be the only option along with healthy eating. The weight is creeping up and so is my B/P. We weigh again tomorrow to see if any of our small changes this week have knocked out an ounce or pound  or two. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy big. Remember, if you are doing it too this summer, anything the same or less is good as long as you are moving every day and trying to make the better choices.

Speaking of which. I need to get some water. It’s HOT over here! 96 degrees. I guess the heat is here to stay for awhile. I’m going to take that water and sit out in it for a bit. Sweat some of the gunk out.

Oh wait a second, Two and a Half Men is about to come on the TV. That reminds me of my favorite kind of water made by Skyy. Yes, I have seen them all, but that doesn’t make them any less funny or easier to watch with a big glass of. Of. Ummm. Liquid.

Later.

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Conspiracy!

June 11, 2011 at 1:45 pm (Day to Day, Exercise, Movies, Running Stuff, Warrior Dash, Weather) (, , , , , )

Now, if I really want to push the issue, I could blame my chest cold on my complete lack of trying–training–for the Warrior Dash. (And not just the weather). It’s legitimate. However, if I need someone or something to blame for my complete lack of STUDYING for this test I’m supposed to be taking, well then, I HAVE to blame the cable companies 100%. That’s right I said it. How dare they give us free movie channels?!? All weekend long! With free HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, Starz, TMC, Flix, and other stations that I’m not even sure what they are, how in the hell am I EVER supposed to go study?? Half the movies are crap anyway, but…I haven’t seen them or I have seen them but they suck you in, and they’re free. Freeeeeeeeeee…..I haven’t seen that movie on the list but I’m sure if they play it I will watch it. Ugh. Here’s a little re-cap of how I wasted Friday night:

Scary Movie (still pretty d-a-m-n funny)

Transformers. 2. (s-u-c-k-e-d, but I never saw it, and glad I didn’t waste any money in the theater to see it. It really was bad. sorry.)

Salt (saw it about 5 times already, and even watched it on DVD a mere three days ago with Stevie, but watched it AGAIN)

And we are already planning for later tonight. Easy A is being recorded (only saw that one 3 times and the BF has never seen it, so that makes it ok and a good excuse, plus, it’s really cute. I recommend that one for people exactly my age and with children, particularly girls…I won’t turn this into a giant movie review but trust, it’s good.)

Stevie wants to see Tooth Fairy and Grown Ups, (not interested and also seen 3 times) but I say, half the fun is just scrolling thru the guide and picking at random! Crazy Saturday nights! Man, I need to get a job quick! I should prob go study so I can make that happen.

 

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Guess I’m running another race cold

June 11, 2011 at 11:59 am (Day to Day, Exercise, Running Stuff, Warrior Dash, Weather) (, , , , , )

 

And slow. Thank goodness for the obstacle part. It’s a chance to stop.

School, weather, wheezing and laziness are the only excuses I can come up with at this moment. I’m sure I can think of more later on tonight. Especially if it rains again. It’s supposed to and it’s so chilly outside now. Probably shouldn’t use rain and mud as an excuse since that’s kind of the whole point of the Warrior Dash, but I just did! I still have a week to get outside and run around a little. Besides it’s only 3 miles of running, broken into easy chunks by the obstacles, and you can walk it if you want to. I promise to train religiously for the 5-Mile at Labor Day. I’d like to keep that under an hour.

I have to go eat some leftover Hooter Wings right now and then I’ll post more later. Oink.

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June Two. Day Two to the Dash.

June 2, 2011 at 10:30 am (Day to Day, Exercise, Running Stuff, Warrior Dash) (, , , , )

National Running Day is over, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still get out there and run! If you did it yesterday, go do it again today! Here in Chicago it’s pretty nice right now. Not too hot, and perfect for going outside and working up a sweat! I will be leaving the house shortly to do just that. Thank goodness the Warrior Dash has obstacles to break up all that running! Yesterday was not my proudest day of exercise. The good part is that I managed to get my son out there and moving, but, the sad and pathetic part is, that I struggled with a measly ¼ mile. Really. I was a plodding old lady. Apparently running once a week for varying distances and so inconsistently is not the way to train for anything. Maybe my theory about eating all the junk in the house and drinking all the wine before starting the summer shape up was not as brilliant as it seemed. I probably should have just threw all the crap away. Oh well, too late now! We did manage to squeak out 2 miles though. So we are about to go do again. I really only need about 3.2 miles in a row.  Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Be back later.

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National Running Day is June 1!

May 31, 2011 at 11:06 am (Day to Day, Exercise, Running Stuff, Warrior Dash) (, , , , , )

On June 1, we celebrate together!You may run alone, but on National Running Day, we celebrate together! On this day, runners everywhere share their passion for a lifestyle that is one of the best, and simplest, ways to stay fit—and so much more. You can head out solo to clear your mind, gab with your regular running buddies, or turn an unsuspecting friend into a running fiend. This day is for us!

One more serious thing! I promise! Let’s all get fit for life, or at least a summer! No pressure! One day at a time. And let’s make that day tomorrow!

Click it here to find out more: National Running Day!

It’s hard to start (I know…) but it feels so good when it’s over!

And, I almost forgot…Warrior Dash is coming! 18 days! Thanks for the reminder sissy! You just started a HEALTHWAVE!!

Now get out there and run!

(Fyi–picture and text above is from the website runningday.org listed above). Get involved if you can!!

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Spring Break for the weary!

March 17, 2011 at 10:31 am (Day to Day, Exercise, Holiday, School News, Warrior Dash) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Finally!! It has been a long–fast 9 weeks! I tried to post…wasn’t going to happen. After BOMBING my very first test back (literally. failed. less than passing.) I am back up and over the minimum required to graduate in May. And of course I am going for the A again. I got to. It’s close. It’s within reach! And since I seriously do not do ANYTHING else now…(that includes: exercise, cooking, laundry, cleaning, sleeping….) I should be able to manage it. Its a boost for the class and a boost for my grade point average. Its all about the resumé now!

Anyway I won’t go on and on about boring school stuff (even though I have gotten to do LOTS of skills and get experiences these last few weeks that no one really wants to hear about!) because I want to catch up on LIFE! And laundry!

My BF, the BEST!! in the land, made a valiant attempt over the weekend….cleaned and dried and folded AND put away! Thank you thank you thank you…and I love you….and I am truly sorry about what a sucky GF I have been…I promise it will get better!!! Please hang in there!! XO

But, now 4 days go by and wtf?? a pile of clothes again! What a rip! So in between posts and making a half dinner (from a box, but with some ingredients!) and driving my mother to the doctor, exercising, and the inevitable homework (tests when we get back and some other stuff) I will try and do this here housework! It may not happen all today! But I think I can fix it up by tomorrow afternoon! Then I can have a whole week to slack off!! Maintenance, people!! It’s all about maintaining!

So I need to update my Ipod. It’s not as crammed up with junk anymore so it works alot better now. After my epic meltdown last summer with the maximum capacity overload, I wiped it out and just put on the music I use for running or driving. Much smarter. 30,ooo songs is nice but it’s really not realistic for anything except maybe a radio station and even then, they only play what someone wants to hear. Over and over and over again! And I need some new music!

And I need to hit the road! With my feet. Me and my sissy are doing another crazy running adventure…for charity of course. But that won’t make it any easier. 6 miles and a cart following us, breathing down our backs, putting on the pressure, just waiting for us to fall below the minimum time to complete, and ready to scoop us up off the road and drive us to the finish line! HA! She says it won’t happen! I hope she is right! That ground hits hard though on my out of shape feet (and body!) I haven’t gained any weight—mostly because I don’t have time to eat! but I haven’t gained any muscle either or tone or shape….then there is the Warrior Dash! It’s that time again! So be prepared to hear ALL about that! I need Tony Horton to bring it! To my house and get me off my fat a**! P90WTF??? It only works if you actually do it!

Anyway…That’s it for now! I will go look for something good to post as a picture for the top. Something that is NOT snow. It’s gorgeous today in the midwest! Chicago is teasing us for spring!

Happy St. Pat’s Day to all who celebrate.

Please give a quick thought to the folks out there in Japan trying to keep it together for another day, and wish them the best before you have that drink!

And here’s a little shout out to my new, number one fan! Stevie! Hi baby! Love you! Now get back to school stuff please!!

Thanks for hanging with me for a bit! More later!

 

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