The Graduation Video!
If nothing else gets done today in my world…This is for my lovely daughter. You are off to a great start. Love and hugs. Mom.
WHAT?!?!?! (Language Alert)
You’re f*cking high! Are you out of your mind? This sucks! This house is a f*cking prison! On planet bullsh*t! In the galaxy of this f*cking sucks!!
What are we gonna do now????
This is for the BF. I know I should be reading. Infections can be fun! But this is funner. Here is the clip you were looking for. Fast forward to the 5:30 mark. We are a little behind in the movie watching…but hey, it was still on the new release wall even if there were only two copies. It counts!
(This is from the website Funny or Die. Off the Starz special from the movie. (Thanks for putting it on the web) If you can’t see it directly, which is most likely the case because I can’t embed it here, click on the link below. Hopefully I got it to work somehow. You are welcome!)
FYI This contains VERY BAD language! Not for the youngsters!!
Inevitably…this always follows…
As a parent, I can’t condone it, but the my son thinks it’s pretty funny. (He’s seen worse with his daddy so don’t send any nasty comments my way) He’s 12 and he can find it himself anyway. I’ve already told him to turn it off, like, 5 times. That I know of. Gotta love that YouTube!
Again I apologize for the language. It’s BAD. Not for the little ones. Everyone else… enjoy the ride!
Today is the first day of Christmas in my world
UPDATE 12/17/09: I am finally done with this semester of school! And I am registered for January. Stress, money, stress, books, stress, start studying NOW for next semester(that’s basically what they told us today), stress…my point is that I obviously wrote this in the throes of desperation for panicked finals and four tests in a row. I am appalled at all my bad grammar and weird use of words (melee’ ?? WTF? I don’t even remember typing that word!) I never say it out loud! So strange. But I’m leaving it. For fun I thought you could read it and tell me how many errors I made! Best, most creative slap down gets a shout out and…I don’t know…something. Maybe a free vital sign check-up?!? It’s hard to give stuff away when I am here and you are wherever you are! Ok…go!
If you are like me, and I bet most of you are these days…you have divorced parents. And you have been traveling to various families for most of the holidays for most of your childhood. And then YOU got married, had kids, and got divorced, and now you have two, three, four, five….etc…MORE families to travel too during the holidays. And even if you managed to get out of a few visits in the melee’ these days, your kids haven’t. Their just starting the roller coaster of holiday family dinners and fun that defines our holiday memories and ideas. Personally, for me, my dream is to have enough money to leave Chicago the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and not come back until after New Years, to a country that doesn’t celebrate the holidays. Or at least one that has a beach and an ocean as its primary geological features. My last thoughts were the Maldive islands. Any and all are welcome to come with me. I’ll even pay. Tahiti is my second choice. Just imagine yourself in the South Pacific, water so clear you can see right to the bottom, warm breeze and temperate weather, and you are in your own bungalow high above the water, relaxing on the deck with a steaming cup of exotic coffee, planning a day that has nothing to do with snow or sweaters or candy or decorations or presents or giant dinners of ham and turkey and pie….and all your family is there with you, happy and getting along, tan and healthy and relaxed…it’s a lottery dream. Trust me, I know. So today starts Christmas with my dad’s side of the family. It’s fun, actually, but the dream remains….
Merry Christmas Everybody!
Since Stevie said it was here…
I better post a video that we think is funny and everybody else does too. And if you have never seen this commercial, then I say, “WTF?? You may declare yourself a better person than I, because you obviously NEVER watch TV. Congratulations on having a life!” I give you, The Geico Pothole, and junk….
New York Coffee Cup. Goodfellas. “…get to live the rest of my life like a schnook.”
Sunday night movie time! AMC, thank you! I haven’t seen it in so long and there it was. This is a fine, fine, addition to my little scavenger hunt! Check it out at the 9:12 mark.
I love this movie even though it’s long. Ray Liotta. Joe Pesci. The kids were watching and JP is so good onscreen that every time he came on the kids were nervous about who he was going to kill next. Uncomfortable tension that really projects. They went to bed so they didn’t get to hear my fav line, but I recreated it for you. Say it like he would say it.
Then watch this, 4:55 mark:
“And now it’s all over.”
“And that’s the hardest part. Today everything is different; There’s no action…have to wait around like everyone else. Can’t even get decent food…I’m an average nobody…”
NY Coffee Cup and 30 Rock Rocks!
It’s got some of my favorite things. Comedy. Tina Fey. Tracy Morgan. Hilarious one-liners and slapstick. The New York Coffee Cup–of course. It’s filmed in New York. It’s about New York. Twenty minute lengths! Perfect! I know I’m a little late to the 30 Rock game, but I am busy. This video is a compilation of Liz Lemon moments from Season 1. The cup is actually in the clips. But for you die hard anals like myself (not really worded well there) so far the cup is in: Season 1, Episodes 4, 6 and 8. We are only up to episode 12 of the first season, so that’s all I got. But. I love how the cup debuts in episode 4. Two of them crushed on the ground at Yankee Stadium with rats walking all around them. Lovely.
NOTE: If you can’t just watch it, which you might not, if you click the You-Tube Link it works fine. Don’t want to infringe on rights and all….NYCC is at the 1:30 mark.
When last you heard from me, I was on my way to school…
…with high hopes for the rest of the evening. When suddenly…Tequila! (And that was TWO days ago.)
I did go to school. I got the “pre-heads-up” to the actual “heads-up” classes I have next week. Signed some paperwork. Got some questions answered. Payed for classes. Bought more books. Drove home excited as hell, but unaware of the complicated nature of what I am about to embark upon.
I have three books and a syllabus right now, and I have three more books to buy. Definitely the most I have needed so far. When I trained for EMT I was on an adrenaline rush for hours after every single class, for like 4-6 months. It was crazy. And I have that same crazy feeling just looking at these books. Two years and god knows how many hours are about to go into this program, but I am ready. I’m not sure my body can take the intensity. I had trouble sleeping before, but I guess that will just help me on the job! I talked so much on the phone to the BF just driving home from a pre-class class, that I, “low-battery-powered-off”, the cell phone. The damn thing drained out good. First time I talked to the cut-off. Even after I plugged it back in it wouldn’t turn on for a little while.
So I take a closer look at this new book. Calculating With Confidence. Drug calculations, measurements, math conversions…OMG, it looks hard. Drug labels, syringes, pills, liquids, fractions, decimals, cc. mL. mg. oz. You need: Aspirin gr 10 p.o. q4h p.r.n. for pain. You have: Drug label, that suddenly makes no sense whatsoever. And tell me how much, with how much diluent, time of day, route of administration, but don’t forget who you are giving it to, how much they weigh, what else they are taking; now mark it on the drawing, and don’t “F” it up because you could kill someone…. I’m paraphrasing…but that’s the idea. Once you take off the plastic shrink wrap, the front cover has a skull and crossbones on it. They don’t want you to see that until it’s too late. And you thought that the nurse handing you two Tylenol in the hospital after dinner didn’t require any skill. HA!
The amazing thing is, that in 2 months, that book is going to make perfect sense, and I’ll be calculating in my sleep (not literally), but for now…we better go to Pepe’s and think about the future.
So the guy that has been working there since he was a child, really, (I know, because we as a family, collectively have been going there for his whole life basically, I even remember a time when he was out in the parking lot trying to drive off in his older brothers car…he got in trouble for that…) anypepestoryway…this kid/adult now (Ricky? The name would not come to me, don’t judge, I’m approaching 40, but Mason and Stevie both agree, yes, on the name) made me a killer, and I mean KILLER margarita. I took 4 drinks and I was feeling the heat. By one third gone, I was TWO thirds gone. I wish I could say I was joking, because I was getting “altered” and fast. (My teeth were numb and I tried to walk out of the clear glass panel NEXT to the door, when I left the restaurant) I ate some chips and salsa and some shrimp cocktail on crackers and a tamale and a chili rellano but food was failing me fast, so I concentrated on finishing the medium margarita that, based on my morning calculations of how-long-it-takes-my-body-to-filter-out-the-alcohol (years of research have perfected this system) there must have been at least, 5 shots of tequila in my drink. I can say that with confidence because I was still slightly drunk at 7:30 in the morning. And I even tried to move the alcohol along with activity and oxygen before I fell into dreamy-drunky sleep the night before but sometimes you can’t keep a good buzz down, or up, or whatever. End of story.
I dragged myself up, took out the garbage, diluted my remaining blood level of tequila with coffee, and watched Regis & Kelly with Pat Tomasulo subbing for Regis (!!) I wrote it on the calendar! Busy schedule, yeah yeah, I’ll be working soon enough and you’ll miss these long, rambling posts. (More Pat Stuff)
The Pat Down. For your enjoyment. And since this is Chicago, we have 2 newspapers…here’s the Trib version. Ok, I think I’m done now.
Then I really pushed the limit with a five mile run. Five point one something something, to be exact. I ran the water bill to the Village Hall, which maps out at 5+ miles. MapMy Run.com. 30 minutes there. 34 minutes back. One hour, four minutes. I will take it. I ran on the sidewalks. Concrete, hard on the shins with lots of hills, (dang Park Forest doesn’t have a completely flat spot 10 steps in a row), and chock full of tripping hazards. Broken cement, uneven, crooked, weeds, rocks…I’m not sure what the village is doing all the time. It seems like they dig holes in random spots all around town just so there’s something for the kids to fall into. At any rate. I was done for the day. Kids got home about 3 ish and we ate ice cream and talked about all they did last week. Stevie made cupcakes! First time on her own and no crunchy ones from egg shells! (So far) So proud. Then dinner and a movie. (Burgers on the grill and Smokey and the Bandit from Netflix) unpack the bags, go to bed and poof! Here we are. Today.
I’m going to skip the run today, maybe go take a walk at the nature trail if I can get the kids out there. Mason has grass to finish and we are open. I have the pictures you have been waiting for…I didn’t forget, it’s just time and energy and getting them off the cell phone. I even have video! The kids wanted to play in the water, but we don’t have a pool. We have a hose. So they filled up larger, plastic, Tupperware bowls and put their faces in them or dumped them over their heads. They would swim in a wet sponge if they could. Then they played water-hose-jump-rope, which is actually pretty funny. So that’s coming too! And all that other stuff I said I had…Remember my theme: Everything is always two days ago!
Cupcakes!
Half with sprinkles, half without! Tasty!
Chicago Support! And something funny after all the sadness! (By season, because I may have overdone it and I need some kind of purpose other than my lack of self control)(I also may have taken some liberties with the whole “season” thing too…)
Summer Time, summer time, sum sum summer time…
I have to say I am hitting that “celebrity” Tag a lot lately…but it’s getting into August…dog days of summer…my life is kind of boring…seriously, this is my day: Run and finish painting the kids room. I’ll post pics later of my progress. (Don’t roll your eyes)
Winter Time. There’s no song for that.
Since I am feeling out of touch with the world, I started getting up early again to watch the news which then segways into Regis & Kelly. Channel 9. WGN News/Station, Chicago, Illinois. I love the morning team. I think they are all pretty funny. I suppose I should shout out: Robin Baumgarten, Larry Potash, Ana Belaval, Dean Richards, Valerie Warner, Paul Konrad.
Forward Time. No, it’s not a season….YET.
But I especially love Pat Tomasulo! The Sports Guy. So funny! And apparently America thinks so too, or at least Chicago America because they voted him to be a co-host for Regis & Kelly when Regis is on vacation or days off or whatever! I didn’t even know there was a contest!! Local news people all over the country, men and women, (for when Kelly is gone). Anyhow, I have been laughing at him way back when I still had a job! This was my:
First Time. (with Pat)
So, in honor of him winning I turned to good old You Tube and posted just a few videos, so you could laugh too! As you may have guessed. Don’t give up right at the end here! This is one of the best! Come on! 3 more minutes of your life is all I’m asking!
Good Time.
just shy of pretty 