Happy New Year To Me!
44 years old today. My final birthday in which I will actually be getting older. I like the number 44 so that’s what I will be staying at. This is a super fast post before I go to work in half an hour. It’s my holiday to work. Boo. At least it’s double time. Let’s all hope for a fast shift and a fun day if you aren’t working! Have a drink for me. Please! These are my presents so far. Lighthouse bird feeder from the BF. LOVE IT!! Just imagine all those bird shots I will be getting now. Amanda, I am talking to you. Boring, my ass!
From my mom. These are fall decorations for my house. And I got cash. The pumpkins are in the living room now, but they will be relocated to the bathroom as soon as I get new towels and crap. Thank you mommy!!
From my sissy Noelle. Lottery tickets and a magnet. That magnet is already on my fridge. I hope I win money! Thank you! Ok Amanda and Tom, I am waiting…
I also received many internet birthday wishes and coupons from places I shop at and places I don’t. I plan on listing them all later, because some of them are pretty funny. I hope they age adjust the coupons to places I will need as I get older. That would be awesome. Although I am NOT looking forward to my first birthday wish from the “Depends” company. I really really “gotta go” hahahahahaha. Have a great day! With any luck I can spend the last 30 minutes of my birthday back at home tonight! XO to all! Lisa.
Maxima Love
That’s my big number. And we are on the way to the golden 200,000. I noticed that Maxima owners really love their car. Maybe it’s because they have been driving them for so long and for so many miles. I spend more money, and am willing to spend more money, to fix it than replace it. I have the 2004 version. (The best shape I think. Very “Maxima”.) Technically, and for full disclosure, I am not the original owner. That would be my BF. And he bought it brand spanking new. But we swapped cars a few years back, and my trade was destroyed in a terrible, totaling, highway accident (no injuries except the car) so I am claiming the Maxima as my own forever and always.
That’s the whole car. It needs some cosmetic work and it makes some strange noises, but it starts and takes me to work every day. If you love your Maxima, and have some time to burn, send me a comment, or a pic if you want. I know you are out there because I see you driving around in your Maxima, with the same look I have when I drive around in mine. For the most part. When I’m not dog-ass tired or coming home from work at 2 am. But I digress.Maxima people look at other Maxima people. Probably just to compare cars, but whatever. I’m not going to go into the whole big thing. Send me a comment!! We are so aggressive too. Just do it. Please. Anyway…
Let’s try to shake this site up today. My sister, the self-titled queen of all things interesting, decided that my site is too boring for her. So I am starting with fast cars (because that’s a huge reason for loving the Maxima in the first place–speed) and continuing with exciting, upcoming, posts such as, death. And pornography. I’m not kidding. I said death. With pictures. And porn. With pictures. Check back in a few if you are not automatically getting e-mails or following me. And if not, why not? Take the time and do it now. E-mail to the top right, or follow by clicking the link for it. Easy and one less thing to keep track of. I will come to you! Now that sounds exciting all by itself doesn’t it? But right now, I have other pressing matters to attend to that cannot wait. I must go to the local public perishables and supply institution. For long term staple items and body products. Bare bottom body products. Can I even type such scandal? Then I have to visit my pharmaceutical connection. I need to pick up some “medications” there. The good sh*t, that messes with your heart. Then I have to get ready to meet the brain trusts at the education center who will be teaching my children life-saving survival tactics for an ever changing, future based, random, potentially dangerous, world, that they have to be prepared for at all times. Their regimen includes hands on training, as well as written doctrine and instruction. Do not tell me that my life is boring. It is a daily grind to stay alive. And no one, I repeat, no one, gets out alive.
So don’t worry so much. Here’s some of that education in action. A picture that just sums it all up. Left on a note pad, on the coffee table, for us mere humans to decipher as we wish. Shake up the status quo every now and then. Analyze everything, and nothing, at the same time, and draw your own conclusions on how to proceed. Keep moving forward with as much kindness, and humor, as you can muster, and you should be just fine. Deep stuff. Random and hilarious. Like life itself. Later.
Happy Birthday Sister!
It’s hard to follow a gripping snake and bunny story, but here you go. Since you don’t get your own party, ever(!), I will give you your own post. I like this picture and it will be a permanent record of your youth, which is slowly slipping away, as you painfully crawl, another year, towards 40. Hee hee. I went to the beach with the kids on Monday, and I found that orange bikini I wore to Las Vegas, with you, and our 30-year-old asses. Such a painful memory. Such a long time we had to stay in the pool waiting for those shmoes to move away from us. Such rockin’ bodies we had. Ha ha. Anyhow, I vowed this new day to wear that bikini again. And in Vegas. What’s your ETA on bikini body ready? Or are you just like, whatevs, let the flabs fly, now that you are approaching middle age? Hardy har. Morghan took a nice beach shot of me and the kids. It’s good because you can’t really see me. My favorite kind of picture. I’ll post it later though, so this can be all about you. Let’s make another memory shall we? Only this time it will be with 40-year-old asses. And our faces. Have a fab day doing whatever you are doing. I hope the air is warm, the pool is cool, the hubby is hot and the kids are somewhere else. I even have an awesome present for you this year! See you in a few days. XO.
Stevie Pic #5! And Updates Galore!
Posting to stay in the web site game today. Trying to get hits. It’s a total head thing. Posting because Stevie takes good pictures. Posting to use up all the ideas that are rattling around in my head and driving me crazy. While, in between, doing laundry. That damn laundry.
I have actually had 2 days off. This is my third. Third. (!) Why am I not all posted and getting tons of new followers? Why do I have a giant pile of crappy clothes and never worn shoes on my bedroom floor that are supposed to be purged? Why have I not seen my new little nephew in person?? Why is the laundry NOT done yet???
I have been doing things. Things like, helping my kids with this last week of real school. The boy’s last final is today. He is stressing big time too, trying to finish without any D’s. It’s been a tough and lazy year for this kid. His XBox is riding on this last grade. All he needs is a C. Seriously. And the girl has Algebra and her state Constitution to worry about. Math is killing her, but I told her to focus on the Constitution and forget the rest because at this point 8th grade is all about getting out and moving into high school. She needs to pass the Constitution, everything else, realistically, does not matter. No one EVER asks for your 8th grade transcripts. It’s all about the high school now. Fresh start. I may not be the best mom on the planet today, encouraging my kids to do mediocre, but at this point, on this Friday, with nothing left to lose or gain, passing is going to have to be good enough.
On a more “me” note, I exercised. Yes. I said, and typed, ex-er-cise. I did a workout AND ran a 5K. Yes. Ran. (Jogged. Shuffled. Walked a little. And maybe missed about 1/2 mile of the course…for a total of about a 3.9K) Two and a half miles at least. The course was kind of confusing and didn’t have clear markers at every point, but that’s not too bad. It wasn’t an official timed race, mostly fun. I finished in approx 40 minutes. Not a record breaker, but not last! And it was exercise. Outside, with other people as witness. My daughter helped organize a charity/community run for her school and I took the day off to participate. It was actually quite fun and I feel extremely proud and impressed by my daughter and her school and the whole event in general. There was about 60-70 runners and 100’s of spectators. That may not sound like a lot, but it is pretty damn good for Jr. High. My girl came up with the name and the theme and even designed the facebook page to promote it. Of course it helps that her aunt is a professional event planner and fixed all the details, but hey she’s only 14. Today the little village, tomorrow the big city! Check out the site here, if you like, just to get a feel for the kind of thing it was, and maybe next event you can come too! Here is my number bib as proof:
And holy poo-poo, my legs are killing me! The tops of my thighs seem to have taken the brunt of the exercise fall-out, and they are not allowing me to walk properly, or sit and stand with any kind of grace or fluid motion. I have to push myself up and lower myself down using my arms as brace so I just don’t fall over. So stupid.
The other thing I have been trying, “trying” being the key word in this sentence, is a new exercise craze you may have heard of called: Hip Hop Abs. More like Hip Hop Flabs for me (Sorry, that’s my one joke I keep repeating. It’s not the most original, but it usually gets a laugh.) and Hip Hop Jiggly Butt. (On another rambling side note, I have to say that when I was running, the most distracting thing was my jiggly butt. I could feel it moving. Yuk. So gross. I need to use this burst of exercise rejuvenation and keep doing it. It’s bad when you can feel all the flab actually moving. Yuk again.) My friend at work is like the new spokesperson for Hip Hop Abs or something, and texts me everyday harassing me about this shit. So I finally did it. I have discovered that I may be too old for the hippity hop, or any form of exercise that requires me to dance like a young person in a club and jerk my body all over, and into weird contortions that I probably couldn’t have done even when I was younger. My hips and shoulders don’t necessarily hip and hop in those directions. I just don’t have the rhythm or moves and ability to dance and exercise at the same time, and I never really did. Butt. I am going to try and continue anyway. If you are following along on the body pain tally, this particular tape set hurts my shoulders and arms. My abs are actually fine with this. They have probably just given up and are like, whatever lady, the layer of fat you kindly blanketed across our middle will protect us. Nice try though! Stupid abs. One day I will have a sort-of six pack and a non-30-year-old-ass. That last sentence is all for you Amanda. One day Vegas will see us again and we will ROCK that pool. We will cut through the water like sharks in the ocean. Although I will have to upgrade to a non-40-year-old-ass. Eeek. Time is a ticking.
I will continue now, to update my exercise status, again. I just re-read that, and I didn’t mean right now, but in the days and weeks to come. I even have a plan. I mean, I always have a plan. I just need to carry through. I even have a goal. Fer reals. Wanna see? I might as well just post it now, since this is already long anyway.
It’s a pair of jeans. That’s pretty much it. My entire weight loss/get healthy plan around a pair of Hollister Laguna Skinny 9L’s. I can almost squeeze my ass into them. Literally. They go right on up, and over my legs and thighs, but then stop dead at the ass portion of my body. I can almost tuck it in but then my front poochy area tries to make a stand and it’s just all-around ugly. There is no way I could zip them up and I feel bad for anyone near if I did. The pants would suffer, my flesh would suffer, anyone who has eyes and was looking at me would suffer. The jeans seem to be made of very high quality, strong denim and fasteners, but I don’t know, wearing these right now would require a lot of tensile strength that might be asking too much of a simple pair of pants. But that’s the ultimate goal.
The goal was also to have these on by my daughter’s graduation party in, oh, 22 days. I had a slim-down plan, like I did a few years back. The category heading is still over to the right there. 34 Day Summer Slim Down. Obviously I was going to modify that to account for my new timeline, but guess what? 34 days came and went and now I have 22. I aimed for that date so I could impress my whole family, current, new, and old, with my skinniness, because that’s healthy, right? Like my daughter’s teacher just said to me at the race when we were talking about it, “Oh well as long as you are doing it for the right reasons.” HaHaHa. We laughed. No one loses weight to impress themselves. Anyhoo. I am also trying to grow out my bangs. Which is taking way longer than I want. But I was using her party as goal for that too. I figured if I could keep them longer, and survive the bad stage where they poke at my eyes, without cutting them, at least until then, I could probably make it the rest of the way to the long stage again. So far so good on that goal! I use headbands at work. I feel weird about my open face but half my patients can’t see me clearly anyway so who cares. As I always say, I look much better blurry.
Well I should wrap this up. Hours have been spent here. I swapped a few loads of laundry, but I need to fold all that crap and put it away and try to clean up this house a bit. I defiantly told the BF that I would have all the laundry done by the time he got home. I am so stupid sometimes when I am trying to be all smart. I think I hit all the major updates. No, wait…
Thursday was my daughter’s Spring Band Concert. Done. Today is the 8th grade dance. Exciting! We had Mother’s Day. I had to work. There was the annual Crawfish Boil my sister and her hubby have every year. Fun! Here’s a pic:
I have GOBS of bird pictures and wildlife in the backyard. The bird feeders are back. The fat squirrels are eating everything and making me mad. The hummingbirds are back too. I saw them. I have street money that I am still collecting. My niece graduated high school!! Congrats Jesse!! I have new things involving trucks with crazy stuff on them. And tires. Lots of tires. I don’t even know why. I probably have more random things that I can’t even think about because now I am trying to hurry and finish so I can do a fast clean sweep and get back to the computer. My son just texted. Geometry final is over. He’s one class away now from sophomore year. I need one last picture though to end this mish mash. And there are always more pictures. In my phone and on my desktop. Hmmm. How about superheroes? My kids are a daily reminder that you are never to old to build a blanket fort in your room to keep out the bad guys:
Or too old to goof around in Target. Hurry up mom, and take the picture!! Come on now…
I. Am. IronMan.
You won’t like me when I’m angry.
Saving the world one word at a time. “Mommmmmmm.”
“Come on already.” Later.
Happy Mother’s Day! Feliz dia de las Madres!
Guess who the “Mother” is in this picture?? Trick question!! We’re ALL mother’s! Even the man…sort of. His wifey is preggers and should be having that baby soon. Technically not a mother but still a parent. I think I already went over this in an earlier post.
So here is another family pic. I am really expanding here, including self portraits now and everything. But of course I have to work. They need to make Mother’s Day an unofficial holiday for nurses because I have worked two years in a row and that doesn’t seem fair. We should have to switch off like other holidays. Next year I guess I better be smarter and plan ahead and take it off like probably every one else does. Live and learn.
Anyway, this is my official Mother’s Day shout out to all the Mother’s in my life! I included the Spanish version too because that’s how my son greeted me today. He’s actually nearing an “A” in Spanish, and he’s very happy and proud, and he’s really trying to use his new language to remember. Everyone do something fun today! The weather even seems nice. A bit chilly but sunny and perfect for outdoor things like walking back and forth between a house and a car or a car and a restaurant!
I am about to go call my mama and take a shower. Maybe we can do a breakfast in the morning, on Monday. Rita…maybe?? That way we avoid all the Mother’s Day rush and crowding! I know it’s last minute as usual, but why plan ahead anymore? Anyone in?? You can comment here if you like, but we should prob do a text thing or phone calls. Unfortunately I have to go now. Have a fab day to one and all! XO Later
New(ish) Feature! Posts In Pictures! Because, Seriously, Sometimes These Things Go On Too Long.
Sorry Sisters. This exactly displays the horror we feel on many occasions. This one was for our brother, who’s having his first baby, after emphatically denying that he would EVER have any children, for most of his life. We took this after the baby shower (haha–baby shower–family and friends, all women, focused solely on him, (and his wife of course. Which reminds me of marriage, another thing he said NO to for most of his life also, if we are keeping track. Which I am.) giving him tiny baby items that he could not care less about or even identify a mere two weeks ago, and will now become the center of his entire universe, when this new little human being will be awake and crying at 2 AM. We took this at his house, while goofing around on his new IPhone, yet another object of the 21st century that he also stated he would NEVER own. We jest because we love.
It’s also the kick-off picture, for what I am hoping will be a new kind of posting, that allows me to post faster and more efficiently, with less words. You know, let the picture “talk”, and me just kind of “caption” the event happening. Although I see I am not getting off to a great start here. That “horror” look is for how long my posts can go on for. And, as a bonus representation, it works for the horror I personally feel, because I never, NEVER, ever, EVER, post a picture of myself. And with good reason if you check the title of this blog site and this stunning picture proof of my “almost good looks”. I am the one on the bottom left as you are looking at the pic. In my defense, I photograph horribly. No lie. People say they take bad pictures, but I truly do. Even goofy, silly pictures. I am not photogenic at all. I look much better in person. And that is a hard truth I accept as fact now, and avoid the camera like it’s on fire or will give me a disease. Or get me pregnant. HA. My sisters look good either way. Luckys.
Once again, I must go, quickly. My stove timer is beeping, telling me I need to get showered and ready for work. (I set a timer for myself for more efficiency and that doesn’t work either.) I am still racing the clock, all the time. More posts to come if I can actually make this picture thing work. I have the pics. I just have to utilize the time. Enjoy your Saturday. I’m out for the next 8-10. (Hours. That is. That reference is to the hours I will be gone. Ugh. Stop typing!) Later!
Weather Update!
Going with a blue theme. And continuing with the “people reflected in ornaments/windows/etc..” theme. That’s Stevie. I am still trying to take down the decorations, so I have to use up the rest of these holiday themed pictures. I figure I can push it another week and that’s really it. Also, I meant to update the weather yesterday because I know my cousins depend on me to fill this internet space, and their valuable time, with information they can easily get by walking outside. Plus it’s been real nice. Like unseasonably nice. So nice that there is talk now of: “THE HORRIBLE WEATHER TO COME!!” Dun dun dun. We love predicting blizzards and snowfall that will be higher than our houses. Eh. I say it’s fine. It’s not really a matter of, one month of nice equals 3 months of crappy. It all depends on the winds and the atmosphere and the isotopes and all that meteorological stuff. If the world wants to warm up and top off right about here, I’m good with it. I’ll take rain and wind over white-outs and sleet any day. Anyway, it was a balmy 45 in the daytime yesterday and dropped to about 33 or so by night. It was very windy but I thought it felt kind of good. So imagine my surprise this morning when it was snowing! And some even stuck to the grass! Right now, at 5 pm, Monday, it’s cold. Not ridiculous cold, 23 degrees, (which I guess is pretty cold actually), but it’s not snowing. And it’s not too windy so it feels ok. Besides, I hear 50 degrees is on the way again by the end of the week. Yay! Global warming!
So that’s my update for now. No phone calls for any jobs today but I’m sure they will tomorrow. This is the year of positive thinking, all day, every day. I’m also going to go to the store and buy myself another interview blouse. I love Stevie doing the laundry for me, but she washed and dried my already snug blouse, and now it’s a little too small for me to stuff my upper body into. You know that scene in Tommy Boy? Fat guy in a little coat? Picture sausage arms in a black fitted blouse. Three quarter sleeves are not sexy when they are so tight your forearms have fat rolls. And speaking of rolls…I also need to purchase a pair of jeans (or two). I’ve lost another pair of jeans to the “thigh rub hole”. That’s where your jeans wear and tear at the place where your legs touch at the upper thigh area. Not everyone has this problem. Some people actually have a space between their legs and the material never touches. I say good for them. I am jealous, but can’t seem to ever exercise enough to open that gap. I guess it’s a lipo thing. But back to me. I am not now, nor have I ever been, one of those people. I am a thigh toucher. A corduroy avoider. I cannot be making noises while wearing my clothes (swish swish swish) c’mon, some of you know what I’m talking about. Besides that, I have other stuff that needs to be done on the big transformative 2012. Like get skinny. Well, not skinny. I am aiming for pre-child weight. I’d say baby weight but it’s been 14 years so that’s kind of pushing it. It’s probably attainable as long as I stop welcoming the day with Krispy Kreme doughnuts. (So tasty though, and if you microwave them to just the right temp you can literally smoosh them into a small enough lump that can fit into your mouth whole! That seems healthy!)
OK this wasn’t supposed to be this long. This is my third paragraph of winding this up. My kids have left again to go have dinner with their dad, and the BF is on the way with Chinese food. We were supposed to go to the gym as part of the new year, new you, but since they left unexpectedly and it’s really still kind of sort of a holiday technically legally recognized based on the fact that all of the banks and libraries are closed and there was no mail as an excuse to continue the bad habits until tomorrow when the year officially begins, this is what I am doing for just one more day. Posting. Eating. And half-ass laundrying and undecorating. I did manage to throw alot of junk food away today and will send the rest packing with the BF to his office tomorrow. One thing done. I even cleaned out the garage a little bit and have much garbage prepared for the morning. Two things! And now I will really end this post so I can clear a space on our table so we can settle in and let the food shoveling begin.
PS. For Amanda: Guess what the BF was getting me today at work? Are you ready for a really really really really long winter of annoying posts?? Are you? P. 90. X. 2. Yep. TWO. T-W-O. The second version. Doesn’t matter if I can’t even finish the first set. I shall attempt 90 days of one and then 90 days of two. I will fail I am sure. BUT. I can annoy you with it for 6 months!!! Happy New Year my darling sister!!! XO XO XO, or should I put, P90 X-O (hee hee hee) Forevah!
Sorry Sister!
Apple Pie! My first apple pie in many years. We will see. Juices are supposed to be bubbling and it’s done. That would be a crumby streusel type topping. It tastes good. I already tried it. Now hopefully the apples will be soft and sweet and the inside will not be runny!
Just have to dash out for some ice cream, milk, caramel, toilet paper, wine….well you don’t want my whole list. I’ll post later to let you know how it all turned out.
And for you Amanda…check the reply to your comment on the previous post. It explains it all in a witty way. XO. Dream sweet!
Cheap Red Wine Update!!
For those of you who might not read the comments. Although for my site, you really should read them. First of all, there’s hardly any. Second of all, IF an article even HAS a comment, most likely it is: 1. Very Important. 2. Very Hilarious. 3. From my sister, which is why it would BE #2. Or 4. From my mother. And don’t you want to see what a big time blogger like me gets scolded about publicly from her mommy?? Moving on…
My sister has replied to my plea about the carton of wine. And these are the real deals:
NOT bought at Walgreen’s. Was in fact, bought at JEWEL. So sorry for all of those I misled, thinking you could just run down to the corner drug store and pick up good, cheap wine that will actually get you buzzed. You’re gonna have to haul your lazy butt’s a few more miles to the closest Jewel store. Where they will have an alcohol section and most likely someone that knows it’s the good stuff, so bring I.D. We don’t promote underage drinking here. Seriously. Alcohol isn’t THAT great. Believe me you can wait until you are 21. You won’t be missing anything.
Next up…it WAS $5!! I figured it had to be close. I’ve purchased full size bottled wines for the same price that weren’t nearly as good.
And…my sister says they have other flavors! Well, alright! I’d say next trip I make to the grocery store I will go check that out.
In the name of really knowing how to waste some study time here, descriptive terminology, and reading the little box before I threw it out last night, I thought I would tell you how the winemaker explains the way it tastes. It reads much more professional than my words, but I’m not always sure I know exactly what some of these flavors and aromas are. This is an equal opportunity site though, so judge for yourself.
The wine company first describes the company and carton itself before the actual wine enclosed inside: Vendange Wine Cellars have a “passion for crafting approachable wines with true varietal character for everyday enjoyment” and this tradition continues with the “exciting new package that offers the ultimate in freshness and convenience.” Already sounds pretty good huh? Although I did say that yesterday, before reading this. It is convienient and it does stay delicious. Although my package did not last beyond 4 hours or so.
This is the wine: “Satisfyingly robust with notes of black cherry and toasted oak. Enjoy!” Now I wish I had read this first so that I could try and identify those notes.
I hope this helps round out my review now. Tasty cherry and oak notes via the vineyard, and a two-thumbs up, “Wine. Good.”, from the drinker. (Drinkers…the BF said it was “good” too.) We can all agree on the “Enjoy!” part. Thanks sissy!
Cheap Red Wines!! But, this cheap?!? Are you kidding?
As you can see from the picture, this is a Cabernet. From California. Called Vendange.
And if you can’t tell, this wine is in a cardboard carton. The kind of carton that school milk comes in. Really. I have NO idea how much this cost. My sister bought it for me, for my birthday, from WALGREEN’S. The drug store Walgreen’s. So I am going to go out on a limb and say about $5 or so…maybe cheaper?? She said that when she took it up to the counter, she didn’t think the checkout kid even knew that it was alcohol. While I was unwrapping it, I swear I thought she had bought me some Ensure or some other kind of food supplement drink. She’s hilarious like that!
Here’s the review part: It’s actually good. No kidding. It tastes like it should, kind of bitter, a bit fuzzy and dry, but not too dry. It has a slight fruity flavor. It’s a thin wine and easy to drink. When I say thin, I mean that it tastes like it had an ice cube melted in it, but in a good way, if that makes sense. At any rate, the alcohol is present. I poured myself one of the three servings it says is in here for myself, and I am feeling the heat. Granted, I am cooking spaghetti and meatballs on the stove and garlic bread in the oven, (real food), and it’s hot in the kitchen over here…but this wine is definitely giving me the warm, happy feeling that people want in a good wine.
Yes, it’s good. If I go to Walgreen’s I would buy it. The only thing I find funny is that it shows three little wine glasses on the front. As if. Because it looks like the size of a soda can. But I bet it’s cheap enough that everyone could just get their own and be good for the evening. I classed it up a bit and poured mine into a glass, but you could easily drink it right out of the carton. It has a nifty little cap that kind of sucks back onto the top and keeps it closed tight. You could take it with you very easily to the beach or a concert or wherever. The more I think about it, you could probably literally take it anyplace you wanted to drink wine. It’s as portable as a plastic water bottle and nobody realizes it’s alcohol!
It’s official, it’s my new favorite. Give it a try and let me know what you think.
And sissy…Thank you! I love the present!! If you are reading this, leave a comment and let me know how much you paid! My vast, wine drinking audience NEEDS to know!!
just shy of pretty 