Wednesday at 10 pm. School is time consuming.
Just thought I’d throw that out there. For me. And for you.
My dream of “6000 by 6 months” may not be possible. (That would be 6000 hits to this site by my 6 month anniversary of it) The date is approaching–Sept. 17—and I am far behind in the count.
Even if I had enough interesting and web generating things to say…I have no time to say them. Pity for you. My head is full of crap you may never get to know about!
Keep looking here though, tell people, post the site somewhere popular, get creative! I can’t because my brain is on skill mode: Make a bed, give an enema, re-position, give a bath, take the vitals…it’s rougher than I want it to be and I already know how to do this stuff! And don’t forget to study for the written test! Let’s be clear, I am NOT complaining. I love it like this…but my head feels fast-forward.
I bought the schedule book, so now I can waste alot of time writing down things that I need to do in the future, by exact time!
And I need to get off of here. But don’t think I’ll be leaving you empty handed, oh no! There was another party in the street and no one invited us!
Stevie and I thought these items, found along our walk this morning (beside the penny) were quite amusing.
Golf Ball. Ignoring the fact that it's garbage, isn't this a good picture?? Look at the color and detail. I took that with my phone camera! In the rain!
Golf Ball. Music CD. Something...was going on. Check out the next pic...
Partied right out of your socks! One anyway. And this is Wednesday.
Last picture. It's another spoon. The detail kind of got washed out by the color, but it's your basic, plastic, white, disposable spoon. This is the second spoon on the street in two weeks. I'm smelling a trend (and a new feature for me) Later in the day, this same spoon was crushed to pieces, still laying in the street, most likely run over by many cars. Sob. 😦
FYI on the book stack…
That’s not even ALL the books you COULD buy. There’s more! These are the ones, for this semester, I felt I needed. The other recommended ones I am going to do without. We’ll see…
And since I’m on the subject of being all philosophical and thoughtful and embarking on the new path and all, here’s a poem that was in the front of my first nursing book I ever bought, way back in June (ha), and sadly, it tears me up. (tears=crying or tears=ripped up ??–it’s almost the same thing–but I meant crying—don’t judge!)
Being a Nurse Means…
You will never be bored,
You will always be frustrated,
You will be surrounded by challenges,
So much to do and so little time.
You will carry immense responsibility
And very little authority.
You will step into people’s lives,
And you will make a difference.
Some will bless you.
Some will curse you.
You will see people at their worst,
And at their best.
You will never cease to be amazed at people’s capacity
For love, courage, and endurance.
You will see life begin
and end.
You will experience resounding triumphs
And devastating failures.
You will cry a lot.
You will laugh a lot.
You will know what it is to be human
And to be humane.
—Melodie Chenevert, RN
It seems cheesy to say, but I keep it close, so I’ll know, and remember why.
(and i can’t wait to get started!)
Jump in the line!
Rock your body in time!
Oh no! I believe it!
Jump right in…start the body line… shake, shake, shake, Senora! Work it all the time!
I’m kind of making up words and moving them around. I am home from the first official day of school. Short and sweet. Serve it up and push me out the door. This. This. This. Test Monday. Skills Tuesday. See you tomorrow. Don’t be late. Two hours in, and the hand holding portion of the program is over.
I am exaggerating for dramatic and humorous effect. The teachers are all quite friendly and helpful, actually, but, they are not slowly walking us along the education path. They warned us of the fast pace, rapid start, rapid finish; fall behind and you might not be able to catch up. There just isn’t time. Time is fluid. Sometimes we forget when it thickens up. It’s really more like water, and it flows the same whether you are standing in it, sitting in it, swimming in it, being dragged along unmercifully by it, or drowning in it. Unless you cry for help, no one is going to hear you. And even if they do, no guarantee they can always save you. They might be able to get you out of it, but you won’t really be o.k.
But that is a little too much for the first day. I’ll save that little rumination for about, October, when I am failing the math test! Just kidding. Positive thoughts. (Not going where you think) I’m only taking it one week, one day, one class, one hour, at a time. Small doses. Even using a teaspoon eventually fills up the bowl. And my bowl is empty!!
So why the heck am I typing on this time wasting website?? Because I like it. And I need it. I need to put all the crazy thoughts somewhere so I can make room for the technical stuff I need to do a job and do it well. I don’t think this writing thing is going to pan out in the way that I had hoped and I only won $3 bucks on the Mega Millions and $2 on a scratch off, and that’s the most we have won on lottery in like, two years.
So this is my future. I will be busy with school, in 16 week chunks, for the next two years. But I’ll still try to post to keep updated and sane. (You should subscribe to me! Top right column…and you won’t miss any of the fun. And you can comment and give me encouragement and make me feel warm and fuzzy!)
In about 20 minutes, when my daughter gets home, we will be going to the store to get me a detailed schedule planner, for the minute day-to-day things I need to do (tests/skills/exercise–yes, I still do it, just don’t talk about it as much—next race is Labor Day!) anyhoo…we need groceries and breakfast food and cash for my son’s gym uniform and sports physical….it seems kind of scattery right? (Run on sentence anyone???) But I have already done laundry and cleaned the house and did the dishes, prepped for dinner and bedtime…I am never more productive than when I have less time for the tasks planned.
Here is a picture of a nurse coffee mug I was given 2 years ago when I started this mess. (Thank you Nancy!!) I tentatively bring it out now in anticipation of success. I am normally superstitious about cart-before-the-horse and all that, but what the hell. I have to pass. Failure is not an option for me.
I also threw in the picture with all the books I was told I would need for the first semester. Semester. 16 weeks. Hey! You keep them, FOREVER! And if you are like me, you’d want to know this too:
Height of books: 17 inches
Weight of books: 42.4 lbs.
You never have to bring them all anywhere, (so they say) but I still think it’s interesting to know the stats.
You can't see it exactly, but it's about 16" tall. AND I forgot a book! I took its picture all by itself. So that brings the total to 17".
The missing book from the pile. I included it in the weight though. I should have taken a picture of the scale! I'm not going to now because I don't feel like moving all those books again. Too heavy. Too many.
Thursday. Friday. Weekend. Monday. And all the other days after that…
Wednesday post had to be at one am, because the real world has spun back into motion.
I’ve been on hold for the last year. Preparing, but not actually doing. And here it is.
Thursday. First day of school for kids. Last day of summer for mom. It was a half day, decent weather except for the morning when it rained at the bus stop. Just enough to soak my son for his first time back on the bus since 2nd grade. Yes, I went to the bus stop with him (Sister came too!) and no, we weren’t the only ones. Seems all the moms come out for the first (and second) day of school. My son didn’t care. He even gave me a kiss goodbye. In front of other people. I feel very fortunate (I truly do) to have such a nice boy. An hour later, we were out again. Stevie and I, walking her to school. She is fifth grade now. Top of the school chain! It’s a quiet walk this year. All the fifth graders from last year are gone now. On the bus. And that is what made up most of the kids on the street. One more year and she’ll join her brother at the Jr. High.
Profitable though, to take them out. Found a lot of loose change and some odd items for the next posts; Street Money and Odd Items.
After school we went to play mini-golf. The very last afternoon of summer and all its ease. Then we came home and waited for morning. Ha. Not really. The kids played outside until dinner and the BF’s friend came back (sunshine and blue skies) and fixed the roof pipe. Ten minutes. Done. It’s nice when there isn’t a typhoon trying to sweep you off the roof to your death! And don’t worry. There’s a picture. Observe:
Then, Friday. Full day. Boy on the bus. Girl walking. More change. Another odd item. This time the rain waited to pour down on Mason when he got off the bus walking home. I managed to get all the laundry done, pay the bills, organize my school papers and start the prep work. The nursing starts immediately. You don’t ease into the pool, you jump straight in. (Not with the people yet, just in the water. No worries.) Anyway, it’s good. I have some reading and vocab and, oh no, here come the kids. Mom on hold. Kids take the front. Papers to sign, homework (they jump in too) and a snack. And back to me. But I want to type. So here it is. I have a few days of catching up to do.
I’ll just end it here and post more pictures! I can’t concentrate on a good conclusion because Stevie turned on Hannah Montana and I swear to God and all things holy or hellish, that damn show makes me laugh out loud and sucks me in faster than a low flying goose in an airplane engine. To borrow a phrase from a hillbilly soliloquy. Those Cyrus folk can sure turn a phrase. Hardy har har.
Severe Weather Wednesday
It’s all about tornado’s, fierce lightning strikes and those crackling, rumbling, low-in-the-throat, crashing, thunder rolls. And what’s worse is when the wind picks up out of nowhere, a leaf here and there, a branch on the roof, another branch…a limb…holy hell! And your BF’s friend is trying to do you a favor and fix your WW II, rooftop, chimney pipe that is crumbling to shit, but it’s pouring down rain and the clouds are moving fast across the sky looking like they are taking aim directly at the soaking wet guy kneeling on a high roof holding sheet metal pieces, a screwdriver and a drill. Not good. Pretty damn scary actually.
I appreciate the attempt, for real, but I can’t have him being killed in the effort. Rain is one thing, this was another.
And the day started out so…semi-sunny. Storms were predicted. I went to school. Got the final info before the real work begins. Have some assignments. Reading. The usual. I feel good though. It’s the same at school, semi-sunny then storms. (To definitely mix metaphors. See Zero Effect) Mind set is what they talked about today. (And by “they”, I mean all our teachers that we met today, the speeches, the handouts, and the rundown of the schedule and how the classes are actually coordinated. All the good stuff before you are bumping around in the halls looking lost and feeling like a failure. Graduation will never come.) “They” said, “Think of yourself as the nurse. In all future questions, studies, clinicals, tests…you will be referred to as the nurse. The program doesn’t ask what you will do in two years when you become a nurse, it asks what you will do right now as the nurse. That’s a tough mind game. But not as tough as this, also told in a story, (from my memory to the page):
“An evil wizard was always trying to get rid of the beloved prince. The wizard was always thinking of ways to outsmart the prince and show him for a fool to the rest of the kingdom. But the prince was smart and he knew the wizard was always tricking. One day the wizard had a plan that couldn’t fail. He would hold a bird in his hand and ask the prince if it was dead or alive. If the prince answered alive, the wizard would crush the bird to death and show the dead bird proving that the prince was wrong. And if the prince said dead, the wizard would let the bird fly away to prove his error. The plan could not fail. So the wizard, in front of all the kingdom, said, “Prince, is the bird in my hand dead or alive?” And the prince thought about it, knowing he was being tricked somehow, and answered the wizard finally, “It is what you make it.”
“This adventure, and it is an adventure, you are about to embark on, is only what you make it. You hold in your hand the power to make it anything you want. To give and take what you will from the next few years. How much effort or how little effort you devote to this goal. It’s all up to you. No one can force you to participate or not. You will have in your hands the power to care and to comfort, and the power to heal the sick. But you will also have the power to make someone even sicker and to possibly even kill them if you are not very careful. Is it scary? It should be. But it is worth all the sweat, every drop of blood, and every shed tear”
So they say.
Truly.
I may not have it written word for word, but that was the basic story and summary. The woman who spoke it is very powerful, but quiet to listen to. She is very calming, while at the same time, managing to scare the poop out of you. But I feel that it’s all true. Why would they lie? It’s hard. But the reward is great. That’s what they say. That’s all and that should be enough. Everything else after is extra. I believe it. I worried about the whole life/death, mistake/error, kill the patient thing, and the teacher said that we should be worried. We should always be a tiny bit wary and prepared for what could happen, because anything can happen at any moment and at any place. Now isn’t that comforting? Luckily, amazingly, and more miraculously, it’s a wonder things don’t go bad more often than they do. It’s a fine line.
But I think that is enough for tonight. It’s late, and my kids have their first day of school, and I need to get up to be with them. My daughter is fine. Same school, same friends, same schedule. She’s the top class now! But my son is in Jr. High. New school, the bus (again), new classes, new schedules, new teachers, new students. Small fish in the big pond!
So, the weather is calm right now, the storm has passed for the next few hours. They say the morning might be rough, but then smooth sailing through all next week. Is this a weather report or a damn soul-searching, reflection-on-a-life-yet-lived, or what? I need to lighten it up with some kind of image. This is just the thing to restore your faith in my (ill-advised representation) sense of humor and shallow/callous self.
When we went to the zoo, so many days ago, (more pictures, I swear.) we got a few pictures of the lions. The animals were really animated that day. Like, ALL of them. It was weird. I have video of the apes and they were acting crazy. (You Tube soon, I swear.) Usually they just lay around looking like they all want to commit suicide, but for some reason, everyone was jacked up and pacing or jumping or chasing or playing…whatever the various species to do to get us humans close enough to attack. And the lion was working it! He was walking back and forth in front of this “viewing” window. Right against the glass. Stopping, looking, staring (evilly and maliciously) most likely devising some way to get from where he was to where we were. Well, not us, exactly. We were waa-aayyy in the back, trying to figure out what the lion was up to. The lady lion was trying to get a ball out of the water. But the man lion had something cooking. You could just tell. Stevie would barely let me take the pictures I took because she was sure that the lion was about to chuck it all, go for broke and try to bust out of that glass and kill us all.
At any rate, when you think about it like that, these pictures are kind of funny. The people are so colorfully dressed and so interested and amazed by the lion being so close, that I have no doubt, any one of them would say they were completely surprised and shocked that the nice little kitty would try to hurt them, even while he was chewing on one of their legs or ripping out their intestines. But you judge for yourself.
Curious animal/performer/vegetarian, aka, Alex from Madagascar OR bored/angry/ bloodthirsty, carnivorous lion, hell-bent for destruction?
Look into his eyes and then decide.
Oh!! Isn't he cute?!?!
All I see is: lunch, lunch and more lunch!
Won't all those colorful clothes, torn to shreds, covered in blood and scattered all over the ground, add that extra oomph! to the news story later when they pan the scene 50 times for our sick sense of viewing enjoyment??
Snack time! You know that lion is NOT posing for a picture. He's thinking, "I could get a head AND an arm."
The picture BELOW ↓, was taken after he walked away from the window to go take the ball away from the lady lion, in between canvassing for people. She would get it out of the water and he would roll it back in. But not that last time. He finally quit that bitch and took the ball and rolled it right off the rock wall, into the protective moat that separates the people from the lions. Then he went and laid on a rock. Playtime was over. That’s when I took my picture.
Dumb-ass, crazy humans. I'll kill them all as soon as I get big enough.
Feel better? Me too!!
Sweet dreams! Goodnight! Don’t let the man-eating lion bite!
So they say the nursing shortage is over. WHA-AH-AA-T ?!?!?
That's what this fish looks like it's saying! It looks surprised.
For now.
I love how my career choice (finally made after years of hazy plans for the future, AND three years of prerequisite education)Â has coincided with the fact that I still won’t get a job!
Thanks to the recession. All the retired nurses have come back to the work place to cover for their husbands and families who have lost their jobs. Hospitals aren’t hiring. Medical places are trying to get by with what they have on staff already. But people keep getting sick. People keep going to the hospital whether they want to or not.
I dramatize for effect. In the next paragraphs of all these doom news stories, they go on to say that most nurses will go back into retirement after the pressure is off, and there will be even more nurses leaving the field in the next 10 years, just because it’s their time. And that’s where all us newbies come in. Someone has to cover the exiters. So I am still moving forward with no fear.
I just thought it was kind of funny to read this early on Saturday morning and only one week before I start full time nursing school!
Now back to our regularly scheduled posting.
Attempting a “quick” post. Yeah right.
Hopefully. Had school today. Told my joke. It was funny enough.
Maybe you want it? There’s a blonde on one side of a river, and another blonde on the opposite side of the river. The blonde on the right yells to the other blonde, “How did you get on the other side of the river??” And the other blonde yells back, “You’re already there!” Ha and Ha.
Lots of good ones were given! Didn’t buy any more books. Going to check online and buy the rest there. I have the main ones so its ok for now.
Driving home I find out I have to take my mom for her eye surgery at 6:30 am. Which means I need to be at her house by 5:30 am. Which means I have to leave my house at 4:45 am. Which means I get to see every spectacular shooting star and debris from the meteor shower at the most opportune time of all the viewing hours here in North America! Click here for the link. Just making lemonade out of my lemons! I actually think that meteors are pretty cool. Pray for good weather. No clouds or rain please!! I don’t want to be getting up just in the plain old dark!! I need entertainment!
After I got home I changed and did a quick (ha) five mile run around the neighborhood. My goal is less than one hour for the 5-mile race on Labor Day. I did one hour and 15 seconds, non-stop, except where I got stuck at lights going across a main road. (There was too much traffic for me to just run across) So based on today’s jog, I believe I can easily achieve my goal. I probably would have been under by about a minute or two save for the stoplights. Promising!!
That led me to a cool down walk where I found change (oh yeah!) Street Money next!
And that led me to coming into the house to do a quick weigh-in. Shouldn’t have done that! No good. Not losing. I know why. Too much crap. The days are ok, but dinner just sucks. Greasy spoon hot dogs, pizza, quesadillas and guac, ice cream, McDonald’s! It’s not enough to run and bike, I gotta eat healthy. And I have really fallen off the wagon. (I think my legs look really good now though. They feel solid and muscular and look good in shorts (all my opinion) but who else’s should really matter??) Anymodestway…
It also led me to here, the internet, where I wanted to post, but not really because I can never keep it short enough! As I opened the WordPress page there was a picture of delicious looking chocolate cake, right on the front! How terrible of them, and right at dinnertime when people are out there sweating and starving. Anyway, I click on it of course, and the site is full of good looking food and recipes and amazing photos and so I included it in my side bar. You can click here for the fast version. You know it has a complicated name. I listed it as Beautiful Food. Very elegant though. Again, makes mine look like the ramblings of a crazy out patient, but we can all have our space in the airwaves. I will be using it as my food porn because I have to cut it back down before the race. Dr. Ian I’m looking at you! And your Extreme Fat Smash. Just for the three weeks. Then BFL. Life on the hamster wheel!
Alright, one more bad dinner is on the way, so I better finish up. I haven’t forgotten all the other stuff, I’m just losing time. Let me end with a lite joke from class today for when you are feeling like life sucks and it can’t get any worse (it can always get worse). This is no reflection on me at this particular moment, things are stable, but you can see the relevance for the future:
The Toothbrush says, “Somedays I feel like I have the worst job in the whole world!”
“Ya, right.” says the Toilet Paper.
A picture to jazz up the long paragraphs.
It’s my school. In the winter. With snow. They only shovel half the stairs. I don’t know why.
(I was just looking at my phone camera and just wait until tomorrow(??) I have “Power Line” photos!! We went back to that trail on Sunday!)
When last you heard from me, I was on my way to school…
…with high hopes for the rest of the evening. When suddenly…Tequila! (And that was TWO days ago.)
I did go to school. I got the “pre-heads-up” to the actual “heads-up” classes I have next week. Signed some paperwork. Got some questions answered. Payed for classes. Bought more books. Drove home excited as hell, but unaware of the complicated nature of what I am about to embark upon.
I have three books and a syllabus right now, and I have three more books to buy. Definitely the most I have needed so far. When I trained for EMT I was on an adrenaline rush for hours after every single class, for like 4-6 months. It was crazy. And I have that same crazy feeling just looking at these books. Two years and god knows how many hours are about to go into this program, but I am ready. I’m not sure my body can take the intensity. I had trouble sleeping before, but I guess that will just help me on the job! I talked so much on the phone to the BF just driving home from a pre-class class, that I, “low-battery-powered-off”, the cell phone. The damn thing drained out good. First time I talked to the cut-off. Even after I plugged it back in it wouldn’t turn on for a little while.
So I take a closer look at this new book. Calculating With Confidence. Drug calculations, measurements, math conversions…OMG, it looks hard. Drug labels, syringes, pills, liquids, fractions, decimals, cc. mL. mg. oz. You need: Aspirin gr 10 p.o. q4h p.r.n. for pain. You have: Drug label, that suddenly makes no sense whatsoever. And tell me how much, with how much diluent, time of day, route of administration, but don’t forget who you are giving it to, how much they weigh, what else they are taking; now mark it on the drawing, and don’t “F” it up because you could kill someone…. I’m paraphrasing…but that’s the idea. Once you take off the plastic shrink wrap, the front cover has a skull and crossbones on it. They don’t want you to see that until it’s too late. And you thought that the nurse handing you two Tylenol in the hospital after dinner didn’t require any skill. HA!
The amazing thing is, that in 2 months, that book is going to make perfect sense, and I’ll be calculating in my sleep (not literally), but for now…we better go to Pepe’s and think about the future.
So the guy that has been working there since he was a child, really, (I know, because we as a family, collectively have been going there for his whole life basically, I even remember a time when he was out in the parking lot trying to drive off in his older brothers car…he got in trouble for that…) anypepestoryway…this kid/adult now (Ricky? The name would not come to me, don’t judge, I’m approaching 40, but Mason and Stevie both agree, yes, on the name) made me a killer, and I mean KILLER margarita. I took 4 drinks and I was feeling the heat. By one third gone, I was TWO thirds gone. I wish I could say I was joking, because I was getting “altered” and fast. (My teeth were numb and I tried to walk out of the clear glass panel NEXT to the door, when I left the restaurant) I ate some chips and salsa and some shrimp cocktail on crackers and a tamale and a chili rellano but food was failing me fast, so I concentrated on finishing the medium margarita that, based on my morning calculations of how-long-it-takes-my-body-to-filter-out-the-alcohol (years of research have perfected this system) there must have been at least, 5 shots of tequila in my drink. I can say that with confidence because I was still slightly drunk at 7:30 in the morning. And I even tried to move the alcohol along with activity and oxygen before I fell into dreamy-drunky sleep the night before but sometimes you can’t keep a good buzz down, or up, or whatever. End of story.
I dragged myself up, took out the garbage, diluted my remaining blood level of tequila with coffee, and watched Regis & Kelly with Pat Tomasulo subbing for Regis (!!) I wrote it on the calendar! Busy schedule, yeah yeah, I’ll be working soon enough and you’ll miss these long, rambling posts. (More Pat Stuff)
The Pat Down. For your enjoyment. And since this is Chicago, we have 2 newspapers…here’s the Trib version. Ok, I think I’m done now.
Then I really pushed the limit with a five mile run. Five point one something something, to be exact. I ran the water bill to the Village Hall, which maps out at 5+ miles. MapMy Run.com. 30 minutes there. 34 minutes back. One hour, four minutes. I will take it. I ran on the sidewalks. Concrete, hard on the shins with lots of hills, (dang Park Forest doesn’t have a completely flat spot 10 steps in a row), and chock full of tripping hazards. Broken cement, uneven, crooked, weeds, rocks…I’m not sure what the village is doing all the time. It seems like they dig holes in random spots all around town just so there’s something for the kids to fall into. At any rate. I was done for the day. Kids got home about 3 ish and we ate ice cream and talked about all they did last week. Stevie made cupcakes! First time on her own and no crunchy ones from egg shells! (So far) So proud. Then dinner and a movie. (Burgers on the grill and Smokey and the Bandit from Netflix) unpack the bags, go to bed and poof! Here we are. Today.
I’m going to skip the run today, maybe go take a walk at the nature trail if I can get the kids out there. Mason has grass to finish and we are open. I have the pictures you have been waiting for…I didn’t forget, it’s just time and energy and getting them off the cell phone. I even have video! The kids wanted to play in the water, but we don’t have a pool. We have a hose. So they filled up larger, plastic, Tupperware bowls and put their faces in them or dumped them over their heads. They would swim in a wet sponge if they could. Then they played water-hose-jump-rope, which is actually pretty funny. So that’s coming too! And all that other stuff I said I had…Remember my theme: Everything is always two days ago!
Cupcakes!
Half with sprinkles, half without! Tasty!
just shy of pretty 