Happy Birthday Me Madre!

February 21, 2015 at 4:26 pm (Birthday Wishes, Day to Day, Family, For Rita, My Mom) (, )

10549099_806401382738534_5401664362344452917_o

I called you but I guess you are out doing birthday stuff. And I sent you a text. No reply. Did not do Facebook as you know I won’t be. But you have this! I like this picture. I hope you are having a great fun day and I will see you tomorrow! I love you! XO

Advertisements

Permalink Leave a Comment

More Random Wild Life. For My Mom.

August 24, 2013 at 5:24 pm (Babies, Big Animals, Big Fish, Birds, Day to Day, Fish, Flowers, For Rita, My Mom, Nature, Picture Posts, Posts In Pictures, Summer) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Chipmunks.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Rabbits. This is the mom I believe. She looks kind of beat.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Those ears kill me. They are gigantic. Is this technically a “hare”? Or a jackrabbit? Or just a plain, old, midwest rabbit? Probably doesn’t matter. I have a few more:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

This was before babies. She (?) would be sitting out there in the rocks every day when we would leave and sometimes when we would come home. I can only assume it was a nice warm spot by the house. Our walls are literally brick and drywall thin. And our crappy metal windows basically blow air in all year round. It only makes sense that the hot air was coming through just as well. On the upside, I tell my family that we will never die of accidental carbon monoxide poisoning. Too many leaks in the infrastructure. One less thing ya know?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The nest of babies. We found it by mistake. The one closest to the front obviously did not make it. But the other two were squirming around. There may have been three at one time but we have only seen two in the yard on a regular basis. Here’s one:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Isn’t that precious?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

This is like one of those “find-the-rabbit-in-this-picture” pictures. Highlights magazine. Or am I the only one out here old enough to know about this?

20130627_160105

Frog.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Another frog.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Let’s keep working this water theme. Ducks. And baby ducks.

0612111602

Mom and dad ducks.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

City ducks. Chicago Lock Ducks. That’s prob a good name for some kind of team. The Chicago Lock Ducks! Swimming into stadiums near you! Eh. Let’s just post the pics.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

To wrap up this very long segment, I will end with the fish and turtles inside of our house. The time is ticking away and my daughter wants to go out. Here is the old stuff and current stuff. Oscars, from young to old. Then the turtles, in order of growth.

IMAG1207

IMAG1191

20130824_155637

When you come up to the tank, they swim to the glass to see you. So friendly like. We had 4. Now we only have 2. Sad. What’s really sad is that we are kind of waiting for the other two, to, ummm, perish, if you will. They live forever and you can’t put anything new into the tank with them because they will attack and kill it. Not all, Great White shark attack killing, or gnashing teeth piranha swarming blood bath, no, they just head butt and try to clamp down with their giant mouths and take pieces out of the other fish until the poor sucker cowers into a corner, sinks to the bottom of the tank and die. Nice fish huh?

IMG955475

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Awwwww. So cute.

IMG955526

Turtle as art. This is how they look now.

20130824_160134

20130824_160219

20130824_160052

All awkward and on top of each other. Their tank is really too small now.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Just as an extra note to anyone that has turtles and a turtle tank that gets really dirty: Spend the 8 dollars on this moss ball thing. It really works. It looks ridiculous, and you are basically paying for something you could scoop out of a creek at the Forest Preserve, but hey, nature isn’t always pretty.

IMAG2039

IMAG2038

IMAG2037

So there ya go mom! I saved all the squirrel pictures and the skulking black cat that prowls around our backyard for their own separate posts. And there is A LOT. The squirrels we have in our yard are very crazy, so they need their own special column here. And the cat is just a cat, but I have various pictures of it doing predator-like things that I feel make it worthy of its own posting too. Plus, this is like 3 pages long. It’s enough. And I found more birds and flowers. And inanimate animals. I really like taking pictures of statues and fake animals too apparently. It’s a disease. It’s also 85 degrees and Saturday afternoon, and my day off. I need to get up out of this house and hit the streets. There is shopping to be shopped, dinner to be gotten, and drinks to be drank. Everyone have a safe night and I will post more. Later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Permalink 1 Comment

Happy Father’s Day!

June 16, 2013 at 1:28 pm (Babies, Day to Day, Family, For Jeff the BF, For Tom, Holiday, My Dad, My Mom) (, , , , , , , , , , )

img004

Happy Father’s Day to all the daddies. Past, present, future. By blood or by life. If you are taking care of the kids every day, you are a daddy! Keep on truckin’. That’s for my dad. Old school. Gone but not forgotten. (Sorry little brother,  you weren’t born yet in these pics!)

img003

Look at that old time stroller! It’s like a shopping cart for babies. My brother, who just became a daddy for the first time, and the last of all us kids to have kids, is rockin’ it new school with all the hip gear. And a baby backpack. Show me the love:

WARNING: The picture below my be unsuitable for children. And adults. It contains a gesture that may be considered offensive. Please proceed with caution.

20130615_142923

My brother is still not fully embracing the whole “baby thing”. Or is he? We’ve seen him pushing the baby, changing the baby, feeding the baby, carrying all the babies stuff in a snazzy backpack, (see above), so I don’t know. He’s a rock. He’s an island. But this is a man who knows how to protect the important things in life. Last picture. Hooch and the baby. I think his son is one finger away from looking exactly like him. Have a very, very, happy Father’s Day!

20130615_172451-2

Permalink 1 Comment

Happy Mother’s Day! Feliz dia de las Madres!

May 12, 2013 at 12:42 pm (Day to Day, Family, For Amanda, For Noelle, For Tom, Holiday, My Mom, Picture Posts, Posts In Pictures) (, , , , )

IMG950090

Guess who the “Mother” is in this picture?? Trick question!! We’re ALL mother’s! Even the man…sort of. His wifey is preggers and should be having that baby soon. Technically not a mother but still a parent.  I think I already went over this in an earlier post.

So here is another family pic. I am really expanding here, including self portraits now and everything. But of course I have to work. They need to make Mother’s Day an unofficial holiday for nurses because I have worked two years in a row and that doesn’t seem fair. We should have to switch off like other holidays. Next year I guess I better be smarter and plan ahead and take it off like probably every one else does. Live and learn.

Anyway, this is my official Mother’s Day shout out to all the Mother’s in my life! I included the Spanish version too because that’s how my son greeted me today. He’s actually nearing an “A” in Spanish, and he’s very happy and proud, and he’s really trying to use his new language to remember. Everyone do something fun today! The weather even seems nice. A bit chilly but sunny and perfect for outdoor things like walking back and forth between a house and a car or a car and a restaurant!

I am about to go call my mama and take a shower. Maybe we can do a breakfast in the morning, on Monday. Rita…maybe?? That way we avoid all the Mother’s Day rush and crowding! I know it’s last minute as usual, but why plan ahead anymore? Anyone in?? You can comment here if you like, but we should prob do a text thing or phone calls. Unfortunately I have to go now. Have a fab day to one and all! XO Later

Permalink Leave a Comment

Oh Pardon Me, My Polish Seems To Be Showing

February 22, 2012 at 2:19 am (Birthday Wishes, Day to Day, Employed Posts!, Food News, Holiday, My Mom, Nurse News) (, , , , , , , )

I cannot believe I almost missed Fat Tuesday. Or Paczki Day as some of us more ethnically challenged folks call it. This job stuff is really getting in the way of me being able to process any other information in the greater world outside of myself and my immediate life. I am living hour to hour and not the good hours. I sleep for most of the day hours and then if I work one extra day/night in my work week, I get all confused about if it’s Sunday or Monday. True story. I could not remember what day it was yesterday. Felt like Sunday, was actually Monday. And since the kids were off school, there was no normal week-day structure to help me out. And even though today is Tuesday, I was unable to drag my ass out of bed at 6am to get the kids up for school. Thank goodness the BF gets up at the same time. I was out out out. Plus…I have a burning chest cold or something that I probably got from one of my people coughing in my face. Didn’t know it was coming. Couldn’t get out of the way fast enough when it did. Gross I know, but it’s a hazard of the job. You just try not to think about it and realize that there are greater things that can kill you faster. But truthfully, the odds are in your favor that you’ll live.

Anyhow, besides being Fat Tuesday, it’s also my Mother’s Birthday.

Happy Birthday Rita!! Shout out to the lady that gave me life! Love and hugs and kisses!

Since I missed her actual family party, I thought I’d take her to breakfast this morning, but sadly, I slept right through anything that would be considered “morning”. Eleven-thirty is still technically before the afternoon. But it’s too late for breakfast. She is the one who reminded that today is Paczki Day when I called her to tease her with that free meal. I didn’t believe her until I looked at the calendar and saw that tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. For me, time seems to be moving fast and slow at the same time these days. Irritating and confusing.

At any rate, I was able to shake off the sleepies, put on real clothes and venture forth into the world to get a big fat, fatty dinner to cook and buy myself some of the best Paczki’s I could find at the local Jewel. We ended up having spinach and artichoke dip with pasta and chicken and wine and our delicious, thick, doughy doughnuts for dessert. And we will probably eat them for breakfast tomorrow too. We aren’t really big on the religious aspect of the day, more so just the eating part. Sinners everywhere I tell ya. But we did manage to get the last package of chocolate covered ones with creme filling! We had to stalk the display table and stand watch from the produce section because another lady and her daughter had them in their hot little hands while talking on a cell phone to someone about how they had just gotten the last package of chocolate paczki’s, and did whoever they were talking to want them or not?? Apparently it was a no because I suddenly saw them both walk back out of the store through the in door and me and my daughter swooped in and snatched them up! It’s a dog eat dog world out there when it comes to donuts most people eat only once a year.

Of course I wanted to get this typed and posted on the actual day, but alas, it is not to be. Midnight, one am, is not too bad though, I guess. I’m still up anyway. I see many late nights to come in my very near future. I’m off today, or was off today, Tuesday, and I will be off tomorrow, on Wednesday. Then when I go in to work on Thursday afternoon, they are basically throwing me to the wolves. Solo. On my own. No more orientation. No more preceptor. Training day is over. It’s going to be me and my patients. And probably lots of overtime. When I do get to leave and go home, some time Thursday night, hopefully before midnight, (pleasepleaseplease let everything go good and smooth with no admissions pleasepleaseplease) then I get to go back on Friday and do it again. I’ve noticed after about 3 to 4 days I finally start remembering the people, their meds, their personal likes or dislikes, etcetera etcetera, and the job becomes a hair bit easier. Luckily I will have ALL my future days to learn the people. Then thankfully, blessedly, it will be my weekend off. Two days to re-coupe, re-boot, and return to the anxiety show. If I can make it here, truly, then I can make it anywhere. That’s what all the other nurses I encounter tell me and they seem to have a confidence in me that I may not have in myself just yet. Most everyone has been helpful. Some have been wary. Some aren’t talking much. And some are warming up to me more and more every day that I keep showing up. But nobody acts like they want me to fail. In 13 short days I feel like I may be a part of something bigger than just a “job”. Or it could be that I just haven’t quit. She’s scrappy, this one. Hardy har har.

So, in the end, wish me stable patients with normal labs and no emergencies. Wish me a steady and organized pace at which to work in. Wish me NO admissions until next week so I can at least have two days of solo time without any extra work to worry about messing up. Wish me good weather to drive through in those late nights when I finally do get to go home. And throw me just a small wish for a little luck to get me through the rest of it. It took a lot of school and a lot of sacrifice and time to get this, exactly what I wanted. That’s what my son said to me on Monday when I found out about my new solo status. I wanted to cry. But he said, “Isn’t this what you wanted mom? Isn’t this what you were going for? You should be happy!” You know it baby. I am happy. And I’m still scared too. But not nearly as much as I was. Yesterday was my final swimming lesson and in 2 days I’m going to jump in the deep end, both feet first, and as far out as I can go without a life preserver. Even if it takes me longer than the others, I know I can make it to the other side. And just in case that last bit of writing got to be a little too much “King of the World” or “I Believe I Can Fly” inspirational mushy mush, here’s a picture of those Paczki’s I talked about earlier, and really, the star of the entire posting day!

Mmmm…Donuts. 

Permalink Leave a Comment

Are You Down With OPP??

January 26, 2012 at 3:07 pm (Body and Brains!, Day to Day, Losing the Fat, My Mom) (, , )

Cause I’m DOWN with OPP! Yeahhh baby…Too bad the OPP in this post means:

Old People’s Problems.

I’m definitely down with something. How I must chuckle these last 24 hours at my naive and childish posting from a mere two weeks ago. You’ll recall, I claimed to be in denial about my weight issues and diet and exercise and such. And I was in denial, and clearly still am. You can read it here if you want or just move forward with this post because it’s really not that hard to follow. Click on the link right here.  FATTY BO BATTY IN DENIAL.  Anyway, that was just a poke and a tap compared to the major slap down I received yesterday morning.

As I have been merrily skipping through job interview after job interview in the last two weeks, I have been landing on an offer more than not. (Thank goodness. I needed the boosts.) For one position, I needed to go get a physical. In case you don’t know, I am a registered nurse, and my job does require a certain level of fitness to perform well. It’s not anything too crazy; ability to lift and bend, some physical strength and tone, good eyesight, hearing, no drugs, etc…pretty much an overall general well-being. And I have all that. Sure I’m a little porky, but I have the strength and the muscle tone under there. And I could probably use an updated eye exam, it’s been 2 years, but I read all the letters on the chart. So what do you think did me in?? My @!#$%^&!@ blood pressure!! Excuse my shift key!!

Like a record scratching to an immediate and ugly halt, the B/P done me in. No clearance. It’s too high. End of physical. Go to your doc. Get some meds. Get this form signed. Call us when you’re done. (Ooh…here’s a good place to put in a TV quote I’ve been keeping in the hopper): So Long, See Ya Sucka, Bon Voyage, Arrevaderci, Later Loser, Goodbye, Good Riddance, Peace Out, Let The Doorknob Hit Ya Where The Good Lord Split Ya, Don’t Come Back Round Here No More, Asta La Vista Baby, Kick Rocks, And The Get Hell Out!

It’s not even that high. I mean, it’s not good, but it’s not crazy, stroking out, in the hundreds, off the cuff high. But it’s too high for the doc to feel safe letting me pick up a bunch of heavy things. It’s all about the heart disease. The silent killer. And oh, by the way, you of all people should know better. Yeah. I got it. For real this time.

By some twist of fate, my mom had to get an x-ray, and she missed her first opportunity because she decided to drive around aimlessly lost a few days ago, and couldn’t find the health center. So we planned to be there at the same time and we could go to breakfast after. Well, it’s true what they say, you are never too old to need your mommy. A fact, my mommy reminded me of, as we sat in the vestibule area after we were both done. Moms do like to keep driving that point home whenever they get the chance. When the receptionist told me to go get a follow-up with my doctor because this one isn’t clearing me, and she handed me the form I need to get filled out, and told me to not worry, it happens all the time, I will tell you, I was stricken. And I am not ashamed, maybe a little ashamed, to say that I cried like the biggest baby in the whole wide world right in that atrium area, sitting next to my mom on a cozy little couch in front of warm toasty fire. It would have been quite the touching moment if not for my complete mental breakdown. In public. Kudos to my mom who didn’t even bat an eye. Crying loudly in the middle of a health center? Whatevs. Probably happens more than I think anyway.

So here’s the thing. What it breaks down to is that I am OLD. Older. It is inevitable. I have to lead the pack of my sisters and brothers down the path of old age and I DO NOT want to. Before you think I have completely lost touch with my reality and my mortality, I realize it is only blood pressure. It’s not cancer or an illness that will start the end of my life. It is a very common and very treatable thing that can be managed for basically the rest of my life. And I was in big time denial, because I didn’t want to take medication. Sometimes you need the help until the diet and exercise can kick in with some help. But guess what? Wasn’t really following any kind of good plan. My name is…and I am a dumb ass. Well, my eyes are wide open, and screaming for help. Hell, the high B/P is probably why they are screaming. But it still sucks being first.

I’ve noticed other stuff too. Like my close vision, lately, requires me to do the whole, move the words closer in or farther away from my face, until the letters come into focus. Sucks. Can’t see that tiny red print on a black background without a beam of light. Sucks. Sweating my pits off in a 75 degree room when everybody else is complaining its cold. Sucks. Night sweats. Sucks. Shorter periods, less cramps. Yeah! But longer or shorter in-betweens, kinda sucks. I keep track, because I’m sure I will have to eventually. Just like I should have been keeping track of my B/P. I figured it was fine. It’s been under the danger level when I do check it, but obviously the docs machines say different. And before my smarty pants cousin types in a “menopause” comment (again…thanks cuz…at least I’m still a little bit younger than you!! haha) I am sure that horror is looming ahead, but the B/P issue is all it’s own thing I think. Well, not a totally isolated thing. The added weight and the poor diet probably contributed greatly to the cause.

I have an appointment today. In about an hour actually. Not really looking forward to it. My doctor is going to yell at me. Why didn’t I follow-up a year ago?? Have we learned anything from all this?? Why are you still the same weight?? (Actually, I was being soft on myself there. I believe I might actually weigh more than the last time I was there.) Ugh! So embarrassing. Time to grow up. I think the phrase people like to use is, “Put on the big girl panties,” (not my fav but this site is for the people) and suck it up. It’s my turn to start contributing to the global health and pharmacological economy with my hard earned dollars.

Anyway, I am down with OPP. But not for long. Thanks Mom! I Love You! I am very glad you were there to see me crack open the giant egg of UNFAIR!!!

I will end with something funny, as I must always do, and because I just remembered what my mom said to me while I was balling my eyes out like a little bitch. And it wasn’t mean or anything, It was just my mom being consoling and compassionate. I need to come up with a word to describe her wisdom nuggets. Anyhoo, when I get upset, I usually don’t eat. It makes my stomach hurt too bad, and I usually can’t swallow. So I’m crying and crying, and I manage to sputter out a wailed, “Now I don’t even want to go to breakfast anymore. I’m too fat and it’s just gonna make it worse! Boo hoo. Sob sob.” Disgusting.

And my mom says, while she is patting my head and trying to stop me from crying, “Well, honey, missing one meal isn’t going to make any difference. Now come on.”

That’s funny right?? I thought it was. Is that what you expected she would say? What would you say to someone? I don’t even know. But it always catches me off guard. The laughs ensued. She followed that up with the basics: You just lose the weight, cut out the junk and exercise. Not all crazy exercise like you do, just simple. Walk. Don’t eat potato chips. This is a blessing in disguise. Blah blah blah. I know it. Still stings to have to walk the walk.

I’m going to wrap this up. I want to be back later to update, but no guarantees. I get to take my son to a high school registration/orientation meeting today that I cannot miss. Got to start getting him ready for the big school. I am so excited for him! It’s the next step! Everyone be safe out there. The weather is acting crazy again, and you don’t want to miss anything new on my site of silliness!

So…Later Gators. After While Crocodile. Adios Amigo. See yuh. Buh Bye. Seriously, enough. Toodles. And Cheerio. That’s it I swear.

Permalink Leave a Comment

One winter snow storm, after weeks of unseasonably and globally warming temperatures, delivered as predicted!

January 13, 2012 at 12:40 am (Body and Brains!, Day to Day, Exercise, Losing the Fat, My Mom, Run. Walk. Weights., Unemployed Posts, Weather) (, , , , , )

No snow pictures yet. Maybe tomorrow. Please enjoy this decoration from the kids winter band program.

As for that snow prediction, you can thank me. Or blame me. Or call me a witch. I predicted this days and days ago. I told everyone who would listen that there will not be any snowfall, no matter what the news says, until the day I get called for an interview. I haven’t had one really important place to travel to for months. No place to go that would really matter if I couldn’t make it for any reason. I said the day that I have to go on my first job interview will be the day the snow comes to call on our humble community. Welp…they called me last Thursday to set me up for today at 9am and the weather men started predicting, “Snow Watch! Doom! 2012!” on Monday. It never fails. Monday Tuesday Wednesday, 50, balmy, sunny…Thursday: RAIN! SLEET! ICE! SNOW!! Turn off the lights.  Lock your doors. Leave town. Buy all the supplies at the CVS.  You can NOT escape SNOW in the Midwest in the WINTER! Seriously. I had to go to the CVS to get toilet paper and I kid you not, the cold case was completely empty. No milk, no eggs, no meats, butters, etc. And alot of the shelves looked all bare and picked over. Scary.

As for me, I really did have an interview today and I really did drive in the snow. But it was only going home. To make a boring story even less anticlimactic, it was just starting to mist a bit on the way in and it was lightly flaking when I left. However, as I got closer to home and side tracked towards my mom’s house in Beecher, which is more south than me, it really was coming down thick and wet and sticky. (I had also gotten another call from another place and I had to go fill out an app. Maybe two’s the charm?? We’ll see…) Then I decided to go see my mom. Cause I’m cool like that. And she did not disappoint.

I’m already feeling down in the dumps because of the weight issues, the job issues, the general lack of a life issues, and the fact that even though I think my interview went well, and I brought in all of the info that they asked for, and I got a mini tour of the place in addition to meeting HR and the managers, they still just thanked me for coming in and told me they would call or e-mail. I guess that’s how it goes, but I don’t know. I hate to jinx it by saying anything but I figure it’s after the fact so it probably doesn’t matter. And even though my mom knows all these things, because she read my last few posts, the first thing she said to me, the very first thing, and I am not exaggerating in any way, shape or form, when I walked into her house was, “Oh! You should have put your hair up instead of wearing it down like that. Oh it looks so messy! Pulled back would have been so much better!” And she made some hand gestures while pulling on her frosted scrags. Really mom?

Don’t worry, I said that right to her face. I even told her I was gonna write about our little visit. (Hi Mom! Hope that internet is back up and running so you can read this!) I even wrote down all the other gems she had to share with me because I didn’t want to deprive any of you, especially my sissy Amanda, of my mother’s supreme hilarity and lack of tact. I guess technically, her other comments were meant to be nice. But, well, I’ll let you guys judge that.

Let me just get my notes here. Ok. After she criticized my hair and made us coffee and put out some cookies, we tried to get her computer to work. No luck. As we sat down at the kitchen table, my mom picked up the cookies and said, “You probably don’t want these right? I’ll put them away to make it less tempting.” She had been reading my posts so she knew I probably wouldn’t want them but it was the only snack she had that goes with coffee. Then she said, kind of off-handed, “I expected you to be bigger.” I said, “What? What do you mean?”

“Oh well, the way you made it sound I expected you would come lumbering into my house looking like a big stuffed elephant like you put on your website. I was wondering, ‘how much weight did you gain in the last month?’ I mean, I just saw you.” While she’s telling me this she is also gesturing with her hands and kind of holding them out in front of her to indicate how “stuffed” she expected me to be. And she went on, “I would say you’re not like an elephant. More like a baby moose.”

Uh huh. I said, “Well geez mom, thanks. We were just at Cabela’s and the moose they had there was actually bigger than the elephant. So thanks a lot. I’m as big as a moose. That’s much better.”

Bring it home mom: “No, I said a baby moose.” Just holding her coffee cup, sitting across from me, drinking and comparing me to the wildlife. I stared at her for what seemed like a minute, and I really don’t remember if I was actually thinking anything. But for some reason when my mom says stuff like that it just makes me burst into laughter. I guess maybe because I never expect it. So I laughed and I said that I am writing all of this down so I don’t forget and I thanked her for giving me my next article here. Cause really, let’s face it now, some of these posts are turning into mini-novels already.

But back to Rita. She said, “See? What would you do if I didn’t give you something to write about?” Hmm. I just don’t know.

So that’s my mish mash story for today. Haven’t heard anything back from the interview. So I wait. I felt so bad I wasn’t even going to go exercise, which is exactly the time I should go. Thanks to a movie due back to the video store today, my unwillingness to drive on the unplowed streets where I live, and the fact that my daughter suggested it to begin with, we were able to sneak in almost an hour of walking, about 1.7 miles, in unshoveled snow. It’s like walking on sand, but in boots and jeans and coats and hats and gloves. It was actually quite fun and a pretty good work out. My legs were burning! And my calves are sore. But that makes FOUR days in a row. Now I need to go to bed because I am tired from the stress of worrying about everything and nothing.

I’ll throw in another animal shot to keep things even. I think they’re bucks, not moose, but you get the idea. And for those keeping count, my push up total still stands at about half of one. BUT, I was able to hover above the ground, in the down position for much longer than yesterday before my chubby gut hit the floor. Then I pushed myself back up and called it “one.” Have a good night.

Permalink 10 Comments

Doctor Rita has diagnosed my ailment!

December 23, 2011 at 9:45 am (Christmas Spirit, Day to Day, Losing the Fat, My Mom) (, , , , , , , )

After extensive research that included reviewing all my symptoms, observing my behavior, and a long wait in her brain surgeon’s office, she delicately broke the bad news to me that I was, what they like to call in the medical world: F. A. T.

Thanks Mom! And yes, that is a picture of a slug up above. It was crawling on our garage one balmy autumn morning as we have had quite the unusual temperate temperatures around here lately. So much so that slugs are actually slime-ing all over the buildings to remind me of my dread disease. I figured it was appropriate now that I am aware of the root of all my medical problems.

Believe it or not, it was pretty funny when she kindly said to me, “You know, all these problems, I think it’s just because, you know, you’re really starting to put on the weight…” As she trailed off while pointing to my overall fatness and touching her lower face and chin area at the same time, remarking, “You’re getting more chins than me…you should probably do something about that.” It really was hilarious. I was so surprised. Not shocked. Because she is right. I have kind of porked up these last few months despite my strict exercise program of working out once every two weeks or so. But it really wasn’t what I expected her to say. And it was so matter of fact that we just sat there, across from each other for a minute and then I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it. We were laughing like truly brain damaged people in the brain surgeon’s office over my giant fat body…I said, “Geez mom, way to break it to me gently: ‘Oh, by the way, you have more chins then a Chinese phone book, do something about that would ya…’ ” No offense intended to anyone, but that made us laugh even harder.

If you can’t count on your mom to give it to you straight who can you count on? So I weighed myself when I got home. It’s bad. And I just weighed myself today and I think it’s worse. I actually went to the gym too. Several times. So I am going with my original diagnosis which is a growing, but benign tumor that is adding weight to my body without my knowledge. Too bad the tumor is probably made of cookies and pizza and alcohol. Anyway, I got three days of exercise in last week and three days in this week, but I haven’t reduced my intake by enough to make me hungry and crabby. That’s how you know. Get ready for some crabby ass posts next week because it will NOT be pretty. That first week is going to SUCK. I hate starving myself but it seems to be the only way to jump start any kind of weight loss and to kill the taste for those delicious fatty, greasy, sugary, sweet, savory treats that are so available this time of year. I will only say that I have remained inside the 100’s weight-wise, but if I don’t stop the train now, I am going to careen off the track into the 200 pound valley of pain. It’s bad enough that my skin is stretching to its maximum limits. It’s letting loose and I can tell it wants to go all floppy. But I can’t be weighing more than my mother now so the end is near. Damn. Why does food have to taste so good??

Alright. Speaking of food, I have to go and have breakfast with my sister-in-law since it’s her birthday today. Happy Birthday Carole! Even though she doesn’t read this, but she would appreciate the shout out none the less. I will try to order healthy and prepare myself for the coming days. A lot of damage can be done when you give up and say, “What the hell.” I don’t want to have to lose any more weight than I already have on me.

So, to sum up: I am not dying of carbon monoxide poisoning. Not having strokes. Probably don’t have lupus. No MS or any one of the degenerative nerve diseases. No tumors. My mom has ruled all these serious illnesses out and has slapped me back to reality. My name is….and I am a fat ass.

I love you mom. See you in a few days.

 

Permalink 5 Comments

My momma done inter-veened me

July 12, 2011 at 6:20 pm (Day to Day, My Mom, Wasting Study Time Posts) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Too bad all we did was go to breakfast and take MORE distorted pictures. We were laughing like lunatics but at least I was out of the house and away from that cursed computer game. For the record, everything in that picture is extremely exaggerated EXCEPT for the hair. That’s really how big my mom’s hair is. It’s really getting out of hand.

So, THANK YOU MOM!! I will see you Thursday.

Besides I still have like, seven and a half hours before I can get my free spin! Loo-oo-oozer.

Since we were in the world we decided today is a good day to go get new hummingbird and regular-bird feeders. The ones we had were quite destroyed and no hummingbirds were coming anymore. Hopefully this will turn things around on the back patio.

We also got our boarder-dog, Juneau, some supplies. Yes, we have had a dog here for the last two weeks. He’s a good boy, but so furry. We gave him a nice bath and brushing this afternoon. The hair is endless. We’ve been brushing him every day and even though it looks like we brush off a smaller dog every night, by morning there’s more hair shedding out. What’s that? Well of course there’s pictures. Sillies.

We are like a nature center over here. I have lots of backyard animals. Hmmm. I’m sensing a new feature. To go along with all the other new features I never follow through with for more than a day or two. Let’s see if I can break the streak.

Ready. Set. Let’s go.

To the Wild!

Permalink 2 Comments

I believe we’ve solved Rita’s little pain problem

June 29, 2011 at 12:48 am (Day to Day, Flowers, My Mom) (, , , , )

Sometimes the solution is right under your nose. Or under your front window. In your “landscaping”.

Spent all day with mom waiting for the cable guy, running her errands and having some pizza. And the day before that trying to fix the cable. And a few days before that to get her bananas and bread and tea and stuff. We were supposed to go back on Thursday, but she thinks she’ll probably be ok now…”unless I totally wanted to come back with some chips and Twinkies??”

Uh, no.

Clarity. I should have checked that front flower bed a damn week ago.

Permalink 2 Comments

Next page »