Maxima Love

August 29, 2013 at 12:59 pm (Cartoons, Day to Day, Family, For Amanda, Maxima, Picture Posts, Posts In Pictures, Random Images, Thank You, Wasting Time In General) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

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That’s my big number. And we are on the way to the golden 200,000. I noticed that Maxima owners really love their car. Maybe it’s because they have been driving them for so long and for so many miles. I spend more money, and am willing to spend more money, to fix it than replace it. I have the 2004 version. (The best shape I think. Very “Maxima”.) Technically, and for full disclosure, I am not the original owner. That would be my BF. And he bought it brand spanking new. But we swapped cars a few years back, and my trade was destroyed in a terrible, totaling, highway accident (no injuries except the car) so I am claiming the Maxima as my own forever and always.

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That’s the whole car. It needs some cosmetic work and it makes some strange noises, but it starts and takes me to work every day. If you love your Maxima, and have some time to burn, send me a comment, or a pic if you want. I know you are out there because I see you driving around in your Maxima, with the same look I have when I drive around in mine. For the most part. When I’m not dog-ass tired or coming home from work at 2 am. But I digress.Maxima people look at other Maxima people. Probably just to compare cars, but whatever. I’m not going to go into the whole big thing. Send me a comment!! We are so aggressive too. Just do it. Please. Anyway…

Let’s try to shake this site up today. My sister, the self-titled queen of all things interesting, decided that my site is too boring for her. So I am starting with fast cars (because that’s a huge reason for loving the Maxima in the first place–speed) and continuing with exciting, upcoming, posts such as, death. And pornography. I’m not kidding. I said death. With pictures. And porn. With pictures. Check back in a few if you are not automatically getting e-mails or following me. And if not, why not? Take the time and do it now. E-mail to the top right, or follow by clicking the link for it. Easy and one less thing to keep track of. I will come to you! Now that sounds exciting all by itself doesn’t it? But right now, I have other pressing matters to attend to that cannot wait. I must go to the local public perishables and supply institution. For long term staple items and body products. Bare bottom body products. Can I even type such scandal? Then I have to visit my pharmaceutical connection. I need to pick up some “medications” there. The good sh*t, that messes with your heart. Then I have to get ready to meet the brain trusts at the education center who will be teaching my children life-saving survival tactics for an ever changing, future based, random, potentially dangerous, world, that they have to be prepared for at all times. Their regimen includes hands on training, as well as written doctrine and instruction. Do not tell me that my life is boring. It is a daily grind to stay alive. And no one, I repeat, no one, gets out alive.

So don’t worry so much. Here’s some of that education in action. A picture that just sums it all up. Left on a note pad, on the coffee table, for us mere humans to decipher as we wish. Shake up the status quo every now and then. Analyze everything, and nothing, at the same time, and draw your own conclusions on how to proceed. Keep moving forward with as much kindness, and humor, as you can muster, and you should be just fine. Deep stuff. Random and hilarious. Like life itself. Later.

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When last you heard from me, I was on my way to school…

August 5, 2009 at 10:37 am (Celebrity, Day to Day, Drunk Posts, Exercise, Movies, Phone Camera, Pictures, School News, Things The Kids Like, TV Shows, Video) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

…with high hopes for the rest of the evening. When suddenly…Tequila! (And that was TWO days ago.)

I did go to school. I got the “pre-heads-up” to the actual “heads-up” classes I have next week. Signed some paperwork. Got some questions answered. Payed for classes. Bought more books. Drove home excited as hell, but unaware of the complicated nature of what I am about to embark upon.

I have three books and a syllabus right now, and I have three more books to buy. Definitely the most I have needed so far. When I trained for EMT I was on an adrenaline rush for hours after every single class, for like 4-6 months. It was crazy. And I have that same crazy feeling just looking at these books. Two years and god knows how many hours are about to go into this program, but I am ready. I’m not sure my body can take the intensity. I had trouble sleeping before, but I guess that will just help me on the job!  I talked so much on the phone to the BF just driving home from a pre-class class, that I, “low-battery-powered-off”, the cell phone. The damn thing drained out good. First time I talked to the cut-off. Even after I plugged it back in it wouldn’t turn on for a little while.

So I take a closer look at this new book. Calculating With Confidence. Drug calculations, measurements, math conversions…OMG, it looks hard. Drug labels, syringes, pills, liquids, fractions, decimals, cc. mL. mg. oz. You need: Aspirin gr 10 p.o. q4h p.r.n. for pain. You have: Drug label, that suddenly makes no sense whatsoever. And tell me how much, with how much diluent, time of day, route of administration, but don’t forget who you are giving it to, how much they weigh, what else they are taking; now mark it on the drawing, and don’t “F” it up because you could kill someone…. I’m paraphrasing…but that’s the idea. Once you take off the plastic shrink wrap, the front cover has a skull and crossbones on it. They don’t want you to see that until it’s too late. And you thought that the nurse handing you two Tylenol in the hospital after dinner didn’t require any skill. HA!

The amazing thing is, that in 2 months, that book is going to make perfect sense, and I’ll be calculating in my sleep (not literally), but for now…we better go to Pepe’s and think about the future.

So the guy that has been working there since he was a child, really, (I know, because we as a family, collectively have been going there for his whole life basically, I even remember a time when he was out in the parking lot trying to drive off in his older brothers car…he got in trouble for that…) anypepestoryway…this kid/adult now (Ricky? The name would not come to me, don’t judge, I’m approaching 40, but Mason and Stevie both agree, yes, on the name) made me a killer, and I mean KILLER margarita. I took 4 drinks and I was feeling the heat. By one third gone, I was TWO thirds gone. I wish I could say I was joking, because I was getting “altered” and fast. (My teeth were numb and I tried to walk out of the clear glass panel NEXT to the door, when I left the restaurant) I ate some chips and salsa and some shrimp cocktail on crackers and a tamale and a chili rellano but food was failing me fast, so I concentrated on finishing the medium margarita that, based on my morning calculations of how-long-it-takes-my-body-to-filter-out-the-alcohol (years of research have perfected this system) there must have been at least, 5 shots of tequila in my drink. I can say that with confidence because I was still slightly drunk at 7:30 in the morning. And I even tried to move the alcohol along with activity and oxygen before I fell into dreamy-drunky sleep the night before but sometimes you can’t keep a good buzz down, or up, or whatever. End of story.

I dragged myself up, took out the garbage, diluted my remaining blood level of tequila with coffee, and watched Regis & Kelly with Pat Tomasulo subbing for Regis (!!) I wrote it on the calendar! Busy schedule, yeah yeah, I’ll be working soon enough and you’ll miss these long, rambling posts. (More Pat Stuff)

The Pat Down. For your enjoyment. And since this is Chicago, we have 2 newspapers…here’s the Trib version. Ok, I think I’m done now.

Then I really pushed the limit with a five mile run. Five point one something something, to be exact. I ran the water bill to the Village Hall, which maps out at 5+ miles. MapMy Run.com. 30 minutes there. 34 minutes back. One hour, four minutes. I will take it. I ran on the sidewalks. Concrete, hard on the shins with lots of hills, (dang Park Forest doesn’t have a completely flat spot 10 steps in a row), and chock full of tripping hazards. Broken cement, uneven, crooked, weeds, rocks…I’m not sure what the village is doing all the time. It seems like they dig holes in random spots all around town just so there’s something for the kids to fall into. At any rate. I was done for the day. Kids got home about 3 ish and we ate ice cream and talked about all they did last week. Stevie made cupcakes! First time on her own and no crunchy ones from egg shells! (So far) So proud. Then dinner and a movie. (Burgers on the grill and Smokey and the Bandit from Netflix) unpack the bags, go to bed and poof! Here we are. Today.

I’m going to skip the run today, maybe go take a walk at the nature trail if I can get the kids out there. Mason has grass to finish and we are open. I have the pictures you have been waiting for…I didn’t forget, it’s just time and energy and getting them off the cell phone. I even have video! The kids wanted to play in the water, but we don’t have a pool. We have a hose. So they filled up larger, plastic, Tupperware bowls and put their faces in them or dumped them over their heads. They would swim in a wet sponge if they could. Then they played water-hose-jump-rope, which is actually pretty funny. So that’s coming too! And all that other stuff I said I had…Remember my theme: Everything is always two days ago!

Cupcakes!

Half with sprinkles, half without! Tasty!

Half with sprinkles, half without! Tasty!

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