My One Summer Butterfly
Hello and thank you to all my new friends and followers! I’m not sure what has changed in these last few days but I am glad for the chance to expand my world and to become a part of someone else’s. Maybe all those storms that blew through the middle of America shook up the airwaves somehow and blew out the dust of our random lives and we all ended up in fresh spots to wait out the winter that’s looming ahead. Maybe it’s just a fluke.
Either way, here we all are and it’s good. Now on to my picture story: All those wild flowers in front of the house, that everyone else calls weeds, and I only managed to attract this one, big, beautiful, patterned butterfly. And he was late to boot. Showed up in August/Sept. But look at that photo. It’s nice, right? Perfect American image. Not planned, I swear. We keep the flag up all the time, and I was taking pictures too fast to frame this on purpose, because he kept flying around and landing anywhere that was away from me and my phone. Oh yeah, did I mention that picture was taken with my phone?? Just a smidge more bragging on the G4 even if I have to do it myself. Here are some more pictures of that butterfly below. All the flowers are gone now and it’s too cold for flyers. I’m just gonna start posting all my pictures as fast as I can without any central theme. Maybe I will just start at the first one and run down the line. I know I’ve said this before, but this time, this time, I swear I mean it. My time is really tight now because my new job is trying to kill me with paperwork. Nursing at it’s finest I swear. And I suppose I really really have to go back to school. As usual I find myself to be the least educated person in the crowd. Again. I swear, I keep saying I swear, and FYI for the kiddies out there: School NEVER ends. Love it. Tolerate it. Keep at it. You will be a student forever. Even when you work you still have to keep plugging away at the next big thing. Or little thing. It doesn’t matter. Forward roll. Oh Geez. As usual, I have run off the thought track and I wanted to, needed to, get some sleep tonight. Like I was saying, about the pictures, I can’t even remember why I took some of these or if I had any idea of what to write, so this should actually be kind of fun. Random. Just like me and my life and my personal beliefs. We live in a random world and I am good with that. Now, what was I talking about again? Butterflies. And flowers. Later.
Fall Flower Close Ups For My Family On Friday
I am really working the “F” thing. Sorry for that. But I mean, what the hell. I have the pictures. Now I have to go to work but still try to stay relevant in the blogger world. If all goes according to plan, this will be my last day as a floor nurse and a PM shifter. It’s kind of slippery to slide work news in between fancy flower pictures, but, bombshell info, I will be switching to days next week and also becoming the manager of my unit. Pause for applause. Thank you. And did I mention that it’s Monday through Friday with no weekends, except for on-call every 4 weeks?? Taking the next steps in an upward position. Kind of scared actually, but I think I can do this job. And I think I can do it well. It’s a boatload more responsibility dealing with patients, families, corporate and state regulations and regulators. My new boss, who used to do the job that I will be doing, has been asking me every few days for the last few weeks if I still want to do this. Will I sign? Am I sure? Not in a negative way, but in the positive way to be sure that I don’t change my mind. How bad can it be when you have the support of the previous job holder? I type, so naively. My coworkers are already calling me boss, and I have been working on a clever post-it note system of employee relations that I want to incorporate for when I have to discipline or encourage any of my former co-workers. Everyone loves post-it notes, and wouldn’t it be less of a blow to get yelled at via post-it note? I think so. I’m going to color coordinate and everyone gets to pick their own. It’s also interactive! And that’s all there is to it right? Hahahaha. Soooo delusional. Anyway, more on that later. I will also be going back to school. Corporate has already heavily advised me that it would be a good idea. So, as usual, let’s jump in the pool, both feet forward and off the ground. No turning back, cause it’s too late when you’ve already signed on the dotted line. In even more news, I have to get my first mammogram next week. Also something I am nervous about. So, welcome again, !, and happy October. We have job news, school news and boob news. This site really has everything! Please share and share and share! Now, let’s see if any of my family still reads this. Just kidding. I’m gonna call all those crazies personally in the next hour. But in the meantime, here’s another picture. It’s orange. Later.
So When You’re Near Me, Darling Can’t You Hear Me? S.O.S.
The love you gave me, nothing else can save me, S.O.S.! When you’re gone, how can I, even try, to go on?
Oh the drama. September is over. My favorite month. I’m going to bookend this month with one last post. I think I hit the significant dates though: 2, 10, 30. Hmmm. Maybe I should play the lottery. That would be a nice October. Anyway, I really am bummed that September is over because now that means we have to get ready for the long, brisk, shuffle into winter and start praying for an early spring.
There is football though. And I was contemplating just making this site a homage to football players and their personal bodies, you know, muscles, hair, bootys, etc., and of course their teams and stats and all that, blah blah, along with a feature like, “Arms Of The Week” or something along those lines, where I could feature a player of the week. Body wise, it’s still Clay Matthews for me.
But for pure NFL power, no one beats Peyton Manning.
He is my all time favorite, and he’s practically a super hero this year. I think they fixed him up with bionic parts the year before and he needed last season to reboot, like a RoboCop, except for football, where he is throwing passes like bullets. He is a man on fire. And of course I have missed every single one of his games so far due to a little thing I like to call, work. It’s all work it seems like. Except that’s not really true either. I have done lots of stuff, and this month literally feels like it flew past on fast forward, and I did not type one word about it here. Too busy living I guess.
The truth is, I feel adrift in this bloggy world. And kind of in real life. No direction. I have potential work changes on the horizon, but I really can’t say anything yet. One, because it’s all confidential and nurse-type stuff. And two, I really don’t know anything beyond a couple of interviews and the occasional reference to the job at hand.
At any rate, I will find my way. I always do. And while I’m waiting, today in particular, since I was off, I made my daughters favorite “big-pot” meal: Jambalaya. It’s a mix of many recipes and my own spin, but I try to stay as true as I can to my oldest, and best-good friend Beverly’s, original recipe that she kind of gave me many many years ago. She said it’s not really a write-down kind of thing as it is made in her family the old fashioned way. One person knows how and just makes it. She’s true blood Creole and French from the swamps of Louisiana. And when I made it for her to judge my skills, she tasted it and said, and I quote, “Hmmp. Not bad.”
I will take it. Also, I have been drinking since 2. While cooking. And listening to really really loud music. It helps while you are cutting up the 50 ingredients that this meal requires in order to be, “not bad”. My drink of choice was Redd’s Apple Ale. Here’s a pic with the chicken, because everyone likes the chicken.
This is the apple beer with the really stupid commercials where they throw an apple at someone’s head. Terrible. But soooo tasty. Seriously. I wanted Bloody Mary’s but I forgot to buy the V8 when I was at the store. And we already had the beer. FYI, if you like apple juice, you will like this beer. It tastes like alcoholic apple juice with a bit of beer flavor. I have also tried Angry Orchard apple ale, or, I think it’s called hard cider. That’s even more apple juicy and less beery. I have no picture of that one though. You will have to take my word. Not bad. See how I wrapped that right up? The BF is home now and I am cooking up a little garlic bread to go with the Jambalaya, so I need to get off this.
Oh, one more thing. Thank you loyal readers, followers, or general browsers! Whoever you are. Even though I haven’t posted but 3 little blurbs all month, I still have 10-20 people checking in and hoping for something great every day. I really don’t know how that is possible, but one of these times I hope I can deliver on this optimistic, anonymous vote of confidence. The BF is opening wine so I really really have to go.
New kind we are trying tonight. I picked it because of the 2010 year. I looked it up. It was a good year for wine in general. I will let you know. However, I probably won’t be able to post anything later due to “intake” issues, but there is always tomorrow. Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow. Your only a day away….Cheesy Broadway ending. Later.
Smokin’ In The Boys Room
And by “boys room”, I mean the outside. While I work this weekend, my BF has decided to do many manly things, like, work on his motorcycle, cut large tree limbs with a chainsaw, and smoke much meat. It sounds like so much fun I just wish I could have had these days off to be here for all of it. Ahem. No, really. (Not really). I like to spend my holiday weekends working and taking care of sick people and listening to their families tell me what a crap job I’m doing. It’s what I got into this profession for. That rewarding feeling of spending more hours with other people’s families instead of my own. Without sarcasm, I really do like my job. It’s just some families make it very difficult to keep calm. The patients are fine. It’s just the families sometimes. Still, I think it will be better than the manual labor that needs to be done here. Sweaty, with heavy lifting. Oh wait, that’s my job too. Ha. OK. Enough. That’s my work rant. Back to the meat!
Apparently this is stuff you need. Along with a starter tube thing that gets the coals going, a temp gauge, (actually two temp gauges, one for the cooker and one for the meat), water for steam, spices, herbs, liquids, “rubs”, side dishes, buns, etc…and of course: The Meat. This will all cost you approx. 90 dollars or so. If you had to buy your own smoker, that could be an extra 100-500 dollars, depending on quality and advanced smoking technology. Or something. This smoker in the picture was the gift the BF got for working so hard at his job for this many, past 15 years. It seems like it’s nice smoker machine. I have just been informed that the meat is at 162 degrees. The number we are looking for is 190 I believe. We are doing pulled pork as the maiden smoking. I keep typing “we”, but I literally have done NOTHING except take the pictures and type this. Soon, I will get dressed and leave, so I won’t even be here for the big finish. But, of course I have a preview. Please feast your eyes below on three hunks of pure animal flesh, cooking and smoking, slowly, and at a certain temperature, for maximum tenderness and pullability. It really smells good too:
Two on top, one below. That sounds like a good name for a band or a book title. The key to cooking this right, I am told, is slow and low. Also, coincidentally a good band name or book title. At any rate, what we want is to put it in our mouths and not even have to chew. The meat should literally pull apart and melt like butter on our palates and slide juicily and effortlessly down our throats to our waiting tummies without any pesky chewing involved. But usually it’s on a bun with sauce, so please, family, while I am gone, chew a little, please. Bread mostly needs to be chewed, somewhat, to break it down. Then swallow. No need to ruin a good weekend with “Heimlich’s” or “ambulances” or “hospitals” or “morgues”. Thank you.
Thus ends the meat post for today. I hear and smell lots of manly things going on in the neighborhood today, so I need to get the hell out of here! The outside temp is up to 75 degrees. Sunny and beautiful for the Midwest. The meat temp is at a cool 165. The BF is cutting sticks with the chainsaw. The boy/son is playing XBox in his room enjoying none of the outside weather. The daughter is still at my sissy’s house and will prob go from there to her cousins house to spend the night, after she stops here first to eat meat. She loves meat. Yes, I see what I typed there, but I’m leaving it. It’s too early (for me) to try and fix the innuendo. She’s 14 for cry-yi. Some girls are salads and try a vegetarian phase, not mine. She is steak all the way.
Let them eat meat! And don’t forget it’s Memorial Weekend. Hug a vet! Thank a soldier while you are grilling those hot dogs and drinking that beer! Even if you just send up a big toast and a cheer into the great unknown. It’s all good karma to the universe. Later.
The Pain And Poop Principle
A principle is a law or rule that has to be, or usually is to be followed, or can be desirably followed, or is an inevitable consequence of something, such as the laws observed in nature or the way that a system is constructed. The principles of such a system are understood by its users as the essential characteristics of the system, or reflecting system’s designed purpose, and the effective operation or use of which would be impossible if any one of the principles was to be ignored.
Examples of principles:
- a descriptive comprehensive and fundamental law, doctrine, or assumption
- a normative rule or code of conduct,
- a law or fact of nature underlying the working of an artificial device.
The above is literally copied and pasted from Wikipedia because I am lazy and I wanted to make sure I had the right “principle.” I will try not to make this long and drawn out because I am leaving in about an hour to celebrate the BF’s Birthday!! I have gathered a rag-tag bunch of friends and family to come out to dinner with us and have drinks and cake!
Happy Birthday darling!!! Sorry I included your birthday wish in a post with poop! But that’s why we love each other so much right?!? Hey…there’s gonna be drink-ing…Sing-song…
Anyway. It’s also my day off. And what I have learned from my latest week of workhell is that when your body fails, and then as it tries to recover itself, life pretty much comes down to two, basic, all-consuming issues:
Pain and Poop.
Do you have it? Do you not have it? How can we get rid of it if you do? How can we get it going if we need to?
Just think about it for a minute and you’ll see what I mean. Like, really think about it. Insert the pain and poop theory into the above “principle” definition. You see? We, us, my people, are obsessed with their pain and with their poop. And one usually causes the other. In any combination. Regardless of whether its a problem of going or not going. Pain because you can’t go. Pain because you go too much. Pain meds that constipate. Pain meds that liquidate. It’s a horrible, never-ending cycle and a delicate balance that takes up, at least, half my time on the job. Maybe even three-fourths. It can never be “just right”. I don’t think I ever posted about this, but my first day on the job, I had to give a rectal suppository. And I haven’t looked back since. Every day is just a new spin on the same two problems.
And here is an update before this post even makes it to actual publication: The above was written on Monday. Today is Wednesday. I have so little time now, that I can’t even ramble on properly, the way I like to. I have to divvy it up now into days and days. Ridiculous. But. Here’s the wrap of Monday: We had a fun time at the mini-party! That day is over. We went, we ate, we drank, we had cake, we had more drinks, everyone went home. Happy birthday again, my darlingwhoputsupwithsomuchandhardlyevercomplains! Love and kisses! Tuesday, yesterday, Stevie and I chilled at the house while Mason went to school. The girl was not feeling good and she needed a day to re-coup and re-group. I went to work in the afternoon. Wednesday, today, (technically it is today, as it is 1:24 am) I just got off work and I wanted to finish this post before the week is out. And luckily it will actually tie in with what I was saying earlier.
Besides all the normal, routine things that get done on a daily basis, my work has an extra book of things that also need to be done, or things that need to be clarified or scheduled or fixed, or whatever. Tonight there were 5, FIVE, separate notes about someone NOT having a BM. That’s a “Bowel” “Movement” for the uninitiated. Luckily, two of my peeps resolved the situation on their own before I got there. One, who wasn’t as lucky, complained to the doc and won herself a grand prize Fleet Enema! King MD Order to get yourself into the express lane on the way to Poopville. The sad part, is that she wanted the enema. They always want the enema. So guess what I had to do? I mean, someone has to give the enema. And that person is usually the nurse.
Or so I thought. Dun dun dun. Surprise ending!!
HA. See, not where you thought it was going right? I know. I did that on purpose. So funny at two in the morning. Anypoo…(see what I did there? heehee) turns out, just as I was going in to give ye olde enema, the fine lassy had worked the issue out for herself. The BM had arrived, and just in time. It wasn’t perfect and it wasn’t soft, but it was enough to change her mind, take the lactulose liquid that had also been prescribed, and wait until morning when the rest will probably work its way out. Literally. The option to have the enema is still on the table so it’s a win-win situation all around. Except maybe for me. Butt, whatever, I’m cool with it. Whatever route I have to use to get the medication in is fine with me just as long as I do get it in there so it can start working.
And that’s where I think I’ll end this tonight. I apologize ahead of time to all those that will be reading this in the morning. Potentially with breakfast. It’s a fact of life and if you have learned nothing, or taken nothing from this entire posting, at least keep this small bit of info or advice in the back of your mind: Have a bit of fruit with that breakfast. Something citrusy, if possible. Maybe something warm and fibery too, if you can work it in. It’ll really help keep things regular and moving. And as human machines, that’s all we can ask for.
Also, stay tuned for my next, equally exciting, medical article, featuring the two most popular oral medications, beloved by almost all of the patient population in healthcare. Can you fathom a guess? Are you over 50? If not, you have no clue. If you are, you are going to be offended at first. Then you are going to say to yourself, “But I do have a scratchy throat and it keeps me up at night.”
The correct answer to the question of popular medicine is, ding ding ding:
Cough syrup and sleeping pills! Truth. If I was a rich girl I would buy as much stock as I could in any company that produces cough syrup, sleeping pills, laxatives, diarrhea medicine, enemas and narcotic pain medications. If you have some extra cash, there you go. My totally unprofessional, non-educated economy/stock market lesson. For freeeeeeee…..We also watched Bedtime Stories today. Always end it on a positive note! Later!
A photo so nice, I'm using it twice! Besides, is it not perfect?? You are welcome!
Oh Pardon Me, My Polish Seems To Be Showing
I cannot believe I almost missed Fat Tuesday. Or Paczki Day as some of us more ethnically challenged folks call it. This job stuff is really getting in the way of me being able to process any other information in the greater world outside of myself and my immediate life. I am living hour to hour and not the good hours. I sleep for most of the day hours and then if I work one extra day/night in my work week, I get all confused about if it’s Sunday or Monday. True story. I could not remember what day it was yesterday. Felt like Sunday, was actually Monday. And since the kids were off school, there was no normal week-day structure to help me out. And even though today is Tuesday, I was unable to drag my ass out of bed at 6am to get the kids up for school. Thank goodness the BF gets up at the same time. I was out out out. Plus…I have a burning chest cold or something that I probably got from one of my people coughing in my face. Didn’t know it was coming. Couldn’t get out of the way fast enough when it did. Gross I know, but it’s a hazard of the job. You just try not to think about it and realize that there are greater things that can kill you faster. But truthfully, the odds are in your favor that you’ll live.
Anyhow, besides being Fat Tuesday, it’s also my Mother’s Birthday.
Happy Birthday Rita!! Shout out to the lady that gave me life! Love and hugs and kisses!
Since I missed her actual family party, I thought I’d take her to breakfast this morning, but sadly, I slept right through anything that would be considered “morning”. Eleven-thirty is still technically before the afternoon. But it’s too late for breakfast. She is the one who reminded that today is Paczki Day when I called her to tease her with that free meal. I didn’t believe her until I looked at the calendar and saw that tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. For me, time seems to be moving fast and slow at the same time these days. Irritating and confusing.
At any rate, I was able to shake off the sleepies, put on real clothes and venture forth into the world to get a big fat, fatty dinner to cook and buy myself some of the best Paczki’s I could find at the local Jewel. We ended up having spinach and artichoke dip with pasta and chicken and wine and our delicious, thick, doughy doughnuts for dessert. And we will probably eat them for breakfast tomorrow too. We aren’t really big on the religious aspect of the day, more so just the eating part. Sinners everywhere I tell ya. But we did manage to get the last package of chocolate covered ones with creme filling! We had to stalk the display table and stand watch from the produce section because another lady and her daughter had them in their hot little hands while talking on a cell phone to someone about how they had just gotten the last package of chocolate paczki’s, and did whoever they were talking to want them or not?? Apparently it was a no because I suddenly saw them both walk back out of the store through the in door and me and my daughter swooped in and snatched them up! It’s a dog eat dog world out there when it comes to donuts most people eat only once a year.
Of course I wanted to get this typed and posted on the actual day, but alas, it is not to be. Midnight, one am, is not too bad though, I guess. I’m still up anyway. I see many late nights to come in my very near future. I’m off today, or was off today, Tuesday, and I will be off tomorrow, on Wednesday. Then when I go in to work on Thursday afternoon, they are basically throwing me to the wolves. Solo. On my own. No more orientation. No more preceptor. Training day is over. It’s going to be me and my patients. And probably lots of overtime. When I do get to leave and go home, some time Thursday night, hopefully before midnight, (pleasepleaseplease let everything go good and smooth with no admissions pleasepleaseplease) then I get to go back on Friday and do it again. I’ve noticed after about 3 to 4 days I finally start remembering the people, their meds, their personal likes or dislikes, etcetera etcetera, and the job becomes a hair bit easier. Luckily I will have ALL my future days to learn the people. Then thankfully, blessedly, it will be my weekend off. Two days to re-coupe, re-boot, and return to the anxiety show. If I can make it here, truly, then I can make it anywhere. That’s what all the other nurses I encounter tell me and they seem to have a confidence in me that I may not have in myself just yet. Most everyone has been helpful. Some have been wary. Some aren’t talking much. And some are warming up to me more and more every day that I keep showing up. But nobody acts like they want me to fail. In 13 short days I feel like I may be a part of something bigger than just a “job”. Or it could be that I just haven’t quit. She’s scrappy, this one. Hardy har har.
So, in the end, wish me stable patients with normal labs and no emergencies. Wish me a steady and organized pace at which to work in. Wish me NO admissions until next week so I can at least have two days of solo time without any extra work to worry about messing up. Wish me good weather to drive through in those late nights when I finally do get to go home. And throw me just a small wish for a little luck to get me through the rest of it. It took a lot of school and a lot of sacrifice and time to get this, exactly what I wanted. That’s what my son said to me on Monday when I found out about my new solo status. I wanted to cry. But he said, “Isn’t this what you wanted mom? Isn’t this what you were going for? You should be happy!” You know it baby. I am happy. And I’m still scared too. But not nearly as much as I was. Yesterday was my final swimming lesson and in 2 days I’m going to jump in the deep end, both feet first, and as far out as I can go without a life preserver. Even if it takes me longer than the others, I know I can make it to the other side. And just in case that last bit of writing got to be a little too much “King of the World” or “I Believe I Can Fly” inspirational mushy mush, here’s a picture of those Paczki’s I talked about earlier, and really, the star of the entire posting day!
Mmmm…Donuts.
This Might Take A Little Adjustment
Training for the job and actually doing the job are definitely two different things. And then doing it at night takes it to a whole other level I didn’t even know about. I guess I have been lucky? Or unlucky? But I have only worked the day shift, and never weekends, pretty much my whole life. In an office. Without any inherent danger or threat to life, for me or the people I work with. Now I am in a job where I actually get to help people. But consequently, I can also hurt them, so I need to be clear and focused.
Now I have this second shift thing going that takes me from the chaos of the day people to the relative calm of the night people. We are the transition group. Everybody’s here! Tick tock. Everybody’s gone! Tick tock. Time to go outside and drive home! The best part is that I don’t have to get up early the next day because I start in the afternoon!! Oh wait. Yes I do. I have kids. Things to be thankful for today: Not a school day. No bowling this morning.
I was wise to start on the weekend because I am definitely going to need some adjustment time. I was planning on working until 11. Get home by midnight or so. And still be able to get up at 6 with the kids. And I probably can do that. After I get used to being butt-ass tired when I walk out of work. And because I will be able to go right back to bed after they leave. Crikey! My feets hurt!! My eyes hurt! I was hungry and thirsty and had to pee. And truthfully, I didn’t really do anything last night. It took me about 5 hours or so, to get more comfortable and not feel so “new”. I imagine today will be better. The time will go faster. My contribution will be greater. But hopefully my feet and eyes won’t hurt as bad because I am wearing my old comfy shoes instead of the ridiculous new ones I bought (they’re good but not ready yet for my tender, inexperienced feet) and I won’t have been up since 6 am.
I only have one uniform right now and it’s in the wash process so here’s two funny stories and then I am getting the hell off this computer. One. The weather is trying to F with me. I get out of work to a fairly clear crisp night, with my contacts rolling all over the place, but adjusting to drive mode, when it starts to drizzle. Then sprinkle, then rain, then downpour, then snow and rain, and snow and rain and snow and rain, and all the while, I’m doing 60/65 on the expressway and jack holes are still trying to pass me. My contacts get sticky and dry the later it gets and the more my eyes have to move around in my head. For a while it was really hard to see. It’s like my worst nightmare, being tired and my eyes hurt and my feet hurt and having to drive at night in some kind of sleet storm. But then as I got closer to home, the weather decided rain was good enough and stayed with that. I guess that’s not really funny, in a laughing way, but I thought it was kind of cruel and fitting at the same time. No job to full time job. Starting right now. You get to work days and days in a row and drive home in crappy dark cold weather because you’re going to need the experience anyway so why wait?
The other funny story, although in reflection may not be as funny to you as it is to me, is really more observational and field related. As a student nurse, I noticed at our clinical sites that all the nurses in the break rooms would be wolfing down their lunch or breakfast or whatever food they had. Like, really shoveling it in. Talking fast and cramming food into their mouths while fiddling with their phones or reading something. Or just sitting there. Staring into space and eating fast without saying anything. I remember one particular woman who was stabbing stabbing stabbing at a salad with her fork, holding the Tupperware bowl she brought it in right under her chin, and talking, reading and checking messages all at the same time. I was very impressed but also a little grossed out. It happened in the lunchrooms and the cafeterias, younger or older. Same hunched, feral look about them or glassy eyed distance. I remember thinking to myself, “Damn. I don’t know why people eat like that. Geez, take a minute so you don’t choke. It cannot be that serious.” Well. HA. HA. HA. HA. Jokes on me. I know now.
As you may or may not know, I have a problem eating when I am nervous, and yesterday was no exception. I had coffee and some toast (zero sodium) in the morning, and a fruit snack pack on the drive over because I didn’t want to go into low sugar shock walking around. Usually nerves will keep me upright and alert and that was working until about 6 pm. I left my water in my bag because I wasn’t sure about drinking it on the floor. I brought way to much crap and had no where to put it. So it all got locked into a med room that I don’t have keys for yet. I forgot my breath mints in the bag. I had to pee. And I was starving by 7. We were supposed to go to lunch then, but it got delayed until 8. I still had to pee. I was thirsty and dehydrating. When my preceptor said we could go to lunch and handed me the keys to the med room, I practically sprinted to the door and to the break room. I grabbed all my crap, walked fast to the stairs, pushed into the bathroom, peed AND drank water from my bottle like a dying person, on the toilet. Sorry, but it’s true. Washed my hands, went to a table, pulled out everything to get to the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I made on a whim right before I left (thank god) and shoved as much of it into my mouth as I could without choking. If it weren’t for the extra large bread I made it on, that kind of stuck out of the top of the sandwich bag when I opened it, I might have eaten the plastic it was wrapped in. I alternated chugging water and cramming sammy. That sounds like a rock band. Chugging Water and The Crammin’ Sammy’s. HA. The other girl that was sitting there barely even looked at me. She was staring into space spooning soup into her mouth very still and quiet, but constant and steady. In fact the only thing moving was her arm and mouth. It is amazing. The mystery is solved. Very little time and very big hunger and thirst. While still trying to go to the bathroom and take care of anything personal you need to do, in 30 minutes or less. These are my people now. I am one of them. You all have a great weekend and watch that Super Bowl for me and eat lots of crap and drink lots of alcohol. But be safe. I get to work! Later.
It’s Not Just Another Day
It’s my day OFF!!
Finally! I can say stuff like that again!
In case you’ve missed all my increasingly depressing and dreary postings in the last few months, I have been on a full time job search for a job of any time. And all my hard work has finally paid off. I didn’t want to jinx anything by declaring myself employed until I actually signed papers and got a start date. That would be yesterday. First day, all official like. Signed, payrolled, name-tagged, uniformed, bio-scanned, physicaled, TB’d, and scheduled up. I have today off and then I work all weekend and next week and so on and so on for as long as they let me. I have a full time schedule with full time pay and benefits in a place I consider to be pretty awesome so far. Everything I wanted and a little bit more. I’m sorry, ahead of time, but if you ask where or any other details, I have to say that I can’t answer. It’s policy not to broadcast anything over the internet, and I wouldn’t do it anyway. But know that it’s great and I am happy! When I see you in person, I’ll gush and gush, as you know I can! For now let’s just say I have a job and I can start paying back the cost of my education and then some.
That picture above is the first specific nurse related newspaper/journal/magazine that I have received as a new RN. I was pretty excited to see my name on it and to be included in the nursing community. It’s the small things. And it’s perfect for today! I wish the weather was a bit better but as long as there’s no snow I am happy with it. And, in case you were wondering, my BP issue is still happening but the work doc cleared me, and gave me some tips to help me keep it down. Turns out, I may have been sabotaging myself with all the water I was trying to drink. I will be asking my doctor today about that in addition to the low sodium diet. It’s very confusing and there are no clear answers. It’s good because I will be even more compassionate now for my patients who take BP meds, or anything really, and I will try just a little bit harder to explain how they work so they never have to feel confused or frustrated like I do. And I received a lot of training for these medication things! Just goes to prove that you really do learn something new every day!
Alright, I need to go get some new shoes I can walk in, hit the doctor’s office and then head over to the school to see what place my daughter gets in the science fair this year. Last year was a first place so the bar is high! I have pics of the project and it’s safe to put up now that the competition is over. More later!
I can finally use my cup!!!
It’s officially official!! I am an RN!!!
I passed NCLEX and even got my official letter in the mail telling me I passed and would I please fill out this one last form and send 50 more dollars to the state and we will issue a brand new fancy official nurse license!!! GLADLY I will. I had that check written and mailed within an hour!
I took the test at the end of July, got my internet result in 2 days and got the official letter last week. I haven’t posted because, one, the shock and numbing disbelief that it could really be done and true still hasn’t worn off, and two, the BF was on vacation so we took that week to do TONS of back breaking, hard labor on the house and catch up with all the chores we have neglected up to this point. I cannot begin to tell you how good (and suspicious) it feels not to have ANYTHING to study for. Literally. Nothing. I am done with that whole part. Now it’s just adding letters to my name and RN status. I will just become MORE of a nurse, with specialized skills and advanced degrees. That feels so good to type.
Anyway, the house looks great. Nice and fresh and up-kept. We even ordered the last of the windows to be put in before winter. Laundry is done. House is clean. I went thru my school notes and recycled the things I will never need again. And I am weeding out the closet-crap that has built up from many months of shoving things away, out of sight. Even my mom and sister were shocked at how clean the house actually looked! That means it must have been pretty bad. Oh well, no time to worry now. It will stay this clean for approximately 5 more days as the kids are due home from their very, seemingly, long vacation. I miss them a ton, actually. This particular 2 weeks seems extra long this year. Time ticks. They keep me up and moving forward.
There is still much to do, but I feel happy. And hopeful. The hard part of my 1000 day journey is over. I have 38 days left of it to get a job. Then school must start again. For all of us. Kids are rounding out Junior High, 7th and 8th grades this year, and the BF and I are in a race to the Bachelor’s. Who will get theirs first?? My classes start next week and I think I have fewer to take. The BF’s start the week after, but his courses are shorter AND online. So I will keep you posted. Then we have moving to think about and a whole other 1000 day plan to institute, although I think I am going with 500 days this time, with possible extensions.
It’s exciting to go down a brand new road, I’ve been on that other one a long time now. Even though I said it publicly on facebook, I will say it here too…this whole trip was not possible without the love and support of my kids, my BF, my family and friends, who constantly had to hear every detail and live thru every one of my ups and downs, passes and failures, and fears of failing, whether warranted or not. All the late nights, the early mornings, the constant brokeness; the take out food, the dirty house, the piles and piles of laundry and stacks of books; for all the stuff I missed and all the things I was too tired to do; for wearing all those wrinkly clothes and never complaining!! I love my kids. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my BF. Without him by my side and patiently waiting for the end, and taking care of everything that I couldn’t…thank you. I love you. I could not be here without you.
And that’s really it for now. Last chapter of this gripping tale coming right up. Where will I work??? Mystery! Stay tuned! Here is one final shot of the proof that I had to have to believe my dream had finally come true!
What a glorious, beautiful 4-letter word! Say it with me….PASS!!! Cheers!
When it rains it pours
Not literally. The weather is so last Thursday. I mean that I had a bunch of stuff lined up and ready to go and a bunch of other crap happened that disrupted my nothing. I can’t even keep up with the weather anymore. It’s like Florida here every day now. Rain in the morning. Sunshine. Threat of rain in the afternoon, maybe a sprinkle or wind or dark, ominous clouding, then sun again. Humid too. It’s annoying. Throw in unexpected driving trips, long distances and sketchy computer-looking eyes late at night and you have the perfect storm of nothing but boring rainfall posts.
On the good side, the minute I mention I am waiting, and content to wait for, a test date, the e-mails start to appear. People are beginning to plan their futures! But not me. Still no word. Eligibility pending. So I still wait. I’m not the only one so I won’t jump on the panic wagon yet. My plan is now for the first week of August. Kids will be on their annual vacation with their dad so that’s what I am aiming for. I should be done and over by the time they get back. Jobbed and registered for the next degree. Wishful thinking.
Anyway, we made a new goal to aim for, so this already boring and monotonous site may become even more deserted and bland. Stevie wants to do a 34 day exercise/food/burn the fat/wear a bikini to Indiana Beach/crazy workout/summer slim down. And I think that’s a pretty good idea. (34 days is starting tomorrow and ending July 31.) What the hell right? We could all stand to lose a few. We’re making it official and everything with a weigh in and promises of special sandals and new swimsuits. My kids are kinda strange sometimes. The first week is always the hardest right? Especially when you have issues like, love of food, love of the couch, love of xbox and air conditioning, and a still broken foot.
Oh yeah. It’s going to be GOOD!! Do you wanna hear about it every day? This is my plan for the summer. (I mean, besides scheduling the nclex, studying for the nclex, taking the nclex, passing the nclex (probably the KEY part of the whole plan), then getting a job, taking more classes, and eventually moving to a house that actually has enough rooms for all of us). There is no 5-Mile to aim for this year and no other races that I will be entering. Can’t take the pressure.
So follow us here. Leave a comment. Leave two or three…hell…you can join us if you want. Get up tomorrow. Weigh yourself and start exercising! Post here and let us know what you are doing to eat better, workout harder, burn more calories. (I could really use some ideas to get a boy up and out of the house who would really rather not. And make it FUN!) We don’t need specifics. We don’t care what you weigh exactly, just tell us what you lost! Or what you gained! Strength, agility, speed, a tan! Let me know! You inspire me and I will try my very hardest to inspire you!
Now, I have to go meet my BF for one last bit of the crazy, then I’ll post on the progress and all the other random stuff in between. Up and out. Sky is clear. Looks like no rain for tonight. Ha…had to get in one more little weather bit. Have a great night wherever you are!
FYI–that’s a pic of my morning life as reflected in the grill. See, no kidding. RAN–DUM(B).
just shy of pretty 