What is going on?? Why am I so popular??
I am NOT complaining, but I sure needed a day like today! BIG GIANT THANKS to whoever (any and all) out there, generating some traffic to this site! I think it’s cool and hopefully you will too! Don’t be fooled by that long standing Christmas Tree…I am updating I swear!!! See?!? Right this minute! Fresh material!
This was the first school related day that I have had to have in about a week and a half…holidays and all…I even had to dress up! Well, black pants, black top, tall shoes (not boots–the weather is a bit crapola around these parts and supposed to get worse in the next 24–not big news to those east of here (Chicago) but crap for us just the same–last report puts us at 6-10 inches of snow! Joy!) off track…business casual dress, second semester orientation (nursing), pictures will be taken for the Illinois Education Foundation that helps me achieve my goals! It’s all good.
So, I had to get up early anyway because the kids are back in school this week. So fine. The weather is a sunny 2° (TWO degrees). Whatever. With the wind chill it’s a brisk -15 or something. I drive to the school and there is literally, NO ONE, in the parking lot. At least not the one I park in. It’s the far one. The one that usually has less people than the front so I can park closer…to the back of the school (Ha. It is actually farther, but I hate the regular lot—too much traffic and you need a permit and blah blah blah) ok back to the story…walk from the lot to the school, climb FOUR flights of stairs to the class, enjoy some speech, sign some papers, go buy the syllabus, get my I.D. updated/punched, walk back to the car, drive home. (Are you still reading? Sorry about that…turned into kind of list thing…)
Open syllabus. Get school papers/books/highlighters/reading…reading…skill…reading…reading…skill…reading…reading…endless reading/complicated (?) skills/scary clinical stuff (?)/ on and on and on…realize that I haven’t eaten from the nervousness (I don’t know why–fear of failure makes me overly crazy and unduly paranoid) then realize right after that I might actually vomit from the whole afternoon. My crazy is just like an adverse side effect: unpredictable, unavoidable, and undesired. (Studying for the day: Done! And we all learned sumthing!)
So anyway, I basically marked everything I need to read, gathered my materials for said reading, collected the necessary objects that I will be lugging back and forth to school with me in two weeks, steth, BP cuff, pens, pencils, spirals, binder, scissors, tape, stapler, books, books, books (one book weighs NINE pounds!! as usual I have them all weighed and measured for your enjoyment—to be posted later) and in order to carry all this around I had to break out the…GASP!…Rolling. Book. Bag. Horror! It’s not even a book bag really…it’s more like luggage. I hate it. But I hate breaking my shoulder and spine worse, and I am not even entertaining the “backpack” route so just leave it alone. If you knew me—like all close and personal and all—I am hardly the backpack wearing type. I’m more like the make everything as hard as possible before giving in to any idea that is even remotely smart and sensible type—but that’s another webpage.
Where was I?? After my panic episode I decided it was time to, 1., eat something before I passed out, 2., turn up the heat–I was freezing at 60 degrees in the house, making me feel worse, and 3., sit on the couch and stare at the wall until my son came home from school. You will be happy to know that I did indeed do all these things.
And now I am here.
My kids are here too and that is making this extra difficult because they can’t seem to do simple math and vocab without asking me every 2 seconds what something is. For instance: What is the past tense of thrive? And what is another common multiple of 11 and 4? Why did you have kids mom?? (Ha ha ha, I threw that one in from my own brain…I was thinking it in my head… But still, why?)
Meltdowns are occurring so I must wrap this up for now. Plus I need to make dinner. I am the controller of food at the moment since we are all on intake-reduction, exercise and all around better health. Learn new stuff and everyone around you must suffer for it. They’ll thank me when they are old and can get up from a chair without the help of a hydraulic system on their furniture or a robot-servant or whatever they’ll have in the future to assist with the decrepit. I’ll be dead so I’ll have to watch from…heaven?? We’ll save theology for a later date, I gotta go.
To sum up:
School is almost rolling.
I am panicking.
Kids are trying to incite me to murder.
I have books and icicle and food and nature pictures to share.
I have the final Street Money Update for 2009 (I know! Can you believe I waited all the way until now to reveal this hot info???)
I have a new year, 2010, Street Money tally to roll out—already found some!!
I have more Weird Sh*t You Find Around the House! (I’ve been saving some! Dedicated to my new friend Merianne–shout out! “Hey!! I hope I spelled your name right!!”)
I have a new movie clip with the New York Coffee Cup. Mmmmm…
I have movies to talk about! I saw some over the holiday break! Some were even new(-er)!!
I have words and quotes and all the fab random riff raff that people, like you, hopefully, like to waste even a minute of their time with, with ME! (Thanks again! I am feeling the love. Or the boredom. But I’m feeling something!)
Check back later. It’s going to be an early bed time for the kiddies—they are throwing broken pencil pieces at each other so I better get the tweezers and the alcohol (I use the vodka–tastes great, steadies my hand and dulls their cries of pain) and close this thing. In the words of my favorite ex-husband:
“Roger that.”
“Over and Out.”
“Dork.”
Here’s a picture. For continuity.
Day Quote. Clinical Version.
This is actually from some of my school work. It’s from an article I had to read about Dementia and behaviors associated with. Our focus is on the older patient right now and how to best care for them and the many changes that occur with advancing age. I thought this was smart and sentimental and inspires me to be kind, always.
My Stepfather in the Nursing Home
For lunch he wears a clean white shirt,
strapped into his wheelchair with his hair
smoothed back, the shoulders
of his good Brooks Brothers jacket
straight. He takes a tiny sip of water,
puts down his glass, forgets and picks it up,
twelve times. Strangers he once knew
pass through the lobby of his mind,
ask him questions he can’t answer,
change his sheets and towels.
He throws his tray across the room
and howls the hotel’s lost his luggage
just when he’s close to a big deal.
He can’t find a pencil, does the math
in his head, and everyone’s stealing
his money. He tries to tell the nurse
he’ll get her a job in sporting goods
(the company he built from scratch,
nights, weekends), but the sentences
slur like acrobats who’ve lost their timing.
I remember he’d choke up reading
every heartbreak story in the Denver Post.
Afterwards he’d send a check.
—Wendy Drexler, senior editor at Educators Publishing Service, Cambridge, MA
Jump in the line!
Rock your body in time!
Oh no! I believe it!
Jump right in…start the body line… shake, shake, shake, Senora! Work it all the time!
I’m kind of making up words and moving them around. I am home from the first official day of school. Short and sweet. Serve it up and push me out the door. This. This. This. Test Monday. Skills Tuesday. See you tomorrow. Don’t be late. Two hours in, and the hand holding portion of the program is over.
I am exaggerating for dramatic and humorous effect. The teachers are all quite friendly and helpful, actually, but, they are not slowly walking us along the education path. They warned us of the fast pace, rapid start, rapid finish; fall behind and you might not be able to catch up. There just isn’t time. Time is fluid. Sometimes we forget when it thickens up. It’s really more like water, and it flows the same whether you are standing in it, sitting in it, swimming in it, being dragged along unmercifully by it, or drowning in it. Unless you cry for help, no one is going to hear you. And even if they do, no guarantee they can always save you. They might be able to get you out of it, but you won’t really be o.k.
But that is a little too much for the first day. I’ll save that little rumination for about, October, when I am failing the math test! Just kidding. Positive thoughts. (Not going where you think) I’m only taking it one week, one day, one class, one hour, at a time. Small doses. Even using a teaspoon eventually fills up the bowl. And my bowl is empty!!
So why the heck am I typing on this time wasting website?? Because I like it. And I need it. I need to put all the crazy thoughts somewhere so I can make room for the technical stuff I need to do a job and do it well. I don’t think this writing thing is going to pan out in the way that I had hoped and I only won $3 bucks on the Mega Millions and $2 on a scratch off, and that’s the most we have won on lottery in like, two years.
So this is my future. I will be busy with school, in 16 week chunks, for the next two years. But I’ll still try to post to keep updated and sane. (You should subscribe to me! Top right column…and you won’t miss any of the fun. And you can comment and give me encouragement and make me feel warm and fuzzy!)
In about 20 minutes, when my daughter gets home, we will be going to the store to get me a detailed schedule planner, for the minute day-to-day things I need to do (tests/skills/exercise–yes, I still do it, just don’t talk about it as much—next race is Labor Day!) anyhoo…we need groceries and breakfast food and cash for my son’s gym uniform and sports physical….it seems kind of scattery right? (Run on sentence anyone???) But I have already done laundry and cleaned the house and did the dishes, prepped for dinner and bedtime…I am never more productive than when I have less time for the tasks planned.
Here is a picture of a nurse coffee mug I was given 2 years ago when I started this mess. (Thank you Nancy!!) I tentatively bring it out now in anticipation of success. I am normally superstitious about cart-before-the-horse and all that, but what the hell. I have to pass. Failure is not an option for me.
I also threw in the picture with all the books I was told I would need for the first semester. Semester. 16 weeks. Hey! You keep them, FOREVER! And if you are like me, you’d want to know this too:
Height of books: 17 inches
Weight of books: 42.4 lbs.
You never have to bring them all anywhere, (so they say) but I still think it’s interesting to know the stats.


You can't see it exactly, but it's about 16" tall. AND I forgot a book! I took its picture all by itself. So that brings the total to 17".

The missing book from the pile. I included it in the weight though. I should have taken a picture of the scale! I'm not going to now because I don't feel like moving all those books again. Too heavy. Too many.
Thursday. Friday. Weekend. Monday. And all the other days after that…
Wednesday post had to be at one am, because the real world has spun back into motion.
I’ve been on hold for the last year. Preparing, but not actually doing. And here it is.
Thursday. First day of school for kids. Last day of summer for mom. It was a half day, decent weather except for the morning when it rained at the bus stop. Just enough to soak my son for his first time back on the bus since 2nd grade. Yes, I went to the bus stop with him (Sister came too!) and no, we weren’t the only ones. Seems all the moms come out for the first (and second) day of school. My son didn’t care. He even gave me a kiss goodbye. In front of other people. I feel very fortunate (I truly do) to have such a nice boy. An hour later, we were out again. Stevie and I, walking her to school. She is fifth grade now. Top of the school chain! It’s a quiet walk this year. All the fifth graders from last year are gone now. On the bus. And that is what made up most of the kids on the street. One more year and she’ll join her brother at the Jr. High.
Profitable though, to take them out. Found a lot of loose change and some odd items for the next posts; Street Money and Odd Items.
After school we went to play mini-golf. The very last afternoon of summer and all its ease. Then we came home and waited for morning. Ha. Not really. The kids played outside until dinner and the BF’s friend came back (sunshine and blue skies) and fixed the roof pipe. Ten minutes. Done. It’s nice when there isn’t a typhoon trying to sweep you off the roof to your death! And don’t worry. There’s a picture. Observe:

Then, Friday. Full day. Boy on the bus. Girl walking. More change. Another odd item. This time the rain waited to pour down on Mason when he got off the bus walking home. I managed to get all the laundry done, pay the bills, organize my school papers and start the prep work. The nursing starts immediately. You don’t ease into the pool, you jump straight in. (Not with the people yet, just in the water. No worries.) Anyway, it’s good. I have some reading and vocab and, oh no, here come the kids. Mom on hold. Kids take the front. Papers to sign, homework (they jump in too) and a snack. And back to me. But I want to type. So here it is. I have a few days of catching up to do.
I’ll just end it here and post more pictures! I can’t concentrate on a good conclusion because Stevie turned on Hannah Montana and I swear to God and all things holy or hellish, that damn show makes me laugh out loud and sucks me in faster than a low flying goose in an airplane engine. To borrow a phrase from a hillbilly soliloquy. Those Cyrus folk can sure turn a phrase. Hardy har har.
So they say the nursing shortage is over. WHA-AH-AA-T ?!?!?

That's what this fish looks like it's saying! It looks surprised.
For now.
I love how my career choice (finally made after years of hazy plans for the future, AND three years of prerequisite education) has coincided with the fact that I still won’t get a job!
Thanks to the recession. All the retired nurses have come back to the work place to cover for their husbands and families who have lost their jobs. Hospitals aren’t hiring. Medical places are trying to get by with what they have on staff already. But people keep getting sick. People keep going to the hospital whether they want to or not.
I dramatize for effect. In the next paragraphs of all these doom news stories, they go on to say that most nurses will go back into retirement after the pressure is off, and there will be even more nurses leaving the field in the next 10 years, just because it’s their time. And that’s where all us newbies come in. Someone has to cover the exiters. So I am still moving forward with no fear.
I just thought it was kind of funny to read this early on Saturday morning and only one week before I start full time nursing school!
Now back to our regularly scheduled posting.
When last you heard from me, I was on my way to school…
…with high hopes for the rest of the evening. When suddenly…Tequila! (And that was TWO days ago.)
I did go to school. I got the “pre-heads-up” to the actual “heads-up” classes I have next week. Signed some paperwork. Got some questions answered. Payed for classes. Bought more books. Drove home excited as hell, but unaware of the complicated nature of what I am about to embark upon.
I have three books and a syllabus right now, and I have three more books to buy. Definitely the most I have needed so far. When I trained for EMT I was on an adrenaline rush for hours after every single class, for like 4-6 months. It was crazy. And I have that same crazy feeling just looking at these books. Two years and god knows how many hours are about to go into this program, but I am ready. I’m not sure my body can take the intensity. I had trouble sleeping before, but I guess that will just help me on the job! I talked so much on the phone to the BF just driving home from a pre-class class, that I, “low-battery-powered-off”, the cell phone. The damn thing drained out good. First time I talked to the cut-off. Even after I plugged it back in it wouldn’t turn on for a little while.
So I take a closer look at this new book. Calculating With Confidence. Drug calculations, measurements, math conversions…OMG, it looks hard. Drug labels, syringes, pills, liquids, fractions, decimals, cc. mL. mg. oz. You need: Aspirin gr 10 p.o. q4h p.r.n. for pain. You have: Drug label, that suddenly makes no sense whatsoever. And tell me how much, with how much diluent, time of day, route of administration, but don’t forget who you are giving it to, how much they weigh, what else they are taking; now mark it on the drawing, and don’t “F” it up because you could kill someone…. I’m paraphrasing…but that’s the idea. Once you take off the plastic shrink wrap, the front cover has a skull and crossbones on it. They don’t want you to see that until it’s too late. And you thought that the nurse handing you two Tylenol in the hospital after dinner didn’t require any skill. HA!
The amazing thing is, that in 2 months, that book is going to make perfect sense, and I’ll be calculating in my sleep (not literally), but for now…we better go to Pepe’s and think about the future.
So the guy that has been working there since he was a child, really, (I know, because we as a family, collectively have been going there for his whole life basically, I even remember a time when he was out in the parking lot trying to drive off in his older brothers car…he got in trouble for that…) anypepestoryway…this kid/adult now (Ricky? The name would not come to me, don’t judge, I’m approaching 40, but Mason and Stevie both agree, yes, on the name) made me a killer, and I mean KILLER margarita. I took 4 drinks and I was feeling the heat. By one third gone, I was TWO thirds gone. I wish I could say I was joking, because I was getting “altered” and fast. (My teeth were numb and I tried to walk out of the clear glass panel NEXT to the door, when I left the restaurant) I ate some chips and salsa and some shrimp cocktail on crackers and a tamale and a chili rellano but food was failing me fast, so I concentrated on finishing the medium margarita that, based on my morning calculations of how-long-it-takes-my-body-to-filter-out-the-alcohol (years of research have perfected this system) there must have been at least, 5 shots of tequila in my drink. I can say that with confidence because I was still slightly drunk at 7:30 in the morning. And I even tried to move the alcohol along with activity and oxygen before I fell into dreamy-drunky sleep the night before but sometimes you can’t keep a good buzz down, or up, or whatever. End of story.
I dragged myself up, took out the garbage, diluted my remaining blood level of tequila with coffee, and watched Regis & Kelly with Pat Tomasulo subbing for Regis (!!) I wrote it on the calendar! Busy schedule, yeah yeah, I’ll be working soon enough and you’ll miss these long, rambling posts. (More Pat Stuff)
The Pat Down. For your enjoyment. And since this is Chicago, we have 2 newspapers…here’s the Trib version. Ok, I think I’m done now.
Then I really pushed the limit with a five mile run. Five point one something something, to be exact. I ran the water bill to the Village Hall, which maps out at 5+ miles. MapMy Run.com. 30 minutes there. 34 minutes back. One hour, four minutes. I will take it. I ran on the sidewalks. Concrete, hard on the shins with lots of hills, (dang Park Forest doesn’t have a completely flat spot 10 steps in a row), and chock full of tripping hazards. Broken cement, uneven, crooked, weeds, rocks…I’m not sure what the village is doing all the time. It seems like they dig holes in random spots all around town just so there’s something for the kids to fall into. At any rate. I was done for the day. Kids got home about 3 ish and we ate ice cream and talked about all they did last week. Stevie made cupcakes! First time on her own and no crunchy ones from egg shells! (So far) So proud. Then dinner and a movie. (Burgers on the grill and Smokey and the Bandit from Netflix) unpack the bags, go to bed and poof! Here we are. Today.
I’m going to skip the run today, maybe go take a walk at the nature trail if I can get the kids out there. Mason has grass to finish and we are open. I have the pictures you have been waiting for…I didn’t forget, it’s just time and energy and getting them off the cell phone. I even have video! The kids wanted to play in the water, but we don’t have a pool. We have a hose. So they filled up larger, plastic, Tupperware bowls and put their faces in them or dumped them over their heads. They would swim in a wet sponge if they could. Then they played water-hose-jump-rope, which is actually pretty funny. So that’s coming too! And all that other stuff I said I had…Remember my theme: Everything is always two days ago!
Cupcakes!

Half with sprinkles, half without! Tasty!
It’s Official!
Just checked the website and the scores were posted for the Final Exam I took today. I was sure I was in the “A” category, but not positive. I am not above making a read-back error (although I will strive to never do that in my professional career).
I worked real hard for this. Just like all my classmates. The mood was serious and intense. We were all first-course nervous.
The professor posted a message saying a few of the questions were reviewed and modified for accuracy. You may have an additional point or two on your score.
Click over to the grade section…yes! Official! I am now solidly in “A” territory! What a boost for the next semester! Longer and harder I hear. More intense. We’ll be getting right into the good stuff. I have to keep up!
Thank you, all, again, for the suh-port! It helps when you know you have people out there pulling for you!
Thank you professor! Now I can say how awesome she was without sounding like I am sucking up.
Good luck fellow students! If any of them might happen to ever stumble upon this: I hope you are just as happy as I am!
I feel like I took a marshmallow pill or something. I’m getting all soft and gooey.
Drink time! I’ll make it a beer. We only have one in the house so it will be a short celebration, but it’s all mine!
I’m going to go outside, fill up the bird feeder, take a seat, watch the wildlife and soak it all in enjoying the moment. Talk later.





