Attempting a “quick” post. Yeah right.
Hopefully. Had school today. Told my joke. It was funny enough.
Maybe you want it? There’s a blonde on one side of a river, and another blonde on the opposite side of the river. The blonde on the right yells to the other blonde, “How did you get on the other side of the river??” And the other blonde yells back, “You’re already there!” Ha and Ha.
Lots of good ones were given! Didn’t buy any more books. Going to check online and buy the rest there. I have the main ones so its ok for now.
Driving home I find out I have to take my mom for her eye surgery at 6:30 am. Which means I need to be at her house by 5:30 am. Which means I have to leave my house at 4:45 am. Which means I get to see every spectacular shooting star and debris from the meteor shower at the most opportune time of all the viewing hours here in North America! Click here for the link. Just making lemonade out of my lemons! I actually think that meteors are pretty cool. Pray for good weather. No clouds or rain please!! I don’t want to be getting up just in the plain old dark!! I need entertainment!
After I got home I changed and did a quick (ha) five mile run around the neighborhood. My goal is less than one hour for the 5-mile race on Labor Day. I did one hour and 15 seconds, non-stop, except where I got stuck at lights going across a main road. (There was too much traffic for me to just run across) So based on today’s jog, I believe I can easily achieve my goal. I probably would have been under by about a minute or two save for the stoplights. Promising!!
That led me to a cool down walk where I found change (oh yeah!) Street Money next!
And that led me to coming into the house to do a quick weigh-in. Shouldn’t have done that! No good. Not losing. I know why. Too much crap. The days are ok, but dinner just sucks. Greasy spoon hot dogs, pizza, quesadillas and guac, ice cream, McDonald’s! It’s not enough to run and bike, I gotta eat healthy. And I have really fallen off the wagon. (I think my legs look really good now though. They feel solid and muscular and look good in shorts (all my opinion) but who else’s should really matter??) Anymodestway…
It also led me to here, the internet, where I wanted to post, but not really because I can never keep it short enough! As I opened the WordPress page there was a picture of delicious looking chocolate cake, right on the front! How terrible of them, and right at dinnertime when people are out there sweating and starving. Anyway, I click on it of course, and the site is full of good looking food and recipes and amazing photos and so I included it in my side bar. You can click here for the fast version. You know it has a complicated name. I listed it as Beautiful Food. Very elegant though. Again, makes mine look like the ramblings of a crazy out patient, but we can all have our space in the airwaves. I will be using it as my food porn because I have to cut it back down before the race. Dr. Ian I’m looking at you! And your Extreme Fat Smash. Just for the three weeks. Then BFL. Life on the hamster wheel!
Alright, one more bad dinner is on the way, so I better finish up. I haven’t forgotten all the other stuff, I’m just losing time. Let me end with a lite joke from class today for when you are feeling like life sucks and it can’t get any worse (it can always get worse). This is no reflection on me at this particular moment, things are stable, but you can see the relevance for the future:
The Toothbrush says, “Somedays I feel like I have the worst job in the whole world!”
“Ya, right.” says the Toilet Paper.
It’s Saturday night and ahm all alone…but I got a story to tell!!
Boos to the hoos…my babies are gone again (wahwahwah), and the BF is at his friends house playing cards or boozing it up and talking about the women or whatever else they be doing out there in the garage. Yes, the smokers gotta smoke, so last I heard, the party was outside. It was 90 f***ing degrees when he left so I don’t know how long the “outside” is going to seem fun-friendly.
Now, I love the heat…or at least I used to love the heat. But I guess as I get older, I just can’t take it. Sweating when I am sitting still isn’t really working for me anymore. So, even though I am against paying for electricity when it’s unneeded, I have the air on. My house becomes like an oven for some weird reason. I think it’s the windows we have. They don’t really let in air. The three brand new ones do (please see previous posts) but that was HOT air. I had to shut the house down. And now I am in the kitchen typing and catching up and when I go in the living room, it will feel like everyone else’s house (the ones that have a central air system–not a window unit like me) I’m not complaining though, because it gets to the bedroom so I’ll be able to sleep!
But that’s kind of boring and rambly so let me re-cap the day:
Pretty much nothing. Kids left last night, so I was kind of bummed out and not feeling especially happy or fun to be around (I would like to make this another official apology to the BF. I stink as a girlfriend.) Went to bed. Woke up. Drank coffee. Read some trash mags. Went to the running trail. Yes, I did. Yes, WE did. It was only 80° at the time of start, but after we were done, the car said 94°. Granted we were there longer than usual, we talked for awhile, then ran and biked. I did the whole thing, the BF did it twice, but I’m telling you it was slow and sweaty. I think we were on the trail 45-50 minutes or so, not good time, I fully admit, but I probably lost 5 pounds in sweat. It was so hot I felt like I could just seize up right on the trail. I had to walk for some of it which is better than passing out on it or near it; that grass, chock full of animal poo-poo, isn’t all that inviting.
Oh! and I completely forgot about the crazy thing that happened to me, first time ever, on foot! I even forgot to tell the BF! Just as we left each other at the ¼ mile mark, I was running along, listening to music, getting my breaths adjusted, passed another woman, when suddenly, in front of me, a baby deer jumps right into the path! And I mean RIGHT in front of me. I could have touched it if I hadn’t been so startled. I said, “Uuhh!” and stopped. And the deer stopped. Now we are standing there. (It was smaller, with even, brown fur and white spots. Nice and clear. I have never been that close to a deer to see it like this.) Then it jerked and leapt forward to the other side. But I heard more rustling, and next to me, on the right, where the first one came from, is another one! Another baby. It’s looking at me. I can tell it wants to go across, but it makes a quick turn around, kind of like the Scooby-Doo, back legs running but the body ain’t going, move and scrambles back into the brush where it came from. So I look back, and the woman that I passed saw it all, thank god, because I swear no one would believe me. I gave her a shrug and she kind of did that laughing-arm-waving-that-was-crazy-signal-thing and I kept running. But the heart attack those deer almost gave me kind of pinched my effort.
And then even crazier, I forgot! Until right now! It was so bleeping hot, the memory burned out and dripped onto the pavement. But it’s all true. It was like being in your car when one jumps in front of it—also happened to me—but the deer very elegantly and gracefully, managed to jump right on over missing my bumper by millimeters—except I had no car. I wonder if I had been going just a tiny bit faster would that deer have jumped right into me? Kind of bumped me right to the ground? Would it hurt? I don’t know. He sure didn’t know I was there until he saw me. Youngsters! Can’t trust them anywhere!
Anydeery, so that’s my exciting exercise tale for the day.
I also found a penny in the parking lot! Excitement all around! Check that post in a bit. We actually found quite a bit of change in the last few. All the updates coming up!
When last you heard from me, I was on my way to school…
…with high hopes for the rest of the evening. When suddenly…Tequila! (And that was TWO days ago.)
I did go to school. I got the “pre-heads-up” to the actual “heads-up” classes I have next week. Signed some paperwork. Got some questions answered. Payed for classes. Bought more books. Drove home excited as hell, but unaware of the complicated nature of what I am about to embark upon.
I have three books and a syllabus right now, and I have three more books to buy. Definitely the most I have needed so far. When I trained for EMT I was on an adrenaline rush for hours after every single class, for like 4-6 months. It was crazy. And I have that same crazy feeling just looking at these books. Two years and god knows how many hours are about to go into this program, but I am ready. I’m not sure my body can take the intensity. I had trouble sleeping before, but I guess that will just help me on the job! I talked so much on the phone to the BF just driving home from a pre-class class, that I, “low-battery-powered-off”, the cell phone. The damn thing drained out good. First time I talked to the cut-off. Even after I plugged it back in it wouldn’t turn on for a little while.
So I take a closer look at this new book. Calculating With Confidence. Drug calculations, measurements, math conversions…OMG, it looks hard. Drug labels, syringes, pills, liquids, fractions, decimals, cc. mL. mg. oz. You need: Aspirin gr 10 p.o. q4h p.r.n. for pain. You have: Drug label, that suddenly makes no sense whatsoever. And tell me how much, with how much diluent, time of day, route of administration, but don’t forget who you are giving it to, how much they weigh, what else they are taking; now mark it on the drawing, and don’t “F” it up because you could kill someone…. I’m paraphrasing…but that’s the idea. Once you take off the plastic shrink wrap, the front cover has a skull and crossbones on it. They don’t want you to see that until it’s too late. And you thought that the nurse handing you two Tylenol in the hospital after dinner didn’t require any skill. HA!
The amazing thing is, that in 2 months, that book is going to make perfect sense, and I’ll be calculating in my sleep (not literally), but for now…we better go to Pepe’s and think about the future.
So the guy that has been working there since he was a child, really, (I know, because we as a family, collectively have been going there for his whole life basically, I even remember a time when he was out in the parking lot trying to drive off in his older brothers car…he got in trouble for that…) anypepestoryway…this kid/adult now (Ricky? The name would not come to me, don’t judge, I’m approaching 40, but Mason and Stevie both agree, yes, on the name) made me a killer, and I mean KILLER margarita. I took 4 drinks and I was feeling the heat. By one third gone, I was TWO thirds gone. I wish I could say I was joking, because I was getting “altered” and fast. (My teeth were numb and I tried to walk out of the clear glass panel NEXT to the door, when I left the restaurant) I ate some chips and salsa and some shrimp cocktail on crackers and a tamale and a chili rellano but food was failing me fast, so I concentrated on finishing the medium margarita that, based on my morning calculations of how-long-it-takes-my-body-to-filter-out-the-alcohol (years of research have perfected this system) there must have been at least, 5 shots of tequila in my drink. I can say that with confidence because I was still slightly drunk at 7:30 in the morning. And I even tried to move the alcohol along with activity and oxygen before I fell into dreamy-drunky sleep the night before but sometimes you can’t keep a good buzz down, or up, or whatever. End of story.
I dragged myself up, took out the garbage, diluted my remaining blood level of tequila with coffee, and watched Regis & Kelly with Pat Tomasulo subbing for Regis (!!) I wrote it on the calendar! Busy schedule, yeah yeah, I’ll be working soon enough and you’ll miss these long, rambling posts. (More Pat Stuff)
The Pat Down. For your enjoyment. And since this is Chicago, we have 2 newspapers…here’s the Trib version. Ok, I think I’m done now.
Then I really pushed the limit with a five mile run. Five point one something something, to be exact. I ran the water bill to the Village Hall, which maps out at 5+ miles. MapMy Run.com. 30 minutes there. 34 minutes back. One hour, four minutes. I will take it. I ran on the sidewalks. Concrete, hard on the shins with lots of hills, (dang Park Forest doesn’t have a completely flat spot 10 steps in a row), and chock full of tripping hazards. Broken cement, uneven, crooked, weeds, rocks…I’m not sure what the village is doing all the time. It seems like they dig holes in random spots all around town just so there’s something for the kids to fall into. At any rate. I was done for the day. Kids got home about 3 ish and we ate ice cream and talked about all they did last week. Stevie made cupcakes! First time on her own and no crunchy ones from egg shells! (So far) So proud. Then dinner and a movie. (Burgers on the grill and Smokey and the Bandit from Netflix) unpack the bags, go to bed and poof! Here we are. Today.
I’m going to skip the run today, maybe go take a walk at the nature trail if I can get the kids out there. Mason has grass to finish and we are open. I have the pictures you have been waiting for…I didn’t forget, it’s just time and energy and getting them off the cell phone. I even have video! The kids wanted to play in the water, but we don’t have a pool. We have a hose. So they filled up larger, plastic, Tupperware bowls and put their faces in them or dumped them over their heads. They would swim in a wet sponge if they could. Then they played water-hose-jump-rope, which is actually pretty funny. So that’s coming too! And all that other stuff I said I had…Remember my theme: Everything is always two days ago!
Cupcakes!
Half with sprinkles, half without! Tasty!
Where the trail starts. Very pretty, by a fishing lake. My favorite part of the picture is the garbage can I managed to get in the corner. I could have cropped it out, but I like it; Adds depth and perspective.
Don’t Read TIME Magazine!!
Or NewsWeek, or any of the other kind of magazines that make you think about the world and problems and issues and things that are important to life and living here in America and on Earth. If you do, you will only be sorry. Like me.
I feel bad because I did read the TIME magazine this morning, BB (Before Burrito’s) and before Bike Riding, and it makes the silly stuff I talk about all day seem kind of lame. I should have a point or a view and opinions and controversy. But I don’t. I have ideas. But then I see a colorful bird in a tree or a strange frog on the sidewalk and I forget all about deeper issues.
I really do have a master plan, and I do have some really good life improving ideas, but I need to get through school first so I can start earning the kind of money and hooking up with the right kind of connections to put things in place. Plus, I have to get my kids up and ready for high school. That’s their first step toward all of the rest of the education they are going to be required to have to make any kind of difference in this world.
I bring it up now, because I am going to be posting stuff that I get from the “smart” mags along with the usual crap I get from the internet and the gossip mags my brain absorbs like a dried up jellyfish. Plus, I may be suffering some kind of post-exercise-nature-beauty-world-love withdrawal, as the coffee and vodka (not together) courses back into my veins and displaces all the healthy-oxygen-clean-pure-blood, but it takes time!
And! I have some International New Features I want to post! The BF’s good friend from work just moved to Germany with her hubby and sent an e-mail and photo’s that are absolutely out of this world, funny and brilliant and real-world people perspective of other places on the globe. And she said I could post it all here!
For now though, here’s my stuff: We rode those bikes, in the rain (it stopped now and then) for 19.2 miles! Once we got out there the actual trail was a bit longer. Took us One hour and 45 minutes. Not bad for ups/downs/traffic/road crossings/the requisite work phone call (BF is on the job) and a stop to take a picture of an old cemetery that was there in the early 1900’s. The sign explains it, but the Forest Preserve acquired the land with the cemetery on it and chose to keep it as it was. History and all. Now you can say the site is educational and we can both feel better.
There were power lines too! Giant, humming, massive towers that were really crackling in the rain. I was so in awe of being that close and riding underneath all of them that I forgot to take any pictures. It’s probably good anyway. I would have pulled my phone out, aimed it up at the wires and got electrocuted when an arc of electricity shot out and grabbed the cell killing me on the spot. That would have sucked.
See? No sense of world. Ooooh…power lines. Electricity. Well, without it, we couldn’t type or read this, so….it needs to propped!
Anyway, if we go back tomorrow—which I’d like to—I will get those pics. It is pretty amazing. I know people that live by them don’t necessarily think so, but I don’t have my brains getting fried on a day-to-day basis…or…?? Just kidding. Seriously. I don’t really think brains are getting fried just because of power lines. You don’t need to live by the high wire to get the high if you know what I mean.
Also, in case you were wondering, I think I successfully burned off all the cals from those terrible, but delicious burrito’s. I checked the internet for an exercise calculator and it says I did. Now, what’s for dinner? Let me finish my vodka lemonade and think about it while you look at pictures of headstones and a sign.
Riding in the Rain
So the BF has mapped out a very long 15 mile + trail for us to bike ride on. He has the bike rack on the back of the car. The bikes are ready, with proper tire air and water bottle holders secured. His mileage counter/techy gadget is calibrated and standing by. We are wearing our finest bicycle shorts/racing peddle shoes/tight, wicking t-shirts/fast helmet/goggle combos; aka Lance Armstrong and Co. (Just kidding about the clothes–we live in the suburbs. Of Chicago. We could get our asses kicked riding around town looking like space alien freaks.)
As you may recall, and I see that I typed it last night, I was going running today. 4 miles plus. Which I may do after this “bike ride” the BF wants to do. Our only problem here at the moment is the giant mass of thunderstorms and rain clouds moving across the area this very minute. I have a few choices here.
Just go ride the bikes. It’s chilly and rainy but at least I’ll be moving(??).
Then go run on the trail, after. 3.6 miles will seem so easy then.
Go to the gym. Indoors. Always temperature and weather controlled. (Poop)
Or…STOP eating.
But, since I already devoured 4, yes (shame) four, McDonald’s Breakfast Burrito’s with Hot Picante, while watching Grease 2 (double shame) this morning, it’s probably too late for that option.
My favorite alternative option, since it feels kind of like New Orleans out there; breezy, rainy, Southern tropical; I say we make Hurricanes and sit out on the veranda and drink all day. (We don’t actually have a veranda, but we do have a patio with some very nice plastic Adirondack chairs and a backyard full of grass to look at.) It’s close enough.
And I can’t seem to waste any more time with this post, as I’ve run out of things to embarass myself with. I will be back, much later, with my regular schedule of things you don’t care about.
I have to go lose some calories and be a part of society now.
Last post of the night…
Hold on, let me get a drink for this….
Ok. If you read this in any kind of dailyway, I pretty much list off my activities for the day. So, even though I had good intentions when I woke up this morning (early , so that I could watch the WGN Morning News—I even texted what kind of underwear Pat Tomasulo should wear to co-host his first Regis & Kelly Show on Tuesday—sad), basically I did nothing. The road to Hell…
Drank coffee. Bitched and moaned when I had to take the car to the brake shop, which we desperately needed. Grumped about having to go buy windows and stain and rocks for the house to make it look nicer. Hated the lunch I ate, even though I picked the place. Was bored at the Pet Store getting feeders for the cannibal Oscars (which are getting big–I’m going to do a before and after post when I sober up in the morning because I’ll never find the old pictures in this condition). Sat inside and played BeJeweled on the computer and Facebook while the BF cleaned off the roof, gutters and patio in the blazing midday sun. Perked up a little when we had to go get the car, brand new brakes—so nice!–only because I knew we had to go right past a liquor store! Yay! Happily walked around said liquor store picking up various drink items for tonight and tomorrow. Drove car home thinking about making delicious martini’s and laying across the couch like a lump. Sitting here, right now, drinking second martini and typing about the things that I won’t be finishing up tonight. Like…
The laundry.
The kids room. So close too! Got it painted and ready to re-build. Got proof too! See pics below! I was going to save them for the big before and after unveiling, but who am I kidding?? I might not even finish that room now until Sunday or Monday. HA. All I have to do is hang curtains and move the furniture back. Oh Cursed Vodka!!
Another thing I didn’t do was run. And I feel bad about that. It’s been 2 days; three when I wake up tomorrow. (I did paint for those two days—today was just pure lazy) It’s going to suck running around out there for 4 miles, maybe more, as punishment, with a hangover and reeking of booze sweat but I can’t get behind. I have a five mile race in one month and you saw those butt pictures. Eee-yew…did any one else just feel a chill?? Goosebumps. Or giant lumps (of fat in my pants—yuck). I’m not even telling you where those pictures are or linking it. Find it yourself.
What I am going to do though, is finish this up, post those pictures (the walls and windows really did turn out nice–good work SoberLisa!) and make some moves on my BF. (Too much information???)
Like Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders, once said (and she totally rocks):
“One drink makes me want to go to bed.
Two drinks makes me want to go to YOUR bed.”
Goodnight, Chicagago!
Update. NOW it’s gonna rain…ratsafratsa…And the Final Warrior Dash post until next years event (or at least sign-up)
It’s like thunder, lightning…the way you love me is frightening…that’s from a song, but the storm is moving in. It’s like the weather was waiting for me to finish running today. “OK, Thunderheads, she’s done. She finally got her lazy butt up and around, send in the clouds and let her rip!” Bastard Atmospheric Conditions!
Anymuddyway…These are the final pictures from that damn little mud camera with the amazing ability to take blurry pictures of hot firefighters but somehow focus in with razor sharp acuity on my ginormous ass going over a wall. (If you wanna see the butt pictures–you gonna have to search the website–I put them in a separate post–Ha!)
Here they are. Thanks A & J!
Our kingdom for a wish…
Before the race. Strolling the course. Posing so bravely.
Ooooh! Fire! Hurry!
Scary! And actually it was a little bit...it was hot, high, and 7 in the morning. We have to jump over that???
The mud. Looks nice with no one in it. Kind of like a spa!
The start.
People running with us. I'm kind of hungry...
Imagine that running on the flat ground is the easiest thing you do all day!
The hills! Killer! Seemed easy until about the twentieth one!
The junkyard cars.
Cheesecake!
My favorite part! In the forest! The steep terrain and jagged rocks! I really did like this obstacle!
Climb over a spool. Walk the plank!
From the bottom...
...and from the top!
Look at that man! Just hops right over! Where are the girls?? You gotta go look...'cause they are not in this section!
In the tubes...a mere competitor...
...Out the other side...a WARRIOR!
Swampy. Our first taste of mud and what's to come!
The mud pit. Down and dirty and in it! We are there.
We are so over it!
Firefighters. Big Hoses. Water. Yes, please.
See you all next year!!
just shy of pretty 