Riding in the Rain
So the BF has mapped out a very long 15 mile + trail for us to bike ride on. He has the bike rack on the back of the car. The bikes are ready, with proper tire air and water bottle holders secured. His mileage counter/techy gadget is calibrated and standing by. We are wearing our finest bicycle shorts/racing peddle shoes/tight, wicking t-shirts/fast helmet/goggle combos; aka Lance Armstrong and Co. (Just kidding about the clothes–we live in the suburbs. Of Chicago. We could get our asses kicked riding around town looking like space alien freaks.)
As you may recall, and I see that I typed it last night, I was going running today. 4 miles plus. Which I may do after this “bike ride” the BF wants to do. Our only problem here at the moment is the giant mass of thunderstorms and rain clouds moving across the area this very minute. I have a few choices here.
Just go ride the bikes. It’s chilly and rainy but at least I’ll be moving(??).
Then go run on the trail, after. 3.6 miles will seem so easy then.
Go to the gym. Indoors. Always temperature and weather controlled. (Poop)
Or…STOP eating.
But, since I already devoured 4, yes (shame) four, McDonald’s Breakfast Burrito’s with Hot Picante, while watching Grease 2 (double shame) this morning, it’s probably too late for that option.
My favorite alternative option, since it feels kind of like New Orleans out there; breezy, rainy, Southern tropical; I say we make Hurricanes and sit out on the veranda and drink all day. (We don’t actually have a veranda, but we do have a patio with some very nice plastic Adirondack chairs and a backyard full of grass to look at.) It’s close enough.
And I can’t seem to waste any more time with this post, as I’ve run out of things to embarass myself with. I will be back, much later, with my regular schedule of things you don’t care about.
I have to go lose some calories and be a part of society now.
Last post of the night…
Hold on, let me get a drink for this….
Ok. If you read this in any kind of dailyway, I pretty much list off my activities for the day. So, even though I had good intentions when I woke up this morning (early , so that I could watch the WGN Morning News—I even texted what kind of underwear Pat Tomasulo should wear to co-host his first Regis & Kelly Show on Tuesday—sad), basically I did nothing. The road to Hell…
Drank coffee. Bitched and moaned when I had to take the car to the brake shop, which we desperately needed. Grumped about having to go buy windows and stain and rocks for the house to make it look nicer. Hated the lunch I ate, even though I picked the place. Was bored at the Pet Store getting feeders for the cannibal Oscars (which are getting big–I’m going to do a before and after post when I sober up in the morning because I’ll never find the old pictures in this condition). Sat inside and played BeJeweled on the computer and Facebook while the BF cleaned off the roof, gutters and patio in the blazing midday sun. Perked up a little when we had to go get the car, brand new brakes—so nice!–only because I knew we had to go right past a liquor store! Yay! Happily walked around said liquor store picking up various drink items for tonight and tomorrow. Drove car home thinking about making delicious martini’s and laying across the couch like a lump. Sitting here, right now, drinking second martini and typing about the things that I won’t be finishing up tonight. Like…
The laundry.
The kids room. So close too! Got it painted and ready to re-build. Got proof too! See pics below! I was going to save them for the big before and after unveiling, but who am I kidding?? I might not even finish that room now until Sunday or Monday. HA. All I have to do is hang curtains and move the furniture back. Oh Cursed Vodka!!
Another thing I didn’t do was run. And I feel bad about that. It’s been 2 days; three when I wake up tomorrow. (I did paint for those two days—today was just pure lazy) It’s going to suck running around out there for 4 miles, maybe more, as punishment, with a hangover and reeking of booze sweat but I can’t get behind. I have a five mile race in one month and you saw those butt pictures. Eee-yew…did any one else just feel a chill?? Goosebumps. Or giant lumps (of fat in my pants—yuck). I’m not even telling you where those pictures are or linking it. Find it yourself.
What I am going to do though, is finish this up, post those pictures (the walls and windows really did turn out nice–good work SoberLisa!) and make some moves on my BF. (Too much information???)
Like Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders, once said (and she totally rocks):
“One drink makes me want to go to bed.
Two drinks makes me want to go to YOUR bed.”
Goodnight, Chicagago!
What do these things have in common? Me, Vodka, and Olives.
This drunken post should be all the answer you need.
It’s Friday. My children are safe, away, with their daddy. Mother Nature has left the building. And I’m as smooth as George Clooney in a roomful of cocktail waitresses at a Vegas Casino. (That’s for Michael K. He’s not a reader, but he’d appreciate the effort)
It’s 6:30 PM Chicago Time and I’m going to hit publish and make Number 2. Wait a minute.
Let me re-type. I’m leaving it though because it’s funny. At least it is when you drink a giant cup of vodka.
Re-phrase: I’m posting, hitting Publish, and making my second Dirty Martini, minus the dirty, the olives and the glass.
And……
Blatant second attempt at generating more traffic tonight. Trying to get Super 3000! And a disturbing dream I had days ago…
Read This. My first shameless self-promotion post.
I’ve made it so easy! Time is ticking. I’m feeling a little sickling…Really. I don’t know what it was, or is, but I feel kind of yucky all of the sudden.
Anderson Cooper, on Regis & Kelly today (he filled in) said that no one wants to hear other people’s dreams. Ever. Even close friends and family, he said, “It’s like, no, no, don’t tell me…ugh…too late…bored.”
Kelly disagreed. Some dreams can be interesting, she said.
Well pick a side, because here is one of mine.
I had it 3 or 4 nights ago, but I can’t forget it. It basically starts….fuzzy stuff…and I’m in a garage. At a party. There is a lot of drinking going on. Not by me, but by these three tall guys standing by the open garage door. When suddenly, one of the drinking guys somehow manages to trip the switch that makes the garage door start to close. But he doesn’t move out of the way. He just stands under it watching it come down on top of him. We, on the inside are yelling for him to move, but he’s not. It finally closes right on top of him, and it’s really wide, with some kind of hollow spot, because he’s kind of inside the door itself. But now he’s on the outside so I can’t see him. After a minute, the door raises and there he is, laying on the ground with a huge gash, shaped like a big teardrop on the side of his head near his eye. I rush over to him to help, and one of his friends is pulling it open and closing it with his fingers, saying, “Look at this, look at this!” I said, “Stop doing that!” And I kneel over him, trying to keep him still and he grips my back really tight like he’s trying to hug me, and his eyes are droopy and fading out. I say, “Don’t worry, the paramedics are coming. They’ll get you out of here. Don’t worry.” But he just keeps gripping me, quietly fading out. Then the ambulance arrives and the paramedic says to me, “Man, I love it when you med students are first on the scene, you always clean up everything so nice.” I just glanced over a little and mumbled as they pulled him away from me. They got him in the ambulance and started to drive when I suddenly realized what the paramedic said to me. I turned toward the ambulance and said out loud, “There was no blood! He was drinking and there was no blood.” As if this was very significant. But they were gone and I woke up.
Those words have been going through my head for the last three or four days now. He was drinking and there was no blood. It feels like it means something, but I can’t make the connection.
It’s been a long time since I had a dream that stayed with me this long and so clearly. It’s weird. But does it mean anything? I don’t know.
So what’s the consensus? Dream Talk: good or bad? Any ideas? He was drinking. And there was NO blood.
Hot Breaking News From the Suburbs!! Rita Wears Her First Summery Outfit In Years!! Ankles EXPOSED!!
We have photo’s of this magnanimous event! I took the pictures! With my camera! She let me!
It’s true. It’s all true. Rita NEVER wears anything that goes above her elbows or the tops of her shoes. EVER. Heck, she never even wears OPEN toe shoes.
But today, for whatever reason, she showed up, at my house, with a light blouse and jeans on, that were rolled to mid-calf! And cute, little Sketcher shoes with multi-colored bands. They had a closed toe, but they were definitely summery! I am so proud of my mom!
If I can be serious for a minute, this is the first time, as an adult, I think I can remember her exposing her ankles in such a fashion. And, I might add, she looks pretty good! (The skin on her ankles is probably all freaked out though wondering what the hell happened and who dares to parade them around in the daylight!?!)
Enough of my talk talk. This is for my mom. Here’s the shots:
Hot Mama! Looking Good!
Come On People! Help me break 3000 Hits! Tonight! July 30, 2009.
Tell your friends, call your family, leave it on at work, link me to something, hook me up, pass me around…I only need 50 plus people to click on my silly stories. You know there’s fifty of you out there who like to laugh! I’m pretty funny!
We have booty pictures, fancy cars, animals, life, death, love, joy, struggles, pain, triumph…it’s all here…for free!
Hang around. Keep coming back! There’s definitely something for everyone! My words are like bacon. Everybody loves bacon!
Sitting on a Bench with some guy…
Today’s bench is brought to you from the front of Bettenhausen Dodge. Home of my auto true love. (Post should be above this one)
My girl got the crazies!
How are you celebrating Mark Buehrle Day in Illinois? Amanda?? I’m talking to YOU!
I got my ABC News picture right there, above these words. I just finished painting on my Buehrle-56-Total-Body-Art-For-One tattoo kit. I’m currently making myself a Mark Buehrle FastBall (9 shots of vodka lined up on my coffee table in front of the TV) with a chaser (5 more shots that you drink during the actual game). Then I’ll probably finish painting the kids room or throw up and pass out.
I’m just kidding. I’m not going to paint. But I do know what Amanda is doing thanks to her kiss ass phone call to my mother while my mother was still at my house.
Appreciation. Have fun sissy! I’ll need pics for future posts! Love, L.C-Bip
Bench of Love. Second Installment.
Or maybe we’ll go with Bench of the Day! Keep a theme going here. Since I have no actual theme. Or is that the theme itself?
If anything the theme is: Shit That I Did 2 Days Ago And Am Telling You About Now or Everything Is Always Two Days Ago
Maybe if I put them in italics??
Shit That I Did 2 Days Ago And Am Telling You About Now
Everything Is Always Two Days Ago
Hmmm…I’ll have to think about it. Here is today’s bench (picture taken four days ago):
Don't they look excited to be helping me with this project?!?
Update. NOW it’s gonna rain…ratsafratsa…And the Final Warrior Dash post until next years event (or at least sign-up)
It’s like thunder, lightning…the way you love me is frightening…that’s from a song, but the storm is moving in. It’s like the weather was waiting for me to finish running today. “OK, Thunderheads, she’s done. She finally got her lazy butt up and around, send in the clouds and let her rip!” Bastard Atmospheric Conditions!
Anymuddyway…These are the final pictures from that damn little mud camera with the amazing ability to take blurry pictures of hot firefighters but somehow focus in with razor sharp acuity on my ginormous ass going over a wall. (If you wanna see the butt pictures–you gonna have to search the website–I put them in a separate post–Ha!)
Here they are. Thanks A & J!
Our kingdom for a wish…
Before the race. Strolling the course. Posing so bravely.
Ooooh! Fire! Hurry!
Scary! And actually it was a little bit...it was hot, high, and 7 in the morning. We have to jump over that???
The mud. Looks nice with no one in it. Kind of like a spa!
The start.
People running with us. I'm kind of hungry...
Imagine that running on the flat ground is the easiest thing you do all day!
The hills! Killer! Seemed easy until about the twentieth one!
The junkyard cars.
Cheesecake!
My favorite part! In the forest! The steep terrain and jagged rocks! I really did like this obstacle!
Climb over a spool. Walk the plank!
From the bottom...
...and from the top!
Look at that man! Just hops right over! Where are the girls?? You gotta go look...'cause they are not in this section!
In the tubes...a mere competitor...
...Out the other side...a WARRIOR!
Swampy. Our first taste of mud and what's to come!
The mud pit. Down and dirty and in it! We are there.
We are so over it!
Firefighters. Big Hoses. Water. Yes, please.
See you all next year!!
just shy of pretty 