Brother-in-Law. J and the Lily’s. JP and the Petals. Orange Slyder.
What do all these names have in common??
They would all make rockin’ band names. One.
They all describe my brother-in-law and his landscaping. Two.
These are pictures from their house, taken a week ago. Money was spent and care was taken, so he is happy to have them out in the world. I’m sorry, but beyond the lily’s, I don’t know what any of these are called. But they sure are pretty.
Enjoy!
My fans await…
And here I am being lazy all day. Seriously lazy. It’s 3 pm and I am just now up and doing stuff. Too bad too, cause it’s really nice outside. I probably could have done tons more.
I’m adding a warning right here, before I get a call from my sister telling me how lame and annoying I am:
This post contains a long, possibly boring narrative of my days and nights since Saturday morning, before the party. Proceed with caution (and a drink for maximum enjoyment, I recommend the Vodka Mixer, but only if you’re over 21. Please drink responsibly.) if you continue. I cannot be held accountable for what you think is funny or not. End of warning.
I was awake at 10 am. And I had coffee and watched tv. I checked my e-mail because the kids both got their own e-mail accounts and they like to send messages and videos and chat back and forth even though we are all in the same house. It’s really fun. They send an e-mail, hand me the computer, I open my e-mail, read and reply, and hand the computer back to them. Only kids can give you this kind of entertainment.
Anyway, as luck would have it, they are at their dads right now (which is why I can lay around until 10 am in bed on a Monday. School is over for them and mine is on Tuesday’s) so since they are actually out of the house I knew there would be messages. And there were. Checked and replied. Drink more coffee. Watch a movie.
Ladies, (or guys), if you are going to cheat on your spouse, watch this movie first: Clash By Night
It’s surprisingly violent and straightforward. I flipped it on thinking that old movies sometimes are the best on days like this. And I was right. The poster and IMDB kind of make it seem like a Marilyn picture, but it’s not. It’s about love and the giant mess it makes when you get married, and have kids, and have lovers and families and live by that sexy ocean when it’s hot outside…but judge for yourself…that could be the Bailey’s talking.
After the movie, I decided that a shower might be nice. I was kind of hungry too, but way to lazy to make anything or even go out to get something. So I did all the personal hygiene stuff I like to do when the kids and BF are gone, played some Pocket Poker (lost everything) and moved onto the mail and the couch. It’s windy and keeps trying to rain. I wish it would because then I don’t have to feel guilty about sitting inside like a hermit.
After the paperwork I had to do was done, I moved onto laundry, and vacuuming. This is gripping reading I know. (Shut up! Aman-duh!) I am just now getting the house back to it’s pre-party condition. Not that there was a big mess or anything. My sisters and family toatally helped clean up! Thank you! I just like to remove our daily living paraphernalia from the public view. But, you have to put it all back because you find out you need it at hand. Stuff like, my food journal, and bills, and magazines and school books, things like that.
Speaking of the party…it was good. Really good I thought. Party was scheduled to start at 2 pm. It rained at exactly 2 pm.
But then it stopped and warmed up just enough for everyone to go outside. I’d say a majority of those invited actually came. Very successful. You never know with these kinds of things. You want the party to NOT be a disaster. It’s really all you can hope for. The food arrived, everyone ate, drank, socialized, and left. Last people out were my sisters. 11 pm ish, I think. Not bad at all.
Sunday morning was raining a bit. Mason had grass to cut. Another job! Then we went to the movies. Land of the Lost
It’s not bad. But it’s not worth paying full price unless you really LOVE Will Ferrell. There are some really funny parts and some that just aren’t. Also, alot of swearing and jokes and visuals that might be a little too adult for the younger crowd. Mine are 10 and 11 and I was cringing a few times and working up the explanations in my head.
We had a gift card so it wasn’t too bad. The food cost more than the admission! Bleah! Then we motored the children on over to their daddy’s. The BF and I watched Mr and Mrs Smith for the gazillionth time, ate food and hit the sack. And here I sit today.
Laundry is cooking, books are waiting, pictures need posting…I could spice up the story with some sordid little details about how I earned a buck-oh-two on Saturday night, or what vodka, 7-up and bags of ice brought to the party Sunday night, but I bet you can think of a million better things than I could come up with, including the truth. This site is interactive! YOU tell ME and I’ll let you know if you’re close.
Which reminds me, my brothers favorite movie is coming on tv soon. You can’t handle the truth! At least I think it still is. I personally don’t care for the “Jack” myself but I try to be nice. I prefer his other favorite Keyser Söze. I’m not sure why, but if it’s on tv I watch it, no matter where in the story or what time it is. I’ve watched it at 4 in the morning on Christmas Eve. Why is it even on at that time?? It’s a sickness.
Alright look around for some pictures. I have more stuff to come, including a caterpillar update. What are those crazy cocoons up to?? You know you want to know.
Find out! Later!
Ass Water, Slyder and Freddy. I hate when nights end like this!
How DO some people get their cute little nicknames?
Take two parts alcohol, a late running party, one over-tired kid, and a bag of BK cheeseburgers. Fold in one ingredient after another and try to have an innocent conversation. Then mishear one word and suddenly everyone has a new nickname and the night has taken a seriously wrong turn.
It probably won’t SEEM funny typed out here…and I’m sure my sister will be calling any second to tell me how NOT funny I am, but let’s try!
Sissy and hubby come home from party I babysat for with BF and kids. Girl is sleeping. Boy is ready to go. I say, “Ready Freddy?” He says, “Who’s Freddy?” My sissy says, “You now. We’re going to start calling you Freddy…hahahaha…”
Lots of laughs, extra jokes, T-shirts will be made…the whole thing.
As we are leaving, my boy says, “Bye Aunty Amanda” My sister hears, “Bye Aunty Enema” “What? What did you say? Did you say enema?” Laughing of course, because it’s funny. And it did sound like that. We all make a joke about enemas…and my son says, “What’s an enema?” We basically fall over each other to tell him, water up the butt.
“You just called Aunty the water you put up your ass”
Yes, here it comes. Are you laughing? “You just called Aunty ‘Ass Water’ ”
That WAS funny. We all laughed, and I said that would be her new nickname. We could put that on a shirt.
The hubby already had the Slyder nickname from a motorcycle mishap early in his riding career. The “Y” just adds that extra level of cool.
The BF pointed out that the three names makes an excellent group together. And here’s where you all came in, hence the headline. Sounds…intriguing, does it not? Are you side-splitting? Pictures might help.
Then my son expanded it out, so he could say it without getting in trouble, to “Aunty Ass (as in donkey) Water” It still got the laughs, but by then the booze was wearing off, and we had an hour to drive. Another family memory noted in our collective books and saved here forever on the internets.
Was it as good for you as it was for us?? Yeah right. I recommend pouring yourself a LARGE shot of Vodka (or whatever liquor floats the boat), and then RE-READ. Is it funny now? No? Repeat above step until it is! Then you can drunk-type me with YOUR new nickname and I PROMISE, I WILL laugh!! Swear.
Get to bed. School and work people. We’ll have fun after that! See you tomorrow. Love you Ass Water…I mean, Amanda. Goodnight!
Learning all kinds of new tricks!
I know I’ve been doing this about 4 months now, but I need LOTS of time to learn, use, embrace, cherish and share the technology I come across. Most things, almost everyone that can work a mouse, already knows, but I have been blind to. Ah, regrets.
Anyway, I’ve been off a few days putting out fires…THAT I STARTED!! Lesson to self…STOP BURNING SH*T!! But I think everything is OK now. Now I can get back to boring my very limited audience in all the mundane, stupid things I do all day, every day. Lucky.
Today I: (sister style) (please check back later for a post explaining her newly acquired nickname—see if you can figure out which one it is!—we had FUN over the weekend!!)
1. Checked E-mail.
2. Paid some bills.
3. Balanced checkbooks.
4. Went to doctor. (First of my physical exams/tests/etc…that I need for school!! Went smooth! Accomplished much. Yay! Love helping other people….hate going to the doc myself.)
5. Went to final Honor Roll Assembly for year at kids school. (Missed Stevie’s[10:15 am], made Mason’s[1:30 pm]. Actually almost didn’t make it to the later one because there was a scuffle at the bank I stopped at to deposit a check. Crazy. I was soooo sorry I sent my check up that little tube and was stuck sitting there waiting for my stuff. This was outside too! I thought for sure cops were going to pull up any minute…anyway, I got to leave after like 10 minutes so I have to check the news later and see if anything went down…)
Oh yeah…and the kids both got High Honors AND medals for having High Honors all year, every semester. Plus Perfect Attendence. Good job guys!!!
6. Mailed bills.
7. Picked up kids.
8. Went over to BF’s Mom’s to take out garbage and what not…(she had minor foot surgery in case you forgot–she’s ok).
9. Went to CVS. (Snacks—starving!! Didn’t want to eat in case I needed fasting blood work, and then kind of ran out of time–bought really healthy stuff like Trail Mix, but actually ate Cheese Puffs…staying on the track ain’t easy…)(Also, check back for another, later post about the huge mistake I made at the Fuddrucker’s eating Establishment…wasn’t quite “eating-until-I-die”…but it wasn’t the “healthiest choice” (even though I thought it might be at the time) either.).
(What’s up with all these parenthesis and periods??)
10. Typing now, while kids are outside traumatizing innocent catepillars just trying to metamorphisize into beautiful butterflies. They just came flying into the house (the kids) to tell me that, “There are five, OMG, five MOMMY!!! Monarchs!!”
“Do we have a container to put them in?”
“Do we have a new sponge to make them food?”
Apparently, caterpillar diet is the naturally occuring, sugar-water-on-a-cut-up-sponge.
“No, mom, that’s just what we fed them in class.” Oh. Never raised butterflies at school. I missed out.
OMG!! For real….I have been SUCKED in! My neighbor and the kids are creating a caterpillar nursery in a milk jug and sponges and sugar water and sticks and nets for cocoons…and they really are so interesting and creepy at the same time. There are 8 so far that are crawling all over the ground between our two houses. NEW UPDATE: just in the last 5 minutes: There are 11 now. Eleven orphan caterpillars.
I have to go look up caterpillar/butterfly care/housing on the internet RIGHT NOW! But I’ll be back later. Here’s the first pics of our new family below.
I’m also going to post a YouTube video–my original intent—Video Remake/Bonnie Tyler/Total Eclipse of the Heart (one of my favs as you know if you’ve been reading any of my music lists). Re-done, funny and clever!—that’s after the Nursery pics!
Enjoy a song while you wait for more updates!
Sunday Morning
After re-reading that questionable Friday/Saturday ranting post, I feel as if I may have been drunk and crazy while typing.
It’s weird because it doesn’t make alot of sense, and it looks all scattery. I wasn’t even a little intoxicated. In fact, I didn’t drink anything alcoholic all day. Just coffee and water.
Let’s just say that I was, and never go back.
The party for my nephew was rocking. Not at all lame or boring. (Here’s to you J and A!) The presents were a hit of course, and the food was good. My sissy had cupcakes and mini-eclairs as birthday cake. ALWAYS an excellent choice. You can never go wrong with desserts you can put into your mouth whole. We stayed too late, and then stayed up a little later after we got home. Had to do something to work that pastry out of the system…
The only thing I didn’t get to do was play my music. Boo Hoo. I really don’t mind, I can always use it at my nieces graduation party we will be hosting in 2 weeks (8th grade–so it’s perfectly aged)
I will post it later for the masses. It’s really a good combo, and this is the season for it. I’ll even throw in the Mud Bug Boil play list, another one for the same family that I slaved on and never got played, but it’s good for the older mixed crowd. I had yesterday’s list named Birthday Party, but I guess I’ll just trim it up to Party or Popular Party or something that indicates a “younger” type party, but not baby, or kegger…don’t you love when I type the exact thing I’m thinking? I know Amanda does. That’s what makes this so interesting and exciting that people would want to read it over and over, and then post a comment about how very cool and interesting it is, because I’m just SO exciting and NOT stupid. Ha.
Take a look at the picture below. It is a helicopter that you control on an arm and try to pick up a cargo box with. My brother, the engineer, got it for my 4-year old nephew as his birthday present. Two hours later and one battery change in, he (my brother) finally figured out how to make it pick up the box. The pick-up hook attached to the underbelly of the helicopter actually EXTENDS. One more time around, and…hooked! Up it went. I took photo proof so all those years of schooling wouldn’t be a complete waste…Next time, Tom, just buy the kid a talking firetruck.
Here’s to you my brother:
New and Improved, EXCITING Website! This is the BEST and MOST interesting page EVER!
My sister doesn’t think my web-blog is interesting. She wants to know just what is so “great” about…this…”Just you writing down all the boring dumb things you do everyday? Who F****** cares?”
Well.
Even after all my shout-outs to her and her favorite sports baseball team, her mad hair cutting skills, her awesome kids and hubby, her parties that are only slightly lame but with fabulous food, AND on the day she comes to pick up HER dog that I have been watching for ONE WEEK so she could go to the Dells for the “weekend”, and she tells me I basically suck. Nice mouth.
(A picture of her dog is below. Named, Juneau. At least he’s cool.)
So in honor of her and spicing up this post, I am going to relate the story of how I almost lost a limb yesterday dangerously cutting logs with an old rusty circular saw, no safety goggles and inadequate insurance coverage!
My boyfriend thinks its pretty gruesome too. It’s so terrible that I don’t think any small children should even be NEAR the computer while you are reading this, they’ll sense the horrific nature of the text wafting off of you and have nightmares for weeks…my children were right next to me at the time of the “incident” and I cannot be responsible for any more children suffering the same type of trauma mine experienced. I won’t be a part of it. I WON’T!
No, no, no…I can’t post it. I just can’t!
This is the stuff of late night tv movies after too many drinks, when you’re all alone in your house, towards the end of a long, hot, summer; uncomfortable in the sticky heat, with the windows open and no wind; darkness so thick it feels heavy and wet; involving vampires, werewolves and creatures from the Black Lagoon. Full moons and blood everywhere; pasty men and pastier women: all bad lighting, scratchy film and shaky sound. It’s TOO unbelievable.
Instead, I am going to type out my to-do list for today.
Trust me, it’s equally frightening and double exciting. Ready?
1. Walk kids to school
2. Do laundry
3. Clean bathroom
4. Dust
5. Vacuum house
6. Clean kitchen/utility floor
7. Paint trim
8. Call school about appt.
9. Call Mom
10. Get snacks for Stevie’s Movie Night at school
11. Input CD’s
12. Run trail
13. Take kids to Cheerleader’s Competition for support, as part of Basketball Team
14. Answer call from sister, telling me what an A**hole I am. (That’s the frightening part!)
Thanks Amanda for all your support! You can’t see it, but I’m flipping you the BIRD! (Exciting too, huh?) As promised.
I Love You!
Be sure and visit this site tomorrow where I’ll be posting my GROCERY list! You DON’T want to miss it!
just shy of pretty 