New Feature!! Weird Shit That You Find Around Your House
I apologize for the graphic nature of my headline…but I needed to GRAB your attention!!
After lounging around the pool all weekend and reading the “Star” Magazine and “US Weekly”, I have decided that I will no longer be just a “blogger”.
No, no, no. I read the gossip about Ashley Olsen and how weird she is, by a source who WAS revealed. Revealed by himself, but still. And he wasn’t just some guy on the street, or some guy on the same plane, as it turns out, with a celebrity. He (I don’t remember the name) referred to himself as a Manhattan-Based Internet Personality.
So please, from now on, I am a “CHICAGO-Based Internet Personality.” That’s right. I’m a somebody. I’m a STAR! And here’s my first stellar post as an “Internet Personality”:
What the hell is this?? We found it on the floor in the utility room. No one knows what or where it came from. But in the interest of world-wide celebrity, I thought of my adoring fans-to-be and put it here, for you, to speculate upon while basking in my fabulous, “personality”.
You are welcome.
It's flexible, plastic and rubbery feeling. It stretches if you pull it without breaking. Looks like it fits into something or around something, like an inlay, but we couldn't find anything missing a rubbery, 3-loop thingy. Mysterious. Weird Shit!
Huh. You Tube has everything. Video of a song I have on my “running” playlist. Didn’t know.
Sorry. I’m a little late to the whole Pixie’s thing…
Day Quote. Or, “The Case Of The Man Who Was So Stressed Out That He Thought He Lost His Keys And Ended Up Having A Heart Attack.”
“Zero Effect” Special Edition
I always say that the essence of my work relies fundamentally on two basic principles: objectivity and observation, or “the two obs” as I call them. My work relies on my ability to remain absolutely, purely objective, detached. I have mastered the fine art of detachment. And while it comes at some cost, this supreme objectivity is what makes me, I dare say, the greatest observer the world has ever known.
—Daryl Zero
I can’t possibly overstate the importance of good research. Everyone goes through life dropping crumbs. If you can recognize the crumbs, you can trace a path all the way back from your death certificate to the dinner and a movie that resulted in you in the first place. But research is an art, not a science, because anyone who knows what they’re doing can find the crumbs, the wheres, whats, and whos. The art is in the whys: the ability to read between the crumbs, not to mix metaphors.
—Daryl Zero
Now, a few words on looking for things. When you go looking for something specific, your chances of finding it are very bad. Because of all the things in the world, you’re only looking for one of them. When you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are very good. Because of all the things in the world, you’re sure to find some of them.
—Daryl Zero
A few words here about following people. People know they’re being followed when they turn around and see someone following them. They can’t tell they’re being followed if you get there first.
—Daryl Zero
And now for a little bit of dialogue:
Steve Arlo:
There aren’t evil guys and innocent guys. It’s just… It’s just… It’s just a bunch of guys.
Daryl Zero:
I did find one other thing of interest, though.
Steve Arlo:
Holy shit, those are the keys. You found the gold Swiss Army knife.
Daryl Zero:
I know.
Steve Arlo:
And this is the safe deposit box key. Where’d you find them?
Daryl Zero:
They were in the sofa, under the cushion.
Steve Arlo:
What?
Daryl Zero:
They were stuck in the couch in his office.
Steve Arlo:
Was he hiding them there? Is that possible?
Daryl Zero:
Not possible. That’s where they fell out of his pocket, over a year ago.
Steve Arlo:
So… what do you make of this?
Daryl Zero:
I think that just as I feared, Ms. Sullivan doesn’t know a thing about these keys.
Steve Arlo:
Wait–the keys are a coincidence?
Daryl Zero:
Yes.
Steve Arlo:
That’s–confusing.
Daryl Zero:
Yep.
Steve Arlo:
Doesn’t seem like a good thing.
Daryl Zero:
Sure it is. It’s good because the man has been looking for his keys for a year. And I’ve found them.
And finally, wrapping up this special edition Day Quote Segment:
After investigating her, I found myself in better shape than ever before in my life. To me, she will always be a singular unforgettable event, the only time I ever took leave of my objectivity. Perhaps the most able blackmailer of her time, she was at once the worthiest opponent and the greatest ally, and the only woman I have ever… the only woman, period. And though I never would’ve anticipated it, in the end she did for me what I have done for so many: help solve a problem, first by observation, then by careful intervention – in other words, the Zero Effect.
—Daryl Zero
Now go see the movie!
Cool Word of the Day!
Exile (noun)
Definition: Forced or self-imposed removal from one’s native country: banishment; One who has left or been driven from his or her country.
Last Thursday Exercise, P.M. Version. Update Post!
We went back! We had to. After running, biking, and scootering the trail, we went and did some “activities”. Some good, some bad, some badder…yikes! Don’t despair. We didn’t take any pictures.
Catch up here if you want, or just keep reading.
After we got home from the first exercise segment, we changed and went bowling! Kids Bowl Free! All summer courtesy of the bowling alley they had leagues at. So there’s the good, until…the snacks! Ugh! Fried appetizers and spinach dip with fried chips and soda! We ate it all. We bowled our games. We drove home feeling yucky and like we wasted a workout. The bad! Back to the trail!
It had rained/stormed while we were on our way to bowling, but now it was humid, sticky and buggy. We managed approximately, generously, to get about a mile of walking in until we headed back to the car and on to the badder!
Oh yeah. Baskin Robbins baby! We have to pass it to get home. So we obliterated the day with some scoops for our poops. And it was good!
But before I leave you with that sad tale of woe, check it out: Going back to the Forest Preserve got me Lucky Number 13 on the Challenger Posts!
Blue and Beautiful and Below:
Dodge Challenger. Lucky Number 13
In my favorite color.
I’ve seen one that was a deep, midnight blue, but I couldn’t get a picture.
This is nice too.
Wacky Water Weekend With… / Friday Fun
So, after Mason cut all his grasses on Friday, we went to do my “Friday Fun Family Summer Project”.
Which as you may recall, I teased you with a few days ago…Benches of Love….???
Tinley Park, Illinois, just a few towns over from my own, has a lovely downtown area with shops and restaurants and a train station, businesses, etc., etc. They also have decorated benches. You know, the kind you sit on. I think they are kind of cool and I thought that we could go and park the car at one end of the main street, have a little snack and then walk up and down and take pictures of all the different designs. We could get ice cream?!? And it’s free! (The walking and picture-taking, not the ice cream) After a bit of wha..wha..wha…we went.
My other idea was to post the pictures one day at a time…kind of like…Bench of the Day, while my kids are gone. Again. On yet another vacation with their daddy. This time Monticello, IN. Indiana Beach. They go every year. And while they are gone….
See??…something to look at! I have pics with and without children. We will mix it up so you’ll never know which is coming!! Exciting AND unpredictable!!
Here’s the first one, kind of relevant to summer and the movies, “Star Trek, USS Enterprise”:
Wacky Water Weekend With… / Saturday Swim
The Birthday Pool Party!
What a nice day! Not too hot, not too sunny…although I got pretty scorched along with my brother-in-law, that semi-cloud cover can be deceiving…
They belong to a Park District Pool where they live and Elexa’s B-day Party was there! Friends, family, food, fun…the usual.
This place had many pool areas: a party room, snack bar, diving boards, a drop chute, water slides (2) open/semi-closed, slow/fast, kids or adults. Nothing crazy. Some Lily Pad jump things, Dumping Buckets of Water, and Sprays. The kids loved it.
(I did the slides, the drop chute and the high dive, making me the coolest mom who participated and didn’t just sit on the sidelines…their words, not mine.)
One more time:
Happy Birthday Elexa!
Happy Birthday Jesse!
Birthday girls (to the left) and an extra to the right
The high dive
The drop chute
Lily pads with slides in the background
Better water slide shot with extra ACTION!
Party food
Party kids
Party Over! See you next year!
just shy of pretty 