Attempting a “quick” post. Yeah right.
Hopefully. Had school today. Told my joke. It was funny enough.
Maybe you want it? There’s a blonde on one side of a river, and another blonde on the opposite side of the river. The blonde on the right yells to the other blonde, “How did you get on the other side of the river??” And the other blonde yells back, “You’re already there!” Ha and Ha.
Lots of good ones were given! Didn’t buy any more books. Going to check online and buy the rest there. I have the main ones so its ok for now.
Driving home I find out I have to take my mom for her eye surgery at 6:30 am. Which means I need to be at her house by 5:30 am. Which means I have to leave my house at 4:45 am. Which means I get to see every spectacular shooting star and debris from the meteor shower at the most opportune time of all the viewing hours here in North America! Click here for the link. Just making lemonade out of my lemons! I actually think that meteors are pretty cool. Pray for good weather. No clouds or rain please!! I don’t want to be getting up just in the plain old dark!! I need entertainment!
After I got home I changed and did a quick (ha) five mile run around the neighborhood. My goal is less than one hour for the 5-mile race on Labor Day. I did one hour and 15 seconds, non-stop, except where I got stuck at lights going across a main road. (There was too much traffic for me to just run across) So based on today’s jog, I believe I can easily achieve my goal. I probably would have been under by about a minute or two save for the stoplights. Promising!!
That led me to a cool down walk where I found change (oh yeah!) Street Money next!
And that led me to coming into the house to do a quick weigh-in. Shouldn’t have done that! No good. Not losing. I know why. Too much crap. The days are ok, but dinner just sucks. Greasy spoon hot dogs, pizza, quesadillas and guac, ice cream, McDonald’s! It’s not enough to run and bike, I gotta eat healthy. And I have really fallen off the wagon. (I think my legs look really good now though. They feel solid and muscular and look good in shorts (all my opinion) but who else’s should really matter??) Anymodestway…
It also led me to here, the internet, where I wanted to post, but not really because I can never keep it short enough! As I opened the WordPress page there was a picture of delicious looking chocolate cake, right on the front! How terrible of them, and right at dinnertime when people are out there sweating and starving. Anyway, I click on it of course, and the site is full of good looking food and recipes and amazing photos and so I included it in my side bar. You can click here for the fast version. You know it has a complicated name. I listed it as Beautiful Food. Very elegant though. Again, makes mine look like the ramblings of a crazy out patient, but we can all have our space in the airwaves. I will be using it as my food porn because I have to cut it back down before the race. Dr. Ian I’m looking at you! And your Extreme Fat Smash. Just for the three weeks. Then BFL. Life on the hamster wheel!
Alright, one more bad dinner is on the way, so I better finish up. I haven’t forgotten all the other stuff, I’m just losing time. Let me end with a lite joke from class today for when you are feeling like life sucks and it can’t get any worse (it can always get worse). This is no reflection on me at this particular moment, things are stable, but you can see the relevance for the future:
The Toothbrush says, “Somedays I feel like I have the worst job in the whole world!”
“Ya, right.” says the Toilet Paper.
A picture to jazz up the long paragraphs.
It’s my school. In the winter. With snow. They only shovel half the stairs. I don’t know why.
(I was just looking at my phone camera and just wait until tomorrow(??) I have “Power Line” photos!! We went back to that trail on Sunday!)
When last you heard from me, I was on my way to school…
…with high hopes for the rest of the evening. When suddenly…Tequila! (And that was TWO days ago.)
I did go to school. I got the “pre-heads-up” to the actual “heads-up” classes I have next week. Signed some paperwork. Got some questions answered. Payed for classes. Bought more books. Drove home excited as hell, but unaware of the complicated nature of what I am about to embark upon.
I have three books and a syllabus right now, and I have three more books to buy. Definitely the most I have needed so far. When I trained for EMT I was on an adrenaline rush for hours after every single class, for like 4-6 months. It was crazy. And I have that same crazy feeling just looking at these books. Two years and god knows how many hours are about to go into this program, but I am ready. I’m not sure my body can take the intensity. I had trouble sleeping before, but I guess that will just help me on the job! I talked so much on the phone to the BF just driving home from a pre-class class, that I, “low-battery-powered-off”, the cell phone. The damn thing drained out good. First time I talked to the cut-off. Even after I plugged it back in it wouldn’t turn on for a little while.
So I take a closer look at this new book. Calculating With Confidence. Drug calculations, measurements, math conversions…OMG, it looks hard. Drug labels, syringes, pills, liquids, fractions, decimals, cc. mL. mg. oz. You need: Aspirin gr 10 p.o. q4h p.r.n. for pain. You have: Drug label, that suddenly makes no sense whatsoever. And tell me how much, with how much diluent, time of day, route of administration, but don’t forget who you are giving it to, how much they weigh, what else they are taking; now mark it on the drawing, and don’t “F” it up because you could kill someone…. I’m paraphrasing…but that’s the idea. Once you take off the plastic shrink wrap, the front cover has a skull and crossbones on it. They don’t want you to see that until it’s too late. And you thought that the nurse handing you two Tylenol in the hospital after dinner didn’t require any skill. HA!
The amazing thing is, that in 2 months, that book is going to make perfect sense, and I’ll be calculating in my sleep (not literally), but for now…we better go to Pepe’s and think about the future.
So the guy that has been working there since he was a child, really, (I know, because we as a family, collectively have been going there for his whole life basically, I even remember a time when he was out in the parking lot trying to drive off in his older brothers car…he got in trouble for that…) anypepestoryway…this kid/adult now (Ricky? The name would not come to me, don’t judge, I’m approaching 40, but Mason and Stevie both agree, yes, on the name) made me a killer, and I mean KILLER margarita. I took 4 drinks and I was feeling the heat. By one third gone, I was TWO thirds gone. I wish I could say I was joking, because I was getting “altered” and fast. (My teeth were numb and I tried to walk out of the clear glass panel NEXT to the door, when I left the restaurant) I ate some chips and salsa and some shrimp cocktail on crackers and a tamale and a chili rellano but food was failing me fast, so I concentrated on finishing the medium margarita that, based on my morning calculations of how-long-it-takes-my-body-to-filter-out-the-alcohol (years of research have perfected this system) there must have been at least, 5 shots of tequila in my drink. I can say that with confidence because I was still slightly drunk at 7:30 in the morning. And I even tried to move the alcohol along with activity and oxygen before I fell into dreamy-drunky sleep the night before but sometimes you can’t keep a good buzz down, or up, or whatever. End of story.
I dragged myself up, took out the garbage, diluted my remaining blood level of tequila with coffee, and watched Regis & Kelly with Pat Tomasulo subbing for Regis (!!) I wrote it on the calendar! Busy schedule, yeah yeah, I’ll be working soon enough and you’ll miss these long, rambling posts. (More Pat Stuff)
The Pat Down. For your enjoyment. And since this is Chicago, we have 2 newspapers…here’s the Trib version. Ok, I think I’m done now.
Then I really pushed the limit with a five mile run. Five point one something something, to be exact. I ran the water bill to the Village Hall, which maps out at 5+ miles. MapMy Run.com. 30 minutes there. 34 minutes back. One hour, four minutes. I will take it. I ran on the sidewalks. Concrete, hard on the shins with lots of hills, (dang Park Forest doesn’t have a completely flat spot 10 steps in a row), and chock full of tripping hazards. Broken cement, uneven, crooked, weeds, rocks…I’m not sure what the village is doing all the time. It seems like they dig holes in random spots all around town just so there’s something for the kids to fall into. At any rate. I was done for the day. Kids got home about 3 ish and we ate ice cream and talked about all they did last week. Stevie made cupcakes! First time on her own and no crunchy ones from egg shells! (So far) So proud. Then dinner and a movie. (Burgers on the grill and Smokey and the Bandit from Netflix) unpack the bags, go to bed and poof! Here we are. Today.
I’m going to skip the run today, maybe go take a walk at the nature trail if I can get the kids out there. Mason has grass to finish and we are open. I have the pictures you have been waiting for…I didn’t forget, it’s just time and energy and getting them off the cell phone. I even have video! The kids wanted to play in the water, but we don’t have a pool. We have a hose. So they filled up larger, plastic, Tupperware bowls and put their faces in them or dumped them over their heads. They would swim in a wet sponge if they could. Then they played water-hose-jump-rope, which is actually pretty funny. So that’s coming too! And all that other stuff I said I had…Remember my theme: Everything is always two days ago!
Cupcakes!
Half with sprinkles, half without! Tasty!
Trophy Post!
Here they are! One beautiful trophy after another. (I tried to photograph for dramatic effect.)
First up…the elusive Mason Basketball Trophy! The Crown Jewel of our growing collection. First school team, with official uniforms and referees!
After that, Bowling. (There were trophies) Fourth place. Still, it’s a trophy. That was back in April. We were holding out for the basketball so we could do them all together. I don’t know why.
Then, more Basketball Trophies. Four years of Community League. Might as well throw them in. They look good and it makes the site more picturesque. Posted forever in posterity or for at least as long as the power stays on.
There were also some Swimming ribbons and a plaque, but I couldn’t find them in the kids stuff. So far, we have three sports represented and we aren’t even out of middle school yet! Enjoy the pics!
Second Nursing Book Ya’ll!!!
Here it is my second week into the “program”, and I have my second book!! Maybe not everyone is excited about spending money for books and school, but I am just excited as Hell!
I don’t mean to say that the money doesn’t give me a heart attack, because it does—these books ARE NOT cheap. BUT, they say you use them for 2 years and you will continue to use them throughout your life, so I say it’s a worthy investment in MY future. And yours too, actually.You WANT me to be smart and up to date right?? No one wants to be at the hospital getting procedures done in garden gloves using a pen case.
I don’t want to go on and on, and soon I won’t have the time for it anyhow…but I am really happy for the opportunity I am about to embark on…learning to give YOU an enema! And, you, a Catheter! I will be begging for the days of sponge baths and linen changes!
The book I just bought is Basic Nursing. It’s exciting and scary at the same time. I know I keep using that word…Exciting! I am anxious to learn but a bit nervous too. I love flipping through the text, and imagining how much more I’ll know in 6 months. And then how much MORE in the next 6. And in 6 after that…It’s cool, and I’m ready. The book is here next to me, just like the first, and I guess it really won’t EVER be leaving my side. (One more time…exciting! That will be the last for today, I promise–here, anyway)
But I have alot more to do today. So, changing tracks…I have to go get groceries…woohoo…for you sissy…I’ll spare ya’ the list though.
As some of you may or may not know, we’re having a grad party here Saturday for my niece. 8th grade! High school is next. Party is here and I need some stuff, plus the kids have just 3 stinking days left of school, but I’m out of lunch material…so close.
I need to exercise sometime…still have training to do and that whole 20 pound thing I set for myself…plus I need to modify my diet for fatness, sickness and zitty rashness. Let me explain. The fatness, pretty much is what it says. Cut out the foods that are making me fat, I’m talking to you Fuddruckers and Pizza—adds pounds AND as a bonus that apparently comes with the new age bracket I’m about to enter…these foods make me SICK. Literally. Heartburn, indigestion, sweaty, crampy, bloaty, gassy, dizzy and nauseous. I WISH I was exaggerating. I NEVER used to get sick from food or have heartburn or gas or any of that, and I was pregnant twice with no ill effects (believe me, I know how lucky I was).
For a laugh–now–check this post out–yuk. Never doing that again!!
The last part is this new zitty rashy thing I have going, but just sometimes. I noticed it after I switched my diet from regular fast food/junk to Body For Life. Healthy, carb-protein balance, whole grains, low-fat, etc…Lost the weight but gained a red, rashy, itchy area on my face. Looks like acne accelerated. Never had a problem before. I narrowed it down to wheat products. Not severe or anything, but just annoying enough that I knew something was up. Extreme Fat Smash really zeroed in on the prob. Follow it exactly and it’s mostly vegetarian. Salad, Yogurt, Beans and RICE. That’s key. I have no trouble with rice, it’s the bread, pasta, cracker, wheat/flour based stuff that seems to give me the itches. So, long story longer. I am in my second day of trying to avoid ALL wheat products to eat. So far, so good. It’s harder than you think. I can get away with, like one sandwich, or one thing like pizza crust, but after that, the area right around my nostril starts itching and then right along my frown lines—for reference–I really don’t HAVE wrinkles and lines and all that—wimper–that’s just where the itching would be…oh forget it…you know, it itches and gets red and it looks like I have a rash around my mouth area on the cheeks. I’ve eliminated topical things like makeup and soap. Same products for years no change. It has to be the food. So big whoop anyway. I don’t need to eat all that stuff. It’s too many calories, and as we all know (see above) I don’t know when to stop!
My sympathies and extreme RESPECT to all you moms or dads or brothers/sisters/grands/selves…whoever…who HAVE to be so cautious and avoid even specks of wheat or it could be illness for weeks or death. You have a hard path to follow and one day I hope it won’t be an issue anymore for anyone. It’s just amazing that food for life can be inherently threatening. And all I’m worried about is a rash.
Anyway, my point was to be funny and end on the note that while I was typing this I was eating my weight in scrambled eggs. Just eggs and milk in butter with a little cheese. I add all the ingredients so I know what’s in it. And now I have to go work it off. (At the store–remember about 5 paragraphs ago?–I talk way too much)
So that’s it, let me get out before the kids come home. I’m sure something MORE boring and mind-numbing will occur and I can spend another hour typing later. Just you wait!
Meanwhile, enjoy these pictures of a Bulldog they had at the pet store. If we were going to get a dog, this breed was the one we all unanimously agreed on. And here was one for sale! Impulse purchase! I told my son, if this particular dog was UNDER $1000, I would buy him on the spot. I don’t know why. Can’t afford it, don’t want to train it, but I felt at that moment I would. I would do everything that I had to….they must have been pumping something into the air that day…but we checked and ultimately went home empty handed. Hopefully someone with more disposable income gave him a home. He really was adorable.
And fyi–You know I’m gonna tell you—that dog cost $3299. Yes. THREE THOUSAND, three hundred.
Today is the day!
It’s Friday. It’s beautiful. The sun was shining through my children’s window in such a way that it makes you feel like everything will be ok.
Not to say that anything is bad…it’s just that kind of day. If you can’t take the sap this early, I understand. Check back later for the post about my Wednesday Church experience. No cheese included. That’s kind of weirdly ionic huh? Sun=Peace. Church=No peace.
Back to today:
I found a dime, walking the kids to school (separate post).
I took a shower, fresh shampoo, fresh soap, fresh fragrance…I feel really clean, like, squeaky clean, AND I used a new deodorant that smells like Florida! The good Florida. Beachy, sunny, oceany, sexy southern sultry, steam off the street…man I miss that place…
Anyway, I’m posting a bit, catching up. Update the daily life and what I’m doing. I’ve been busy with actual out-of-the-house stuff. Had to get more school related paperwork, make 10 different appointments for body checks, myself and the kiddies, run to the drug store for cards and snacks and special lunch for my daughter who has 5th grade picnic, take the boyfriends mom to the doc, pick up prescriptions, take the mom back to the doc, talk to my mom, my sis, my niece, my ex, my exes ex….you know, just stuff.
One school year ends, another begins. My son is going into 6th grade! Jr. High! So exciting. He’s visiting the school today to see how it looks, get a feel for lockers, and changing classes, and being a teenager. Then he gets to have Basketball Pizza Party after school. Still no trophies though. He says Tuesday. I haven’t forgotten. I have the post all ready, just need to throw in the pictures. I know every single one of you is dying to see those Bowling and Basketball trophies. Stay tuned!
I have one more doc trip with the BF mom’s today at noonish, then I can hit the trail and wait for my daughter to get home.
I have to run, even though I’m plodding out there like a hippo in the heat. It’s pathetic. It feels pathetic. Every step, I just want to stop. But now I have to go to the doc’s this Monday and I don’t want to weigh too much. If you are still following my, “Lose 20 lbs. by Warrior Dash” extravaganza, here’s the update: I have to lose 2 pounds just to get down to the original weight I wanted to lose 20 from. So I’m working on that, but nature is battling against me. It’s like the perfect storm of weight gain. Natures gift wreaking havoc, bad dinners, late nights, early mornings…It sucks. I have to stop eating and try to live on coffee and breath mints until Monday for my “fake weight” at the doc’s, and then work on the real thing next week. I know, I know, It’s not healthy, it’s not a good example, but who cares. Those medical records follow you around FOREVER! I can’t be overweight every single time! It’s soul crushing! The good thing is that I am actually about 20+ lbs. down from the last time I was there, so it still looks good, but for my personal self and all you people—still too heavy. Plus, I can’t be running around an obstacle course with flabby arms and a weak belly. I want to look all cut and sexy covered in mud and sweat and swamp water. Wouldn’t you?
Now that I’ve really sidetracked…let’s see…the BF is playing Poker with the buds later, so dinner is all me and the kids. So how many people out there think it’s going to be chicken breast and brown rice. Uh huh. More like Taco Bell and Baskin Robbins…see what I’m up against? I guess I’ll just eat and throw up. Not. Please check the following post about that BAD IDEA. I just tell myself, don’t eat THAT much. Am I a F…ing idiot??? Sometimes.
I’m so far behind here. Let me wrap this up. School, Exercise, Posting, Dinner, Weekend Parties, Movies, Popcorn, Ice Cream…that sound about right.
Church post, Flower post, Money post, Mason New Toy Post, Cool Word, Quote, and Music List.
No trophies, no weight loss.
Pictures WILL be included.
Chicago is sunny and 70. It really is a beautiful day.
Check back here later for a laugh or two, but get outside if you can.
Later gators!
just shy of pretty 