There IS death in the cup…Beware!
Death in the cup by way of Vodka and Pepsi. Aren’t I smart?
Had such a good day yesterday, just hanging out at home, and posting silly stuff on the internets, and then I had to go and ruin it by trying to eat myself to death and drinking the vodkas and the pepsi’s.
Seriously, I thought that I would have to go to the hospital. I stuffed every last single piece of pizza into my mouth that I could ferret out of the large pizza box. If you’re hand was anywhere near the zone of the pizza box you would have gotten hurt. Then, I was chugging down Pepsi and Vodka, it was good, better than popsicles and vodka, but even more filling.
By the time I was done sucking every last drop of Pepsi from the 2-liter and picking every crusty olive and onion off the cardboard and watching the last episode of 2½ Men/Season 3 (CLIFF hanger!), I was over. I was paralyzed and in a food coma. Not even a coma, because in a coma I would have been sleeping. This was like being pregnant again. A giant ball in the middle of my stomach that I couldn’t move or manuever with. I wanted to go and make myself throw up just to relieve the pressure, but I couldn’t stand.
And now I was thirsty as hell. The pizza we get has, like, every ingredient you can think of except sardines. So obviously, you can get kind of parched from all the salt. So I tried to sip water, but it was so good and hydrating. Now I’m water-full on top of full-full. I put the kids to bed and laid down. The BF tried to be nice and rub my belly, but I didn’t want anybody or anything touching it.
I was actually thinking about those sitcom shows that have people who eat too much laying around with their shirts up and pants off, moaning and groaning all droopy eyed and turning green and running toward the toilet getting ready to vomit. I felt exactly like that. I even thought, “Hmm, I guess this is an actual reality.” I have never eaten that much in my whole life. Or maybe I have but my stomach is smaller now, it doesn’t really matter, because obviously I didn’t die, but I have made a vow to never eat that much again. Or crap food. I will however, continue to drink vodka with various mixers, it’s not the alcohols fault for cry-yie!
In honor of my new vows to health, I went immediately to the trail after the kids went to school, and ran my still-bloated ass around the track for 3+ miles. It wasn’t pretty. It was hot and I was sweating pizza grease. That IS as gross as it sounds. I think I could smell sausage…YUCK.
I ate one banana so far, and drank a whole pot of coffee. That’s how I de-tox. Do it your way, I’ll do it mine.
It’s 5 pm and I am heading out to buy 2½ Men/ Season 4. Then I’ll be eating Chinese with the BF. (I’ll actually only be eating white rice, but I can smell it and that’s just as good.)
Tomorrow, the BF is off work and I guess we are doing a “spin” class. First time for both of us. That should be fun, she says sarcastically. It always looks hard. Those people are always sweaty and beat looking when it’s over. I’ll let you know.
And in case you were wondering about a weight update…didn’t gain a pound. Didn’t lose anything either, but I think that’s ok. I should have died with all that food I ate, but it didn’t stick. I might not get so lucky next time. Better stay on the safe side. Besides I still have 2 days before the day I deemed my official weigh in. Which will always be 2 days from today…hahaha.
I actually have a playlist to put out, in honor of all the colorful things that would have spilled into the toilet if I had enough nerve to make myself throw up. I don’t. Bulimia is not for me. The list is called,
And it was originally for all those crayons I picked up off the trail a few weeks back. So you decide which personal event in my life you’d like to associate it with. It’s like a mystery ending web post! Exciting!
The picture below is a memory-refresher. Crayons on a table.
The actual list will be posted shortly. Wait for it now, it’s 99 songs long. I went a little crazy with color. You can use it for more than running, or you can use it for a week of running…again…your choice! (“Choose your own ending”, that’s what those books are called)
Enjoy the picture.
Relive the memory of how I got them,
and the memory continues here,
and check back in say, 7 hours. It’s 5:20 now, I have to drive and eat and watch tv, and then type 99 songs in a row and add color and links and finally hit publish. It WILL be worth the wait.
Update!
I actually got 101 songs. Thought of two more typing the list–2 great songs that bring it all together at the end.
And it’s in under the 7-hour mark. Goodnight Chicago.
just shy of pretty 
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