Blackout Wednesday
I like that term, “Blackout Wednesday” for tonight’s giant drinking drunken festival way better than “Donor Night.” But I still wouldn’t recommend going out into the world anytime after, well, now. It’s already 6:30 pm here in the Midwest and that means everyone who got off work early today is well on their way to living up to the night’s expectation.
Biggest drinking night of the year. I did a quick internet search to see what’s up with the need to party like there’s no tomorrow right before Thanksgiving. I got: Convenience, because people are already out and they usually get off early and will be off for a few days and it’s just so easy to go have a few with your friends. Economy, because bars have special cheap pricing on drinks that will get you drunk the fastest. Sorrow, because most people will be stuck with their whole families for the entire weekend and drinking usually dulls the pain. Or sorrow, because you have no family and drinking usually dulls the pain of the dread loneliness. Underage, because people are stupid and lots of college kids come home for the weekend but not before they take a drinking break with all their college friends first. Underage, because teenagers are even stupider and think their parents won’t notice some of that stocked-up-for-Thanksgiving alcohol is missing. The consensus is that college kids are the biggest partiers and also the most likely to be driving around afterwards. They still have to get home after all. It’s dangerous and crazy and I fear for anyone out on the roads tonight.
So I wasn’t really sure what kind of picture to include for this momentous holiday. But then I remembered we had this cool, modified, car/dune-buggy/off-road whatever vehicle that we passed on the street the other day. It just looks like it will roll right over anything you might be in.
Just an fyi: The tanks will be out and the drivers who think they are perfectly ok will be driving them. You will die and they will not be injured at all because they are too drunk to realize that they just killed you.
Be safe and stay alert! YOU will be your best chance of survivng the night if you can see it coming and avoid it! Or better yet, just stay in! We can all gather here tomorrow and wish each other a truly happy Thanksgiving. Until then, have a great night. Safety and sharp eyesight for all! Later.
11/11/11 Silliness and Stevie has a new hobby
Feast your eyes on this tasty morsel! Believe it or not, this is the final, cooked, product of Stevie’s new hobby: Baking.
This really has nothing to do with 11/11/11 but I thought it was a good way to work in a post about it AND talk about my daughters new love of baking things. We can use this date as the starting point of a new, potential career choice or as the date we can tell the ER that we first started having the symptoms of food poisoning. Either way it’s a memory immortalized on a historic date in time that I will never live to see again.
The way she starts a project is by looking up something she wants to make on the internet. Then she gathers ingredients, measures, stirs, mixes, combines and then cooks. This particular recipe is her 6th attempt at it. First off, let me clarify that this was supposed to be a cupcake recipe. That’s what she looked up but this is what she created: The brown lump you see above.
It was only at the very end, after the batter was in the liners, in the muffin tray, that she realized something was not right. The batter was way too thick and sitting in the cups like dough balls. Like, cookie dough balls. Then she looked back at the internet and saw that her recipe was NOT for cupcakes, but actually for chocolate chip cake cookies. Not chocolate chip cup cakes. See, it’s those words that can be confusing! You see cake, you automatically think cupcake! Her only other fleeting clue was that there was only enough “batter” to fill 4 cupcake liners. She even had her brother in the kitchen wondering what the heck they were looking at. I can just imagine both of them staring at those lumpy “cupcakes” and trying to figure out what went wrong. Then they scraped all the dough out of the liners and put them on a baking tray to cook. Her finished recipe made this many cookies, plus two, that we ate for quality control purposes:
They are not pretty. They are not really good either. They kind of taste like brownie bites with lots of edge. They do have chocolate chips in them though! The problem, besides following the wrong recipe all together, is that when she does find a recipe, she reads it off the internet and doesn’t follow the order of ingredients. She tends to measure and mix things out of order and then loses track of what’s in the bowl already and what is not. Her last cookie attempt, deliberate cookies, may have had salt as an ingredient at least 3 or 4 times. Her motto is: “If you can’t remember, add it again! Then double the recipe!” What you end up with is twice as many salty, chewy cookies to feed to the big, fat squirrels we have growing outside. I swear they gather near the backdoor like they’re having a company meeting when we turn our oven on.
Since I was actually at a job fair for most of this, (2 fairly good interviews I think!! Cross your fingers please!! I really need a job. If anything, just to be able to afford more butter and flour and sugar) I walked in on the turds just coming out of the oven. And heard the story while she was already preparing her next assault on my kitchen and baking supplies. Before she got too deep, I suggested she might consider printing the recipe and then using a pen to check off each item as she used it. She did. She carefully checked to be sure it was really a cupcake recipe. It was. And then she put them together. Obviously baking is a skill that takes time and practice. I was mostly in the room when she mixed and measured, but for some reason, something goes wrong somewhere in the process and the finished product ends up just slightly “off.” These are her vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting:
They are not the worst cupcakes you have ever eaten by any means. They look pretty good. Mostly “risen”. A lot are flat, but that’s ok. The chocolate frosting is good. The problem is that they taste like corn bread muffins and not vanilla cupcakes. We can’t figure out why. It’s a basic recipe. The only difference is that it asked for egg whites instead of whole eggs. It’s weird. Either she is completely missing something or reading the teaspoon/tablespoon/½ and ¾ type measurements wrong. So they can just sit there for a few days and I’ll throw them at the squirrels on Monday. Keep them off my bird feeders for a few minutes. Totally off subject…but I have a red-headed woodpecker that I have been trying to take a picture of for the last few weeks. He was here today so I have to think he’ll be back regularly if I keep the bird seed out and full. I don’t know why it’s exciting to see new and different birds eating in my backyard but it is!! Yay winter!
Anyway, she is done for the night now and I will wrap this up and clean the kitchen. Again. Despite this posting, which she fully read and can appreciate the humor behind (because my kids are cool like that!), she will try again soon, and I will let her. How else is she going to learn?? Send her some love and encouragement so she doesn’t give up because, heads up!, she’s planning on baking ALL the Christmas cookies this year. And unless you want to break a tooth or outright lie, and shatter the holiday dreams of an overly ambitious teenage girl, you all better hope she gets really good at this super FAST! Later!
Happy Veterans Day! Thank You!
Nothing silly, just a quick thanks to all who serve or have served. I’m also using my favorite pic of all time. That’s my dad. It’s definitely been here before, but I love it so much I use it whenever I can. Remember to take just a quick moment to thank a vet today. You wouldn’t be reading this without them!
Torn! X-Mas Catalog Number 2!
It’s a Christmas catalog. But it’s the NFL Christmas catalog.
I want to say this one came the next day after the Target one. We were all pretty excited for this one. Including me. I think I even vocalized an “oooh” or two. Being the proud owner of three NFL Reebok Women’s Premier Jersey’s, I am loving the fact that I now get a catalog mailed to me for easy shopping reminders.Well, it was technically mailed to the BF, but since it’s the same address…what’s yours is mine right?? I was going through quite a football phase the last two years. It probably had a lot to do with the extreme stress I was feeling with nursing school. I needed something to focus on other than failing out. Which of course, if you’ve been reading this website for any length of time, you know that I did not. I am an RN, even if I don’t have a job to prove it. Anyway, the point is, I kind of lost my manic devotion to football this season, as I underestimated how much more intense the feeling of failure would be when I couldn’t find a job right away. Football is not helping this time. It’s not diverting like it used too. Probably because even though I’m still in school, my class is Wednesday and there is no football anywhere near that day to distract me from my homework. I do that all on my own now. So it’s not like much has changed. Again, if you read this site, even occasionally, you know that I spend all day chasing after jobs and all night wasting study time goofing around here or just watching TV. It’s sad really. I got to take someone to the doctor last week and I had a long opportunity to read that never ending book by Denis Leary. I was hoping to finish it so I could finally post about it and be done. Seeing as I originally talked about it 2 years ago. Anyway, you would think I could just take an hour out of one afternoon and finish the stupid thing already. It’s embarrassingly easy to read, with fairly large type and lots of short, double-spaced sentences. It even has pictures in the middle! I’m not kidding when I say I could have read that book in a few hours many years ago, but my brain has altered its core function so that it is now only able to concentrate in short, random bursts. Like firecrackers. Not even. More like snap pops, those things you throw on the ground that make a popping noise. My brain kind of bubbles gently rather than erupting violently anymore. See? I just typed an entire paragraph in a direction that nobody saw coming. Not even me.
Let me see. Scroll back up. Re-read. Pick up original topic. I don’t even know what my original topic was going to be! I guess it was about the catalog. It’s football. I still want another jersey to add to my collection. My sister says they are quite flattering and very fashionable. I know she is being sarcastic, but it gives my mom something to buy for me. Actually this year, I might need a new stethoscope and some work shoes so I may go with that instead. (hint hint Rita) The other thing about the catalog is that they have the Green Bay Packers featured on the front. SuperBowl champs you know. 8 and Zero at this posting time. With my favorite player in the NFL right now, Clay Matthews. Number 52. He’s the jersey I got for my birthday. It’s so pretty and green. Really brings out the color in my eyes too. I included the Green Bay thing because, 1, Clay Matthews really is my fav right now. 2, they are undefeated. And 3, I wanted to talk about football in some post, so it looks like this is it! My original favorite, and very first jersey, was Peyton Manning, of the Indianapolis Colts, who I still love, but sadly has been injured this year and is unable to play. His past winning SuperBowl team is now Zero and 9. It’s painful to watch and the news is always saying how bad Peyton wants to come back, and how he keeps trying to find ways to play, but I just want to call and tell him it’s just not worth it. He could be paralyzed with one wrong hit and no football game or amount of money is worth that risk. I feel so strongly you would think that we were actually friends. We’re not. Or that I at least knew him or his family. I don’t. Or that I knew someone that knew him or was friends on Facebook. Nope. This is probably how the “casually following” type person begins the “dedicated stalker” journey to crazy. My last contribution to this football paragraph is to say that my third jersey is an Eli Manning. It was really the second one I got, but third in this list. Eli is Peyton’s little brother and quarterback of the NY Giants. Interesting that I have both brothers. One step closer to the evening news!
Ok last thing. Well, two last things. I just typed another whole paragraph NOT on the subject I wanted too. And it was almost as long. This will be it for the night. I was going to try and read while I keep watch on my daughter, who is pretty sick tonight, but I can’t concentrate with the worry. I think I better try to sleep. We will be going to the doctor in the morning so it’s a good thing I didn’t finish that book today because now I can bring it with me tomorrow when I take her.
The very last thing is, that I noticed the NFL Shop catalog also threw out the word “holiday.” It’s an epidemic.
Holidays to all and to all a goodnight!
Because Christmas will be starting promptly at…..NOW!
NEVER underestimate the power of the TOY catalog for Christmas! Even if your kids are teenagers now. Even if they are 6 feet tall. Even if they begrudgingly dress up for Halloween and complain that trick-or-treating is lame, but still go out there and then eat so much candy that they are sick the next morning. Even if they barely let you take a picture of them in said costumes. These children are powerless against the allure of the magical and colorful, red-ringed, fake wreath of holiday, dunt, dunt, dunnnn, TOYS!! No child can resist. Mine could care less about anything other than video or audio products, but they still like to look. They get all excited and starry-eyed. It’s sick. And truthfully, I think parents like to look too. What else would you have to talk about with the other desperate parents just before you shoot yourself in the head after the second hour of potentially paralyzing, soul killing fun at the Monkey Joe’s or Extreme Trampoline?? Yeah yeah….I signed the waiver…it’s my own damn fault.
The only negative comment I have on the greed of Christmas commerce being shoved down our throats two months early, and the fake anxious panic Target is trying to instill in parents everywhere by deadlining all these “great deals” by November 23, (not even Thanksgiving yet!), when they damn well know everybody who missed these first great deals will be flocking to their stores the Friday after for even better deals, is that their catalog is UGLY!! U-G-L-Y! You make your momma cry! You’re ugly!! Seriously. My picture is pretty true to life. And I tried to get it against a nice, dark background to make it look better. It’s not even a true white cover to give the red something to really “pop” against. It’s this sick, creamy, off-white, dingy pearl color. And speaking of the red, it’s too red. Like, dark red. It makes the green look like lime and not Christmas tree. I am NOT a fan of red and green together. Especially Christmas red and green. But if you’re going to print and mail the first toy catalog of the season you should make the cover bright and cheerful, and not some half assed attempt that looks like it got thrown together on somebody’s lunch break the day before Halloween. Not to mention the failure to use toys from this year. Buzz, Lightning McQueen, Elmo, Barbie, Rubik’s Cube, Etch-a-Sketch, Yahtzee?!?–thank goodness Hollywood cooperates every year with Christmas sales and releases another installment of the same movie so companies can use the same toys with new packaging.
That seemed kind of rough and harsh. I like Christmas actually. It always feel like something good is about to happen. But I kind of like my Christmas to wait until after Thanksgiving before it shows up and carol’s me to death. It doesn’t feel very special when it’s been going on for weeks and weeks and weeks. I also like Target. They do have good deals and they have had much better catalogs. It’s all about eye appeal. Luckily kids don’t care. The clever market research team probably told them not to bother with a fancy look because this is the catalog the kids are just going to flip and tear. Mine did.
All this rainy day, gloomy evening, dark-at-4:30 ranting post (Weather update! That’s for my newest official reader/cousin Linda. Shout out!) has made me thirsty! And since it is dark now, it must be nighttime, and that earlier talk of lime reminded me that I have Corona in the fridge. (That is some “chain of reference” for my other cuz Lorraine. Holler!) And just for the hell of it…Go Sox! (For my sissy, not forgotten, you were the first after all, and next year of course, ’cause baseball season is over. Woop! woop!) Later.
Quick extra note, without comment: The front cover does not say “Christmas” or reference “Santa” specifically. It does on the inside though. Holiday is all you get for now.
Neverending Halloween will be ending shortly.
Don’t be fooled by those fake pumpkins. But they look so real! This is the last of the pictures I took in the same area as the bench. So I guess I can declare Halloween and the rest of the Holy Days over for another year.
Also, it would seem I have picked up a few more fans in the last few days. It’s a peculiar medium, and a strange way to communicate with the outside world. It’s usually just me, alone, typing whatever pops into my head, and then putting it out there, never really knowing where it will land. Sometimes you get lucky, like these last few days, and I know some one is connecting with something I’ve written, but usually it just floats. That’s ok too because I write it for me anyway. I know it can’t possibly be just my family generating so many “hits”, there aren’t that many of us. So to everyone out there that keeps checking in, whether you comment, or like me, or just read and move on…
THANK YOU!!!
I should go do something weekend-like now. It’s pretty nice out for November in the Midwest. And my jaw is only hurting a little bit now. Teaser. Updates coming later! Everyone to the outdoors!
I believe the word you are looking for is “MASTICATE” !!
Thanks cuz!! You crazy lady!! But, for the effort, here is a giant piece of cake for you to chew on!! This is also your birthday gift! Doesn’t it look delicious? Can you see how big it is?? America has problems with these giant desserts.
Anyway, I didn’t realize your birthday was the same day as “Leftover Halloween.” Another fine holiday that I made up yesterday. If I had known I would have included you in the festivities.
So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! To my cousin Lorraine!!! Wooo…..you are my most consistent reader and commenter!! (Throwing out that challenge to the other five….step it up people!!) And an all around cool chick on her own! (If anyone is confused, she’s the one who lives on a farm in the middle of nowhere, but they do have internet, so win-win!) Hope the day was great! And thank you for giving me an excellent opportunity to post that picture of the giant chocolate cake. I seriously had just moved it to my “extra pics” file a few days ago, heartbroken, because I had no good reason to put it on here. In your honor, I have created a special category “For Lorraine” (to the right) just for you! YOU ROCK!!
Coincidentally, I might have to start “macerating” my food just so I can eat! Jaw pain stinks!! I’m still undecided if it feels better or worse yet. Let me choke on a few more food items today and I’ll let you all know! I figure that if I can swallow, I’m good! I would re-phrase that or take it out all together, but I’m keeping it in there for the fringe crowd. Spicing it up on a Friday with some edgy humor. Trying to grow a larger fan base. Oh snap! There it is!
Now I have to go drive to the airport!! What, wha…??? I know. It’s not funny and it wasn’t meant to be. I literally have to go and drive someone to the airport in like, 4 minutes, so I guess I better go now. Keep reading! Tell your friends! Post a comment! By the time I get home it will be socially acceptable to start drinking for the weekend! Later!
Just a little devil before bed
Just a quick last post before I go to bed. I cannot stay up again until 3:30. I need sleep so I don’t kill myself driving my friend to the airport tomorrow.And more importantly when I’m driving myself home all alone.
We saw this altered car tag on the road somewhere last week and now here it is. I like this picture better than that cartoon witch and I wanted to leave my website with some good karma tonight. That way if anyone happens to click on my front page they’ll see a fairly cool image and think I’m all hip and stuff. And then the person who clicked it gets to be hip too just by association. It’s a public service I provide for free. Coolness for everyone!
I think I’m harboring a fairly nasty ear and sinus infection that has spread into my left jaw. It’s mainly at the joint and hurts mostly when I chew. Thank goodness I can still open my big mouth and jabber the words away. Although I have to say it feels best when I just shut up. I am even considering a trip to the doctor but I’m holding judgement until morning. Besides it’s really a great way to drop a few of those unwanted pounds. Liquids and soft foods create the least amount of stress to my mandible. (Ding ding. Twenty dolla’ word up in this house. Holler.) I am hungry though. That pain med I took is probably kicking in and I need some rest.
May your glass be always full, and may your roof be always strong over your head, and may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows your dead. ~Irish toast
That was a little extra for all the ones who stay out way too late. Sleep sweet and good dreams.
Stevie’s Joke of the Day! Leftover Halloween edition!
This Halloween board goes along with the Halloween Bench that I had posted a few days ago. It’s a whole big thing, and it’s perfect for Stevie’s Joke of the Day!
How far did the witch fly?
Ghost to ghost.
You are welcome!
just shy of pretty 
Blog Cred
November 4, 2011 at 3:39 pm (Day to Day, Holiday, Shameless Self Promotion, Updates) (Comments, Costumes, Halloween, Pumpkins, Self Promotion, Website)
Isn’t that a terrible word combination?? It sounds like a disease or a fancy cheese. Anyway, I can thank my sissy for helping me construct postings with more depth and attention to detail. She was confused by some of the things that are written and why, and it did occur to me that my last post could seem cryptic and confusing. If you go back and read, at least the last four days, Oct. 31 to the present, AND read the comments, you will be all caught up and in the know. While you are there, in the comment section, click that “like” button too, please!! It’s right there under my words—THAT’S what gives me all the “blog cred”–like street cred, but in the blogging world–yea yea I know, I never used to care either. And I feel ya’ if you don’t want to read posts AND comments too. I know I never do. Especially if there are like 50 of them. Luckily for you, there’s usually only 1 or 2, and they are in really short sentences. My reply’s are usually what take the longest to read. They are like mini-posts within the big posts. I do love to write! At any rate….Just do it!
I couldn’t think of what other picture to use for this, so I just put up pumpkins. Kid designed and cut. It’s awesome because I literally, do not have to do anything anymore by way of participation in this Halloween process. Nothing! They can carry and move them, draw them, cut them, gut them, and design and finish them. They can even use fire to light them. They said I could post their costume pic too, so that’s below.
As you can see, they look less than thrilled at having to stand there. Lately if they get that close it’s because they want to punch each other. I guilted them though with the whole, “it’s probably the last Halloween costume picture I’ll ever get with you two” spiel. It worked. Sort of. If you look close at the bottom left corner you can see my finger in the view. I had to take these pictures quick because they refused to pose and this is the best, and only, pic I got with both of them in frame. Teenagers are fun!
I have to go comment some more on my newest comments. And again, thank you all for reading!! I found money on the street today so I am about to update that little category. Hold on to your Friday, cause we are on a roll!
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