just shy of pretty

11/11/11 Silliness and Stevie has a new hobby

November 11, 2011 at 7:42 pm (Day to Day, Homemade, Things The Kids Like) (Baking, Christmas, Cookies, Cupcakes, Daughter)

Feast your eyes on this tasty morsel! Believe it or not, this is the final, cooked, product of Stevie’s new hobby: Baking.

This really has nothing to do with 11/11/11 but I thought it was a good way to work in a post about it AND talk about my daughters new love of baking things. We can use this date as the starting point of a new, potential career choice or as the date we can tell the ER that we first started having  the symptoms of food poisoning. Either way it’s a memory immortalized on a historic date in time that I will never live to see again.

The way she starts a project is by looking up something she wants to make on the internet. Then she gathers ingredients, measures, stirs, mixes, combines and then cooks. This particular recipe is her 6th attempt at it. First off, let me clarify that this was supposed to be a cupcake recipe. That’s what she looked up but this is what she created: The brown lump you see above.

It was only at the very end, after the batter was in the liners, in the muffin tray, that she realized something was not right. The batter was way too thick and sitting in the cups like dough balls. Like, cookie dough balls. Then she looked back at the internet and saw that her recipe was NOT for cupcakes, but actually for chocolate chip cake cookies. Not chocolate chip cup cakes. See, it’s those words that can be confusing! You see cake, you automatically think cupcake! Her only other fleeting clue was that there was only enough “batter” to fill 4 cupcake liners. She even had her brother in the kitchen wondering what the heck they were looking at. I can just imagine both of them staring at those lumpy “cupcakes” and trying to figure out what went wrong. Then they scraped all the dough out of the liners and put them on a baking tray to cook. Her finished recipe made this many cookies, plus two, that we ate for quality control purposes:

They are not pretty. They are not really good either. They kind of taste like brownie bites with lots of edge. They do have chocolate chips in them though! The problem, besides following the wrong recipe all together, is that when she does find a recipe, she reads it off the internet and doesn’t follow the order of ingredients.  She tends to measure and mix things out of order and then loses track of what’s in the bowl already and what is not. Her last cookie attempt, deliberate cookies, may have had salt as an ingredient at least 3 or 4 times. Her motto is: “If you can’t remember, add it again! Then double the recipe!” What you end up with is twice as many salty, chewy cookies to feed to the big, fat squirrels we have growing outside. I swear they gather near the backdoor like they’re having a company meeting when we turn our oven on.

Since I was actually at a job fair for most of this, (2 fairly good interviews I think!! Cross your fingers please!! I really need a job. If anything, just to be able to afford more butter and flour and sugar) I walked in on the turds just coming out of the oven. And heard the story while she was already preparing her next assault on my kitchen and baking supplies. Before she got too deep, I suggested she might consider printing the recipe and then using a pen to check off each item as she used it. She did. She carefully checked to be sure it was really a cupcake recipe. It was. And then she put them together. Obviously baking is a skill that takes time and practice. I was mostly in the room when she mixed and measured, but for some reason, something goes wrong somewhere in the process and the finished product ends up just slightly “off.” These are her vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting:

They are not the worst cupcakes you have ever eaten by any means. They look pretty good. Mostly “risen”. A lot are flat, but that’s ok. The chocolate frosting is good. The problem is that they taste like corn bread muffins and not vanilla cupcakes. We can’t figure out why. It’s a basic recipe. The only difference is that it asked for egg whites instead of whole eggs. It’s weird. Either she is completely missing something or reading the teaspoon/tablespoon/½ and ¾ type measurements wrong. So they can just sit there for a few days and I’ll throw them at the squirrels on Monday. Keep them off my bird feeders for a few minutes. Totally off subject…but I have a red-headed woodpecker that I have been trying to take a picture of for the last few weeks. He was here today so I have to think he’ll be back regularly if I keep the bird seed out and full. I don’t know why it’s exciting to see new and different birds eating in my backyard but it is!! Yay winter!

Anyway, she is done for the night now and I will wrap this up and clean the kitchen. Again. Despite this posting, which she fully read and can appreciate the humor behind (because my kids are cool like that!), she will try again soon, and I will let her. How else is she going to learn?? Send her some love and encouragement so she doesn’t give up because, heads up!,  she’s planning on baking ALL the Christmas cookies this year. And unless you want to break a tooth or outright lie, and shatter the holiday dreams of an overly ambitious teenage girl, you all better hope she gets really good at this super FAST! Later!

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