Because Christmas will be starting promptly at…..NOW!

November 7, 2011 at 6:40 pm (Advertising, Christmas Spirit, Day to Day, Holiday, Weather) (, , , , , , , , , )

NEVER underestimate the power of the TOY catalog for Christmas! Even if your kids are teenagers now. Even if they are 6 feet tall. Even if they begrudgingly dress up for Halloween and complain that trick-or-treating is lame, but still go out there and then eat so much candy that they are sick the next morning. Even if they barely let you take a picture of them in said costumes. These children are powerless against the allure of the magical and colorful, red-ringed, fake wreath of holiday, dunt, dunt, dunnnn, TOYS!! No child can resist. Mine could care less about anything other than video or audio products, but they still like to look. They get all excited and starry-eyed. It’s sick. And truthfully, I think parents like to look too. What else would you have to talk about with the other desperate parents just before you shoot yourself in the head after the second hour of potentially paralyzing, soul killing fun at the Monkey Joe’s or Extreme Trampoline?? Yeah yeah….I signed the waiver…it’s my own damn fault.

The only negative comment I have on the greed of Christmas commerce being shoved down our throats two months early, and the fake anxious panic Target is trying to instill in parents everywhere by deadlining all these “great deals” by November 23, (not even Thanksgiving yet!), when they damn well know everybody who missed these first great deals will be flocking to their stores the Friday after for even better deals,  is that their catalog is UGLY!! U-G-L-Y!  You make your momma cry! You’re ugly!! Seriously. My picture is pretty true to life. And I tried to get it against a nice, dark background to make it look better. It’s not even a true white cover to give the red something to really “pop” against. It’s this sick, creamy, off-white, dingy pearl color. And speaking of the red, it’s too red. Like, dark red. It makes the green look like lime and not Christmas tree. I am NOT a fan of red and green together. Especially Christmas red and green. But if you’re going to print and mail the first toy catalog of the season you should make the cover bright and cheerful, and not some half assed attempt that looks like it got thrown together on somebody’s lunch break the day before Halloween. Not to mention the failure to use toys from this year. Buzz, Lightning McQueen, Elmo, Barbie, Rubik’s Cube, Etch-a-Sketch, Yahtzee?!?–thank goodness Hollywood cooperates every year with Christmas sales and releases another installment of the same movie so companies can use the same toys with new packaging.

That seemed kind of rough and harsh. I like Christmas actually. It always feel like something good is about to happen. But I kind of like my Christmas to wait until after Thanksgiving before it shows up and carol’s me to death. It doesn’t feel very special when it’s been going on for weeks and weeks and weeks. I also like Target. They do have good deals and they have had much better catalogs. It’s all about eye appeal. Luckily kids don’t care. The clever market research team probably told them not to bother with a fancy look because this is the catalog the kids are just going to flip and tear. Mine did.

All this rainy day, gloomy evening, dark-at-4:30 ranting post (Weather update! That’s for my newest official reader/cousin Linda. Shout out!) has made me thirsty! And since it is dark now, it must be nighttime, and that earlier talk of lime reminded me that I have Corona in the fridge. (That is some “chain of reference”  for my other cuz Lorraine. Holler!) And just for the hell of it…Go Sox! (For my sissy, not forgotten, you were the first after all, and next year of course, ’cause baseball season is over. Woop! woop!) Later.

Quick extra note, without comment: The front cover does not say “Christmas” or reference “Santa” specifically. It does on the inside though. Holiday is all you get for now.

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3 Comments

  1. Amanda a.k.a The Greatest Sister of All time! said,

    Couple things…I think Tarjay is trying to go for a “retro” look..? Because it looks kinda retro to me. And unfortunately, these toys on the cover ARE current. Because of Toy Story 3 or whatever number came out most recently, Buzz IS still popular. And because of Cars 2, Lightning is still popular, although the Cars toys never really did go away after the first movie came out. Barbie, well, they always come out with a new straight to DVD movie right before Christmas, as you should remember from when Stevie was younger. And Elmo, my sweet sweet Elmo, he has a new Rock Band Elmo that plays the guitar and you can buy a matching little drum set and microphone so your child can “play” in a band with him. It is actually really cute, and I want to get it for Everet. I love Elmo!

    • masnstevy said,

      Well thank you Christmas catalog super analyzer! I was mostly complaining just to complain. And because I was on such a roll! I still think the catalog is ugly, retro or not. I never liked that style. I will forever be uncool because I think retro style is ugly and looks like old people decor…old timey…like all of our older relatives houses used to be when we had to go visit when we were kids. Very square furniture with skinny, pointy legs. Off colors. Crazy patterns. Wallpaper that you could have a seizure staring at. Yuk! And I know that the same toys are always popular. Stevie still likes Barbie movies, but thankfully she doesn’t want any dolls! She likes makeup now. I’ll add more comments on your other comments!! Haha

  2. Amanda a.k.a The Greatest Sister of All time! said,

    Oh ya, Go Sox! (next year)

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