Casserole!
This is for Stevie’s teacher. She does not read the site I imagine, or even know about it but I had to put the pic up after Stevie told me this story when she asked me what I was making for dinner and I said a chicken rice casserole. Big laughs! Apparently it’s funny because yesterday in class one of the words that came up in the reading was “casserole”. So the teacher defined it and laughingly said, “Who even eats casserole anymore?”
Well. We do. I love when the universe turns up the relevance to your personal life and really incorporates what you learn in school to the real world. How handy was that English lesson? Exactly.
Stay in school kids because you never know what random piece of information is going to make the next big difference in your day to day living. Life is an adventure and you cannot get through it without a little education! More is better in this arena!
As for that casserole. It was your basic chicken, rice, canned soup, cheese sprinkles on the top variety that can be made in 5 minutes and left to cook. I know it is not that “healthy eating” thing I was talking about, but it wasn’t that bad. Maybe too high in sodium and a little fat. But no milk and not a ton of cheese. Plain rice. Plain chicken. It actually turned out pretty good and the chicken stayed moist. (I hate that word but the chicken didn’t get all dried out so what are my other options??) Besides, I had to use what little ingredients I had on hand. As usual, I am behind in the shopping thing. We are back down to the minimums. I like having a house and fridge full of food, it makes me feel safe and comfortable and rich, but I also get a strange feeling of satisfaction knowing that we have only what we need and that I can use those things to make a meal or two. It’s like we have “just the basics”. Also, I have no money. So I like to stretch out the shop intervals. Got three rolls of TP and a plan to go to the store tomorrow. I think we can make it.
Ham String Curls!
That headline is only going to be funny to one person, but I don’t care. I had a novel idea today to work out BEFORE I posted anything. The weather is supposed to be nice a again, and so far it is. Paul Konrad spoke of 50’s and warmer temps and clear skies. But it still feels cold to me. Plus I have a volleyball game to go to for Stevie. Second one. The first was Monday. It was very exciting and the matches were close, usually a point or two, but they ended up losing. I thought they did pretty good for only having 4 practices. And those were over Christmas Break. I’ll put pics up if the girl lets me. Anyway, I won’t have time later to work out and I don’t trust the weather to wait for a few more hours. Plus I wanted something fast and complete. So I went to my old standby: The Firm. 45 minutes of pure elevated heart rate and sweat. I don’t know if it was because I didn’t eat or because my heart hasn’t worked that hard trying to move me around in weeks, but I felt slightly sick in the middle and for a minute there, thought for sure I was going to throw up. My stomach flipped and all I could hear was my heart beating in my head but I just stood there lifting my stupid dumbbells until it passed. So you know this tape has got to be good right??
That picture above really has nothing to do with my workout besides the ham string curl, curled horns, thing. It’s a stretch I know. Anyway, I like doing the Firm workouts because they combine cardio and weights and they make me sweat because I am out of shape. Rebekah is the ring leader. She’s cute and so evil with her friendly, constant chatter about what we are about to do next. Ham String Curls is one of the things she says that gets into my nightmares while I sleep. She says it all sing-songy and I am lured into the abyss. You can see her devil eyes about halfway through the workout. She’s looking up at the camera and I feel her thoughts enter into my brain, “C’mon you fat ass, kick it higher, lift that heavier weight, burn burn burn!” I may just be hallucinating that last part though. I am working my way back into the P90X sets. I was doing them every day last year, but I totally fell off the wagon and rolled into the street, down a hill, across a stream and then down another hill until I landed in a giant hole of marshmallow middles, blubber butts and shame.
But I’m back. Three days in a row! It’s a new year record! It’s all part of the master plan: Run. Walk. Weights. And add some push ups. (The tape gives you some ab moves–not too crazy. You can always add more if you like) One of the new sites that I am following, linked over to the right there, or click on the name, called WhatUp Chickenbutt just did a post on girl vs. regular push-ups. She said skip the girl ones all together and go for the man ones. Do them every day and see what happens. Well I will tell you, I did lots of girl push ups when I started P90 because I could not do even ONE real pushup. By the time I quit the P90, I could 10 regular ones. Took about 40 days for me personally to get there. I tried one today….and I’d generously give myself about one HALF of a real push up. I went down. Skimmed the ground with my gut. Froze there shaking and tried to push myself back up. I would say I was on the ground longer than the up and down motion. Then I tried it again after my Firm workout and I’d say I improved to about a Three Quarter pushup. I felt more confident though! But I still couldn’t do one. It’s a good idea though and I like a challenge. Do what is right for you! It’s no fun to fail right out of the gate. Besides, the girl ones are not all bad because they do allow you to build up some arm strength using half your weight until you can finally hoist your whole body up and down. So work up to whatever you can handle. Obviously I am one of those people that has to work out every day or I will not work out at all. One slip and I’m doomed to the couch. Anyhoo, the Firm is a good way to ease back into the hell of P90. The Firm box says you can see results in 10 workouts. I will let you know about that. It’s probably true. In fact I know it is because I used it last year too. It’s a nice break from the P90 intensity and it feels like you can dance. Rebekah does those old aerobic moves you used to see all the time. Things like plyo’s, switchups, wraps, it was all very confusing at first but I got it now. It makes me feel like I know what I’m doing and I enjoy seeing myself mirroring what the girls are doing on screen. I just can’t finish the whole thing yet. So close, but no cigar. I recommend this particular one because you get a good combo of cardio/weights that will make you sweat and feel good but won’t discourage you from trying it again if you can’t do everything all the way through. I put the pic below.
These pictures always turn out so gigantic. Well, I have lots more to write about, and I need to get some food. I’ve been good so far, keeping the cals at about 1500 to 2000. That seems like a lot but it’s not for me considering how much I was eating just a few days ago. And I’m trying to keep it as low-everything bad as possible, but this is the part that takes the most work. Jumping around like a wounded animal gasping and clawing the air for breath is easy. Shopping and cooking healthy for yourself and your family, under the whining protest that it’s “gonna be gross” and fighting against the constant, gnawing hunger for a few days (or weeks depending on how far gone you really are) is hard. Here’s to coffee and breath mints! My meal of choice for the newly turned fanatic. I’m just kidding. That’s my diet every day. Later.
View From the Sidewalk
Well I did it. I managed to get my butt up and out of the house two days in a row. Yesterday was the trail, I can post those next, but today was walking to the library and back. Three and a half miles. Walking briskly. In jeans and my winter coat. Took about an hour or so with library time. This is looking over the high school to the North. Clear blue nothing. My legs felt tight but I could have run if I wanted to. This day was a bit misleading. It looked nice. The temp said it was 50 degrees, but it felt cold and damp. And there was some small wind activity in certain directions that made it feel extra chill. And that sun was so bright I felt like I was dizzy. It’s just setting now but I swear it’s trying to go down as brilliantly as it possibly can. I just went to look at it in case I need to take a picture of another magnificent sunset and all I can see are black spots in my eyes. It’s too bright to even try to look at. My smart phone says “Sunny” and “48”. But it should really say “Extra Blindingly Photo Flash Sunny” and “Damp And Clammy 48”. But that’s probably too much information and could get confusing. As for the walking part, I was a sweaty mess when I got back home. My shirt was grossly soaked through. You could see the outline of my bra in the back. That’s another reason why I wear mostly black. Sweat doesn’t show. I am attributing my recent penchant for extra sweatiness (the last year or so) to the extra weightiness I have picked up in that same last year or so. I used to be a cool cucumber. Not anymore. I am a soggy pickle. There’s probably not more I can add after that so I’m going to end this right here. Later.
Denial Ain’t Just a River in Egypt
I will let you decide which noble and majestic, wild beast I will be currently comparing myself to. I’ll give you a hint: It’s not Marty. (That was a layered hint. See, you have to know first of all, that that is a pic of an elephant and a zebra. Then you need to know about the very funny, but child-oriented, movie called Madagascar–the first one–which means you either: have to have kids, have no kids but love cartoon movies, or either have kids or not have kids but LOVE Chris Rock. “Oh I could hang here. I could hang here!” That’s my favorite quote and I have been perfecting my perfect Chris Rock impersonation. It is magnificent!) Much like that elephant above.
I do have a fantastic memory. And I am strong and powerful. And coincidentally, I kind of have a big nose. Luckily, my teeth are good and no tusks are growing out of my head just yet. Unfortunately…I am in current possession of a larger-than-life body to lumber around in. I can deny it no more.
The catalyst for this sudden realization, was clothes shopping at the mall over the weekend, as it most always usually is. It was not, as previously reported here, my mother’s gentle and loving, reality wake-up call, that she gave me a few weeks ago. You can read the whole post here if you want, but if you don’t like to jump around, I can sum it up by telling you she pretty much told me I was a big fat, fatty-bo-batty, in plain, clear English and said I should do something about that. Even though that doesn’t sound funny, it was actually VERY funny. In fact, it still is pretty funny. It makes me laugh just typing it. Only a mom can tell you that you are a cow and it only stings for a second, then it turns into hilarious laughter and a trip to the Starbuck’s to add another winter layer to the protective hide. But back to the mall.
A while back I went to buy some “interview” clothes. And I had the chance to wear them to a job fair and to Thanksgiving dinner. Then my daughter helped me wash the clothes and shrunk my perfectly fitted blouse into a shirt that I could barely get over my arms and shoulders, much less button again. When I say, perfectly fitted, I mean that it was already snug. EXCUSE ALERT!! I have very broad shoulders and a large ribcage with extra boobage, that none of my sisters or mom have. So that’s what I tell myself when I can’t find a nice button up blouse to fit me properly. No matter, that when I look at past pictures, I don’t seem extra large (in women’s clothes–yes, shameful secret, I have to shop in the misses or the women’s section. The juniors are mostly beyond my range and style threshold now. Also, I like my pants unripped and not looking like they got dragged through a dirt pile before I wear them.) Anyway, the point here, is that I was looking for something to wear in case I need to go on an interview. I kind of decided to look on a whim. We were there because my son wanted a suit coat and shirt and tie to wear for his 8th grade graduation pictures this week. (Yay!! Almost there!! He found everything he wanted in 15 minutes. Fits perfectly. Looks sharp. Not so for his mom. Sad face.) I know I know. Just get to the point.
As I was wandering around from store to store, department to department, trying to find a basic blouse to go with plain black dress slacks, I realized that:
1. I felt like a giant dumptruck. I was grossly dressed in ill-fitting jeans screaming for mercy, ripped up shoes and a hoodie, with frizzy hair (sorry A, I know that hurts, it will get better), little make-up and a bad attitude. My own fault. Plus that dread cycle coming up has put me in pity mode for a few days. I hate it, but at least realizing it helps make it go away for me.
2. Patterns are the staple in women’s clothing and they can not only be ugly as hell, but they have the ability to make you instantly feel like an old lady with one bad color scheme.
3. My son and BF are hilarious. They meant to be funny with their comments about the clothes and my size issue. I was gently told I should consider something “not so fitted” especially if the buttons will be straining to stay buttoned. Even when I am standing. OUCH. What??? I have not been totally in the dark about this, but you know, bloating and not drinking enough water, and blah blah blah. My daughter’s new favorite phrase is, “You just got hit by a reality truck!” Well, I got hit by the truck, run over, and then it backed up and ran over me again. It was really the, “Are we going to have to go to Lane Bryant?” comment that pushed me out into traffic. It was said in a totally joking manner with no sarcasm or malevolence at all. But that one stung. Like, I almost cried, stung. And I have a pretty thick skin, like an elephant, metaphorically speaking. Sometimes it completely sucks to be female. For the record, I do still fit in the regular store sizes, I even have a two to three size leeway before I have to give up the general department store or move to the Plus size section. I tried the clothes on, so I know. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with Lane Bryant stores or clothing. It’s just the next level of dressing nice for the bigger girl and NOT resorting to stretchy pants and sweatshirts. Which IS terrible. But that’s not going to happen.
4. My daughter is hilarious and dashed around the clothing racks looking for the perfect blouse because, “It’s not a big deal mom, just start exercising and eating better and it will be fine. You know you can do that.” and just like that, on and on, while she picked stuff out, matched things up and made me try them on while she determined which is the best. All while trying to cheer me up and soothe my hurt feelings with humor and the promise that after we shop we can go eat our last meal of fried greasy food because fried food always makes you feel better. My little Buddha.
I will say, for myself, personally, or for anyone who has the variety pack of kids, and this is most definitely a MUSH ALERT (skip it if you must): I feel extremely lucky to have a boy and a girl to raise and be raised by. They each bring their own unique personalities, and, still being formed, world views to the table along with some staggeringly stereotypical behaviors and ideas, that I can only attribute to their basic gender and gene pool that combine to make them the perfect balance between never wanting them to grow up and leave my sight and life or sending them packing to their dad’s for a long vacation. The definitely keep you grounded and aware of the world even when you don’t want to be. And most of the time they don’t even know they are doing it to you. Yes, I would like to order two of the offspring reality trucks to be delivered to the mall on Sunday. Schedule a drive-by and then a basic run-and-back-over, for about 2 pm. I’ll also take a Diet Coke while I wait. Thank you!
In the end, I bought a few different blouses. I need to dress better anyway. I look like a…well, I don’t know what I look like. I have no style whatsoever. I have been counting on the fact that the whole rest of my life will be in a scrub uniform so who cares. My daughter says I am just a real basic mom. I stay the same. “You’re just the standard jeans and black t-shirt mom. The simple mom. With the same clothes every day and the black shoes.” She struggles with the words but she means it in the most positive way. And since I’m so evenly proportioned, body wise, symmetrical, is what she means. I don’t really get fat in any one area, I just kind of “puff up”.
Now, tell me, who would NOT like to be described as “puffed up”? To make a long story, even longer, I faced my fear. Woke up yesterday, sent the kids to school, did my usual coffee/Words/computer/job search/money search/throw in a load of laundry morning and then suited up to hit the trail for a brisk four mile walk/run. Break the barrier. Start the exercise process again. Ease back into good health and healthy eating. Again. But, before I left the house, I took pictures. Horrible, shameful, lumpy pictures. So bad, I already warned my children to stay off my phone and not to be looking at all my pictures lest they be scarred for life. Nothing naked. It’s clear enough, without the nudity, that I need help. I mean, if we are facing our fears the proper body image is necessary. I have a distorted view of myself as my BF will gladly tell you is true. It’s not what you are thinking though. I see myself as far BETTER looking and THINNER than I actually am. Weird right? I always think I am smaller and weigh less than I actually do. AND, I am always very surprised when I see myself in a picture or in a mirror because that is not how I view myself in my own head. I don’t think I look like a model or anything. I know I don’t. I just over estimate my looks and body size. Probably my sense of humor and skill at writing too, but that never stops me from typing word after endless word. Let me just pause here, to say thank you, if you are still reading this, because with my attention span, I am not so sure I would still be reading me. And also, I hope there are not too many errors, because I really doubt I will go back and check it. Also, I am getting nervous this is taking so long because I have to walk to the library today as my exercise. Briskly, walk to the library. Change it up. Stay fresh. So I don’t quit on the second day.
Back to the post: I did good yesterday. One hour for four miles. Not groundbreaking. Not record setting. But it was outside (45 degrees—50-55 today! Unbelievable) and I did sweat. Then I came home and did something even crazier. Even more dangerous and fear inducing. I weighed myself. On a scale. An actual scale, with numbers, that tell your weight in pounds. I usually judge my weight by the jeans I can fit into. I have the 8-10-11 multi-pack of jean sizes. Different company’s but surprisingly accurate in helping me gauge my weight to within a few pounds. The only problem with my system is that I only have 5 pairs of jeans total to wear and weigh by. Four now. I lost the 10’s in the thigh rub incident of a few days ago (a tragedy I transcribed here some days ago, in far more words than necessary, as is my custom). It’s really a complicated system and sounds kind of confusing when you say it out loud, but the 10’s were the fat jeans. Pushing the highest weight I could go basically while staying UNDER 200 pounds. That is very important as that is the magic number for me. I have never, and will never (hopefully) see that number on a scale. Even pregnant I never hit it. And I tried. Long story…my boy decided to come three weeks early and spoiled my gain plan. Anyway, the 11’s are stretchy. Spandex is a wonder material. So even though the size is technically larger, my butt needs to be smaller to fit in them. But one of the 11’s is stretchier than the other. So it’s a matter of how stretchy do I want them and how comfortable will they be for the whole day? That’s the middle weight. The 8’s are the smallest. Again supposedly with Spandex, but one pair is decidedly stretchier than the other, by far. One pair I feel perfect in.
The other pair though, gives me, what I like to call: The JMT’s. That would stand for Jumbo Muffin Tops. Or “Juffins” as me and Stevie like to cackle about. One day, recently, the muffin tops were really spilling over and we were laughing about how they jiggle when I laugh and get worse when I sit and how I need a tighter buffer shirt to wear under my real shirt to try and skim them over, like frosting on a messed up, cracked and crumbly lumpy cake. I said, ” I don’t just have muffin tops, I have jumbo muffin tops. I have Juffins!” and we laughed hysterically. I am sure I am not the first or only person to have come up with that, but I’m taking credit in my world because I never heard it before and I said it and my daughter and son were there when I did. So that makes it official!
Got all that? Here’s the key to the whole thing. The weight was not as bad as I thought. And even if it was, who cares. I was ready to cry and curse all the delicious food in the world and my lack of willpower and laziness anyway. I still will. Probably forever. Nobody can be good ALL the time. Nobody. The point is I am aware. It is reality. It is not nice or pleasant but it’s OK. I will not reveal the number. It’s too much. But I will say that it is less than my top preggy weight and that is a miracle in itself I will not take for granted. And in the spirit of almost-full discretion, I weighed after the exercise and butt ass naked. Not pretty but I needed any help I could get for this. On the other hand, I am pre-menstrual though and I am a gainer beforehand. I have gone as high as five or six extra pounds. Which I always thought was such a croc and makes no difference, but when you are only 5 foot 5 on a good day, standing rimrod straight and you are over 40, it makes a whole hell of a lot of difference. Obviously I have enough sense of self to not let things go crazy crazy and it also means my jean theory works pretty good. But I need to go buy smaller jeans if I want to keep this up. I read in a magazine that the French ladies tie a ribbon around their waist before they eat and when it gets tighter they stop. Same concept with my jean system. That waist band can only dig into your belly flab for so long and for only so far before it becomes painful and medically dangerous and you must stop. I could bust a spleen sometimes, I wear them so tight.
Alright. For real now. I have to end this. I have stuff to do and miles to walk. My legs is sore! And the temp is up to almost 50 degrees! And it’s sunny! I must go outside! I must stop using so many exclamation points! Thanks for making it all the way to the end! You all get 100 bonus calories to use as you please! Have a great afternoon and I’ll chat back here later with the rest of the stuff I had planned. See you on the sidewalk.
Just because this starts a whole new year. One week late.
And because I get to combine all my favorite things. A chunk update. Another weather update. And pictures from my phone. Of the sky. At sunset. With a lot of skeleton trees. This is what 55 degrees in January at dusk looks like this year. It was warm today too. I don’t generally go for the no jacket thing just because it’s hotter than usual. I’m the first one to yell pneumonia. And we’re all being lured into poor health by good weather. But I’ll admit I was only wearing a zip-up hoodie and I was getting kind of hot outside. The sun was shining down so bright that I was getting crabby and drowsy. The warm sun just makes me want to lay down in it and take a nap. Like a snake I guess. Or a fat middle aged non exercising chunk of fun. Here comes the chunk part! It’s a tough week. I’m more tired than usual. Kind of achy and greasy. And I was particularly sick of feeling sad and depressed. So I spruced up this old carcass a bit with some new hair color (sorry Amanda…I know you are the only one who should be allowed to fix my hair but I swear I cannot drive for two hours, pay for gas and tolls and feel good about myself until I get a job…the box has to be the cure for now…it looks good by the way. The kids didn’t even notice. They thought something was different but couldn’t put their fingers on it until after I told them. My theory on home hair coloring, or anything really that you try to do yourself, is that if no one notices anything different it’s a good job. Only the glaring mistakes or radical change gets any attention) and some good hygiene and hair removal. However I also ate a bunch of crap that I shouldn’t because it was here and I had to get rid of it by next week when the real work on chipping away the fat cells begins. You will all be happy to know that I managed to eat, er, get rid of, all the chips and dip and most of the cheese/sausage/cracker stores. I also disposed of an entire box of Whitman’s Dark Chocolates, with my daughters help, who interestingly enough HATES dark chocolate but was able to power through and help me save our household for the greater good. I also drank the rest of the wine from the other night and am currently working on the final two bags of Ghirardelli chocolates while washing them down with Jack Daniels. I haven’t cooked in a week or worked out. In fact we have been staying up way too late watching the bad movies we love so much. The kids have to go back to school Monday and I should be working by the next week. (That’s very wishful thinking as I am making it my sole purpose in life–well besides eating all the food in the house—to have a job in another week or two.) I will have a full report on the snacks because I took pics of them. Really. For instance, I found this GIANT potato chip in the bag. I mean it was really big. I don’t think I have ever seen one this big. So of course I took it’s picture. With the dip container and the TV remote for scale. I also took pics of the sky and some more trees, big surprise. And I have a movie list if you’re interested! We watch BAD movies. Like B movie bad. With old stars like Debbie Gibson and Tiffany in them. Or Lorenzo Lamas. Remember him? And they usually are battling a giant crocodile or a sharktopus, you know a shark-octopus hybrid, or a giant squid against a giant snake. Some are better than others and some are just terrible. This is how we spend family time. As for tonight, I have to try and hurry this along, because the BF is on his way with another sack full of fast food from the local greasy spoon and we have a special night of, All New Releases!, to watch. They have to be back tomorrow so we have to plan our time carefully. I actually feel a little sick right now from the food I ate today. I know this is not something I should even say out loud, but I cannot wait until I get my dang period! (pardon my french). My appetite will disappear, I can get some energy back and hit the gym instead of the Dunkin Donuts, and burn off the winter weight. From about 10 winters but who’s really counting anymore. I only have about 10 pounds to lose (for each winter) so it’s pretty do-able! I’m excited. Oh! I almost forgot! I finished a book! A reading book. Not a school book. It was the Denis Leary one. You might have read about it here two years ago or so. Sadly, that’s how long it has taken me. I finished it last year. Made it just under the mark too. Like December 29th or something. I still recommend it for anyone who likes Denis Leary. It is funny and easy to read. Even my mom’s brain surgeon said, “that guy is something else…” and he chuckled. So there you have it, a brain surgeon endorsement! I’m just not good with the whole concentration thing in sentence and paragraph form without a lot of pictures to break up the words. Except for when I type. I can really string some letters together huh? I put a picture of the book below so I wouldn’t ruin my sunset shot. Oh! And I also found my first street money of the year. One penny and one dime. I will try and keep that up to date now. Just as soon as I tally up last year and post it under its proper heading. There’s just no excuses for letting all you loyal readers down. You want to know these silly mundane things that have no benefit to anyone. And I cant even keep up. And truthfully I am not doing much else besides sitting around and thinking about doing stuff. I’m lucky we have laundry. Alright, seriously, let me wrap this up. I know the BF will be here any minute and I want to catch up on my Words With Friends (evil evil evil—addiction in smart phone form) and BeJeweled (the other evil in the world of computers and high tech gaming–that was meant to be funny. BeJeweled is hardly high tech. It’s really no-tech. It’s pretty though. Match the gems for one minute. Try to score as many points as possible. Why, oh why, would that ever be addicting??) Ok, I think I hear a car in the driveway and my liquor glass is empty. Using the words from my son’s first book that he really liked…breathe and think…relax and run…om shanti shanti…Until later…
Weather Update!
Going with a blue theme. And continuing with the “people reflected in ornaments/windows/etc..” theme. That’s Stevie. I am still trying to take down the decorations, so I have to use up the rest of these holiday themed pictures. I figure I can push it another week and that’s really it. Also, I meant to update the weather yesterday because I know my cousins depend on me to fill this internet space, and their valuable time, with information they can easily get by walking outside. Plus it’s been real nice. Like unseasonably nice. So nice that there is talk now of: “THE HORRIBLE WEATHER TO COME!!” Dun dun dun. We love predicting blizzards and snowfall that will be higher than our houses. Eh. I say it’s fine. It’s not really a matter of, one month of nice equals 3 months of crappy. It all depends on the winds and the atmosphere and the isotopes and all that meteorological stuff. If the world wants to warm up and top off right about here, I’m good with it. I’ll take rain and wind over white-outs and sleet any day. Anyway, it was a balmy 45 in the daytime yesterday and dropped to about 33 or so by night. It was very windy but I thought it felt kind of good. So imagine my surprise this morning when it was snowing! And some even stuck to the grass! Right now, at 5 pm, Monday, it’s cold. Not ridiculous cold, 23 degrees, (which I guess is pretty cold actually), but it’s not snowing. And it’s not too windy so it feels ok. Besides, I hear 50 degrees is on the way again by the end of the week. Yay! Global warming!
So that’s my update for now. No phone calls for any jobs today but I’m sure they will tomorrow. This is the year of positive thinking, all day, every day. I’m also going to go to the store and buy myself another interview blouse. I love Stevie doing the laundry for me, but she washed and dried my already snug blouse, and now it’s a little too small for me to stuff my upper body into. You know that scene in Tommy Boy? Fat guy in a little coat? Picture sausage arms in a black fitted blouse. Three quarter sleeves are not sexy when they are so tight your forearms have fat rolls. And speaking of rolls…I also need to purchase a pair of jeans (or two). I’ve lost another pair of jeans to the “thigh rub hole”. That’s where your jeans wear and tear at the place where your legs touch at the upper thigh area. Not everyone has this problem. Some people actually have a space between their legs and the material never touches. I say good for them. I am jealous, but can’t seem to ever exercise enough to open that gap. I guess it’s a lipo thing. But back to me. I am not now, nor have I ever been, one of those people. I am a thigh toucher. A corduroy avoider. I cannot be making noises while wearing my clothes (swish swish swish) c’mon, some of you know what I’m talking about. Besides that, I have other stuff that needs to be done on the big transformative 2012. Like get skinny. Well, not skinny. I am aiming for pre-child weight. I’d say baby weight but it’s been 14 years so that’s kind of pushing it. It’s probably attainable as long as I stop welcoming the day with Krispy Kreme doughnuts. (So tasty though, and if you microwave them to just the right temp you can literally smoosh them into a small enough lump that can fit into your mouth whole! That seems healthy!)
OK this wasn’t supposed to be this long. This is my third paragraph of winding this up. My kids have left again to go have dinner with their dad, and the BF is on the way with Chinese food. We were supposed to go to the gym as part of the new year, new you, but since they left unexpectedly and it’s really still kind of sort of a holiday technically legally recognized based on the fact that all of the banks and libraries are closed and there was no mail as an excuse to continue the bad habits until tomorrow when the year officially begins, this is what I am doing for just one more day. Posting. Eating. And half-ass laundrying and undecorating. I did manage to throw alot of junk food away today and will send the rest packing with the BF to his office tomorrow. One thing done. I even cleaned out the garage a little bit and have much garbage prepared for the morning. Two things! And now I will really end this post so I can clear a space on our table so we can settle in and let the food shoveling begin.
PS. For Amanda: Guess what the BF was getting me today at work? Are you ready for a really really really really long winter of annoying posts?? Are you? P. 90. X. 2. Yep. TWO. T-W-O. The second version. Doesn’t matter if I can’t even finish the first set. I shall attempt 90 days of one and then 90 days of two. I will fail I am sure. BUT. I can annoy you with it for 6 months!!! Happy New Year my darling sister!!! XO XO XO, or should I put, P90 X-O (hee hee hee) Forevah!
Happy New Year 2012!
Well it’s here! Thank goodness because I, seriously, could barely stay up to wait for it. And look at that adorable champagne! Isn’t that cute? Barefoot Bubbly? It just begs you to drink it! As we were walking the liquor aisles looking for something to buy for midnight we came across a whole shelf of these Moscato wines and champagnes. I have been hearing about them from some of my friends. And I think the opinions are all favorable. But. I still wouldn’t know. Sadly, I really was too tired and sick feeling to try and drink anything else. And, I did NOT drink a bunch before hand. DID NOT. We had some appetizer type snacks and some cheap red wine while watching the Dick Clark/Ryan Seacrest New Years show. So lame right? I did see New York have New Year so that’s something. Anyway, nothing was over the top or too strong, but I really stink at eating or drinking anything, besides water, after 8 or 9 pm. I guess it has to do with the over 40 thing or the Fat thing…not sure, but at any rate, if I eat too late my stomach kind of gets stuffed feeling and I feel like I will be sick. Plus I get heartburn if I try to lay down. It’s annoying, but it’s probably saving me from gaining any more weight. If I want to eat I have to cram it all in by the early evening. It’s almost like a gastrointestinal challenge. A gross and disgusting challenge and one you really do not want to win.
Anyhoo, I am about to head over to hang out with my family for the day and eat just a few more hours of gross and disgusting until we all call it quits by morning. You know, resolutions and all that. Lose weight, eat healthy, go to the gym, feel better…all the usual stuff we say and only manage to do for about a week or two. This year I am supposed to run a 6 mile race with my sissy and another 10 miler I want to do just for me. Can’t do it cold. Those days are long gone. Can’t do at nearly 200 pounds either. Well, I guess I could, but yikes! I don;t want to! Dang it! Also, I need that job I was talking about last night. That’s my first priority and I will be making that happen this week come hell or highwater. (Don’t you love that phrase? I do.) And once I get that job and get my first few paychecks I will be signing the kids up to the gym. That way none of us has any excuse to sit on the couch and be chunky. If we all have to go there is no excuse for not going at all. My kids need me! Sorry guys! Happy New Year! More exercise!
Alright I am out of here. Notice that in the picture above there is ANOTHER self-portrait! What the heck is going on?? I must be crazy putting myself out there! Feel free to send me any comments if you have them, even if it’s a resolution of your own. Once it’s out in the air it can’t be broken! Extra incentive! The world will know your shame and failure if you don’t succeed! There’s a cheery and inspirational thought! Enjoy your day wherever you are! Later!
New Year’s Eve
Well goodbye 2011. Hello 2012. Ugh. I have never been one of those people that really marks the passing of time. Or feels the heavy burden of it wearing away at my youth and counting down the ever decreasing time I have left on this Earth. But this year…a lot of good. Nothing too bad. Things that pretty much stayed the same. That’s what gets me thinking the most. The times when nothing happens. Just stillness. Stagnation. The word isn’t even nice sounding no matter where you put it in the sentence.
You’ll have to forgive me for this depressing post. I feel happy that I am pretty healthy (except for that acute case of FAT-itis I picked up over the last year, that my mother was kind enough to dx for me so that I can take the proper course of action—although that won’t be tonight–wink wink). And I did finally graduate and get that RN license. My life’s goal. However, I am currently 2 weeks to 4 months behind all my classmates on the job and experience getting. I totally and completely underestimated how much having a job and earning money and being a vital part of society has on my own personal self-esteem and general disposition as a woman in the world. Also it just sucks being broke. And as always, I am grateful and happy for my two gorgeous and hilarious children. My reason for living pretty much and never giving up. Except that neither one will be here to say goodbye to the old and welcome the new as both have abandoned me for better and more exciting evenings of fun and celebrations. Traitorous spawn of my loins! The boy will be off with his dad and uncles (who are the same age actually, but that’s another story, so we just call them cousins because it is easier) and he will be spending the night hanging out with other teenagers, playing xbox and acting like teenage boys do. Crazy on the Pepsi and snacks and late night shenanigans. The girl is with my sister and her children and friends. Actually, now that I think of it, is at this very moment, having a New Year’s Eve party at a place my sister found where they do a package thing for the younger crowd. Then they will go home and celebrate again by eating snacks and having “drinks” while watching TV and one of the shows that they have to ring in the new year. Hmm. It’s rather sad when your kids have more going on then you do. Oh well. Hopefully they will at least call me at midnight. Or send a text. Ooooh!! and Eewww!!…look at me turning into one of those old, sad, mom ladies, crying because their kids never call or come over! Yikes! I am definitely on the slippery slope to old age. Poopers!
I didn’t really have a plan so I guess it’s my own fault. One of these years we are leaving town and I’m spending New Year’s in Vegas. Or Hawaii. Yeah Hawaii sounds really good. Maybe the Caribbean. Someplace warm and beachy. I know I’ve said that before. Well, not this year. This year is just me and the BF. (Who I am also very grateful for and extremely lucky to have in my life. Thanks honey. Even at my lowest moments I can still say I have a boyfriend and that’s something. Love you.) He thinks I won’t be fun but he’s wrong. I’m just playing sad and despairing. Once I get some junk food and a drink in me the party will be rolling over here. For now though, we still have to go out and get some stuff for tomorrow. We are making appetizers for a family get-together for the New Year Day. It’s something fun and new we are trying to keep our extended family together and in each others lives. It’s so easy when you are little. Anyway, I hope it’s not too crazy out there. I hope the stores are still open. Then we can settle in and find something to do I am sure. My brother-in-law said this, about tonight, when I left my daughter there the other day, “If I can’t go out to the bar then I want to sit home and stuff my belly full of as much food as I can.” Wise words brother. And pretty much MY plan for the night too. So thanks for that! I’ll see you all tomorrow!
Despite the above paragraphs, life is pretty good. And I hope it’s good for you too. But if not, then I’m glad this year is over and we can start brand new in just a few hours! Even though some of these days can really break a soul, I truly believe that as long as you wait for just one more of those days, you always have another chance to do something different. Now who’s gonna argue with that?
Have a safe and Happy New Year! Don’t drink and drive please. That kind of chance is NEVER worth it. Wake up alive tomorrow so we can get this new year started! I have some goals and resolutions too I guess. The usual stuff, weight loss, job, school, etc…maybe I’ll post about it tomorrow or later on. But, as a treat to my loyal readers, and something I usually never do, I posted a snazzy self portrait of myself! Lucky! That’s me in the red ornament above taking a picture of myself. Looks just like me! Oh and I also used red to highlight the first sentences. Cheers!
Clear Blue Sunny 33 Degrees at 10 AM
I had a dream last night that it snowed. I got up and the streets and driveways and lawns were covered with half a foot of snow. In my dream I was cursing because it just figured that it would snow on the day that we actually have to drive an hour north. But thankfully, it was only a dream. I could pretty much go the whole winter without snow if this region would be so accommodating. I doubt we will get that lucky but it’s something to wish for. And because I know how much my cousins love my weather updates, I thought I would put up a pic of our sky, with a skeleton tree that I can’t stop taking pictures of. This is today. Like 10 minutes ago. I just ran outside to get the best picture I could for this site. I will go that extra mile to keep things fresh and current. My BF just asked me, “What the hell are you doing??” I said, “Just goofing around.” But we both know…Only the best for my friends and family. Enjoy your day and Merry Post-Christmas!
This is also Packer Day!
Technically this should have been posted YESTERDAY. Today is actually December 26 and Christmas is over. The Green Bay Packers played a little football game against the Chicago Bears last night and of course they won. They are a 14 and 1 team. Clinched their playoff spot and got home field advantage or whatever. I was kind of busy having Christmas with my kids last night (and watching the game) so I neglected to throw something up here. These posts are probably going to start getting real scarce in the next two weeks—not that that is really unusual for me since I can go a month without a word—but because I have to really hit the bricks for a job. I can’t be unemployed for January. Things are starting to get really stressful without two paychecks and my “win the lottery” strategy didn’t work. I still have hope for my “find a giant bag of money on the street” scheme, but I’m not holding my breath.
Anyway we saw the above Packer mobile out in a parking lot at Menard’s, so of course I took pics. I am a recent fan of the Packers. Like the last two or three years. I have to keep it kind of quiet because I do live in the Chicago area and this could get me assaulted by crazy Bear fans. I even have a jersey but I have only worn it once. It’s endless sarcastic comments, bordering on threatening, one after another when you walk around this part of the world. I like to say I am a football fan. Which I really am. I have three different team jerseys and I love every one. I just got an awesome Terrible Towel for X-mas. (That would be a Pittsburgh Steeler thing—if you want to know the hows and whys I am afraid you will have to do an independent research study on that one. And then report back to me please, because I really don’t know how that started.) I also received a GB Packer coffee mug which I am using right now while I type this. Thank you BF! I also have my tiny helmets collection and some college football stuff (The Razorback Craze–you can see it all with the link to the right if you want).
So that’s it for now. We have one more Christmas to do today. My mom and family. I’m pretty sure I already laid this out in a previous post but we can’t really get together on the actual holiday because of goofy schedules, so we are doing it today. Kind of like my last vacation day in a long string of vacation weeks and months. Haw haw. Anyway I got onions that need to be wrapped in cream cheese and the tastiest processed meat, that will also simultaneously destroy healthy heart cells while you are gaining a few more robust indestructible fat cells, and remarking, “Mmm so good” along with other appetizers that are just dying to clog up those arteries stat. Follow that up with some nice diabetes and cirrhosis, I mean dessert and drinks, and we are having a party to end the weekend right! All the way until New Years anyway when we are doing it again! Ahh the holidays! Love and MI’s. Fabulous.
Here’s more pics of the Packer truck. Notice the detail. Notice the Indiana license plate that I left slightly visible so that you can draw your own conclusions about who in the hell would do this to the vehicle they actually need to drive. It has a Pac-Man on one side and Mrs. Pac-Man on the other chomping down little Bear logo’s. Creative. Helmet on the roof. Check. Green and yellow spray paint paint job. Check. Smarmy, but not too offensive insult on the back. Check. Dingleball Packer hanging decoration? Check. That weird egg carton packing material (although it may be carpet of some sort too) laid out all over the dashboard. Check. I’m not even sure what that is for. Color? Anyway, enjoy!
just shy of pretty 