Prepared To Be “WOW”-ed!!

June 9, 2013 at 12:38 pm (Birds, Body and Brains!, Day to Day, Exercise, Family, For Mason, For Stevie, Getting Old, Picture Posts, Posts In Pictures, Summer Break, Weather) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

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Very first pic with the new phone. Standing in a parking lot, looking up at a light pole, and capturing that seagull, sitting there, peaking out over the top. Score! It was luck actually. The next pic I took was of the same light pole, but with no bird. I think that most of the pictures I take involve some kind of bird. That’s probably weird right? Anyway, I was testing the zoom and the acuity. Not bad. I must experiment more. In case you are wondering, it’s the Samsung Galaxy S4. (Shout Out!) And I’m not even gonna lie…it’s a realllly nice phone. It’s probably the best phone I have ever owned. My daughter has the IPhone and LOVES it. Really really loves it. Like, it sleeps on a pillow next to her head, loves it. (I am pretty sure I have a picture of this) And she is jealous of this new phone and grudgingly admits that it might be better than hers. Win!

I will bring you more, equally exciting and powerful shots, as the days go on. I haven’t had much time off since I got this phone so it’s mostly been getting used to it and putting all my stuff back on that I now need to function daily. You know, real important things, like my e-mail accounts (I have 2–Yahoo and G-Mail), Tiny Village (only game I decided to keep from the old phone–a smart move I think. Obviously I waste a lot of time with pointless other things), Facebook, Instagram, You Tube, LinkedIn (because I am a professional dammit!), and Twitter. Did I mention that I have a twitter account now? Well, I do. That’s another whole story. #justshyofpretty. Of course. I’m going to make this my thing until I die. I don’t even have a custom ringtone yet! The shame! It seriously took me, 2 or 3 days, just to get all the tones and alerts for notifications and alarms straightened out. If you pick the wrong sound it can just keep playing and playing until you physically touch the the phone. And every single separate “feature” has its own separate tone/alert/notification setting to set. I think I got everything I actually use set up. Now I figure I will just wait for something to ring or buzz on the phone and adjust it as it comes up.

Here is one truth though, that I will share about all this technology, and something that I never even saw coming: The worst part about getting this new phone is that I feel old all of a sudden. Like, “aging-ly” old. That’s not a word, but us old folks can make them up whenever we want now. Feeling my mortality, I think they say. When I had this brand new phone in my hand and I was trying to make it work, and couldn’t, I really felt like I was about to join the age train and it was going to choo-choo-chug me away to the techno graveyard for the decrepit and clueless. I never have enough time to learn the phone, I can’t see the damn screen without reading glasses, I apparently need at least 6-7 hours of sleep now to function normally (this is up from 4-5, which really irks me for some reason), both of my kids are now in high school, and my left hip has started hurting. Wah wah wah.

I have never been a person to be hit by that “mid-life-crisis” thing, but I feel as if I could be now. And sadly, I don’t even know what is going to set it off. I watched my daughter light up the room with all the employees at the Verizon store when we got my phone. She was literally like a fresh, bright, youthful presence that people wanted to talk to and be near.  And she just knew, and understood everything that was being shown and said to her. I am “the mom” now. I love love love being the mom of this fabulous little girl/mini-adult, but ouch! that hurt being reminded that I am still, just the mom, and that I need these young people to help me keep up with the times. Double ouch! I see my kids with everything in front of them, a whole wide world to be explored and be a part of, so much bigger than when I was young. There is so much more to do and see now and so many better ways to get there.

“I don’t want to be old!” Cries another 40 year-old, (plus), old person.

Well, there you go. All that from a picture of a light pole. With a bird. Mortality is a sneaky bitch. Did I also mention that I met a 102 year old lady at breakfast last weekend? One hundred and TWO. Walking. Without assistance. And no cane or walker either. She was even able to button up her own coat. She had the chicken salad. Hope springs. Now, I’m not sure that I even want to live to be 102, but it goes to show that the option is there for some. And it lets me know that I am not even half-done yet with life. So that’s what I’m going to take away from this. I will loosely hold onto my kids, while still pushing them forward, for as long as I can, and then let them go too. If I do it right, hopefully they will always want to turn around and pull me along with them once I can’t push anymore.

But these are words for the future. Right now, I have to go to work again to pay for that future. It’s Sunday. It’s beautiful in the Midwest right now. The BF is motorcycle riding for one of those charity/benefit group things, with his friend. My kids are camping with their dad. It’s quiet.  Go out and enjoy this day if you can. I will be hoping for a fast quiet night so I can have a nice day off tomorrow. Monday Monday. Summer break is over. Football camp for the boy. Volleyball camp for the girl. And I have a doctor appointment. Just a check-up. Tune-up. Blood results. Preserve the youth for as long as I can. I think I might exercise tomorrow too. Strong body. Strong heart. Hips that don’t hurt! Later.

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Blooming Daffodils!

February 9, 2012 at 1:55 pm (Body and Brains!, Day to Day, Employed Posts!, Exercise, Football, School News) (, , , , , , )

By the time these daffodil sprouts turn into flowers I hope I will be properly work-a-fied. It’s been one week now and I am still trying to figure out how to re-organize everything again. At work and at home. The work is just plugging along. Trying to get the routine. Trying to figure out how to manage my time so that everybody gets everything they need in my time on the floor. I’m going to try a new system tonight and see if I can help myself stay on track better. Thank goodness for the people who are precepting me. They are awesome.

Here at home, I have given myself 30 minutes to complete this post and go to the large pile of laundry that is sitting on the couch and, sort of, in one basket on the floor. That’s where it originally started. Nice and small and contained to one location. But as the days go by and people need specific clothes and I have to keep washing my same uniform, the pile grows. So that certainly hasn’t changed since school or even after school was done. I fear this may be one of those things that never change. The grocery accumulating has also suffered. I have a list. I meant to go. But I believe I am now getting my PM schedule-body-energy-alertness-shift-in-sleep-pattern thing going and it’s really messing up my daytime-energy-sleep thing. I slept yesterday AND today after the kids left. That should be enough right? I know my nights are getting better because I can actually see to drive home now. My contacts still felt fresh Tuesday night. And that’s a good thing because the weather keeps threatening to be crappy and it seems to be giving it it’s best effort at 11 pm when I’m trying to get home. Rain, sleet, snow and icy highways. It took me almost an hour the other night and I saw two accidents that looked slip and slide related. It’s supposed to snow tomorrow too, during the exact hours I will be at work. Perfect timing I say. Another challenge.

Ok. I missed my 30 minute cut-off. I set it for another 15, and I am at 13 right now. I would have done these boring home tasks yesterday on my day off but I chose to go to the school and see my kids play volleyball and then stay to cheer on the 8th grade basketball team as they won their conference championship game! They are going to state! It was very exciting and the gym was packed with people from both schools. Even the high school basketball team and coaches were there to cheer them on and probably to check out who’s coming to them next year. I believe the football coach was there too. I only mention it because I think he looks like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Seriously. And he was sitting right behind me with his knee in my back for most of the game. But you know, that’s just fine. I mean, come on, he’s not an ugly man. And it was a very muscular knee. I can’t wait for football season to start. I mean, I can’t wait until Mason is on the football team. I’m sure it’s not unusual for the moms to want to “talk” to the coach all the time about their kids right?? (I love you Jeff! But come on. You know he is good looking! Let me just have this!) Anyway, speaking of sexy football coaches and their muscles, I need to start working out to build my muscles. The weight thing is already happening and now I need to tone it all up. Again. For my health. Summer practice starts in 4 months.

Time’s up! Everyone have a great day! Next time I see the outdoors it will almost be Friday! 2 more days and I’m off for the weekend! Later.

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It’s Not Just Another Day

February 2, 2012 at 11:25 am (Blood Pressure, Body and Brains!, Day to Day, Employed Posts!, Job Search, Nurse News, Shameless Self Promotion) (, , , , , )

It’s my day OFF!!

Finally! I can say stuff like that again!

In case you’ve missed all my increasingly depressing and dreary postings in the last few months, I have been on a full time job search for a job of any time. And all my hard work has finally paid off. I didn’t want to jinx anything by declaring myself employed until I actually signed papers and got a start date. That would be yesterday. First day, all official like. Signed, payrolled, name-tagged, uniformed, bio-scanned, physicaled, TB’d, and scheduled up. I have today off and then I work all weekend and next week and so on and so on for as long as they let me. I have a full time schedule with full time pay and benefits in a place I consider to be pretty awesome so far. Everything I wanted and a little bit more. I’m sorry, ahead of time, but if you ask where or any other details, I have to say that I can’t answer. It’s policy not to broadcast anything over the internet, and I wouldn’t do it anyway. But know that it’s great and I am happy! When I see you in person, I’ll gush and gush, as you know I can! For now let’s just say I have a job and I can start paying back the cost of my education and then some.

That picture above is the first specific nurse related newspaper/journal/magazine that I have received as a new RN. I was pretty excited to see my name on it and to be included in the nursing community. It’s the small things. And it’s perfect for today! I wish the weather was a bit better but as long as there’s no snow I am happy with it. And, in case you were wondering, my BP issue is still happening but the work doc cleared me, and gave me some tips to help me keep it down. Turns out, I may have been sabotaging myself with all the water I was trying to drink. I will be asking my doctor today about that in addition to the low sodium diet. It’s very confusing and there are no clear answers. It’s good because I will be even more compassionate now for my patients who take BP meds, or anything really, and I will try just a little bit harder to explain how they work so they never have to feel confused or frustrated like I do. And I received a lot of training for these medication things! Just goes to prove that you really do learn something new every day!

Alright, I need to go get some new shoes I can walk in, hit the doctor’s office and then head over to the school to see what place my daughter gets in the science fair this year. Last year was a first place so the bar is high! I have pics of the project and it’s safe to put up now that the competition is over. More later!

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Running With The Doodie

January 31, 2012 at 1:10 pm (Blood Pressure, Body and Brains!, Day to Day) (, , , , )

Well that made me laugh anyway. Theme of the morning: Doodie and Immaturity.

And bread! I love it. I could eat it for every single meal for the rest of my life and be happy. My favorite food is toast. Seriously. Toast and butter. That’s it. Any time, no matter how I feel. No matter what else is available. It’s my go-to. It’s also kind of bad for you. I know this. So before anyone jumps on my comments and scolds me for the loaf genocide I commit every day, I concede. I have to give it up. At least give it up as my main food source. It’s made with all kinds of evil “white” ingredients. White flours and white sugars, etc. And of course, if you don’t know this, it contains ALOT of sodium. As comparison, milk and butter have a near 1:1 ratio of sodium to calories. Oatmeal, on the other hand, has zero sodium for all its calories. Provided you eat only the original flavor and from the cylinder carton. The instant packets are still processed with it. It’s kind of strange. You can’t taste it, but it’s there adding mg’s where you don’t need them. Bread though, actually has more sodium than calories. I think that is just wrong and so disheartening. Being low sodium almost forces you to eat less calories because the foods that contain zero sodium naturally, are almost all naturally good for you. There are exceptions or at least things that people could fire back at me and argue. Dark chocolate has zero sodium (Check those labels though, because some companies slip in a 10 or 15 mg, and you have to pick your battles here) and isn’t made with milk. Which is an extra bonus for me because I avoid dairy like the plague. Milk chocolate does contain sodium and sometimes alot because milk has alot naturally. See how that works? I have been spending twice as long at the grocery store in the last few weeks, and going more often, because of all this label attention and the fact that fresh foods do not last as long as processed foods. I know it will get easier and faster once I am totally acclimated to the ↓Na Club.

Anyway, the point of this post was that bread up top has ZERO sodium. And it’s made with whole grains and stuff. Another entire subject I could write another paragraph about, because I have to switch to those too. Brown rice, brown breads, orange potatoes, wheat pastas and the like. I cannot confirm the “rightness” or nutritional level and benefit of the exact grains in this particular bread because I don’t know that food group well enough yet. But I think it says it’s made with whole grain wheat, which I think is the good stuff. I can confirm at a later date if anyone really cares as I am currently out of my supply. I’m still transitioning slow on the whole grain thing because white mashed potatoes are so delicious. And what’s better with Chinese food than white sticky rice? Oh yeah, weight loss and low blood pressure. But, to get back to this bread.  At first I thought it was pretty gross. It is very noticeably without salt.  It tasted bland and flavorless. Almost “flat” tasting. After eating it for a few weeks though, I find it to be quite delicious and grainy. It’s my new favorite bread in the whole world. And you can buy it at Jewel. That makes it available to quite a large population. Try it if you can find it.

Tip for the tasty: Buy one first to get used to it. Then when you love it like I do, buy all the loaves that they have whenever you go. It sells fast I have noticed. I have even purchased the uncut version. I’m just crazy out of control for that bread!

Here’s the big finish. Literally. Tying together the doodie part with the whole grain part. You will know you are eating whole grains when you can enjoy their nutty, crunchy, complex flavors going in. Toasting, spreading, chewing, swallowing. And then you get the chance to enjoy them all again on the way out. Sometimes good health is NOT pretty. Whole grains have shells, exoskeletons, kernels, a hard outer coating that we, as humans, cannot digest. They call it roughage. I call it proof.

I’m going out into the 55 degrees for some of that exercise stuff. Have a great afternoon!

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Well It Sure Feels Like A Brand New Start

January 30, 2012 at 7:45 pm (Blood Pressure, Body and Brains!, Day to Day, Exercise, Job Search, Losing the Fat, Skeleton Trees, Weather) (, , , , , , , , )

I know it’s not February first yet, but according to the air temperature it’s like a whole new season. We need to come up with some kind of phrase to identify this trend in unusual, possibly alarming, weather system changes. I can do 50 degrees all “winter”.  I’ll even take the occasional one day snow storm followed by three days of melt. However my little daffodil buds are getting confused. Here’s a picture of them looking sad and sort of green-yellow in the grey and dirty dirt. The ground is not ready for them to sprout yet, but the heat says, “Come on up! The air is fine!” But it’s not.

I shall monitor their early progress for you. Via words and more pictures. Although be prepared for this site to take another sucky turn. As you know, I pride myself on posting just about every day with brilliant and insightful, meaningful, inspiring words and positive vibes and energy to you and the world abroad. Uh. huh. Well, I post every few days. And it’s almost always positive. That won’t change. The new issue is that I may actually have something else that I will need to be doing, full time, and for a good amount of money. Hint hint. Cough cough. Ahem. If I ain’t being too subtle here. Something worthy enough to give up my day job as resident blobber, blogger, desperately searching for an outside gig. I will let you know by the end of the week if I can finally change my Facebook status to: Works. Period. Anyway, February is always my lucky month for work related stuff. That’s when I got my last job too. It’s weird when stuff happens like that isn’t it?

I’m about to go get some food with the family and have a margarita. Just one. And it will be small. Well, smaller. We have an awesome place very close by. And I checked my med info. Moderate alcohol is ok. One drink every week or two will probably be just fine. And FYI, in case you were wondering, I have my next doc appt. this week to check on those meds, and even though it seems unlikely, I really think I feel better. Like, not sick feeling. Clear headed and without any throbbing or eye and temple pain. Maybe that BP was killing me. Sometimes drinking the kool-aid isn’t always a death sentence. Hard lesson to learn. In just a few days, I have tried to overhaul my sodium intake and step up the exercise regimen. We, me, everything, that you eat for convenience or that comes in a processed package is LOADED with mg’s and mg’s of that sneaky sodium. I spent my last few days buying some snazzy new jeans and t-shirts to transition myself slim again. Thanks to the new spandex and technologically advanced textile manufacturing, my jean size didn’t change! And no one will ever see the tags that say “high stretch fabric” or “extreme tensile strength materials”. Those labels are on a big old garbage truck heading for the dump. And I purposely shopped for colorful fruits and vegetables today.  I think I shall be more boring to hang out with, but, I shall be hanging out a lot longer. Alright, one more picture because I like to take pictures of the skeleton trees. Later.

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Are You Down With OPP??

January 26, 2012 at 3:07 pm (Body and Brains!, Day to Day, Losing the Fat, My Mom) (, , )

Cause I’m DOWN with OPP! Yeahhh baby…Too bad the OPP in this post means:

Old People’s Problems.

I’m definitely down with something. How I must chuckle these last 24 hours at my naive and childish posting from a mere two weeks ago. You’ll recall, I claimed to be in denial about my weight issues and diet and exercise and such. And I was in denial, and clearly still am. You can read it here if you want or just move forward with this post because it’s really not that hard to follow. Click on the link right here.  FATTY BO BATTY IN DENIAL.  Anyway, that was just a poke and a tap compared to the major slap down I received yesterday morning.

As I have been merrily skipping through job interview after job interview in the last two weeks, I have been landing on an offer more than not. (Thank goodness. I needed the boosts.) For one position, I needed to go get a physical. In case you don’t know, I am a registered nurse, and my job does require a certain level of fitness to perform well. It’s not anything too crazy; ability to lift and bend, some physical strength and tone, good eyesight, hearing, no drugs, etc…pretty much an overall general well-being. And I have all that. Sure I’m a little porky, but I have the strength and the muscle tone under there. And I could probably use an updated eye exam, it’s been 2 years, but I read all the letters on the chart. So what do you think did me in?? My @!#$%^&!@ blood pressure!! Excuse my shift key!!

Like a record scratching to an immediate and ugly halt, the B/P done me in. No clearance. It’s too high. End of physical. Go to your doc. Get some meds. Get this form signed. Call us when you’re done. (Ooh…here’s a good place to put in a TV quote I’ve been keeping in the hopper): So Long, See Ya Sucka, Bon Voyage, Arrevaderci, Later Loser, Goodbye, Good Riddance, Peace Out, Let The Doorknob Hit Ya Where The Good Lord Split Ya, Don’t Come Back Round Here No More, Asta La Vista Baby, Kick Rocks, And The Get Hell Out!

It’s not even that high. I mean, it’s not good, but it’s not crazy, stroking out, in the hundreds, off the cuff high. But it’s too high for the doc to feel safe letting me pick up a bunch of heavy things. It’s all about the heart disease. The silent killer. And oh, by the way, you of all people should know better. Yeah. I got it. For real this time.

By some twist of fate, my mom had to get an x-ray, and she missed her first opportunity because she decided to drive around aimlessly lost a few days ago, and couldn’t find the health center. So we planned to be there at the same time and we could go to breakfast after. Well, it’s true what they say, you are never too old to need your mommy. A fact, my mommy reminded me of, as we sat in the vestibule area after we were both done. Moms do like to keep driving that point home whenever they get the chance. When the receptionist told me to go get a follow-up with my doctor because this one isn’t clearing me, and she handed me the form I need to get filled out, and told me to not worry, it happens all the time, I will tell you, I was stricken. And I am not ashamed, maybe a little ashamed, to say that I cried like the biggest baby in the whole wide world right in that atrium area, sitting next to my mom on a cozy little couch in front of warm toasty fire. It would have been quite the touching moment if not for my complete mental breakdown. In public. Kudos to my mom who didn’t even bat an eye. Crying loudly in the middle of a health center? Whatevs. Probably happens more than I think anyway.

So here’s the thing. What it breaks down to is that I am OLD. Older. It is inevitable. I have to lead the pack of my sisters and brothers down the path of old age and I DO NOT want to. Before you think I have completely lost touch with my reality and my mortality, I realize it is only blood pressure. It’s not cancer or an illness that will start the end of my life. It is a very common and very treatable thing that can be managed for basically the rest of my life. And I was in big time denial, because I didn’t want to take medication. Sometimes you need the help until the diet and exercise can kick in with some help. But guess what? Wasn’t really following any kind of good plan. My name is…and I am a dumb ass. Well, my eyes are wide open, and screaming for help. Hell, the high B/P is probably why they are screaming. But it still sucks being first.

I’ve noticed other stuff too. Like my close vision, lately, requires me to do the whole, move the words closer in or farther away from my face, until the letters come into focus. Sucks. Can’t see that tiny red print on a black background without a beam of light. Sucks. Sweating my pits off in a 75 degree room when everybody else is complaining its cold. Sucks. Night sweats. Sucks. Shorter periods, less cramps. Yeah! But longer or shorter in-betweens, kinda sucks. I keep track, because I’m sure I will have to eventually. Just like I should have been keeping track of my B/P. I figured it was fine. It’s been under the danger level when I do check it, but obviously the docs machines say different. And before my smarty pants cousin types in a “menopause” comment (again…thanks cuz…at least I’m still a little bit younger than you!! haha) I am sure that horror is looming ahead, but the B/P issue is all it’s own thing I think. Well, not a totally isolated thing. The added weight and the poor diet probably contributed greatly to the cause.

I have an appointment today. In about an hour actually. Not really looking forward to it. My doctor is going to yell at me. Why didn’t I follow-up a year ago?? Have we learned anything from all this?? Why are you still the same weight?? (Actually, I was being soft on myself there. I believe I might actually weigh more than the last time I was there.) Ugh! So embarrassing. Time to grow up. I think the phrase people like to use is, “Put on the big girl panties,” (not my fav but this site is for the people) and suck it up. It’s my turn to start contributing to the global health and pharmacological economy with my hard earned dollars.

Anyway, I am down with OPP. But not for long. Thanks Mom! I Love You! I am very glad you were there to see me crack open the giant egg of UNFAIR!!!

I will end with something funny, as I must always do, and because I just remembered what my mom said to me while I was balling my eyes out like a little bitch. And it wasn’t mean or anything, It was just my mom being consoling and compassionate. I need to come up with a word to describe her wisdom nuggets. Anyhoo, when I get upset, I usually don’t eat. It makes my stomach hurt too bad, and I usually can’t swallow. So I’m crying and crying, and I manage to sputter out a wailed, “Now I don’t even want to go to breakfast anymore. I’m too fat and it’s just gonna make it worse! Boo hoo. Sob sob.” Disgusting.

And my mom says, while she is patting my head and trying to stop me from crying, “Well, honey, missing one meal isn’t going to make any difference. Now come on.”

That’s funny right?? I thought it was. Is that what you expected she would say? What would you say to someone? I don’t even know. But it always catches me off guard. The laughs ensued. She followed that up with the basics: You just lose the weight, cut out the junk and exercise. Not all crazy exercise like you do, just simple. Walk. Don’t eat potato chips. This is a blessing in disguise. Blah blah blah. I know it. Still stings to have to walk the walk.

I’m going to wrap this up. I want to be back later to update, but no guarantees. I get to take my son to a high school registration/orientation meeting today that I cannot miss. Got to start getting him ready for the big school. I am so excited for him! It’s the next step! Everyone be safe out there. The weather is acting crazy again, and you don’t want to miss anything new on my site of silliness!

So…Later Gators. After While Crocodile. Adios Amigo. See yuh. Buh Bye. Seriously, enough. Toodles. And Cheerio. That’s it I swear.

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What’s that old saying? Feed a fever and starve a fat cell?

January 13, 2012 at 8:02 pm (Body and Brains!, Day to Day, Exercise, Giant Food, Losing the Fat, Run. Walk. Weights.) (, , , , )

So hungry!! Why is food so tasty?? FYI, I am not eating that right now. That was last week. When I was unhealthy. Remember? I talked about finding the giant chip? Well, that’s it. I put it next to the remote for perspective. And that’s the 16 oz. dip container. Which I threw out yesterday because it does not need to be in the house anymore. I am trying to be good. So far, I am averaging out to about 1500-2000 cals a day. Which I also already said, but thought I would say again so I can lead into the whole starving myself thing. In the days leading up to my big interview (No call at all today. Is that Friday the 13th good luck or bad luck? We’ll never know) I tried to drink buckets of water and eat minimal food quantities. Well that plan backfired on Wednesday because I felt sick as a dog when I finally did eat. I was so hungry that as soon as I started eating some food my stomach cramped and I thought I was going to throw up. Plus I had a raging, pounding, piercing headache because I drank coffee in the afternoon like a dumb ass. I have been trying to limit my coffee drinking to about noon. I have been getting heartburn and headaches if I try and drink it all through the day like I used to. At one point I was even drinking it on the ride home from work at 5 and 6 at night. That’s crazy right? Anyway, I notice it more now, especially if I stop for awhile in the morning, like to exercise or shower, or drink more water and eat. If I try to have coffee on an empty exercised and watered stomach in the afternoon, I feel like someone is trying to stab me in the head with a knife. That’s probably NOT a good thing. So that’s one more thing to add to the “old” list.

Anyway, that’s it really. Just wanted to talk about the correlation between food and exercise. Definitely works better and delivers more results if you do both. Eat the healthy way. And in evenly spaced increments. No starvation tactics. And exercise every day. 30 minutes plus, if you can. I also needed an excuse to post these potato chip pictures. The other one is below. The giant potato chip is sitting over the top of the dip container! We are the party people. Dinner is on the way so I gotta go, but keep reading if you haven’t today and find a related post below that! Eating less+ exercise = Bones! Later!

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BREAKING NEWS! Did any of you guys know that there are bones UNDER your skin??

January 13, 2012 at 3:09 pm (Body and Brains!, Day to Day, Exercise, Losing the Fat, Run. Walk. Weights., Unemployed Posts) (, , , , , )

Sorry if I alarmed you with my punctuated and capitalized headline. This is supposed to be a funny site. If you build it, they will come. More like if you wish for it in one hand, and **BLEEP** in the other…

Yes, already off topic, funny site, although you really couldn’t tell from the last few days or weeks. I still haven’t heard anything about that job, so let’s just get that right out of the way first. Maybe later. Maybe Monday. It’s frustrating and nerve wracking. I mean I can take rejection. That’s one of the reasons I post here. Nobody would pay for this, (I’ve tried—although I might be better at it now, and I should try again) so I just give it away for free. Besides it makes me feel better. Free psych sessions courtesy of the internet. Put it out there and it can’t bother you anymore! Anyway, like I was saying, I can take rejection. I am all for the school of  “rip it off fast.” You know, the whole band-aid metaphor. Give me the bad news. Or the good news. Then we can start making plans for the next thing. But it’s the waiting that kills me every time. So, nothing there yet.

As for these, so called, bones, I am happy and surprised to see that, 1.) Most of mine are still nestled safe and secure under the layer of “thick” skin I posses and cultivate all over my body. And 2.) A few of them are trying to surface for air. As I stepped out of the shower and started combing the rat’s nest on my head that I refer to as my hair (although my mom will, definitely and loudly, stick with the “rat’s nest” description. Or, maybe not a whole nest. Perhaps just a slightly built nest. But I digress.) Anyway, I noticed as I was moving my arm up and down I could see this sort of, roundness and pointiness, at my shoulder level. As I investigated further, I recognized that it was my long lost shoulder muscle and the end part of my collarbone. The parts that give you the look of having a “ball” on the top of your arm and a bone that kind of sits on top. I also noticed my collarbones are trying to make their way out from under my neck fat. Nice image! But there it is.

Again, I was going to give up and NOT exercise today because I hate it. And I want to sit on my butt and feel sorry for myself. I don’t want to listen to a cheery girl tell me to “give it all I got.” I got nothing. So I forced myself to get up and just start. I told myself I could always do it half-assed or quit altogether. I did not wear anything good or even put on shoes. The funny thing was, it did feel like crap at first, no lie, but then it felt good and I felt less bad. So I finished Miss Firm, did some extra ab stuff and some girl push-ups (I had too. The man ones are making me feel like a weakling, the count is still under “1”), took a shower and was amazed to notice these extra bumps trying to make space on my body. It’s subtle, to be sure. No Miss Universe contests just yet. But it made me feel really good that after only 5 days, I can still snap back to even a small semblance of good health and shape. My years are numbered here and I have got to just stay at a livable place, so I don’t have to keep re-building the boat every time I go out onto the water. That’s some kind of mixed metaphor or something, but I like the way it sounds so it stays in without editing.

That makes Day 5 of exercise. In a row. In case you missed that count. And Work Out 2, of the Firm’s, “see results in 10 workouts” sticker promise. I have low hopes for tomorrow. It’s Saturday and we have plans. Bowling starts again and there are things to be done, but maybe if I plan it right, I can keep the pace. Gotta keep the ship sealed tight if you don’t want any leaks. Rump frump frump. That’s supposed to be like a stodgy man giving you the business. Huuh-rumph! Later.

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One winter snow storm, after weeks of unseasonably and globally warming temperatures, delivered as predicted!

January 13, 2012 at 12:40 am (Body and Brains!, Day to Day, Exercise, Losing the Fat, My Mom, Run. Walk. Weights., Unemployed Posts, Weather) (, , , , , )

No snow pictures yet. Maybe tomorrow. Please enjoy this decoration from the kids winter band program.

As for that snow prediction, you can thank me. Or blame me. Or call me a witch. I predicted this days and days ago. I told everyone who would listen that there will not be any snowfall, no matter what the news says, until the day I get called for an interview. I haven’t had one really important place to travel to for months. No place to go that would really matter if I couldn’t make it for any reason. I said the day that I have to go on my first job interview will be the day the snow comes to call on our humble community. Welp…they called me last Thursday to set me up for today at 9am and the weather men started predicting, “Snow Watch! Doom! 2012!” on Monday. It never fails. Monday Tuesday Wednesday, 50, balmy, sunny…Thursday: RAIN! SLEET! ICE! SNOW!! Turn off the lights.  Lock your doors. Leave town. Buy all the supplies at the CVS.  You can NOT escape SNOW in the Midwest in the WINTER! Seriously. I had to go to the CVS to get toilet paper and I kid you not, the cold case was completely empty. No milk, no eggs, no meats, butters, etc. And alot of the shelves looked all bare and picked over. Scary.

As for me, I really did have an interview today and I really did drive in the snow. But it was only going home. To make a boring story even less anticlimactic, it was just starting to mist a bit on the way in and it was lightly flaking when I left. However, as I got closer to home and side tracked towards my mom’s house in Beecher, which is more south than me, it really was coming down thick and wet and sticky. (I had also gotten another call from another place and I had to go fill out an app. Maybe two’s the charm?? We’ll see…) Then I decided to go see my mom. Cause I’m cool like that. And she did not disappoint.

I’m already feeling down in the dumps because of the weight issues, the job issues, the general lack of a life issues, and the fact that even though I think my interview went well, and I brought in all of the info that they asked for, and I got a mini tour of the place in addition to meeting HR and the managers, they still just thanked me for coming in and told me they would call or e-mail. I guess that’s how it goes, but I don’t know. I hate to jinx it by saying anything but I figure it’s after the fact so it probably doesn’t matter. And even though my mom knows all these things, because she read my last few posts, the first thing she said to me, the very first thing, and I am not exaggerating in any way, shape or form, when I walked into her house was, “Oh! You should have put your hair up instead of wearing it down like that. Oh it looks so messy! Pulled back would have been so much better!” And she made some hand gestures while pulling on her frosted scrags. Really mom?

Don’t worry, I said that right to her face. I even told her I was gonna write about our little visit. (Hi Mom! Hope that internet is back up and running so you can read this!) I even wrote down all the other gems she had to share with me because I didn’t want to deprive any of you, especially my sissy Amanda, of my mother’s supreme hilarity and lack of tact. I guess technically, her other comments were meant to be nice. But, well, I’ll let you guys judge that.

Let me just get my notes here. Ok. After she criticized my hair and made us coffee and put out some cookies, we tried to get her computer to work. No luck. As we sat down at the kitchen table, my mom picked up the cookies and said, “You probably don’t want these right? I’ll put them away to make it less tempting.” She had been reading my posts so she knew I probably wouldn’t want them but it was the only snack she had that goes with coffee. Then she said, kind of off-handed, “I expected you to be bigger.” I said, “What? What do you mean?”

“Oh well, the way you made it sound I expected you would come lumbering into my house looking like a big stuffed elephant like you put on your website. I was wondering, ‘how much weight did you gain in the last month?’ I mean, I just saw you.” While she’s telling me this she is also gesturing with her hands and kind of holding them out in front of her to indicate how “stuffed” she expected me to be. And she went on, “I would say you’re not like an elephant. More like a baby moose.”

Uh huh. I said, “Well geez mom, thanks. We were just at Cabela’s and the moose they had there was actually bigger than the elephant. So thanks a lot. I’m as big as a moose. That’s much better.”

Bring it home mom: “No, I said a baby moose.” Just holding her coffee cup, sitting across from me, drinking and comparing me to the wildlife. I stared at her for what seemed like a minute, and I really don’t remember if I was actually thinking anything. But for some reason when my mom says stuff like that it just makes me burst into laughter. I guess maybe because I never expect it. So I laughed and I said that I am writing all of this down so I don’t forget and I thanked her for giving me my next article here. Cause really, let’s face it now, some of these posts are turning into mini-novels already.

But back to Rita. She said, “See? What would you do if I didn’t give you something to write about?” Hmm. I just don’t know.

So that’s my mish mash story for today. Haven’t heard anything back from the interview. So I wait. I felt so bad I wasn’t even going to go exercise, which is exactly the time I should go. Thanks to a movie due back to the video store today, my unwillingness to drive on the unplowed streets where I live, and the fact that my daughter suggested it to begin with, we were able to sneak in almost an hour of walking, about 1.7 miles, in unshoveled snow. It’s like walking on sand, but in boots and jeans and coats and hats and gloves. It was actually quite fun and a pretty good work out. My legs were burning! And my calves are sore. But that makes FOUR days in a row. Now I need to go to bed because I am tired from the stress of worrying about everything and nothing.

I’ll throw in another animal shot to keep things even. I think they’re bucks, not moose, but you get the idea. And for those keeping count, my push up total still stands at about half of one. BUT, I was able to hover above the ground, in the down position for much longer than yesterday before my chubby gut hit the floor. Then I pushed myself back up and called it “one.” Have a good night.

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Ham String Curls!

January 11, 2012 at 12:52 pm (Body and Brains!, Day to Day, Exercise, Losing the Fat, Run. Walk. Weights.) (, , , , , , , , , , )

That headline is only going to be funny to one person, but I don’t care. I had a novel idea today to work out BEFORE I posted anything. The weather is supposed to be nice a again, and so far it is. Paul Konrad spoke of 50’s and warmer temps and clear skies. But it still feels cold to me. Plus I have a volleyball game to go to for Stevie. Second one. The first was Monday. It was very exciting and the matches were close, usually a point or two, but they ended up losing. I thought they did pretty good for only having 4 practices. And those were over Christmas Break. I’ll put pics up if the girl lets me. Anyway, I won’t have time later to work out and I don’t trust the weather to wait for a few more hours. Plus I wanted something fast and complete. So I went to my old standby: The Firm. 45 minutes of pure elevated heart rate and sweat. I don’t know if it was because I didn’t eat or because my heart hasn’t worked that hard trying to move me around in weeks, but I felt slightly sick in the middle and for a minute there, thought for sure I was going to throw up. My stomach flipped and all I could hear was my heart beating in my head but I just stood there lifting my stupid dumbbells until it passed. So you know this tape has got to be good right??

That picture above really has nothing to do with my workout besides the ham string curl, curled horns, thing. It’s a stretch I know. Anyway, I like doing the Firm workouts because they combine cardio and weights and they make me sweat because I am out of shape. Rebekah is the ring leader. She’s cute and so evil with her friendly, constant chatter about what we are about to do next. Ham String Curls is one of the things she says that gets into my nightmares while I sleep. She says it all sing-songy and I am lured into the abyss. You can see her devil eyes about halfway through the workout. She’s looking up at the camera and I feel her thoughts enter into my brain, “C’mon you fat ass, kick it higher, lift that heavier weight, burn burn burn!” I may just be hallucinating that last part though. I am working my way back into the P90X sets. I was doing them every day last year, but I totally fell off the wagon and rolled into the street, down a hill, across a stream and then down another hill until I landed in a giant hole of marshmallow middles, blubber butts and shame.

But I’m back. Three days in a row! It’s a new year record! It’s all part of the master plan: Run. Walk. Weights. And add some push ups. (The tape gives you some ab moves–not too crazy. You can always add more if you like) One of the new sites that I am following, linked over to the right there, or click on the name, called WhatUp Chickenbutt just did a post on girl vs. regular push-ups. She said skip the girl ones all together and go for the man ones. Do them every day and see what happens. Well I will tell you, I did lots of girl push ups when I started P90 because I could not do even ONE real pushup. By the time I quit the P90, I could 10 regular ones. Took about 40 days for me personally to get there. I tried one today….and I’d generously give myself about one HALF of a real push up. I went down. Skimmed the ground with my gut. Froze there shaking and tried to push myself back up. I would say I was on the ground longer than the up and down motion. Then I tried it again after my Firm workout and I’d say I improved to about a Three Quarter pushup. I felt more confident though! But I still couldn’t do one. It’s a good idea though and I like a challenge. Do what is right for you! It’s no fun to fail right out of the gate. Besides, the girl ones are not all bad because  they do allow you to build up some arm strength using half your weight until you can finally hoist your whole body up and down. So work up to whatever you can handle. Obviously I am one of those people that has to work out every day or I will not work out at all. One slip and I’m doomed to the couch. Anyhoo, the Firm is a good way to ease back into the hell of P90. The Firm box says you can see results in 10 workouts. I will let you know about that. It’s probably true. In fact I know it is because I used it last year too. It’s a nice break from the P90 intensity and it feels like you can dance. Rebekah does those old aerobic moves you used to see all the time. Things like plyo’s, switchups, wraps, it was all very confusing at first but I got it now. It makes me feel like I know what I’m doing and I enjoy seeing myself mirroring what the girls are doing on screen. I just can’t finish the whole thing yet. So close, but no cigar. I recommend this particular one because you get a good combo of cardio/weights that will make you sweat and feel good but won’t discourage you from trying it again if you can’t do everything all the way through. I put the pic below.

These pictures always turn out so gigantic. Well, I have lots more to write about, and I need to get some food. I’ve been good so far, keeping the cals at about 1500 to 2000. That seems like a lot but it’s not for me considering how much I was eating just a few days ago. And I’m trying to keep it as low-everything bad as possible, but this is the part that takes the most work. Jumping around like a wounded animal gasping and clawing the air for breath is easy. Shopping and cooking healthy for yourself and your family, under the whining protest that it’s “gonna be gross” and fighting against the constant, gnawing hunger for a few days (or weeks depending on how far gone you really are) is hard. Here’s to coffee and breath mints! My meal of choice for the newly turned fanatic. I’m just kidding. That’s my diet every day. Later.

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