just shy of pretty

New Year’s Eve

December 31, 2011 at 6:18 pm (Day to Day, Holiday, Thank You, Unemployed Posts) (Happy New Year, Ornament, Self Portrait, Thank You)

Well goodbye 2011. Hello 2012. Ugh. I have never been one of those people that really marks the passing of time. Or feels the heavy burden of it wearing away at my youth and counting down the ever decreasing time I have left on this Earth. But this year…a lot of good. Nothing too bad. Things that pretty much stayed the same. That’s what gets me thinking the most. The times when nothing happens. Just stillness. Stagnation. The word isn’t even nice sounding no matter where you put it in the sentence.

You’ll have to forgive me for this depressing post. I feel happy that I am pretty healthy (except for that acute case of FAT-itis I picked up over the last year, that my mother was kind enough to dx for me so that I can take the proper course of action—although that won’t be tonight–wink wink). And I did finally graduate and get that RN license. My life’s goal. However, I am currently 2 weeks to 4 months behind all my classmates on the job and experience getting. I totally and completely underestimated how much having a job and earning money and being a vital part of society has on my own personal self-esteem and general disposition as a woman in the world. Also it just sucks being broke. And as always, I am grateful and happy for my two gorgeous and hilarious children. My reason for living pretty much and never giving up. Except that neither one will be here to say goodbye to the old and welcome the new as both have abandoned me for better and more exciting evenings of fun and celebrations. Traitorous spawn of my loins! The boy will be off with his dad and uncles (who are the same age actually, but that’s another story, so we just call them cousins because it is easier) and he will be spending the night hanging out with other teenagers, playing xbox and acting like teenage boys do. Crazy on the Pepsi and snacks and late night shenanigans. The girl is with my sister and her children and friends. Actually, now that I think of it, is at this very moment, having a New Year’s Eve party at a place my sister found where they do a package thing for the younger crowd. Then they will go home and celebrate again by eating snacks and having “drinks” while watching TV and one of the shows that they have to ring in the new year. Hmm. It’s rather sad when your kids have more going on then you do. Oh well. Hopefully they will at least call me at midnight. Or send a text. Ooooh!! and Eewww!!…look at me turning into one of those old, sad, mom ladies, crying because their kids never call or come over! Yikes! I am definitely on the slippery slope to old age. Poopers!

I didn’t really have a plan so I guess it’s my own fault. One of these years we are leaving town and I’m spending New Year’s in Vegas. Or Hawaii. Yeah Hawaii sounds really good. Maybe the Caribbean. Someplace warm and beachy. I know I’ve said that before. Well, not this year. This year is just me and the BF. (Who I am also very grateful for and extremely lucky to have in my life. Thanks honey. Even at my lowest moments I can still say I have a boyfriend and that’s something. Love you.) He thinks I won’t be fun but he’s wrong. I’m just playing sad and despairing. Once I get some junk food and a drink in me the party will be rolling over here. For now though, we still have to go out and get some stuff for tomorrow. We are making appetizers for a family get-together for the New Year Day. It’s something fun and new we are trying to keep our extended family together and in each others lives. It’s so easy when you are little. Anyway, I hope it’s not too crazy out there. I hope the stores are still open. Then we can settle in and find something to do I am sure. My brother-in-law said this, about tonight, when I left my daughter there the other day, “If I can’t go out to the bar then I want to sit home and stuff my belly full of as much food as I can.” Wise words brother. And pretty much MY plan for the night too. So thanks for that! I’ll see you all tomorrow!

Despite the above paragraphs, life is pretty good. And I hope it’s good for you too. But if not, then I’m glad this year is over and we can start brand new in just a few hours! Even though some of these days can really break a soul, I truly believe that as long as you wait for just one more of those days, you always have another chance to do something different. Now who’s gonna argue with that?

Have a safe and Happy New Year! Don’t drink and drive please. That kind of chance is NEVER worth it. Wake up alive tomorrow so we can get this new year started! I have some goals and resolutions too I guess. The usual stuff, weight loss, job, school, etc…maybe I’ll post about it tomorrow or later on. But, as a treat to my loyal readers, and something I usually never do, I posted a snazzy self portrait of myself! Lucky! That’s me in the red ornament above taking a picture of myself. Looks just like me! Oh and I also used red to highlight the first sentences. Cheers!