One winter snow storm, after weeks of unseasonably and globally warming temperatures, delivered as predicted!
No snow pictures yet. Maybe tomorrow. Please enjoy this decoration from the kids winter band program.
As for that snow prediction, you can thank me. Or blame me. Or call me a witch. I predicted this days and days ago. I told everyone who would listen that there will not be any snowfall, no matter what the news says, until the day I get called for an interview. I haven’t had one really important place to travel to for months. No place to go that would really matter if I couldn’t make it for any reason. I said the day that I have to go on my first job interview will be the day the snow comes to call on our humble community. Welp…they called me last Thursday to set me up for today at 9am and the weather men started predicting, “Snow Watch! Doom! 2012!” on Monday. It never fails. Monday Tuesday Wednesday, 50, balmy, sunny…Thursday: RAIN! SLEET! ICE! SNOW!! Turn off the lights. Lock your doors. Leave town. Buy all the supplies at the CVS. You can NOT escape SNOW in the Midwest in the WINTER! Seriously. I had to go to the CVS to get toilet paper and I kid you not, the cold case was completely empty. No milk, no eggs, no meats, butters, etc. And alot of the shelves looked all bare and picked over. Scary.
As for me, I really did have an interview today and I really did drive in the snow. But it was only going home. To make a boring story even less anticlimactic, it was just starting to mist a bit on the way in and it was lightly flaking when I left. However, as I got closer to home and side tracked towards my mom’s house in Beecher, which is more south than me, it really was coming down thick and wet and sticky. (I had also gotten another call from another place and I had to go fill out an app. Maybe two’s the charm?? We’ll see…) Then I decided to go see my mom. Cause I’m cool like that. And she did not disappoint.
I’m already feeling down in the dumps because of the weight issues, the job issues, the general lack of a life issues, and the fact that even though I think my interview went well, and I brought in all of the info that they asked for, and I got a mini tour of the place in addition to meeting HR and the managers, they still just thanked me for coming in and told me they would call or e-mail. I guess that’s how it goes, but I don’t know. I hate to jinx it by saying anything but I figure it’s after the fact so it probably doesn’t matter. And even though my mom knows all these things, because she read my last few posts, the first thing she said to me, the very first thing, and I am not exaggerating in any way, shape or form, when I walked into her house was, “Oh! You should have put your hair up instead of wearing it down like that. Oh it looks so messy! Pulled back would have been so much better!” And she made some hand gestures while pulling on her frosted scrags. Really mom?
Don’t worry, I said that right to her face. I even told her I was gonna write about our little visit. (Hi Mom! Hope that internet is back up and running so you can read this!) I even wrote down all the other gems she had to share with me because I didn’t want to deprive any of you, especially my sissy Amanda, of my mother’s supreme hilarity and lack of tact. I guess technically, her other comments were meant to be nice. But, well, I’ll let you guys judge that.
Let me just get my notes here. Ok. After she criticized my hair and made us coffee and put out some cookies, we tried to get her computer to work. No luck. As we sat down at the kitchen table, my mom picked up the cookies and said, “You probably don’t want these right? I’ll put them away to make it less tempting.” She had been reading my posts so she knew I probably wouldn’t want them but it was the only snack she had that goes with coffee. Then she said, kind of off-handed, “I expected you to be bigger.” I said, “What? What do you mean?”
“Oh well, the way you made it sound I expected you would come lumbering into my house looking like a big stuffed elephant like you put on your website. I was wondering, ‘how much weight did you gain in the last month?’ I mean, I just saw you.” While she’s telling me this she is also gesturing with her hands and kind of holding them out in front of her to indicate how “stuffed” she expected me to be. And she went on, “I would say you’re not like an elephant. More like a baby moose.”
Uh huh. I said, “Well geez mom, thanks. We were just at Cabela’s and the moose they had there was actually bigger than the elephant. So thanks a lot. I’m as big as a moose. That’s much better.”
Bring it home mom: “No, I said a baby moose.” Just holding her coffee cup, sitting across from me, drinking and comparing me to the wildlife. I stared at her for what seemed like a minute, and I really don’t remember if I was actually thinking anything. But for some reason when my mom says stuff like that it just makes me burst into laughter. I guess maybe because I never expect it. So I laughed and I said that I am writing all of this down so I don’t forget and I thanked her for giving me my next article here. Cause really, let’s face it now, some of these posts are turning into mini-novels already.
But back to Rita. She said, “See? What would you do if I didn’t give you something to write about?” Hmm. I just don’t know.
So that’s my mish mash story for today. Haven’t heard anything back from the interview. So I wait. I felt so bad I wasn’t even going to go exercise, which is exactly the time I should go. Thanks to a movie due back to the video store today, my unwillingness to drive on the unplowed streets where I live, and the fact that my daughter suggested it to begin with, we were able to sneak in almost an hour of walking, about 1.7 miles, in unshoveled snow. It’s like walking on sand, but in boots and jeans and coats and hats and gloves. It was actually quite fun and a pretty good work out. My legs were burning! And my calves are sore. But that makes FOUR days in a row. Now I need to go to bed because I am tired from the stress of worrying about everything and nothing.
I’ll throw in another animal shot to keep things even. I think they’re bucks, not moose, but you get the idea. And for those keeping count, my push up total still stands at about half of one. BUT, I was able to hover above the ground, in the down position for much longer than yesterday before my chubby gut hit the floor. Then I pushed myself back up and called it “one.” Have a good night.
View From the Sidewalk
Well I did it. I managed to get my butt up and out of the house two days in a row. Yesterday was the trail, I can post those next, but today was walking to the library and back. Three and a half miles. Walking briskly. In jeans and my winter coat. Took about an hour or so with library time. This is looking over the high school to the North. Clear blue nothing. My legs felt tight but I could have run if I wanted to. This day was a bit misleading. It looked nice. The temp said it was 50 degrees, but it felt cold and damp. And there was some small wind activity in certain directions that made it feel extra chill. And that sun was so bright I felt like I was dizzy. It’s just setting now but I swear it’s trying to go down as brilliantly as it possibly can. I just went to look at it in case I need to take a picture of another magnificent sunset and all I can see are black spots in my eyes. It’s too bright to even try to look at. My smart phone says “Sunny” and “48”. But it should really say “Extra Blindingly Photo Flash Sunny” and “Damp And Clammy 48”. But that’s probably too much information and could get confusing. As for the walking part, I was a sweaty mess when I got back home. My shirt was grossly soaked through. You could see the outline of my bra in the back. That’s another reason why I wear mostly black. Sweat doesn’t show. I am attributing my recent penchant for extra sweatiness (the last year or so) to the extra weightiness I have picked up in that same last year or so. I used to be a cool cucumber. Not anymore. I am a soggy pickle. There’s probably not more I can add after that so I’m going to end this right here. Later.
Denial Ain’t Just a River in Egypt
I will let you decide which noble and majestic, wild beast I will be currently comparing myself to. I’ll give you a hint: It’s not Marty. (That was a layered hint. See, you have to know first of all, that that is a pic of an elephant and a zebra. Then you need to know about the very funny, but child-oriented, movie called Madagascar–the first one–which means you either: have to have kids, have no kids but love cartoon movies, or either have kids or not have kids but LOVE Chris Rock. “Oh I could hang here. I could hang here!” That’s my favorite quote and I have been perfecting my perfect Chris Rock impersonation. It is magnificent!) Much like that elephant above.
I do have a fantastic memory. And I am strong and powerful. And coincidentally, I kind of have a big nose. Luckily, my teeth are good and no tusks are growing out of my head just yet. Unfortunately…I am in current possession of a larger-than-life body to lumber around in. I can deny it no more.
The catalyst for this sudden realization, was clothes shopping at the mall over the weekend, as it most always usually is. It was not, as previously reported here, my mother’s gentle and loving, reality wake-up call, that she gave me a few weeks ago. You can read the whole post here if you want, but if you don’t like to jump around, I can sum it up by telling you she pretty much told me I was a big fat, fatty-bo-batty, in plain, clear English and said I should do something about that. Even though that doesn’t sound funny, it was actually VERY funny. In fact, it still is pretty funny. It makes me laugh just typing it. Only a mom can tell you that you are a cow and it only stings for a second, then it turns into hilarious laughter and a trip to the Starbuck’s to add another winter layer to the protective hide. But back to the mall.
A while back I went to buy some “interview” clothes. And I had the chance to wear them to a job fair and to Thanksgiving dinner. Then my daughter helped me wash the clothes and shrunk my perfectly fitted blouse into a shirt that I could barely get over my arms and shoulders, much less button again. When I say, perfectly fitted, I mean that it was already snug. EXCUSE ALERT!! I have very broad shoulders and a large ribcage with extra boobage, that none of my sisters or mom have. So that’s what I tell myself when I can’t find a nice button up blouse to fit me properly. No matter, that when I look at past pictures, I don’t seem extra large (in women’s clothes–yes, shameful secret, I have to shop in the misses or the women’s section. The juniors are mostly beyond my range and style threshold now. Also, I like my pants unripped and not looking like they got dragged through a dirt pile before I wear them.) Anyway, the point here, is that I was looking for something to wear in case I need to go on an interview. I kind of decided to look on a whim. We were there because my son wanted a suit coat and shirt and tie to wear for his 8th grade graduation pictures this week. (Yay!! Almost there!! He found everything he wanted in 15 minutes. Fits perfectly. Looks sharp. Not so for his mom. Sad face.) I know I know. Just get to the point.
As I was wandering around from store to store, department to department, trying to find a basic blouse to go with plain black dress slacks, I realized that:
1. I felt like a giant dumptruck. I was grossly dressed in ill-fitting jeans screaming for mercy, ripped up shoes and a hoodie, with frizzy hair (sorry A, I know that hurts, it will get better), little make-up and a bad attitude. My own fault. Plus that dread cycle coming up has put me in pity mode for a few days. I hate it, but at least realizing it helps make it go away for me.
2. Patterns are the staple in women’s clothing and they can not only be ugly as hell, but they have the ability to make you instantly feel like an old lady with one bad color scheme.
3. My son and BF are hilarious. They meant to be funny with their comments about the clothes and my size issue. I was gently told I should consider something “not so fitted” especially if the buttons will be straining to stay buttoned. Even when I am standing. OUCH. What??? I have not been totally in the dark about this, but you know, bloating and not drinking enough water, and blah blah blah. My daughter’s new favorite phrase is, “You just got hit by a reality truck!” Well, I got hit by the truck, run over, and then it backed up and ran over me again. It was really the, “Are we going to have to go to Lane Bryant?” comment that pushed me out into traffic. It was said in a totally joking manner with no sarcasm or malevolence at all. But that one stung. Like, I almost cried, stung. And I have a pretty thick skin, like an elephant, metaphorically speaking. Sometimes it completely sucks to be female. For the record, I do still fit in the regular store sizes, I even have a two to three size leeway before I have to give up the general department store or move to the Plus size section. I tried the clothes on, so I know. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with Lane Bryant stores or clothing. It’s just the next level of dressing nice for the bigger girl and NOT resorting to stretchy pants and sweatshirts. Which IS terrible. But that’s not going to happen.
4. My daughter is hilarious and dashed around the clothing racks looking for the perfect blouse because, “It’s not a big deal mom, just start exercising and eating better and it will be fine. You know you can do that.” and just like that, on and on, while she picked stuff out, matched things up and made me try them on while she determined which is the best. All while trying to cheer me up and soothe my hurt feelings with humor and the promise that after we shop we can go eat our last meal of fried greasy food because fried food always makes you feel better. My little Buddha.
I will say, for myself, personally, or for anyone who has the variety pack of kids, and this is most definitely a MUSH ALERT (skip it if you must): I feel extremely lucky to have a boy and a girl to raise and be raised by. They each bring their own unique personalities, and, still being formed, world views to the table along with some staggeringly stereotypical behaviors and ideas, that I can only attribute to their basic gender and gene pool that combine to make them the perfect balance between never wanting them to grow up and leave my sight and life or sending them packing to their dad’s for a long vacation. The definitely keep you grounded and aware of the world even when you don’t want to be. And most of the time they don’t even know they are doing it to you. Yes, I would like to order two of the offspring reality trucks to be delivered to the mall on Sunday. Schedule a drive-by and then a basic run-and-back-over, for about 2 pm. I’ll also take a Diet Coke while I wait. Thank you!
In the end, I bought a few different blouses. I need to dress better anyway. I look like a…well, I don’t know what I look like. I have no style whatsoever. I have been counting on the fact that the whole rest of my life will be in a scrub uniform so who cares. My daughter says I am just a real basic mom. I stay the same. “You’re just the standard jeans and black t-shirt mom. The simple mom. With the same clothes every day and the black shoes.” She struggles with the words but she means it in the most positive way. And since I’m so evenly proportioned, body wise, symmetrical, is what she means. I don’t really get fat in any one area, I just kind of “puff up”.
Now, tell me, who would NOT like to be described as “puffed up”? To make a long story, even longer, I faced my fear. Woke up yesterday, sent the kids to school, did my usual coffee/Words/computer/job search/money search/throw in a load of laundry morning and then suited up to hit the trail for a brisk four mile walk/run. Break the barrier. Start the exercise process again. Ease back into good health and healthy eating. Again. But, before I left the house, I took pictures. Horrible, shameful, lumpy pictures. So bad, I already warned my children to stay off my phone and not to be looking at all my pictures lest they be scarred for life. Nothing naked. It’s clear enough, without the nudity, that I need help. I mean, if we are facing our fears the proper body image is necessary. I have a distorted view of myself as my BF will gladly tell you is true. It’s not what you are thinking though. I see myself as far BETTER looking and THINNER than I actually am. Weird right? I always think I am smaller and weigh less than I actually do. AND, I am always very surprised when I see myself in a picture or in a mirror because that is not how I view myself in my own head. I don’t think I look like a model or anything. I know I don’t. I just over estimate my looks and body size. Probably my sense of humor and skill at writing too, but that never stops me from typing word after endless word. Let me just pause here, to say thank you, if you are still reading this, because with my attention span, I am not so sure I would still be reading me. And also, I hope there are not too many errors, because I really doubt I will go back and check it. Also, I am getting nervous this is taking so long because I have to walk to the library today as my exercise. Briskly, walk to the library. Change it up. Stay fresh. So I don’t quit on the second day.
Back to the post: I did good yesterday. One hour for four miles. Not groundbreaking. Not record setting. But it was outside (45 degrees—50-55 today! Unbelievable) and I did sweat. Then I came home and did something even crazier. Even more dangerous and fear inducing. I weighed myself. On a scale. An actual scale, with numbers, that tell your weight in pounds. I usually judge my weight by the jeans I can fit into. I have the 8-10-11 multi-pack of jean sizes. Different company’s but surprisingly accurate in helping me gauge my weight to within a few pounds. The only problem with my system is that I only have 5 pairs of jeans total to wear and weigh by. Four now. I lost the 10’s in the thigh rub incident of a few days ago (a tragedy I transcribed here some days ago, in far more words than necessary, as is my custom). It’s really a complicated system and sounds kind of confusing when you say it out loud, but the 10’s were the fat jeans. Pushing the highest weight I could go basically while staying UNDER 200 pounds. That is very important as that is the magic number for me. I have never, and will never (hopefully) see that number on a scale. Even pregnant I never hit it. And I tried. Long story…my boy decided to come three weeks early and spoiled my gain plan. Anyway, the 11’s are stretchy. Spandex is a wonder material. So even though the size is technically larger, my butt needs to be smaller to fit in them. But one of the 11’s is stretchier than the other. So it’s a matter of how stretchy do I want them and how comfortable will they be for the whole day? That’s the middle weight. The 8’s are the smallest. Again supposedly with Spandex, but one pair is decidedly stretchier than the other, by far. One pair I feel perfect in.
The other pair though, gives me, what I like to call: The JMT’s. That would stand for Jumbo Muffin Tops. Or “Juffins” as me and Stevie like to cackle about. One day, recently, the muffin tops were really spilling over and we were laughing about how they jiggle when I laugh and get worse when I sit and how I need a tighter buffer shirt to wear under my real shirt to try and skim them over, like frosting on a messed up, cracked and crumbly lumpy cake. I said, ” I don’t just have muffin tops, I have jumbo muffin tops. I have Juffins!” and we laughed hysterically. I am sure I am not the first or only person to have come up with that, but I’m taking credit in my world because I never heard it before and I said it and my daughter and son were there when I did. So that makes it official!
Got all that? Here’s the key to the whole thing. The weight was not as bad as I thought. And even if it was, who cares. I was ready to cry and curse all the delicious food in the world and my lack of willpower and laziness anyway. I still will. Probably forever. Nobody can be good ALL the time. Nobody. The point is I am aware. It is reality. It is not nice or pleasant but it’s OK. I will not reveal the number. It’s too much. But I will say that it is less than my top preggy weight and that is a miracle in itself I will not take for granted. And in the spirit of almost-full discretion, I weighed after the exercise and butt ass naked. Not pretty but I needed any help I could get for this. On the other hand, I am pre-menstrual though and I am a gainer beforehand. I have gone as high as five or six extra pounds. Which I always thought was such a croc and makes no difference, but when you are only 5 foot 5 on a good day, standing rimrod straight and you are over 40, it makes a whole hell of a lot of difference. Obviously I have enough sense of self to not let things go crazy crazy and it also means my jean theory works pretty good. But I need to go buy smaller jeans if I want to keep this up. I read in a magazine that the French ladies tie a ribbon around their waist before they eat and when it gets tighter they stop. Same concept with my jean system. That waist band can only dig into your belly flab for so long and for only so far before it becomes painful and medically dangerous and you must stop. I could bust a spleen sometimes, I wear them so tight.
Alright. For real now. I have to end this. I have stuff to do and miles to walk. My legs is sore! And the temp is up to almost 50 degrees! And it’s sunny! I must go outside! I must stop using so many exclamation points! Thanks for making it all the way to the end! You all get 100 bonus calories to use as you please! Have a great afternoon and I’ll chat back here later with the rest of the stuff I had planned. See you on the sidewalk.
Just because this starts a whole new year. One week late.
And because I get to combine all my favorite things. A chunk update. Another weather update. And pictures from my phone. Of the sky. At sunset. With a lot of skeleton trees. This is what 55 degrees in January at dusk looks like this year. It was warm today too. I don’t generally go for the no jacket thing just because it’s hotter than usual. I’m the first one to yell pneumonia. And we’re all being lured into poor health by good weather. But I’ll admit I was only wearing a zip-up hoodie and I was getting kind of hot outside. The sun was shining down so bright that I was getting crabby and drowsy. The warm sun just makes me want to lay down in it and take a nap. Like a snake I guess. Or a fat middle aged non exercising chunk of fun. Here comes the chunk part! It’s a tough week. I’m more tired than usual. Kind of achy and greasy. And I was particularly sick of feeling sad and depressed. So I spruced up this old carcass a bit with some new hair color (sorry Amanda…I know you are the only one who should be allowed to fix my hair but I swear I cannot drive for two hours, pay for gas and tolls and feel good about myself until I get a job…the box has to be the cure for now…it looks good by the way. The kids didn’t even notice. They thought something was different but couldn’t put their fingers on it until after I told them. My theory on home hair coloring, or anything really that you try to do yourself, is that if no one notices anything different it’s a good job. Only the glaring mistakes or radical change gets any attention) and some good hygiene and hair removal. However I also ate a bunch of crap that I shouldn’t because it was here and I had to get rid of it by next week when the real work on chipping away the fat cells begins. You will all be happy to know that I managed to eat, er, get rid of, all the chips and dip and most of the cheese/sausage/cracker stores. I also disposed of an entire box of Whitman’s Dark Chocolates, with my daughters help, who interestingly enough HATES dark chocolate but was able to power through and help me save our household for the greater good. I also drank the rest of the wine from the other night and am currently working on the final two bags of Ghirardelli chocolates while washing them down with Jack Daniels. I haven’t cooked in a week or worked out. In fact we have been staying up way too late watching the bad movies we love so much. The kids have to go back to school Monday and I should be working by the next week. (That’s very wishful thinking as I am making it my sole purpose in life–well besides eating all the food in the house—to have a job in another week or two.) I will have a full report on the snacks because I took pics of them. Really. For instance, I found this GIANT potato chip in the bag. I mean it was really big. I don’t think I have ever seen one this big. So of course I took it’s picture. With the dip container and the TV remote for scale. I also took pics of the sky and some more trees, big surprise. And I have a movie list if you’re interested! We watch BAD movies. Like B movie bad. With old stars like Debbie Gibson and Tiffany in them. Or Lorenzo Lamas. Remember him? And they usually are battling a giant crocodile or a sharktopus, you know a shark-octopus hybrid, or a giant squid against a giant snake. Some are better than others and some are just terrible. This is how we spend family time. As for tonight, I have to try and hurry this along, because the BF is on his way with another sack full of fast food from the local greasy spoon and we have a special night of, All New Releases!, to watch. They have to be back tomorrow so we have to plan our time carefully. I actually feel a little sick right now from the food I ate today. I know this is not something I should even say out loud, but I cannot wait until I get my dang period! (pardon my french). My appetite will disappear, I can get some energy back and hit the gym instead of the Dunkin Donuts, and burn off the winter weight. From about 10 winters but who’s really counting anymore. I only have about 10 pounds to lose (for each winter) so it’s pretty do-able! I’m excited. Oh! I almost forgot! I finished a book! A reading book. Not a school book. It was the Denis Leary one. You might have read about it here two years ago or so. Sadly, that’s how long it has taken me. I finished it last year. Made it just under the mark too. Like December 29th or something. I still recommend it for anyone who likes Denis Leary. It is funny and easy to read. Even my mom’s brain surgeon said, “that guy is something else…” and he chuckled. So there you have it, a brain surgeon endorsement! I’m just not good with the whole concentration thing in sentence and paragraph form without a lot of pictures to break up the words. Except for when I type. I can really string some letters together huh? I put a picture of the book below so I wouldn’t ruin my sunset shot. Oh! And I also found my first street money of the year. One penny and one dime. I will try and keep that up to date now. Just as soon as I tally up last year and post it under its proper heading. There’s just no excuses for letting all you loyal readers down. You want to know these silly mundane things that have no benefit to anyone. And I cant even keep up. And truthfully I am not doing much else besides sitting around and thinking about doing stuff. I’m lucky we have laundry. Alright, seriously, let me wrap this up. I know the BF will be here any minute and I want to catch up on my Words With Friends (evil evil evil—addiction in smart phone form) and BeJeweled (the other evil in the world of computers and high tech gaming–that was meant to be funny. BeJeweled is hardly high tech. It’s really no-tech. It’s pretty though. Match the gems for one minute. Try to score as many points as possible. Why, oh why, would that ever be addicting??) Ok, I think I hear a car in the driveway and my liquor glass is empty. Using the words from my son’s first book that he really liked…breathe and think…relax and run…om shanti shanti…Until later…
Weather Update!
Going with a blue theme. And continuing with the “people reflected in ornaments/windows/etc..” theme. That’s Stevie. I am still trying to take down the decorations, so I have to use up the rest of these holiday themed pictures. I figure I can push it another week and that’s really it. Also, I meant to update the weather yesterday because I know my cousins depend on me to fill this internet space, and their valuable time, with information they can easily get by walking outside. Plus it’s been real nice. Like unseasonably nice. So nice that there is talk now of: “THE HORRIBLE WEATHER TO COME!!” Dun dun dun. We love predicting blizzards and snowfall that will be higher than our houses. Eh. I say it’s fine. It’s not really a matter of, one month of nice equals 3 months of crappy. It all depends on the winds and the atmosphere and the isotopes and all that meteorological stuff. If the world wants to warm up and top off right about here, I’m good with it. I’ll take rain and wind over white-outs and sleet any day. Anyway, it was a balmy 45 in the daytime yesterday and dropped to about 33 or so by night. It was very windy but I thought it felt kind of good. So imagine my surprise this morning when it was snowing! And some even stuck to the grass! Right now, at 5 pm, Monday, it’s cold. Not ridiculous cold, 23 degrees, (which I guess is pretty cold actually), but it’s not snowing. And it’s not too windy so it feels ok. Besides, I hear 50 degrees is on the way again by the end of the week. Yay! Global warming!
So that’s my update for now. No phone calls for any jobs today but I’m sure they will tomorrow. This is the year of positive thinking, all day, every day. I’m also going to go to the store and buy myself another interview blouse. I love Stevie doing the laundry for me, but she washed and dried my already snug blouse, and now it’s a little too small for me to stuff my upper body into. You know that scene in Tommy Boy? Fat guy in a little coat? Picture sausage arms in a black fitted blouse. Three quarter sleeves are not sexy when they are so tight your forearms have fat rolls. And speaking of rolls…I also need to purchase a pair of jeans (or two). I’ve lost another pair of jeans to the “thigh rub hole”. That’s where your jeans wear and tear at the place where your legs touch at the upper thigh area. Not everyone has this problem. Some people actually have a space between their legs and the material never touches. I say good for them. I am jealous, but can’t seem to ever exercise enough to open that gap. I guess it’s a lipo thing. But back to me. I am not now, nor have I ever been, one of those people. I am a thigh toucher. A corduroy avoider. I cannot be making noises while wearing my clothes (swish swish swish) c’mon, some of you know what I’m talking about. Besides that, I have other stuff that needs to be done on the big transformative 2012. Like get skinny. Well, not skinny. I am aiming for pre-child weight. I’d say baby weight but it’s been 14 years so that’s kind of pushing it. It’s probably attainable as long as I stop welcoming the day with Krispy Kreme doughnuts. (So tasty though, and if you microwave them to just the right temp you can literally smoosh them into a small enough lump that can fit into your mouth whole! That seems healthy!)
OK this wasn’t supposed to be this long. This is my third paragraph of winding this up. My kids have left again to go have dinner with their dad, and the BF is on the way with Chinese food. We were supposed to go to the gym as part of the new year, new you, but since they left unexpectedly and it’s really still kind of sort of a holiday technically legally recognized based on the fact that all of the banks and libraries are closed and there was no mail as an excuse to continue the bad habits until tomorrow when the year officially begins, this is what I am doing for just one more day. Posting. Eating. And half-ass laundrying and undecorating. I did manage to throw alot of junk food away today and will send the rest packing with the BF to his office tomorrow. One thing done. I even cleaned out the garage a little bit and have much garbage prepared for the morning. Two things! And now I will really end this post so I can clear a space on our table so we can settle in and let the food shoveling begin.
PS. For Amanda: Guess what the BF was getting me today at work? Are you ready for a really really really really long winter of annoying posts?? Are you? P. 90. X. 2. Yep. TWO. T-W-O. The second version. Doesn’t matter if I can’t even finish the first set. I shall attempt 90 days of one and then 90 days of two. I will fail I am sure. BUT. I can annoy you with it for 6 months!!! Happy New Year my darling sister!!! XO XO XO, or should I put, P90 X-O (hee hee hee) Forevah!
Clear Blue Sunny 33 Degrees at 10 AM
I had a dream last night that it snowed. I got up and the streets and driveways and lawns were covered with half a foot of snow. In my dream I was cursing because it just figured that it would snow on the day that we actually have to drive an hour north. But thankfully, it was only a dream. I could pretty much go the whole winter without snow if this region would be so accommodating. I doubt we will get that lucky but it’s something to wish for. And because I know how much my cousins love my weather updates, I thought I would put up a pic of our sky, with a skeleton tree that I can’t stop taking pictures of. This is today. Like 10 minutes ago. I just ran outside to get the best picture I could for this site. I will go that extra mile to keep things fresh and current. My BF just asked me, “What the hell are you doing??” I said, “Just goofing around.” But we both know…Only the best for my friends and family. Enjoy your day and Merry Post-Christmas!
This is Christmas Day!
The sky is mostly blue with white and gray clouds that look like snow. But it’s windy and warm. Warm for winter where we live anyway. 45 to 50 degrees depending on where you are. And it feels warmer in the sun. A sun that has been shining all day. It is beautiful. And no snow. I could get used to this. Hope your day is just as great!
Because Christmas will be starting promptly at…..NOW!
NEVER underestimate the power of the TOY catalog for Christmas! Even if your kids are teenagers now. Even if they are 6 feet tall. Even if they begrudgingly dress up for Halloween and complain that trick-or-treating is lame, but still go out there and then eat so much candy that they are sick the next morning. Even if they barely let you take a picture of them in said costumes. These children are powerless against the allure of the magical and colorful, red-ringed, fake wreath of holiday, dunt, dunt, dunnnn, TOYS!! No child can resist. Mine could care less about anything other than video or audio products, but they still like to look. They get all excited and starry-eyed. It’s sick. And truthfully, I think parents like to look too. What else would you have to talk about with the other desperate parents just before you shoot yourself in the head after the second hour of potentially paralyzing, soul killing fun at the Monkey Joe’s or Extreme Trampoline?? Yeah yeah….I signed the waiver…it’s my own damn fault.
The only negative comment I have on the greed of Christmas commerce being shoved down our throats two months early, and the fake anxious panic Target is trying to instill in parents everywhere by deadlining all these “great deals” by November 23, (not even Thanksgiving yet!), when they damn well know everybody who missed these first great deals will be flocking to their stores the Friday after for even better deals, is that their catalog is UGLY!! U-G-L-Y! You make your momma cry! You’re ugly!! Seriously. My picture is pretty true to life. And I tried to get it against a nice, dark background to make it look better. It’s not even a true white cover to give the red something to really “pop” against. It’s this sick, creamy, off-white, dingy pearl color. And speaking of the red, it’s too red. Like, dark red. It makes the green look like lime and not Christmas tree. I am NOT a fan of red and green together. Especially Christmas red and green. But if you’re going to print and mail the first toy catalog of the season you should make the cover bright and cheerful, and not some half assed attempt that looks like it got thrown together on somebody’s lunch break the day before Halloween. Not to mention the failure to use toys from this year. Buzz, Lightning McQueen, Elmo, Barbie, Rubik’s Cube, Etch-a-Sketch, Yahtzee?!?–thank goodness Hollywood cooperates every year with Christmas sales and releases another installment of the same movie so companies can use the same toys with new packaging.
That seemed kind of rough and harsh. I like Christmas actually. It always feel like something good is about to happen. But I kind of like my Christmas to wait until after Thanksgiving before it shows up and carol’s me to death. It doesn’t feel very special when it’s been going on for weeks and weeks and weeks. I also like Target. They do have good deals and they have had much better catalogs. It’s all about eye appeal. Luckily kids don’t care. The clever market research team probably told them not to bother with a fancy look because this is the catalog the kids are just going to flip and tear. Mine did.
All this rainy day, gloomy evening, dark-at-4:30 ranting post (Weather update! That’s for my newest official reader/cousin Linda. Shout out!) has made me thirsty! And since it is dark now, it must be nighttime, and that earlier talk of lime reminded me that I have Corona in the fridge. (That is some “chain of reference” for my other cuz Lorraine. Holler!) And just for the hell of it…Go Sox! (For my sissy, not forgotten, you were the first after all, and next year of course, ’cause baseball season is over. Woop! woop!) Later.
Quick extra note, without comment: The front cover does not say “Christmas” or reference “Santa” specifically. It does on the inside though. Holiday is all you get for now.
November 3. Or as I will be calling it: Leftover Halloween!
I still have lots of pictures and relevant things to say about the last three days. It can’t be over already! Look at that very cool picture! I took that with my CAMERA phone. Sometimes I still cannot get over how good technology has become. Wait until you see this picture of a snake we found. The pictures are so clear, it’s like you can see into his soul!
But this is a good picture for today. This is pretty much what it looks like outside right now. I guess we are lucky no more. Autumn seems to have arrived, all damp and bone chilling. I will not complain though, because the last few days have been beautiful and it is supposed to stay in the 50’s for the next week or two. That means I do not have to turn the furnace on yet! I try every year to see how long I can wait. It’s usually until the kids complain they are freezing, and actually cry tears. It sounds worse than it is. Usually the temp in the house is about 58 or 56. That’s not really even all that cold considering the air temps. It just seems cold when it’s in a house. There is a debate on what the record is. I think it may be Nov. 4 or Nov. 20th or so, around my daughter’s birthday. The BF thinks we might have made it all the way into December. I don’t know about that. It gets cold very fast around here, so that seems unlikely. But for the new record this year, we are easily at November 3. Go nature!
Just one more before I go
It’s really perfect outside right now. 5 pm. October 12. The sun is still up there but the clouds are moving in. It is supposed to rain tonight and lower our temperatures to somewhere back down in the normal autumnal degree range. That was a fine, complicated sentence wasn’t it? Did you just read it again? Anyway, the air temperature feels like skin temperature. It feels so close to body temp it’s like not being outside at all. And the sun is throwing off that color I like to refer to as “movie lighting”. The source is from one very specific direction and illuminates everything before it in a brilliant and bright, almost fake looking light. We are a media world. We all live in the movies. If you are anywhere near the Chicago area, take a few moments and go outside if you can. Just breathe in the air and appreciate the fantastic luck of being alive and able to view that sky. I have to go move through it now. By the time I get back out later, it will be dark and cool, and hopefully I will ride home under that last bit of the big Hunter Moon of the year and wait for the rain to wash all this summer away for good.
just shy of pretty 