Jump in the line!
Rock your body in time!
Oh no! I believe it!
Jump right in…start the body line… shake, shake, shake, Senora! Work it all the time!
I’m kind of making up words and moving them around. I am home from the first official day of school. Short and sweet. Serve it up and push me out the door. This. This. This. Test Monday. Skills Tuesday. See you tomorrow. Don’t be late. Two hours in, and the hand holding portion of the program is over.
I am exaggerating for dramatic and humorous effect. The teachers are all quite friendly and helpful, actually, but, they are not slowly walking us along the education path. They warned us of the fast pace, rapid start, rapid finish; fall behind and you might not be able to catch up. There just isn’t time. Time is fluid. Sometimes we forget when it thickens up. It’s really more like water, and it flows the same whether you are standing in it, sitting in it, swimming in it, being dragged along unmercifully by it, or drowning in it. Unless you cry for help, no one is going to hear you. And even if they do, no guarantee they can always save you. They might be able to get you out of it, but you won’t really be o.k.
But that is a little too much for the first day. I’ll save that little rumination for about, October, when I am failing the math test! Just kidding. Positive thoughts. (Not going where you think) I’m only taking it one week, one day, one class, one hour, at a time. Small doses. Even using a teaspoon eventually fills up the bowl. And my bowl is empty!!
So why the heck am I typing on this time wasting website?? Because I like it. And I need it. I need to put all the crazy thoughts somewhere so I can make room for the technical stuff I need to do a job and do it well. I don’t think this writing thing is going to pan out in the way that I had hoped and I only won $3 bucks on the Mega Millions and $2 on a scratch off, and that’s the most we have won on lottery in like, two years.
So this is my future. I will be busy with school, in 16 week chunks, for the next two years. But I’ll still try to post to keep updated and sane. (You should subscribe to me! Top right column…and you won’t miss any of the fun. And you can comment and give me encouragement and make me feel warm and fuzzy!)
In about 20 minutes, when my daughter gets home, we will be going to the store to get me a detailed schedule planner, for the minute day-to-day things I need to do (tests/skills/exercise–yes, I still do it, just don’t talk about it as much—next race is Labor Day!) anyhoo…we need groceries and breakfast food and cash for my son’s gym uniform and sports physical….it seems kind of scattery right? (Run on sentence anyone???) But I have already done laundry and cleaned the house and did the dishes, prepped for dinner and bedtime…I am never more productive than when I have less time for the tasks planned.
Here is a picture of a nurse coffee mug I was given 2 years ago when I started this mess. (Thank you Nancy!!) I tentatively bring it out now in anticipation of success. I am normally superstitious about cart-before-the-horse and all that, but what the hell. I have to pass. Failure is not an option for me.
I also threw in the picture with all the books I was told I would need for the first semester. Semester. 16 weeks. Hey! You keep them, FOREVER! And if you are like me, you’d want to know this too:
Height of books: 17 inches
Weight of books: 42.4 lbs.
You never have to bring them all anywhere, (so they say) but I still think it’s interesting to know the stats.
You can't see it exactly, but it's about 16" tall. AND I forgot a book! I took its picture all by itself. So that brings the total to 17".
The missing book from the pile. I included it in the weight though. I should have taken a picture of the scale! I'm not going to now because I don't feel like moving all those books again. Too heavy. Too many.
Cruise Night Random Shot
Mostly because I liked the color of the car. It’s cool, but it’s not a Dodge (or a Chevy) More later!
Crazy Electric Blue Crawfish and his good friend the Blue Gourami
Now that the big fish tank has been downsized (minus two of the large decoration “buildings”—update on that later) to accommodate the growing Oscars, there are less places for the crawfish to hide. He likes the plants (still have 2) and the back of things. But the only thing to go behind is a tall, pillar piece that isn’t really hide-able.
And the Gourami likes to “sit” on stuff. Not sit, but kind of hover over and skim a surface to where it looks like it’s resting on it.
So these to crazy marine animals got together and I guess they are cool with hanging out on top of each other. The Blue Gourami is sitting ON the Blue Crawfish. It was funny to see because the crawfish wasn’t trying to snap at him. And it looks like the fish has claws. I took the pics with my camera phone and they didn’t move at all.
This is from the end looking longways into the tank. The camera phone took a good picture. Sometimes I get really lucky. I don’t know how amusing you’ll find it, but here it is:
Right in the middle of the plants. Fish on top, crawfish underneath.
After I saw how good the camera took the picture of the tank, I thought I’d try to get a long view of the whole tank. You can see the pillars in the back and an Oscar on the top, right. And there’s a shark near the bottom, swimming away. The light on top is from the tank, and it adds a nice underwater, peaceful glow I think. Makes you feel like a fish. That may be a stretch. But stare at it long enough and you’ll go into a trance!
On the way to the second-day check-up…
I was sitting at a light. Big intersection. Waiting to turn. The medical building looming to the front left, a cemetery (?) front right, and houses to the side. Suburban residential. Life and death in four corners. And I’m just sitting there. And I think to myself that the truck in front of me turning the opposite way looked so strange. I was tired. It was sunny (no specs, they just broke remember?, didn’t get the new ones yet.) It was hot. 90° and you start seeing stuff. I say to my mom, “That truck looks so strange.” She just agrees. It was so red and square and it had those safety cones hanging off the front…I took the picture…my mom says, “You’re so weird.”
I didn’t really think it would turn out
The deer pictures. I have two, well, I have about a hundred pictures, that upon closer inspection on the big screen are composed of a lot of grass, trees, leaves, shrubs, weeds, and sky shots, with a small, blurry, deer-shaped smudge in the center, or off to the side, or at the bottom. Just your basic professional camera-phone, nature-photo photography. It’s mostly crap.
But this came out pretty good. I’ll only bore you with one, because the other one looks just like this except the deer might have tilted his/her head ever-so-slightly to the left. (Nope, actually, I change that thought—one below—one above, if that isn’t confusing enough) I notice the change in color too, now that I have it here. One seems darker and more natural. Almost the same shot, from the same distance, from the same spot on the trail. All I had to wait for in between was my phone to save the picture.
And all you thought you were getting was long, rambling stories about nothing and here it’s a (could be) college-level (generous) type discussion on the technical and and artistic capabilities of camera phone technology. I am sure I can make up any number of time-frame-exposure-light sentences for you to read and we can all feel extra smart during our day today!
But, it’s the usual, simple, at my favorite running trail, deers so close they are trying to jump on me! See past post for THAT exciting story! Even the babies are bigger than you want bumping into you!
ReHung!
And done. Looks so nice doesn’t it? These would be BEFORE they were actually home:
Paeceful. Quiet. Sunshiny.
Stevie Side
Mason Side. (Sorry for the blurs.)
When last you heard from me, I was on my way to school…
…with high hopes for the rest of the evening. When suddenly…Tequila! (And that was TWO days ago.)
I did go to school. I got the “pre-heads-up” to the actual “heads-up” classes I have next week. Signed some paperwork. Got some questions answered. Payed for classes. Bought more books. Drove home excited as hell, but unaware of the complicated nature of what I am about to embark upon.
I have three books and a syllabus right now, and I have three more books to buy. Definitely the most I have needed so far. When I trained for EMT I was on an adrenaline rush for hours after every single class, for like 4-6 months. It was crazy. And I have that same crazy feeling just looking at these books. Two years and god knows how many hours are about to go into this program, but I am ready. I’m not sure my body can take the intensity. I had trouble sleeping before, but I guess that will just help me on the job! I talked so much on the phone to the BF just driving home from a pre-class class, that I, “low-battery-powered-off”, the cell phone. The damn thing drained out good. First time I talked to the cut-off. Even after I plugged it back in it wouldn’t turn on for a little while.
So I take a closer look at this new book. Calculating With Confidence. Drug calculations, measurements, math conversions…OMG, it looks hard. Drug labels, syringes, pills, liquids, fractions, decimals, cc. mL. mg. oz. You need: Aspirin gr 10 p.o. q4h p.r.n. for pain. You have: Drug label, that suddenly makes no sense whatsoever. And tell me how much, with how much diluent, time of day, route of administration, but don’t forget who you are giving it to, how much they weigh, what else they are taking; now mark it on the drawing, and don’t “F” it up because you could kill someone…. I’m paraphrasing…but that’s the idea. Once you take off the plastic shrink wrap, the front cover has a skull and crossbones on it. They don’t want you to see that until it’s too late. And you thought that the nurse handing you two Tylenol in the hospital after dinner didn’t require any skill. HA!
The amazing thing is, that in 2 months, that book is going to make perfect sense, and I’ll be calculating in my sleep (not literally), but for now…we better go to Pepe’s and think about the future.
So the guy that has been working there since he was a child, really, (I know, because we as a family, collectively have been going there for his whole life basically, I even remember a time when he was out in the parking lot trying to drive off in his older brothers car…he got in trouble for that…) anypepestoryway…this kid/adult now (Ricky? The name would not come to me, don’t judge, I’m approaching 40, but Mason and Stevie both agree, yes, on the name) made me a killer, and I mean KILLER margarita. I took 4 drinks and I was feeling the heat. By one third gone, I was TWO thirds gone. I wish I could say I was joking, because I was getting “altered” and fast. (My teeth were numb and I tried to walk out of the clear glass panel NEXT to the door, when I left the restaurant) I ate some chips and salsa and some shrimp cocktail on crackers and a tamale and a chili rellano but food was failing me fast, so I concentrated on finishing the medium margarita that, based on my morning calculations of how-long-it-takes-my-body-to-filter-out-the-alcohol (years of research have perfected this system) there must have been at least, 5 shots of tequila in my drink. I can say that with confidence because I was still slightly drunk at 7:30 in the morning. And I even tried to move the alcohol along with activity and oxygen before I fell into dreamy-drunky sleep the night before but sometimes you can’t keep a good buzz down, or up, or whatever. End of story.
I dragged myself up, took out the garbage, diluted my remaining blood level of tequila with coffee, and watched Regis & Kelly with Pat Tomasulo subbing for Regis (!!) I wrote it on the calendar! Busy schedule, yeah yeah, I’ll be working soon enough and you’ll miss these long, rambling posts. (More Pat Stuff)
The Pat Down. For your enjoyment. And since this is Chicago, we have 2 newspapers…here’s the Trib version. Ok, I think I’m done now.
Then I really pushed the limit with a five mile run. Five point one something something, to be exact. I ran the water bill to the Village Hall, which maps out at 5+ miles. MapMy Run.com. 30 minutes there. 34 minutes back. One hour, four minutes. I will take it. I ran on the sidewalks. Concrete, hard on the shins with lots of hills, (dang Park Forest doesn’t have a completely flat spot 10 steps in a row), and chock full of tripping hazards. Broken cement, uneven, crooked, weeds, rocks…I’m not sure what the village is doing all the time. It seems like they dig holes in random spots all around town just so there’s something for the kids to fall into. At any rate. I was done for the day. Kids got home about 3 ish and we ate ice cream and talked about all they did last week. Stevie made cupcakes! First time on her own and no crunchy ones from egg shells! (So far) So proud. Then dinner and a movie. (Burgers on the grill and Smokey and the Bandit from Netflix) unpack the bags, go to bed and poof! Here we are. Today.
I’m going to skip the run today, maybe go take a walk at the nature trail if I can get the kids out there. Mason has grass to finish and we are open. I have the pictures you have been waiting for…I didn’t forget, it’s just time and energy and getting them off the cell phone. I even have video! The kids wanted to play in the water, but we don’t have a pool. We have a hose. So they filled up larger, plastic, Tupperware bowls and put their faces in them or dumped them over their heads. They would swim in a wet sponge if they could. Then they played water-hose-jump-rope, which is actually pretty funny. So that’s coming too! And all that other stuff I said I had…Remember my theme: Everything is always two days ago!
Cupcakes!
Half with sprinkles, half without! Tasty!
Dodge Challenger. Lucky Number 13
In my favorite color.
I’ve seen one that was a deep, midnight blue, but I couldn’t get a picture.
This is nice too.
Chevy Camaro. Trying to look cool…
Or as I like to refer to it: The Dodge Nemesis
Following me home on Tuesday night.
At the same time, Mason and I said, "What car is that??"
Picture time. It's 1 a.m. so we don't want to flash right into the guys window. But we're slightly crazy.
This is as flashy as I let Mason get.
The required arty-looking-back-in-the-side-view-mirror shot. Buh-Bye!
It was a nice car. Very sleek looking, with nice wheels. Good color too! Not too flashy.
Heaven help me, I might actually be falling for it!
Thursday. $3.60 in the bank.
Another day of exercise is complete. That is 4 in a row for us!
We used various methods in order to get around the full Three Dollars and Sixty Cents worth of trail. (Please refer to the previous day for the money explanation on mileage)
I ran. Yay! 3.6 miles. Non-stop! Ooooh…impressive to the kiddies. (I dogged it too, but who cares, I did it.)
Mason rode his bike. He probably logged 4.5 miles or more going around on his own.
Stevie scootered it. She prob got about 4 miles circling back and forth around me the whole time.
I was like a planet with my revolving moons…or was I the revolving moon with my planets jiggling in orbit while my shining stars hovered near by? According to my kids, my stomach looks like a water balloon and my butt crack was trying to eat my pants.
Here’s a picture of a giant globe from Art Chicago at the Mart last year. Seems fitting.
just shy of pretty 