Smokin’ In The Boys Room

May 26, 2013 at 12:48 pm (Day to Day, Employed Posts!, Family, Food News, For Jeff the BF, For Mason, For Stevie, Giant Food, Holiday, Homemade, Thank You, Weather) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

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And by “boys room”,  I mean the outside. While I work this weekend, my BF has decided to do many manly things, like, work on his motorcycle, cut large tree limbs with a chainsaw, and smoke much meat. It sounds like so much fun I just wish I could have had these days off to be here for all of it. Ahem. No, really. (Not really). I like to spend my holiday weekends working and taking care of sick people and listening to their families tell me what a crap job I’m doing. It’s what I got into this profession for. That rewarding feeling of spending more hours with other people’s families instead of my own. Without sarcasm, I really do like my job. It’s just some families make it very difficult to keep calm. The patients are fine. It’s just the families sometimes. Still, I think it will be better than the manual labor that needs to be done here. Sweaty, with heavy lifting. Oh wait, that’s my job too. Ha. OK. Enough. That’s my work rant.  Back to the meat!

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Apparently this is stuff you need. Along with a starter tube thing that gets the coals going, a temp gauge, (actually two temp gauges, one for the cooker and one for the meat), water for steam, spices, herbs, liquids, “rubs”, side dishes, buns, etc…and of course: The Meat. This will all cost you approx. 90 dollars or so. If you had to buy your own smoker, that could be an extra 100-500 dollars, depending on quality and advanced smoking technology. Or something. This smoker in the picture was the gift the BF got for working so hard at his job for this many,  past 15 years. It seems like it’s nice smoker machine. I have just been informed that the meat is at 162 degrees. The number we are looking for is 190 I believe. We are doing pulled pork as the maiden smoking. I keep typing “we”, but I literally have done NOTHING except take the pictures and type this. Soon, I will get dressed and leave, so I won’t even be here for the big finish. But, of course I have a preview. Please feast your eyes below on three hunks of pure animal flesh, cooking and smoking, slowly, and at a certain temperature, for maximum tenderness and pullability. It really smells good too:

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Two on top, one below. That sounds like a good name for a band or a book title. The key to cooking this right, I am told, is slow and low. Also, coincidentally a good band name or book title. At any rate, what we want is to put it in our mouths and not even have to chew. The meat should literally pull apart and melt like butter on our palates and slide juicily and effortlessly down our throats to our waiting tummies without any pesky chewing involved. But usually it’s on a  bun with sauce, so please, family, while I am gone, chew a little, please. Bread mostly needs to be chewed, somewhat, to break it down. Then swallow.  No need to ruin a good weekend with “Heimlich’s” or “ambulances” or “hospitals” or “morgues”. Thank you.

Thus ends the meat post for today. I hear and smell lots of manly things going on in the neighborhood today, so I need to get the hell out of here! The outside temp is up to 75 degrees. Sunny and beautiful for the Midwest. The meat temp is at a cool 165. The BF is cutting sticks with the chainsaw. The boy/son is playing XBox in his room enjoying none of the outside weather. The daughter is still at my sissy’s house and will prob go from there to her cousins house to spend the night, after she stops here first to eat meat. She loves meat. Yes, I see what I typed there, but I’m leaving it. It’s too early (for me) to try and fix the innuendo. She’s 14 for cry-yi. Some girls are salads and try a vegetarian phase, not mine. She is steak all the way.

Let them eat meat! And don’t forget it’s Memorial Weekend. Hug a vet! Thank a soldier while you are grilling those hot dogs and drinking that beer! Even if you just send up a big toast and a cheer into the great unknown. It’s all good karma to the universe. Later.

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