I blame the booze
And messed up cosmic bowling. And a million people all driving towards the mall. And a long line at the liquor store. And that first, delicious, vodka martini with garlic stuffed olives (pretty good, not as over powering or breath killing as you might think). And the movie Elf. And the bottle of wine that I bought the other day. And the other bottle of wine that I bought today. And the sore muscles that prevented me from getting up and moving in a timely fashion. And the Wizard of Oz, with commercials, so that I could struggle to my feet and exercise my way to the kitchen for more drinks in between.
But not actually exercise. Or not eat. The moment I said I would just drink and not eat, all I could think about was food. So we ate pretty much all the leftovers in the house. And then some other stuff too. Sorry Mason, we ate the cheese sticks. I’ll buy more this week.
And then it was so late. I could stand and walk enough but I was not doing, like, a workout. And now it’s morning. For the record I slept like crap. And I had a headache all night long. And I was really thirsty. And I had strange, weird dreams about working in a hospital. A giant, multi-level, spread out hospital that doesn’t exist in real life. I had to put eye drops in a long list of patients scattered everywhere, and measure their pupil dilation. But I couldn’t find the rooms. And the patients were listed categorically by disorder and it seemed most were psychiatric. It took me 15 minutes just to get near the hospital rooms. There was a huge, 2 level, narrow, oddly stepped staircase I had to go down (and back up) and my kids were following me and I was wearing my school uniform. AND I was drinking in my dream too! IN the hospital. All the other nurses and doctors were too. I don’t know what that means but it’s probably not good. In the end I could only find one person on the list and he refused.
Thank god I woke up. I’m drinking coffee now without anything in it, although I bought something for that yesterday too. I’m going to wait until later. During football, to start drinking again. And I must try to exercise even though just trying to cough hurts at this point. That’s the problem with irregular exercise. Those muscles hate stretching out after you let them sit for awhile. Then they punish you big time by not letting you move faster than sitting and not lifting more than a fork or a glass. Thank goodness I can type, right Amanda??
I suppose I better get up now and do something. In celebration of school being over I got myself some fake nails. But I am not skilled on managing alot of personal hygiene things yet. Takes practice and some different moves. Like, for instance, it took me half an hour to put in my contact lenses. It’s stupid. I don’t know how the fancy girls do it 24/7. But in a week or so, I’ll have naturalized myself to the whole concept and I’ll be fine. I let my daughter get some too, but her’s are probably all broken and chipped by now. 2 days would be a record. She likes to tap them on everything and pull at them all the time. Anyway…my point was that it takes longer to do less.
And I have a crazy fish to deal with. My son’s Oscar has taken to swimming around the tank in circles. Not like around the outer edges, literally swimming in fast circles like he’s a dog chasing his tail. We can’t figure out what the problem is. One site said water issues, one says nutrition, one said maybe he broke the heater and he’s getting electrocuted continuously. Well, there’s another fish in the tank and he seems fine so I doubt it’s that, but we unplugged the heater anyway. Still spinning. He also likes to attack the surface and throw water out. He just did it again. The other things are not easily fixable so I say just move him out. I think he’s too large for where he’s at and needs to be moved to the big tank. There are a variety of fish in it already and one giant Oscar. He used to be really aggressive, but he seems to be tamer now. I think it might be ok. It’s a pity though, because Mason’s fish is nice and smooth with no scars or damage and he’s probably going to get beat up a little bit if we switch him.
Anyway, these are the problems of a Sunday morning stall. Type long enough and something else will come up to do other than exercise. Like your mom calling you and asking when you planned on coming over. Hi mom! Thanks! Did you read all this? It’s funny huh?? So, since I didn’t make it clear when I called her earlier, and she won’t drive her scroungy butt to me, I guess I better really go get dressed and haul it out there! See? No exercise! Yay fat me!
I am posting a picture of the big Oscar that Mason took as companion to this fine piece of writing, except that its at the top, so you’ve already seen it. And I still have lots of Christmas pics I took from around my house when I was goofing around with the camera. And hopefully, I’ll have really old pics to post from when my dad was alive later too. Pretty exciting stuff. You do want to see those, I promise. In the meantime though, here’s a picture of Mason’s crazy fish:
He’s not as clear as he could be, but you get the idea. He’s about 8 inches long and 5 inches top fin to bottom. In a 36 gallon bow tank and looking mean, but we’ll see.
Hot in the City….
It is Sunday, May 23, in Chicago. It’s a blazing 90 degrees and I have been drinking margarita’s all afternoon. This is my first post, post-nursing, first year. I am done for the summer! Passed successfully the course, the final and the final-final for the past year of material. I will be enjoying this afternoon and evening and start reading some more stuff on Monday. It’s recommended. But, no pressure so its really more for fun. Haha.
Anyway, let me rewind the week, but fast-forward the boring parts (zip it Amanda…some people do not think this is ALL boring like you…har har) anyhoo…let’s see…oh yes…my sister (Amanda) squeezed out yet ANOTHER child into this world…good job! Welcome Everet Jase! Congrats to the family!
I passed my classes, I registered for fall, I paid for fall (lots of money I don’t actually have…and don’t even qualify for using student aid…but hoping for good luck with some working scholarship money, and I bought some lottery tickets also as a back up plan.
Saturday, myself and the family (kids and bf), babysat for the new bean so my sister could go to a wedding and try to wear sexy clothes and drink for the first time in 9 months. She looked cute but the alcohol didn’t take. She tried her best but we are thinking that the bartender thought she was still a pregnant lady and gave her non-alcohol drinks! We have to get that baby weight off! Which leads me to our next big thing…Warrior Dash! It is coming fast and neither of us is ready and I don’t have a baby as an excuse for my chub…only fast food and laziness. So that means you get to follow along on the progress all summer! I may have pictures…they are guaranteed to be funnier this year because they have that same wall for me to not be able to climb over again AND a new net-wall-army-thing that I will probably never get my big booty up on. So you’ll definitely want to stay tuned.
After the babysitting, 3 am, yikes, and an hour drive home, we get to bed at 4. Kids leave at 11 ish to go to an other-family-thing with their dad, and I get the idea to go for a nice bike ride with the bf, you know, get a jump start on the massive diet and exercise program that begins tomorrow for this entire household. The “Summer of Slim”, the “Focus on Fat”, the “Abolishment of Adipose”…we need a catchy slogan for my program, especially since we will all be crying by Tuesday about how hungry and tired we are of this horrible plan…and how we’d rather just stay fat…no no, not this year. My goal is my son. Slim by seventh…that’s good too…hmmmm….anyway, it’s happening and I will be unliked for some time this summer.
Back to the bike ride…we decided on a modest 9 miles (thank goodness the bf doesn’t listen to me, because I first suggested the 19 mile loop we were doing last year, which we would still be doing right now). So, to the trail, on the bikes, riding, riding, riding, sweating, hills, 90 degrees, more hills, sweating, still riding…9 miles is really long, even on a bike, if you haven’t done it in a year, finally down to 2.8 left, I was like, what???, man I thought we were done, but we made it back to the car and even went past and back to make it a nice even 10 miles. Felt good. Felt sexy, in that sweaty, I-just-exercised-don’t-I-glisten-in-the-sun kind of way! And then driving home we go right past this Mexican restaurant with awesome margarita’s and I said that’s what we should do…have margarita’s for the rest of the day. So we change, drive back, drink margarita’s, eat guacamole and enchilada’s with green sauce, and watch the Hawks win it for the city! But the fun doesn’t end there….we need home margarita ingredients!
To the liquor store…got it all, Tequila, mixer, salt, limes….and more heat. It’s still like 80 something outside, no air conditioning inside, wouldn’t put it on anyway because it’s only May, and it’s 8 o’clock pm. I’m on, like my third glass, but it’s hard to tell because it’s never really an empty-fill thing, it’s more like a continual addition to what is already in the glass thing. At any rate, it’s lovely, and it’s getting hard to type or see, because dusk is upon us here in the Midwest. My kids should be home soon. Dirty and sweaty from their day and needing showers for school in the a.m. Well, shower for one anyway…the girl broke her arm again and is limited to baths with her cast sticking out…I have pictures!
I have lots and lots and lots more stuff to tell and write and show and post, I have missed so much since Easter because of school, but I shall have the whole summer to amuse my loyal fan base!
I also have pictures but cannot post any because I am not typing this on my computer where the pictures are. My computer is trying to get reconfigured for better speed and quality of content. So this will have to be good for now.
I have money to post! I have found alot of spare change in the last few months. I have saved it all for you in one location so I can total it up and be very dramatic about it. And I have Cool Words galore thanks to my girl…she has been saving them and is anxious to start helping me. I have Warrior Dash training, and PF 5-Mile training, and get-my-son-slim-by end-of-summer training and healthy cooking (?) attempting, and music! Music music…I have been so slacked…playlists and inspiration….you do not want to miss any of it!!
Also I want to thank my followers, particularly the one who sent me the notice about the creator of my favorite coffee cup…the New York Coffee Cup….we are happy to serve you…blue with gold trim….passing away recently. I have the Time magazine write-up abut it and him and the iconic piece of history he left behind. Thank you for keeping me informed when I cannot! If you want to see more about the cup, click here, NYCC, and if you just want more, I will be back soon with all the good stuff…hopefully late late tonight or tomorrow once the computer is fixed, the kids hit school and I hit the gym (training starts NOW), I also need some healthy food items in the house…we are down to coffee, 4 slices of bread, almond and rice milk, and eggs…which I am going to go boil right now for tomorrow.
Until then, have another drink, maybe one more for tonight, and enjoy the heat wherever you are. It’s good to be back! Cheers.
Happy Easter!
Sorry for the LONG delay…I have been busy with school…it is winding down, so more frequent posts should be coming. BUT, I could not let this day pass without sharing the love from some of our neighborhood entrepreneurs.
Yes that's a liquor store in the background. I ask you, Can a businessman help it, if that's what happens to be on the busiest selling corner?? People gotta drink. And they need Easter baskets. That's just good marketing.
Last post of the night…
Hold on, let me get a drink for this….
Ok. If you read this in any kind of dailyway, I pretty much list off my activities for the day. So, even though I had good intentions when I woke up this morning (early , so that I could watch the WGN Morning News—I even texted what kind of underwear Pat Tomasulo should wear to co-host his first Regis & Kelly Show on Tuesday—sad), basically I did nothing. The road to Hell…
Drank coffee. Bitched and moaned when I had to take the car to the brake shop, which we desperately needed. Grumped about having to go buy windows and stain and rocks for the house to make it look nicer. Hated the lunch I ate, even though I picked the place. Was bored at the Pet Store getting feeders for the cannibal Oscars (which are getting big–I’m going to do a before and after post when I sober up in the morning because I’ll never find the old pictures in this condition). Sat inside and played BeJeweled on the computer and Facebook while the BF cleaned off the roof, gutters and patio in the blazing midday sun. Perked up a little when we had to go get the car, brand new brakes—so nice!–only because I knew we had to go right past a liquor store! Yay! Happily walked around said liquor store picking up various drink items for tonight and tomorrow. Drove car home thinking about making delicious martini’s and laying across the couch like a lump. Sitting here, right now, drinking second martini and typing about the things that I won’t be finishing up tonight. Like…
The laundry.
The kids room. So close too! Got it painted and ready to re-build. Got proof too! See pics below! I was going to save them for the big before and after unveiling, but who am I kidding?? I might not even finish that room now until Sunday or Monday. HA. All I have to do is hang curtains and move the furniture back. Oh Cursed Vodka!!
Another thing I didn’t do was run. And I feel bad about that. It’s been 2 days; three when I wake up tomorrow. (I did paint for those two days—today was just pure lazy) It’s going to suck running around out there for 4 miles, maybe more, as punishment, with a hangover and reeking of booze sweat but I can’t get behind. I have a five mile race in one month and you saw those butt pictures. Eee-yew…did any one else just feel a chill?? Goosebumps. Or giant lumps (of fat in my pants—yuck). I’m not even telling you where those pictures are or linking it. Find it yourself.
What I am going to do though, is finish this up, post those pictures (the walls and windows really did turn out nice–good work SoberLisa!) and make some moves on my BF. (Too much information???)
Like Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders, once said (and she totally rocks):
“One drink makes me want to go to bed.
Two drinks makes me want to go to YOUR bed.”
Goodnight, Chicagago!
just shy of pretty 