Back of the Bench because I know you want to see it
This is my favorite bench so far. I am pretty sure I haven’t put up even half of the bench pictures that I have in my files, but when I do, you will agree, this one is really cool.
I had to take a short 45 minute exercise break. Here’s a question…if an overweight middle aged lady collapses in her house all alone gasping for air, does she really make a sound?
Well I didn’t fall but I was making some unusual noises. Heavy footsteps, creaking limbs, pounding heart beats, throbbing head bangs, wheezing, moaning, and dry throated screaming. Not to mention the shaky limbs and dripping secretions. It really is like a haunted house over here. It’s a middle aged nightmare! Too bad it’s broad daylight and so damn sunny and temperate outside. Kind of takes away from the whole horror scene situation. Just makes it sad. It’s embarrassing how out of shape I am. Especially with all this free time I’ve been having. I should not be struggling to breathe and laying near the door with the phone half dialed to 9-1-1. Wait. I think I forgot to unlock the deadbolt. Crap. Death AND a broken door. Tricks on me. Boo.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! Home all day edition!
Well, I seriously thought I would have a job by now! This stinks! BUT…I am still “being actively considered” (thank goodness for that at least) by several hospitals, so I guess I just have to wait. Now that’s a trick! Scary too. I have never been unemployed this long in my whole life! Anyhomeeverydayway….
I spend most of my time on the computer filling out apps, checking sites and reapplying where ever I can. It takes a long time believe it or not, and some of these hospitals have a really complicated application process. We should get points just for filling them out all the way to the end. After staring at the computer screen all day and trying to come up with new ways to write a cover letter or explain (beg) why I want this particular position, I am burnt out and not interested in posting about my failures.
But today is a brand new week. And a brand new month is about to strike. Besides tomorrow is the really scary day. All Saints Day. The spirits get restless and try to walk around. That’s the day to go hang out in the cemetery. Nothing like swirling demons and the undead to occupy your mind and time. Bring them some of that candy, light a candle, say a few words for peace and staying in the grave and carry on. If I’m up top it’s already a good day. So, anyway, I have pictures and other fun stuff like that, that I have been doing when I am not actually sitting on this hard ass bench desperately searching for a way out of my ever increasing depression! Cheery!
Obviously today is Halloween, so that means free candy! My kids are going to suck it up one more year and do the ho stroll for tricks and treats. So in addition to the exercise I am about to go do so I can eat all that candy without guilt, I will be getting additional exercise later walking around gathering more with the children. They are old enough to go on their own and I don’t think they’ll get kidnapped or sex offended but they like for me to go too. And since I have discovered the joy of walking around with a holiday “beverage”, I am happier, the trip is easier, and I stay warmer longer! Winning!
Well I have lots more pictures I will just throw up every few minutes or hours depending on what else I do today. The above picture is from the “Benches” collection that I gather over the summer. They did a special one for Halloween so I captured all the angles and the accompanying decorations in the surrounding area. I will post more in about an hour or so. I have to go do that cardio I was talking about or I can’t eat any more junk. And that would make me even sadder. And we can’t have that. No suicide attempts on Halloween! That sounds like a good book title! Or at least a good headline for my next post. Later.
Just one more before I go
It’s really perfect outside right now. 5 pm. October 12. The sun is still up there but the clouds are moving in. It is supposed to rain tonight and lower our temperatures to somewhere back down in the normal autumnal degree range. That was a fine, complicated sentence wasn’t it? Did you just read it again? Anyway, the air temperature feels like skin temperature. It feels so close to body temp it’s like not being outside at all. And the sun is throwing off that color I like to refer to as “movie lighting”. The source is from one very specific direction and illuminates everything before it in a brilliant and bright, almost fake looking light. We are a media world. We all live in the movies. If you are anywhere near the Chicago area, take a few moments and go outside if you can. Just breathe in the air and appreciate the fantastic luck of being alive and able to view that sky. I have to go move through it now. By the time I get back out later, it will be dark and cool, and hopefully I will ride home under that last bit of the big Hunter Moon of the year and wait for the rain to wash all this summer away for good.
I should be ashamed of us
We “snack” like a bunch of cheap drunks at an all-you-can-eat-free-buffet-happy-hour for scroungy ass hobo’s in the sketchiest part of town. It’s ridiculous our diet. And no great mystery why we are all a little thick in the middle. Chili, with cheese AND sour cream (two heart attacks for the price of one). Chips AND dip. Sushi (what??). From Target. (double what??). Pigs in a blanket (me). Halloweenies (my daughter). Cocktail weenies in a biscuit (fact). 911! Whatever you call them they still equal chest pain in the middle of the night. It’s atrocious. And after I leave for school, the kids will probably eat a frozen pizza for “dinner”. And I will eat my pre-packed baggies of trail mix and coffee in my Soc. class while praying I don’t die of a coronary on the car ride home. That is, if I don’t pass out in the stairwell first just trying to get to class. Can everyone say huff and puhhh…Eh. Forget it. Apples and water all day tomorrow. Cleanse and flush. We’ll cure it with overkill. Sleep sweet. And upright. Night night.
Another beautiful day! And I had to stay in for most of it!! Bwaaahhhh!!
78 degrees at press time. Are you kidding October 12?? Thank you for giving me another day to feel good. I was feeling the hot lick of failure on my heels last night because I only managed to get about 1 page of my paper done and then I ate dinner, watched tv and went to bed.
But. Tuh-day. Yes! Redemption. I sat and just typed for hours. A nice breeze blowing in from the window and the sun shining down. My right hand was actually feeling tight and swollen. But I pressed on.
At about 10:30 am, the helpful village personnel that dig up all of our streets for their pure enjoyment on the nicest days of the year, drove by in their town truck and bull horned out an announcement that they were shutting off the water blumbablibabbababa….who knows….because they drove past while talking and NOT slowing down OR speaking loud enough into their little megaphone speaker thing on the vehicle. They might as well have just shouted it out the window at random houses. But I heard “water shut off” and I jumped out of my seat like my butt caught fire. I ran into the bathroom and took a fast shower, brushed my teeth, went to the bathroom, and filled up our Brita canister. 15 minutes tops! It’s a record for me because I can really poke around the house for hours doing absolutely nothing. By the time I finished my clean routine the water was indeed off. And it still isn’t really on yet. The water that is coming out of our cold water faucet is the rustiest I have EVER seen it. It is a dark brownish orange with visible swirling sediment in it. I have lived here for almost 20 years and it’s truly disgusting.
My toilet is going to look like it’s been sitting in an abandoned house for years. Yuk. I have no idea what the hell they are doing this time but it’s messed up. At the very least though, I can flush my toilet so that is something to be thankful for. We still have some kind of trickling orange mess coming in. Showers should be fun tomorrow! Flush, wait a while, and you can flush again! Bonus!
After that drama/excitement, I sat back down and kept typing. Tippy tippy type type typing…Six pages later….done! I just couldn’t describe and type anymore. I had to end it already. It was 1:30 when I finally e-mailed that stinker to my teacher. (Has to be in before 5) That is the closest I’ve cut it so far. Not a good feeling.
But. Another butt. Some good stuff happened too. I applied for a few real jobs that are actually in my skill range and I got another rejection, but NOT because I am unqualified, but because the position is no longer available. Victory! Also I feel better too. Not fully recovered but better. My cold has moved from chest to throat and is threatening to take my voice away. The BF says, so sincerely (not really), awww, that’s too bad. Hmph.
That’s all. The kids came home. We ate a bunch of crap. They are doing homework now and I will be leaving soon. Had just enough time to snap that picture above and the one below. Back to reality for the Midwest. Tomorrow they say is a whole other ball game. Later.
How am I supposed to do homework with this?
October 11 and I can sit outside in the morning and drink coffee and try to take pictures of birds?? October 11 and I can sit outside in the afternoon and drink water (?) and read a magazine and try to take pictures of birds?? October 11 and I can sit outside in the evening and drink wine and try to read a magazine in the dusky dark while STILL trying to take pictures of birds?? And not get bit by a hundred mosquitoes??
I may have taken some artistic license with that coffee/water/wine analogy. Since I still don’t have a job and school is only on Wednesday, it’s pretty much coffee to wine, on a daily basis. The direct route to alcoholism is usually the straightest and quickest way to get nothing done in a day. (I also use the term “wine” loosely here. Wine can be vodka or whiskey, and even actual wine depending on what is in the house. Lately I find myself experimenting with tequila. No. Not good with a variety of things like its versatile friend vodka. And Gin. Also no. It has a fruity, plant-like taste that I do not find appealing. So that’s probably a good thing right?)
Anyway. It’s gorgeous out. We never get to have this nice weather so late in the year. I say it’s extra good because I don’t have to turn on the furnace or the air conditioner. Open windows all the time. Ahhh. Nature. But it’s also extra bad because who wants to stay inside and do boring crap when you know this won’t last?? Also I have been sick for the last week so I am glad for nowhere to go but my head hurts and I can’t do my homework. But I can type here….hmmm…that’s because this is supposed to be short and from my brain, without needing editing or spell check or fonts and spacing. It’s Tuesday and I said I would have it done by the time the kids got home from school. Well unless I can wrap this up and squeeze out a miracle 3 page paper plus observation notes in one hour it’s not going to happen. I have successfully pressured myself into staying up late to finish something that I could have had done hours ago. Poop. At least I am dressed and prepared to leave the house if I had too. That’s something.
Besides, my fans—all two of you—want to know, “How was that delicious looking pie??” Well, it’s gone. That’s how. As I commented to my cousin in the previous post, that pie did not last 24 hours. It really was good.The apples were sweet and tender, the juice was thick and cinnamony, the streusel topping was crunchy and sweet and buttery. Even my kids who declared that the pie was way too big and tall and that the topping was way too much and looked thick and weird, agreed it was the best part. They can’t believe I somehow made this magical pie with the crumbly top. And they watched me do it. Making stuff from scratch is fun but it takes a long time. I didn’t even make the pie crust. I am not ready for that kind of homemaking. But the store kind works really well and I don’t think it took away from the pie at all. As a bonus to making the pie, when I took it out of the oven and let it cool on a wire rack I felt just like some old-timey, Wizard of Oz, O Brother Where Art Thou, country cook. Cooling pies in the window sill. Hilarious.
I really better get started on that homework. I’m feeling uncomfortable with the stress of underachieving and the anxiety of joblessness so I better do something productive to soothe my nerves. FYI, for all the kids out there, alcohol DOES NOT take away the underlying current of manic desperation from not contributing to society in a useful way. Especially when you work hard to be able to do just that. And it doesn’t help you sleep at night either!
But, I do think it helped speed this cold along…germ killing effects or something like that. Kidding. My cold has been progressing in it’s normal pattern without the added benefits or the hindering properties of any alcohol related treatments.
Serious disclaimer: (before my other sister jumps all down my throat): All alcohol related content and posts about over consumption and drunkenness are HIGHLY exaggerated for story telling purposes. I find it much funnier to talk about drinking and the effects it can bring about than the actual drinking part. I mean, please, there is no way I could do half the repetitive, boring, day-to-day, household crap I actually do do, if I sat around all day drinking alcohol. Nice role model for the kids too huh?? Ha. I said doo-doo. Immature!
If I post more later it means I finished my school stuff and I can relax for a few hours. In the meantime, here’s another picture of my beautiful sky from the back patio sitting-chair. Enjoy!
Sorry Sister!
Apple Pie! My first apple pie in many years. We will see. Juices are supposed to be bubbling and it’s done. That would be a crumby streusel type topping. It tastes good. I already tried it. Now hopefully the apples will be soft and sweet and the inside will not be runny!
Just have to dash out for some ice cream, milk, caramel, toilet paper, wine….well you don’t want my whole list. I’ll post later to let you know how it all turned out.
And for you Amanda…check the reply to your comment on the previous post. It explains it all in a witty way. XO. Dream sweet!
Speaking of Apples…
What would you do if your child went apple picking and brought home 11 pounds of those crazy sweet fruits?
Why, you’d make jelly, of course!
Looks easy on the internet. Seems easy too. Cut this, boil that. Drain, strain, sugar, and juice. Boil. Boil. Boil. Boil. Boil some more. When it sticks to the spoon it’s done! Now pour it in a jar and boil it again. 5 more minutes. Done! Again.
What do you do with the leftover apple garbage?
Why, you put it in a blender and make applesauce of course. Silly. Homemade applesauce. Tastes like baby food. Sweetened and cinnamoned. Mmmm. Looks like throw up in a container. Baby throw up in a container.
But after 4 hours and about 100 degrees later (because of course, today, the temp outside decided to go back to a summer high of 85) we have three of the cutest little toasty brown jars of apple jelly.
They are adorable.
Now we let them sit for two weeks. TWO weeks. And we can open one up and pray that the jelly is gelled. At least this will give me enough time to search out the most perfect bread to spread this jelly upon. Oh wait! I can MAKE my own bread! Hot damn! Something to do tomorrow afternoon! Dream sweet!
RIP Steve Jobs
I love my Ipod. My kids love their Ipods.
These wonderful, magical, amazing, tiny, technological machines took 30,000 of my favorite songs and fit them into a player the size of a cassette tape. IRun. IListen. ISmile.
I Thank You.
Rest in Peace Mr. Jobs. (1955-2011)
Are you sick of looking at that gaudy duck too?!?
Our weather has taken a turn for the better these last few days. It’s our last blitz before the horrible cold and (according to the weather predictors) record breaking freezes and snow inches. Yay. The only good thing about the snap in temperature is that it ends any allergic sneezing and runny eyes and noses. Annoying. The cold sucks though. I don’t know why I stay here where it’s all “seasonal”. Oh wait. I know why. Family. No job. Can’t sell the house. Can’t buy a new one. Etcetera.
Anyhow this nice weather really causes me to procrastinate on the schoolwork. But it does inspire me to get off my fat butt and exercise. Which I desperately need. How long can I keep pushing the 40+ envelope before I get some medical problem that I will actually have to go to a doctor for?? Let me tell you, you creeping, increasing, scary pounds on the scale…not much longer. After my initial health kick earlier this autumn where I shed a pants-applicable 5 pounds. I have managed to hold steady without a lot of effort. That means little to no exercise but no eating either. I’m squeezing the clothes on, but it is not pretty. There are lumps and bumps where there should be none.
So here I am again. Finding myself having to go run and eat healthy. If only I could keep it up for longer than a week or a jean size. Now, at least, I have the added inspiration of trying to outrun my daughter. Since she started cross country (it’s over now—but she did really good) I tried to help her with practice runs, but I am far too slow. These damn kids are fast. And they make it look pretty easy. I was practically having a seizure on the trail. I was counting down in my head by hundreths of a quarter mile just to make it two miles without stopping. I felt pathetic, old and out of shape, but there was no one around to hear me count and watch me dry heave and it did give me something else to think about besides my collapsing lungs.
And I did finish that two miles. 26 minutes. As usual. Every single time I start “running” again, that’s my go-to time. (Let’s not forget I broke a foot this summer so back off!! It’s a miracle I can run at all!! Let’s go with that excuse ok??) Anyway. It’s only been two days of avoiding crap food. Processed, sodium infused, alcohol infused, fried, etc., and I have to say I think I feel a bit better. I can breathe and my head doesn’t hurt too bad. The key is to drink alot of water. Something I have also been neglecting. I can tell that right away though. Because my eyes get all loopy and I feel dizzy. I also tend to go for the dramatic flair and claim that my throat feels like it is closing and I can’t sleep. I actually went to bed last night feeling hungry. My stomach was protesting the fact that I didn’t stuff it so full of food it could try and trick me into sleeping flat so it could give me massive heartburn and laugh in my ear, “HA HA, you have to sleep sitting in a chair!” Spoiled American.
I have heard of this anti-inflammatory diet (which is very similiar to a blood pressure diet or sodium restricted diet) and I guess that’s the one I will have to settle into. It seems to be credible and addresses quite a few of the problems I have been having as a woman aging in this world. It’s so hard to make the right changes even when you know you should. I give myself until 45. That’s the outer limits of my neglect and disregard. After that I think my ability to skate by like a paunchy middle aged lady will totally catch up to me. And I would hate to wait that long and be forced to change. Fun stuff huh??
I wanted to do more than just this post today. But typing on the computer for hours on end makes me really really REALLY crabby. I’m not sure why. But I am feeling the irritation building. I was able to finish my paper. With 7 hours to spare! And I applied for more jobs today. I think that’s what sets me over the crabby edge. The internet is awesome for job hunting and applying but it can be super tedious and repetitive at the same time. Now I am here. Getting ready for school tonight and trying to post something worth reading.
I’ll do some lighter, fun stuff later. No need to keep it so serious. Here’s a picture I took of Stevie’s cross country conference race. These are the 7th grade girls lined up and ready for the whistle. I like the way it looks. Kind of fishbowled out with the coaches behind them. It looks like something exciting is about to happen. These kids are awesome! Track is in the spring so we need to get training! It gives us something to look forward to during the long winter and a goal to shoot for. Skinny and fast. Fall back. Spring forward. All right.
just shy of pretty 