All Hallows’ Eve
And a full moon tonight. The sky is clear enough and there is no wind. It’s a damn tragedy the free candy holiday is over for us now. I was able to get low census at work (yay!) which means I don’t have to go in tonight! It’s true that I don’t get paid, but I will take the trade. I just got done making a giant pot of kick-ass chili (10+ pounds of heartburn in a cauldron) and I’m about to bake out some corn muffins and boil some elbow macaronis for the girl. Add a little cheese, onion and sour cream and it’s our meal. We got the pumpkins and ghosts lit up around the house and this afternoon is slowly, thankfully, slow slow slowly, edging into night. I poured myself some of the reddest wine I could find in the house and I am sipping it like a shipwreck survivor so I don’t lose any of my brain function. It’s an enhancer not the main course sillies! There are scary movies ready to roll but for now we have a running stream of The Most Terrifying Places In America. I do miss the old days a little. I would walk them around the neighborhood until we were freezing and so bogged down with candy we could barely carry it all. Then we would go home to our nice, warm, cozy, little house and the kids would dump all their stuff onto the floor while I made something real to eat. Easy stuff, like tonight, chili or soup, frozen pizzas or crazy spaghetti (that’s just sauce with different kinds of noodle shapes), and then we would watch Sleepy Hollow and call it another Halloween. The kids could eat some candy that night, but for the most part they were in it for the chase as opposed to the kill. I usually ended up taking almost all of it to work with me a week later. Oh memories. Hmm, I think the girl is about to go do a quick run down the block. I see she is getting a costume together so I should wrap this post up. I do have more to say (of course–as always) but I have to finish this dinner. And speaking of costumes, here is mine. It’s not really a costume if it’s your job, but I was already wearing my uniform when they called me, in fact I was already driving to work, but I left it on for effect. My daughter thinks it looks like I am cooking brains. Stay safe out there and get lots of candy! Happy Halloween!
Oh candy…I almost forgot the garbage can full of candy we bought. Seriously. It’s the kind of garbage pail you would put into a bedroom or next to a desk. Ridiculous right? Too much money. Too many raw pounds of chocolate, because of course it’s all chocolate. Why would we waste our time eating leftover smarties and jolly ranchers? That’s right. We wouldn’t. Here’s to another year without cavities!
Your Boogers Are In The Chicken
This is the kind of thing I say on a regular basis in my house. We stay up way too late. When we stay up way too late, we get silly. When we get silly, we laugh and make jokes. When we laugh and make jokes, we sometimes say hurtful things to each other. When we say hurtful things to each other, one of us storms out of the room like a little bitch. When one of us storms out of the room like a little bitch, the rest of us just laugh harder. Don’t make the rest of us laugh harder. Stop being a cry baby. Put in a tampon and get back in the game. Wait. No. I think I might be mixing up my metaphors with commercials and football pep talking. At any rate, this whole scenario just played out in the living room about 10 minutes ago. Well, not that scenario. That scenario was based on the above chicken and my sister’s birthday present to my son. Cash and a box of Boogers. Leave it to my sister Noelle to find something gross and hilarious. And we keep all our “back-up” candy in the chicken. (That’s the candy that won’t get eaten right away, but we don’t throw out because you never know when you might need some sugar in any form available. You know, stuff like DumDum’s, Smarties, LifeSavers, Cheap Chocolate Coins, etc.) Like my cousin Linda just said to my daughter today, “We are silly people. It’s in our blood.” Yes. Yes we are. But sometimes it can be a curse. Deep sigh. Insert picture of “Boogers” here:
See? It’s my own fault. I am not a strict mom. I make too many jokes and am never serious enough. My kids like to run off the rails with their witty humor and fast comebacks. Because I let them. And they can. They have the good sense of humor that will be a bonus when they are older but can get them in serious trouble right now. And they like to use my own words against me. Usually I can get everybody back on track without a lot of effort. But this time there were too many wheels in the gravel and the cars were piling up behind the engine. Nobody was listening to the engineer. Me. And the only way to get the control back is to pretty much do a “Hancock” and stop that train dead in its tracks. What this means though, is that I have to get angry and abruptly end any kind of night we are having to get my point across and then send everybody off to bed. Unfortunately, just like in the movie it causes a lot of extra damage. Actually now that I’m thinking about it, it is exactly like that. Everybody starts complaining about the way the train was stopped and its like the train is still moving but now its slowly sliding down the side of a cliff into a ravine with a rapid river at the bottom. (Say that five times fast) It’s no good. Then the train falls into the water and lays there, still complaining, filling up and sputtering for air instead of just getting up, saying it’s sorry and being glad we are all still alive. I might have mixed up my metaphors again, but you get the idea. Focus is obviously not my strong point, at least not here, or when I write stuff down. I have lots of thoughts and slow typing fingers. And I can really lose my own track when I get going so I am not surprised that my kids may act the same way on occasion. Especially when it’s late. And they are tired. My kids have these crazy, smart, dazzling personalities that I am so impressed and fascinated by. I want them to have the big life. But sometimes they have got to just stop when I say stop. And that’s where our weak spot is. We don’t have a good switching system in place. We need a better way to flip the switch and change the direction of the train before it crashes into the abyss. We are working on that. Everyone is still in bed and this night is most definitely over, but we are all thinking about it a little more. And since we never end the night on a bad note, because you just never really do know what might happen, here’s another picture of that Booger box:
Picked out especially for you! Maybe tomorrow I better just post a breast cancer thing. I have a store display, so unmagnificent, to put up here, that you will be sorry you wasted any of your valuable computer time clicking over to my site to even look at. But it’s like a train wreck. You have to look. The picture. Not the site. Well, maybe the site too. Come on! What else are you gonna do?? Click. Scan. Move on. Oh, hey, one last stopping-the-train thing. Spider Man 2 has an excellent train stopping scene in it. I was going to use that as my movie reference but it’s not really a “dead stop” and the people are all grateful in the end. Not applicable to my situation. Plus I don’t feel tired after. I am just glad it’s finally quiet. Anyway it’s a good part in the movie. And finally, here’s one more, completely random, and unrelated to any of the above 900 words, picture, of my children doing something together, and in sync (Comma alert! That last sentence may be a record holder for me. Count em’ and weep.) Here’s that pic:
XXL Food on the loose!
For a while there I was putting up a picture of large size food every few weeks. Click over there to the right on “Giant Food” and you can see some of it. Then we stopped going places that serve giant food and I have had to rely on finding an XXL versions of every day ordinary foods to fill up the space. This is not a difficult thing to do. Even though the world is still kind of talking about healthy eating, smaller portions, NOT super sizing anything, you can still find companies to make big food if it will sell. And it does.
I bought this giant Snickers bar for my daughters Christmas stocking. She does like Snickers, but not this much. It was mostly to be funny. Last year we found the giant Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Two cups in a big wrapper that weighted one pound total. It was gross and I do not know why I didn’t take any pictures of it! It’s not like me. And maybe I have a shot somewhere. Since then, I’ve switched computers and some pics are on the new one but a lot are still on the old one. I just started transferring them last night. Anyway, if I find one, I’ll post it. Something to look forward to. But for today. I did take pictures of the Snickers bar and I did record its stats for your enjoyment. Or horror. Some extra info: That is an over-sized dinner plate the bar is sitting on. And it’s been cut already.
First off, it cost $9.99. Ten measly bucks for a diabetic Merry Christmas! It was about 9 inches long, about 2 inches high, give or take for slope, and 3 inches across. Weighing one pound. Not exactly pick it up and take a bite. 16 ounces of chocolate, peanuts, caramel and nougaty tooth decay. The package says to “slice and share” though, NOT to sit on your couch with your favorite movies and a 2 Liter of Pepsi and gnaw on it until it is gone. What would you drink with this? You have to drink something because it’s so sweet and gooey. Water, milk, coffee, beer, wine…hmmm. I personally didn’t eat a flake of that Snickers bar. I’m not really a fan of that particular candy bar. It gets in my teeth and molars and feels like a dentists drill. But, as a family, we tried to destroy it.
Anyway, it says to cut into 9, one inch pieces, at 230 calories per slice. But we’re just gonna go ahead and pretend we ate the whole thing in one sitting. When we wake up at the hospital, this is what we will have done to ourselves:
Eaten a grand total of 2070 calories. Not the most some people have probably eaten in one sitting, but a lot for a “snack”.
99 grams of fat.
225 grams of sugar.
You would be getting some protein, iron and calcium but sheesh, have some yogurt with peanut granola and raisins. Won’t make you vomit after an hour either! These are not outlandish numbers for one meal. If you go to a restaurant and have drinks, it is possible to eat the same amount in numbers as the above, but hopefully you will have spread it out over time and bathroom breaks and dancing or something, I don’t know, along with appetizers and entree’s and desserts and maybe salads and cheeses if you’re fancy. A thick, creamy soup could also help boost your score. But that’s off the point. Here are some comparisons I did just to make it more real and give perspective. I love when they do this on TV and in cooking shows!
This one giant bar is equivalent to eating NINE regular Snickers bars. Nine!
Or eating just over one stick of butter. One whole STICK of butter, plus one more tablespoon.
Or eating 56 sugar cubes. FIFTY-SIX!!
Purely calorie wise, you could eat TWENTY bananas! Or TWENTY packets of plain Instant oatmeal! Or an entire loaf of bread. Or an entire bag of potato chips and still have some calories left to have dip with that!
Obviously I have nothing better to do this Sunday. I put the Nutrition info below too so you can see for yourself and do any math you feel necessary. Or check mine if you like.
I actually do have something to do today. Another family thing. It’s my brother’s birthday next week but we are all gathering today to have drinks and food and pie. It’s not exactly going to be vegetables and salad, but I for one am bringing a tasty snack that uses a Jalapeno pepper as its base. It’s green and has health properties that I am sure counteract the unhealthy aspects that cream cheese, a cocktail weenie, and a bacon wrap bring to the table. I also think there will be a taco dip. That usually has lettuce and tomato sprinkled over the top. That’s halfway to a salad!
Life is a slice of cookies and cream pie with a whiskey chaser. That makes no sense. But that’s life today. And I’m struggling for a good ending here. Pancakes in the morning (with blueberries–that counts as fruit!!) and party food and alcohol in the afternoon. I will be WALKING from the house to the car and back. (Exercise!!) And I plan on lathering my hair extra vigorously in the shower! (Cardio! And an arm workout!) I really need to get going here! Enjoy your Sunday wherever you are! It looks nice outside even if it’s still cold! Get up get out get moving! Later!
And in case you were wondering: We never finished the whole Snickers bar. It got cut up into small pieces, at various times and chewed a bit, but in the end, after about 2 weeks, and a quarter of it leftover, I ended up just throwing it away. Have a great day!
Candy Collecting Sugar Skyline
It’s been a few hours and I think I am recovered now from my earlier attempt at pre-candy calorie control. I managed to crawl my shaky, sweaty body all the way to the couch and stare at the candy for about an hour. Then I got up, took a few puffs from my inhaler, drank some water, took a shower and put on a pair of tight jeans and a few t-shirts. It’s called “layering”. Good for fashion and for lump coverage. I walked around the house and outside, doing little chores and tasks that I like to do when I am avoiding my homework. I cleaned up the yard a bit, filled up the bird feeder, picked some dead flowers, and took some sky pics. The usual. I have resisted eating any of the candy. Hard work and shortness of breath can help you re-prioritze your original plan for the day. That was to get stupid sick on candy and alcohol while NOT doing my social norm assignment. Instead, I now choose to just walk around with my children, enjoying the dropping temperature and pretending to be excited for fun size Snicker bars. I don’t even like Snickers. Gets stuck in my teeth and causes deep dental pain. But that’s just me. The kids are home and getting ready to go. The village says we can only stay out until 6 pm. Halloween stinks on Monday. Most of our neighbors aren’t even home yet and won’t be until later. Usually after the time. I know I never got home until 7. Well, at least it’s not raining and my kids do have very cool costumes this year. If they let me, I’ll take their pics and post them later. MORE exercise! Here I come! I guess I can lay flat all day tomorrow then right? No. I have actually set a goal for myself regarding exercise. The goal is to do two days of exercise in a row. That’s it. TWO days of actual exercise. TWO days, IN A ROW. I get in once a week at best lately and that is not going to cut it if I plan on running that 10K again next May. I barely finished it last year and I cannot repeat that sad event. Freezing cold and hyperventilating, with just enough breath to keep me upright, and fifth from last, is not my idea of success. I need to be at least 20 to 30 people inside the tail end and sprinting, instead of hop-walk-shuffle-staggering to the time strip. Standards, people. I didn’t even get a post race snack because I was so late crossing the finish line. But hey, it wasn’t on the police cart, so, small victories. OK enough. The soldiers are restless and night is falling. To the streets we go. Later.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! Home all day edition!
Well, I seriously thought I would have a job by now! This stinks! BUT…I am still “being actively considered” (thank goodness for that at least) by several hospitals, so I guess I just have to wait. Now that’s a trick! Scary too. I have never been unemployed this long in my whole life! Anyhomeeverydayway….
I spend most of my time on the computer filling out apps, checking sites and reapplying where ever I can. It takes a long time believe it or not, and some of these hospitals have a really complicated application process. We should get points just for filling them out all the way to the end. After staring at the computer screen all day and trying to come up with new ways to write a cover letter or explain (beg) why I want this particular position, I am burnt out and not interested in posting about my failures.
But today is a brand new week. And a brand new month is about to strike. Besides tomorrow is the really scary day. All Saints Day. The spirits get restless and try to walk around. That’s the day to go hang out in the cemetery. Nothing like swirling demons and the undead to occupy your mind and time. Bring them some of that candy, light a candle, say a few words for peace and staying in the grave and carry on. If I’m up top it’s already a good day. So, anyway, I have pictures and other fun stuff like that, that I have been doing when I am not actually sitting on this hard ass bench desperately searching for a way out of my ever increasing depression! Cheery!
Obviously today is Halloween, so that means free candy! My kids are going to suck it up one more year and do the ho stroll for tricks and treats. So in addition to the exercise I am about to go do so I can eat all that candy without guilt, I will be getting additional exercise later walking around gathering more with the children. They are old enough to go on their own and I don’t think they’ll get kidnapped or sex offended but they like for me to go too. And since I have discovered the joy of walking around with a holiday “beverage”, I am happier, the trip is easier, and I stay warmer longer! Winning!
Well I have lots more pictures I will just throw up every few minutes or hours depending on what else I do today. The above picture is from the “Benches” collection that I gather over the summer. They did a special one for Halloween so I captured all the angles and the accompanying decorations in the surrounding area. I will post more in about an hour or so. I have to go do that cardio I was talking about or I can’t eat any more junk. And that would make me even sadder. And we can’t have that. No suicide attempts on Halloween! That sounds like a good book title! Or at least a good headline for my next post. Later.
Speaking of candy
There seems to be a mad love affair going on with the old fashioned wax bottle candy. You know, the ones shaped like bottles that have the colorful, fruity liquid inside them? You can bite off the top, drink the juice and then chew on the wax until it’s gross. Yes, those.
My daughter discovered them by accident at an old fashion type ice cream shop. Besides the wax bottles, they had candy cigarettes and bottle caps and what not, but she honed right in on those wax bottles. We bought her ten. She “ate” one and she was hooked. So we bought her twenty more. In the week between our first purchase and going back for more, they were all gone! A really big jar, sold out! She was crushed. I don’t know what happened in the south suburbs this summer that spurned the love of wax bottles, but we couldn’t find anymore, anywhere, in the area. Ridiculous right?
But you can always count on the internet. There they were. Cases and cases to be bought. Pound after pound. Store after store. We picked the company that didn’t charge more for the shipping than the actual candies, ordered up four pounds of them and hoped for cool weather on the day they were delivered. (They tend to melt in the box if it’s too hot outside and you’re not home)
But we had no problems. When they came I let Stevie open them. Told her we had a special surprise for her since we had bought Mason a bike the week before. (It’s not exactly even reciprocation, but she doesn’t care because those candies are worth more to her than a bike, which she already has anyway) She was thinking she was getting books (Twilight is the current fav and being read right now)…when she saw the candy she almost cried! It was very exciting. She carried them around for awhile in their separate bags, then took them all out and counted them (216), then put them in one big bag, and then finally transferred them all to a shoe box. She tries not to eat too many at a time even though she wants to eat them all.
just shy of pretty 