And Now Back To The Cutting Edge
The butterfly blooms are finally coming in. It’s not just a patch of weeds if flowers are visible and butterflies hover. Looks like I may have sprinkled the seeds pretty evenly this year too. No gaps or thin areas. Texture and color variety. Cutting edge. As promised.
Hot Breaking News From the Suburbs!! Rita Wears Her First Summery Outfit In Years!! Ankles EXPOSED!!
We have photo’s of this magnanimous event! I took the pictures! With my camera! She let me!
It’s true. It’s all true. Rita NEVER wears anything that goes above her elbows or the tops of her shoes. EVER. Heck, she never even wears OPEN toe shoes.
But today, for whatever reason, she showed up, at my house, with a light blouse and jeans on, that were rolled to mid-calf! And cute, little Sketcher shoes with multi-colored bands. They had a closed toe, but they were definitely summery! I am so proud of my mom!
If I can be serious for a minute, this is the first time, as an adult, I think I can remember her exposing her ankles in such a fashion. And, I might add, she looks pretty good! (The skin on her ankles is probably all freaked out though wondering what the hell happened and who dares to parade them around in the daylight!?!)
Enough of my talk talk. This is for my mom. Here’s the shots:
Hot Mama! Looking Good!
There IS death in the cup…Beware!
Death in the cup by way of Vodka and Pepsi. Aren’t I smart?
Had such a good day yesterday, just hanging out at home, and posting silly stuff on the internets, and then I had to go and ruin it by trying to eat myself to death and drinking the vodkas and the pepsi’s.
Seriously, I thought that I would have to go to the hospital. I stuffed every last single piece of pizza into my mouth that I could ferret out of the large pizza box. If you’re hand was anywhere near the zone of the pizza box you would have gotten hurt. Then, I was chugging down Pepsi and Vodka, it was good, better than popsicles and vodka, but even more filling.
By the time I was done sucking every last drop of Pepsi from the 2-liter and picking every crusty olive and onion off the cardboard and watching the last episode of 2½ Men/Season 3 (CLIFF hanger!), I was over. I was paralyzed and in a food coma. Not even a coma, because in a coma I would have been sleeping. This was like being pregnant again. A giant ball in the middle of my stomach that I couldn’t move or manuever with. I wanted to go and make myself throw up just to relieve the pressure, but I couldn’t stand.
And now I was thirsty as hell. The pizza we get has, like, every ingredient you can think of except sardines. So obviously, you can get kind of parched from all the salt. So I tried to sip water, but it was so good and hydrating. Now I’m water-full on top of full-full. I put the kids to bed and laid down. The BF tried to be nice and rub my belly, but I didn’t want anybody or anything touching it.
I was actually thinking about those sitcom shows that have people who eat too much laying around with their shirts up and pants off, moaning and groaning all droopy eyed and turning green and running toward the toilet getting ready to vomit. I felt exactly like that. I even thought, “Hmm, I guess this is an actual reality.” I have never eaten that much in my whole life. Or maybe I have but my stomach is smaller now, it doesn’t really matter, because obviously I didn’t die, but I have made a vow to never eat that much again. Or crap food. I will however, continue to drink vodka with various mixers, it’s not the alcohols fault for cry-yie!
In honor of my new vows to health, I went immediately to the trail after the kids went to school, and ran my still-bloated ass around the track for 3+ miles. It wasn’t pretty. It was hot and I was sweating pizza grease. That IS as gross as it sounds. I think I could smell sausage…YUCK.
I ate one banana so far, and drank a whole pot of coffee. That’s how I de-tox. Do it your way, I’ll do it mine.
It’s 5 pm and I am heading out to buy 2½ Men/ Season 4. Then I’ll be eating Chinese with the BF. (I’ll actually only be eating white rice, but I can smell it and that’s just as good.)
Tomorrow, the BF is off work and I guess we are doing a “spin” class. First time for both of us. That should be fun, she says sarcastically. It always looks hard. Those people are always sweaty and beat looking when it’s over. I’ll let you know.
And in case you were wondering about a weight update…didn’t gain a pound. Didn’t lose anything either, but I think that’s ok. I should have died with all that food I ate, but it didn’t stick. I might not get so lucky next time. Better stay on the safe side. Besides I still have 2 days before the day I deemed my official weigh in. Which will always be 2 days from today…hahaha.
I actually have a playlist to put out, in honor of all the colorful things that would have spilled into the toilet if I had enough nerve to make myself throw up. I don’t. Bulimia is not for me. The list is called,
And it was originally for all those crayons I picked up off the trail a few weeks back. So you decide which personal event in my life you’d like to associate it with. It’s like a mystery ending web post! Exciting!
The picture below is a memory-refresher. Crayons on a table.
The actual list will be posted shortly. Wait for it now, it’s 99 songs long. I went a little crazy with color. You can use it for more than running, or you can use it for a week of running…again…your choice! (“Choose your own ending”, that’s what those books are called)
Enjoy the picture.
Relive the memory of how I got them,
and the memory continues here,
and check back in say, 7 hours. It’s 5:20 now, I have to drive and eat and watch tv, and then type 99 songs in a row and add color and links and finally hit publish. It WILL be worth the wait.
Update!
I actually got 101 songs. Thought of two more typing the list–2 great songs that bring it all together at the end.
And it’s in under the 7-hour mark. Goodnight Chicago.
The Crayon Box
I tried to keep them in magical, Rainbow order. (ROY G BIV +) But mix them up if you like, they get kind of janky toward the end anyway.
1. Lil’ Red Riding Hood / Sam The Sham & The Pharaohs
2. 99 Red Balloons / Nena
3. Red House / Jimi Hendrix
4. Red Hot Java Blues / Matt Hendricks
5. Redneck Woman / Gretchen Wilson
6. I Saw Red / Warrant
7. Little Red Corvette / Prince
8. Red Red Wine / UB40
9. Red House / Buddy Guy
10. 99 Red Balloons / Goldfinger
11. Orange Crush / R.E.M.
12. Orange Amber / The Vines
13. Tequila Sunrise / The Eagles
14. Sunset Grill / Don Henley
15. Amber / 311
16. Mellow Yellow / Donovan
17. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road / Elton John
18. Yellow Submarine / The Beatles
19. Yellow Ledbetter / Pearl Jam
20. Green Cotton Dress / Correatown
21. The Green Manalishi / Judas Priest
22. Pale Green Stars / Everclear
23. Green-Eyed Lady / Sugarloaf
24. See Green, See Blue / Jaymay
25. Blue Sky / The Allman Brothers Band
26. Blue Letter / Fleetwood Mac
27. Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain / Willie Nelson
28. Blue Bayou / Linda Ronstadt
29. Blue Jeans / Silvertide
30. Behind Blue Eyes / The Who
31. Blue Denim / Stevie Nicks
32. Blue Moon / Sha-Na-Na
33. Devil Dressed In Blue / Right Away, Great Captain!
34. Post Blue / Placebo
35. Forever In Blue Jeans / Neil Diamond
36. Devil With The Blue Dress On / Good Golly Miss Molly / Mitch Ryder & The Detroit Wheels
37. True Blue / Madonna
38. Blue Jeans And A Rosary / Kid Rock
39. Blue Suede Shoes / Elvis Presley
40. Suite: Judy Blue Eyes / Crosby, Stills & Nash
41. Blue Shadows / The Blasters
42. Blue Highway / Billy Idol
43. Blue Lamp / Stevie Nicks
44. Gray Or Blue / Jaymay
45. Silver, Blue and Gold / Bad Company
46. Mood Indigo / Nina Simone
47. Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue / Crystal Gayle
48. Violet And Blue / Stevie Nicks
49. Violet / Hole
50. Purple Haze / Jimi Hendrix
51. Purple Rain / Prince
52. Brown Eyed Girl / Van Morrison
53. Brown Eyed Handsome Man / Waylon Jennings
54. Brown Sugar / The Rolling Stones
55. Bad, Bad Leroy Brown / Jim Croce
56. Mr. Brownstone / Guns N’ Roses
57. The Boys Of Summer / Don Henley
58. Brown Eyed Girl / Everclear
59. Back In Black / AC/DC
60. Little Black Backpack / Stroke 9
61. Black On Black / Dalbello
62. Black Hole Sun / Soundgarden
63. Black Magic Woman / Santana
64. Paint It Black / The Rolling Stones
65. Black Betty / Ram Jam
66. Black / Pearl Jam
67. Black Eyed Dog / Nick Drake
68. Welcome To The Black Parade / My Chemical Romance
69. Black Dog / Led Zeppelin
70. Man In Black / Johnny Cash
71. Man In The Long Black Coat / Joan Osborne
72. Long Cool Woman (In A Black Dress) / The Hollies
73. Black Balloon / Goo Goo Dolls
74. Black Is Black / Los Bravos
75. Fell On Black Days / Soundgarden
76. Black Velvet / Alannah Myles
77. Black Horse And The Cherry Tree / KT Tunstall
78. Black Or White / Michael Jackson
79. Black And White Thunderbird / Britt Savage, Fred Mollin And The Blue Sea Band & Jaime Babbitt
80. White Wedding / Billy Idol
81. White Horse / Taylor Swift
82. Dirty White Boy / Foreigner
83. White Flag / Dido
84. Pretty Fly (For A White Guy) / The Offspring
85. White Houses / Vanessa Carlton
86. White & Nerdy / Weird Al Yankovic
87. Silver Springs / Fleetwood Mac
88. Grey / Amie Miriello
89. Pink Houses / John Mellencamp
90. Black & Gold / Sam Sparro
91. Gold / John Stewart
92. Heart Of Gold / Neil Young With The Stray Gators
93. Gold Lion / Yeah Yeah Yeahs
94. Gold And Braid / Stevie Nicks
95. Streets Of Gold / Needtobreathe
96. After The Goldrush / Neil Young
97. Almost Golden / Courtney Love
98. Sister Golden Hair / America
99. Gold Dust Woman / Fleetwood Mac
100. Bold As Love / The Pretenders
101. Karma Chameleon / Culture Club
Running Mild on an equally gorgeous day in Illinois
It’s Friday. If you read my post from Thursday, you’ll remember that I was running wild yesterday. Today, not so much. My playlist:
is awesome. But not enough. The forces of feminine nature are working against me today, and there is no remedy beyond time.
I was stiff and tired and felt heavy and broke down. I trudged along though because of the shining beacon of waxy hope I set up for myself and you, faithful readers: the quest for the crayons!
I started to lose faith somewhere between the 1¾ and 2 mile mark, when suddenly…there it was! The first crayon. A Red one! Non-crayola.
Was I crazy? Was I delusional in the heat yesterday? One stinking red crayon?!? I swear there were 8 or 10 or 12!!
Two miles in, I rationalized that the storm had driven them off the trail and into the side grass and weeds and that was it. Gone forever.
And then, looking like a sign from a bright sun god: Orange and Yellow!
A little further: Blue and Blue and Green. Then Brown all alone. Right in the middle of the path.
Then nothing for a little while. I figured that was it because I couldn’t remember how far along I had seen these crayons.
Just before 2½ miles, I saw one come into my vision. White! (Can’t see the word in the actual color–sorry!) I don’t even remember seeing that one at all.
But, no black. I know I saw it. because I was thinking of the 8-box of Crayola’s and it was the only one missing. (Purple too, but that was obliterated; crushed to waxy shards on the cement, so, sadly, I left it there to die in the sun.)
Oh well. Let’s just finish this damn run so I can go home. I feel like a thousand pounds running in a tornado uphill carrying a backpack full of lead…you know, amusing myself with descriptions of my struggle to survive the wilderness and all that…
I can see the 3½ mark just up ahead. Get ready to kick it up and sprint that last tenth of a mile…here I go…STOP!
There it is!! The Black crayon! It’s only half but who cares?? I was so happy I stopped and picked it up and looked around and probably looked crazy. Crazy girl carrying a plastic sandwich bag filled with broken crayon pieces. I guess I need a hobby, but I’m telling you I felt good and happy, and I got out and exercised so it wasn’t all bad.
Thus concludes my colorful story. You never read such a gripping tale of lost dreams, vanquished hopes, joyful discoveries and ultimate gratification, in life and love and all its mysteries. Inspirational AND inspiring; via the humblest of all school supplies.
And you thought your kids crayons were just for coloring. Picture is below.
Running Wild in Illinois on the Best Day of the Year so Far
I love days like today. They have everything in them.
Sunshine. Blue skies. Cloud scatter. Tight breeze. Ever-so-subtle, atmospheric-scent in the air; And finally, the storm itself.
Moving in fast from the South and darkening and covering the blue with ominous grey and green. We didn’t care because we were already in and done with our day.
I mostly sat around all morning, and after Regis and Kelly (still hooked I’m afraid) I flipped channels and Sweet Home Alabama was on. I don’t care what you say. I’ve seen it 20 times and I’ll see it 20 more. If they show it, I’ll watch it. Cut-up to hell, but I don’t care. It’s too romantic and it spoils real life and love for the rest of us, but we all like to dream.
“Aw hell, nobody finds their true love when they’re 10 anyway”
So then my neighbor came over and asked me to help her move some plant potters and once I got a whiff of that outside I figured I’d better get out and enjoy it before it feels like a wasted day. So I did.
But first, I took a few pictures of her Frankendog. The dog had some surgery (she’s fine–just surface removal) and she looked so funny I thought I’d capture it forever. And of course share with you. Pictures below.
Then I hit the trail. Kind of slow, but at least moving. Listening to The Warrior playlist.
Check it out if you dare. Have to keep motivated. Have to go out and shake it tomorrow too. I am about to do some major damage to my gut this weekend and I need to be pre-prepared.
Friday night’s a free-for-all. Undetermined.
Saturday A.M. The BF’s Mom for breakfast. Saturday P.M. My Mom for Dinner. I’m sure there will be drinking. That’s what gets you is those alcohol calories. To the brain AND the bum.
Sunday A.M. Kids are home and we are going to need lunch. Possibly breakfast. And definitely dinner.
I guess I could show some restraint and just suck it up and eat healthy, but you know, I’m actually drinking right now typing this post and I’d rather just work out extra hard after, than miss something good right now.
Mother’s Day starts tonight for me! Hold up, I have to go fix another drink. brb (ha! NOW I know what that means–only took 6 months to figure that one out)
Ok crisis diverted. Back to the plot. While running I came up with a few ideas. First off, this post. I do my best thinking and pre-writing while I’m running. You might disagree…sister?? Best is questionable if this is the result, but I find it amusing and I’m only slightly buzzed.
Then for a playlist. “Running Wild and Crazy, possibly in the Jungle” I haven’t worked the details out on that yet, but it’s next. Depends on how many “wild” and “crazy” songs there are. So I thought I could throw in the “jungle” for filler. Got a great opener….
This is a funny thing while I was running today. At about the 1 and ¾ mile mark, I started seeing crayons on the ground. You know, Crayola crayons. Just laying there. First a yellow, and orange…a few moments later red and broken blue showed up, then a quarter mile on, here’s purple, brown, green….who’s missing? Oh yeah…black. Nope. Here he is. Made it just under 2 and ¼. Last guy to be dropped out of the box I guess by some poor kid walking around with his parents. I wonder what the thought behind bringing crayons to the Forest Preserve trail was anyhow?
When I go tomorrow, I’m going to pick them up when I see them. Usually stuff is still there after only one day. It did rain, but it was pretty hot during the day and some of them looked like they were melting to the ground when I saw them. Hopefully they won’t un-stick in the night and roll off the path in the morning. If I get them, I’ll post them! Something to look forward too! Hang on for one more day!
And I thought of another playlist–crayons, naturally. Like the colors–red, yellow, orange…etc. I’m working on that too.
After the trail I took the kids to the store. I really DID have a grocery list, although I’m not going to write down what it was.
Ok, ok, just real quick (for Amanda): Card for mom, yogurt, granola, Tums, brussel sprouts, cauliflower, cheese sauce for Stevie’s school movie night, ketchup, Mountain Dew (also for Stevie), hot dogs, hot dog buns, baked beans, a little gifty for my sissy, and four, half-pound each, fat-ass burgers.
Like I said, Mom’s Day is early here.
When we got home, I put the stuff away, packed up Stevie’s stuff for school, and the kids went and played outside for a few.
Mason had bought flower seeds at the store, some Chinese Lanterns, that he thought looked cool, so he and Stevie went and found four different potters to put them in.
Then it conveniently rained, and they came in and watched Family Guy. I know it’s bad and not for kids, but it’s just SO funny. Besides, they learn new stuff. I can’t teach them everything.
With dinner over, my kids got transported to another store by the BF to purchase gifts for myself and the step-mom. After hiding the gifts in a location I must know, so that I don’t go looking there for 3 days, they are sleeping.
I am drinking.
The boyfriend is playing Mafia Wars.
Last game of the night: Lights off and laying down.
I am about to wrap this up with no words of wisdom, no extra pictures and no playlist.
Oh you. You know me too well. Here’s a blue sky–above; a tip–right here: Don’t stand up in a canoe. Don’t do it; And a killer playlist–below:
(It’s “comprehensive”—but please, let me know what possible song did I leave out??)
Give me a devil-horn-hand-gesture and let me pass out. Vodka Rocks! Woo-hoo!
Look, Listen. Key of Green
I originally wanted to start this last Friday, the 13 th, with a bunch of songs that I like on this particular day. I spent a good amount of time compiling this (what I think is cool) list. Treadmill music for me and maybe you. Then….nothing. Couldn’t find a place to put it. Until today. But since one more day won’t really matter…I thought I’d go with some special songs just for today instead!
I’ll get to the 13th list on the 18th.
In the meantime, take a look, listen, let me know what you think and what I missed! Here are songs for today in the “Key of Green!”:
1. Colors / Kira Willey
2. Bold as Love / The Pretenders
3. Colorful / Rocco DeLuca and the Burden
4. The Green Manalishi / Judas Priest
5. Greensleeves / Vanessa Carlton
6. Hitchin’ a Ride / Green Day
7. Fairytale of New York / The Pogues
8. Kodachrome / Paul Simon
9. Paradise City / Guns N Roses
10. Karma Chameleon / Culture Club
11. Green-Eyed Lady / Sugarloaf
12. Leaves That Are Green / Simon & Garfunkel
13. Christmas Day / Dido
14. Lake Shore Drive / Aliotta-Haynes-Jeremiah
15. What’s Your Mama’s Name / Tanya Tucker
16. Somewhere Over The Rainbow / Israel Kamakawiwo’ole
(16 is not really “green“, but it’s a good song and ends the list nicely!)
Thanks to Mason and Stevie for helping me with the list!
just shy of pretty 