There IS death in the cup…Beware!

May 21, 2009 at 5:33 pm (Day to Day) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Death in the cup by way of Vodka and Pepsi. Aren’t I smart?

Had such a good day yesterday, just hanging out at home, and posting silly stuff on the internets, and then I had to go and ruin it by trying to eat myself to death and drinking the vodkas and the pepsi’s.

Seriously, I thought that I would have to go to the hospital. I stuffed every last single piece of pizza into my mouth that I could ferret out of the large pizza box. If you’re hand was anywhere near the zone of the pizza box you would have gotten hurt. Then, I was chugging down Pepsi and Vodka, it was good, better than popsicles and vodka, but even more filling.

By the time I was done sucking every last drop of Pepsi from the 2-liter and picking every crusty olive and onion off the cardboard and watching the last episode of 2½ Men/Season 3 (CLIFF hanger!), I was over. I was paralyzed and in a food coma. Not even a coma, because in a coma I would have been sleeping. This was like being pregnant again. A giant ball in the middle of my stomach that I couldn’t move or manuever with. I wanted to go and make myself throw up just to relieve the pressure, but I couldn’t stand.

And now I was thirsty as hell. The pizza we get has, like, every ingredient you can think of except sardines. So obviously, you can get kind of parched from all the salt. So I tried to sip water, but it was so good and hydrating. Now I’m water-full on top of full-full. I put the kids to bed and laid down. The BF tried to be nice and rub my belly, but I didn’t want anybody or anything touching it.

I was actually thinking about those sitcom shows that have people who eat too much laying around with their shirts up and pants off, moaning and groaning all droopy eyed and turning green and running toward the toilet getting ready to vomit. I felt exactly like that. I even thought, “Hmm, I guess this is an actual reality.” I have never eaten that much in my whole life. Or maybe I have but my stomach is smaller now, it doesn’t really matter, because obviously I didn’t die, but I have made a vow to never eat that much again. Or crap food. I will however, continue to drink vodka with various mixers, it’s not the alcohols fault for cry-yie!

In honor of my new vows to health, I went immediately to the trail after the kids went to school, and ran my still-bloated ass around the track for 3+ miles. It wasn’t pretty. It was hot and I was sweating pizza grease. That IS as gross as it sounds. I think I could smell sausage…YUCK.

I ate one banana so far, and drank a whole pot of coffee. That’s how I de-tox. Do it your way, I’ll do it mine.

It’s 5 pm and I am heading out to buy 2½ Men/ Season 4. Then I’ll be eating Chinese with the BF. (I’ll actually only be eating white rice, but I can smell it and that’s just as good.)

Tomorrow, the BF is off work and I guess we are doing a “spin” class. First time for both of us. That should be fun, she says sarcastically. It always looks hard. Those people are always sweaty and beat looking when it’s over. I’ll let you know.

And in case you were wondering about a weight update…didn’t gain a pound. Didn’t lose anything either, but I think that’s ok. I should have died with all that food I ate, but it didn’t stick. I might not get so lucky next time. Better stay on the safe side. Besides I still have 2 days before the day I deemed my official weigh in. Which will always be 2 days from today…hahaha.

I actually have a playlist to put out, in honor of all the colorful things that would have spilled into the toilet if I had enough nerve to make myself throw up. I don’t. Bulimia is not for me. The list is called,

“The Crayon Box”

And it was originally for all those crayons I picked up off the trail a few weeks back. So you decide which personal event in my life you’d like to associate it with. It’s like a mystery ending web post! Exciting!

The picture below is a memory-refresher. Crayons on a table.

The actual list will be posted shortly. Wait for it now, it’s 99 songs long. I went a little crazy with color. You can use it for more than running, or you can use it for a week of running…again…your choice! (“Choose your own ending”, that’s what those books are called)

Enjoy the picture.

Relive the memory of how I got them,

and the memory continues here,

and check back in say, 7 hours. It’s 5:20 now, I have to drive and eat and watch tv, and then type 99 songs in a row and add color and links and finally hit publish. It WILL be worth the wait.

Update!

I actually got 101 songs. Thought of two more typing the list–2 great songs that bring it all together at the end.

And it’s in under the 7-hour mark. Goodnight Chicago.

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May 21, 2009 at 5:30 pm (Pictures) (, , , )

Top View

Top View

Art View

Art View

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Running Mild on an equally gorgeous day in Illinois

May 8, 2009 at 4:54 pm (Day to Day) (, , , , , , , , )

It’s Friday. If you read my post from Thursday, you’ll remember that I was running wild yesterday. Today, not so much. My playlist:

(Rock & Roll RockStar)

is awesome. But not enough. The forces of feminine nature are working against me today, and there is no remedy beyond time.

I was stiff and tired and felt heavy and broke down. I trudged along though because of the shining beacon of  waxy hope I set up for myself and you, faithful readers:  the quest for the crayons!

I started to lose faith somewhere between  the 1¾ and 2 mile mark, when suddenly…there it was! The first crayon. A Red one! Non-crayola.

Was I crazy? Was I delusional in the heat yesterday? One stinking red crayon?!? I swear there were 8 or 10 or 12!!

Two miles in, I rationalized that the storm had driven them off the trail and into the side grass and weeds and that was it. Gone forever.

And then, looking like a sign from a bright sun god: Orange and Yellow!

A little further: Blue and Blue and Green. Then Brown all alone. Right in the middle of the path.

Then nothing for a little while. I figured that was it because I couldn’t remember how far along I had seen these crayons.

Just before 2½ miles, I saw one come into my vision. White! (Can’t see the word in the actual color–sorry!) I don’t even remember seeing that one at all.

But, no black. I know I saw it. because I was thinking of the 8-box of Crayola’s and it was the only one missing. (Purple too, but that was obliterated; crushed to waxy shards on the cement, so, sadly, I left it there to die in the sun.)

Oh well. Let’s just finish this damn run so I can go home. I feel like a thousand pounds running in a tornado uphill carrying a backpack full of lead…you know, amusing myself with descriptions of my struggle to survive the wilderness and all that…

I can see the 3½ mark just up ahead. Get ready to kick it up and sprint that last tenth of a mile…here I go…STOP!

There it is!! The Black crayon! It’s only half but who cares?? I was so happy I stopped and picked it up and looked around and probably looked crazy. Crazy girl carrying a plastic sandwich bag filled with broken crayon pieces. I guess I need a hobby, but I’m telling you I felt good and happy, and I got out and exercised so it wasn’t all bad.

Thus concludes my colorful story. You never read such a gripping tale of lost dreams, vanquished hopes, joyful discoveries and ultimate gratification, in life and love and all its mysteries. Inspirational AND inspiring; via the humblest of all school supplies.

And you thought your kids crayons were just for coloring. Picture is below.

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May 8, 2009 at 4:49 pm (Pictures, Random Images) (, , )

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Running Wild in Illinois on the Best Day of the Year so Far

May 8, 2009 at 2:03 am (Day to Day) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

I love days like today. They have everything in them.

Sunshine. Blue skies. Cloud scatter. Tight breeze. Ever-so-subtle, atmospheric-scent in the air; And finally, the storm itself.

Moving in fast from the South and darkening and covering the blue with ominous grey and green. We didn’t care because we were already in and done with our day.

I mostly sat around all morning, and after Regis and Kelly (still hooked I’m afraid) I flipped channels and Sweet Home Alabama was on. I don’t care what you say. I’ve seen it 20 times and I’ll see it 20 more. If they show it, I’ll watch it. Cut-up to hell, but I don’t care. It’s too romantic and it spoils real life and love for the rest of us, but we all like to dream.

“Aw hell, nobody finds their true love when they’re 10 anyway”

So then my neighbor came over and asked me to help her move some plant potters and once I got a whiff of that outside I figured I’d better get out and enjoy it before it feels like a wasted day. So I did.

But first, I took a few pictures of her Frankendog. The dog had some surgery (she’s fine–just surface removal) and she looked so funny I thought I’d capture it forever. And of course share with you. Pictures below.

Then I hit the trail. Kind of slow, but at least moving. Listening to The Warrior playlist.

(Part 1)

(Part 2)

Check it out if you dare. Have to keep motivated. Have to go out and shake it tomorrow too. I am about to do some major damage to my gut this weekend and I need to be pre-prepared.

Friday night’s a free-for-all. Undetermined.

Saturday A.M. The BF’s Mom for breakfast. Saturday P.M. My Mom for Dinner. I’m sure there will be drinking. That’s what gets you is those alcohol calories. To the brain AND the bum.

Sunday A.M. Kids are home and we are going to need lunch. Possibly breakfast. And definitely dinner.

I guess I could show some restraint and just suck it up and eat healthy, but you know, I’m actually drinking right now typing this post and I’d rather just work out extra hard after, than miss something good right now.

Mother’s Day starts tonight for me! Hold up, I have to go fix another drink. brb (ha! NOW I know what that means–only took 6 months to figure that one out)

Ok crisis diverted. Back to the plot. While running I came up with a few ideas. First off, this post. I do my best thinking and pre-writing while I’m running. You might disagree…sister?? Best is questionable if this is the result, but I find it amusing and I’m only slightly buzzed.

Then for a playlist. “Running Wild and Crazy, possibly in the Jungle”  I haven’t worked the details out on that yet, but it’s next. Depends on how many “wild” and “crazy” songs there are. So I thought I could throw in the “jungle” for filler. Got a great opener….

This is a funny thing while I was running today. At about the 1 and ¾ mile mark, I started seeing crayons on the ground. You know, Crayola crayons. Just laying there. First a yellow, and orange…a few moments later red and broken blue  showed up, then a quarter mile on, here’s purple, brown, green….who’s missing? Oh yeah…black. Nope. Here he is.  Made it just under 2 and ¼. Last guy to be dropped out of the box I guess by some poor kid walking around with his parents. I wonder what the thought behind bringing crayons to the Forest Preserve trail was anyhow?

When I go tomorrow, I’m going to pick them up when I see them. Usually stuff is still there after only one day. It did rain, but it was pretty hot during the day and some of them looked like they were melting to the ground when I saw them. Hopefully they won’t un-stick in the night and roll off the path in the morning. If I get them, I’ll post them! Something to look forward too! Hang on for one more day!

And I thought of another playlist–crayons, naturally. Like the colors–red, yellow, orange…etc. I’m working on that too.

After the trail I took the kids to the store. I really DID have a grocery list, although I’m not going to write down what it was.

Ok, ok,  just real quick (for Amanda): Card for mom, yogurt, granola, Tums, brussel sprouts, cauliflower, cheese sauce for Stevie’s school movie night, ketchup, Mountain Dew (also for Stevie), hot dogs, hot dog buns, baked beans, a little gifty for my sissy, and four, half-pound each, fat-ass burgers.

Like I said, Mom’s Day is early here.

When we got home, I put the stuff away, packed up Stevie’s stuff for school, and the kids went and played outside for a few.

Mason had bought flower seeds at the store, some Chinese Lanterns, that he thought looked cool, so he and Stevie went and found four different potters to put them in.

Then it conveniently rained, and they came in and watched Family Guy. I know it’s bad and not for kids, but it’s just SO funny. Besides, they learn new stuff.  I can’t teach them everything.

With dinner over, my kids got transported to another store by the BF  to purchase gifts for myself and the step-mom. After hiding the gifts in a location I must know, so that I don’t go looking there for 3 days, they are sleeping.

I am drinking.

The boyfriend is playing Mafia Wars.

Last game of the night: Lights off and laying down.

I am about to wrap this up with no words of wisdom, no extra pictures and no playlist.

Oh you. You know me too well. Here’s a blue sky–above;  a tip–right here: Don’t stand up in a canoe. Don’t do it;   And a killer playlist–below:

(It’s “comprehensive”—but please, let me know what possible song did I leave out??)

“Rock & Roll RockStar”

Give me a devil-horn-hand-gesture and let me pass out. Vodka Rocks! Woo-hoo!

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