Second Nursing Book Ya’ll!!!
Here it is my second week into the “program”, and I have my second book!! Maybe not everyone is excited about spending money for books and school, but I am just excited as Hell!
I don’t mean to say that the money doesn’t give me a heart attack, because it does—these books ARE NOT cheap. BUT, they say you use them for 2 years and you will continue to use them throughout your life, so I say it’s a worthy investment in MY future. And yours too, actually.You WANT me to be smart and up to date right?? No one wants to be at the hospital getting procedures done in garden gloves using a pen case.
I don’t want to go on and on, and soon I won’t have the time for it anyhow…but I am really happy for the opportunity I am about to embark on…learning to give YOU an enema! And, you, a Catheter! I will be begging for the days of sponge baths and linen changes!
The book I just bought is Basic Nursing. It’s exciting and scary at the same time. I know I keep using that word…Exciting! I am anxious to learn but a bit nervous too. I love flipping through the text, and imagining how much more I’ll know in 6 months. And then how much MORE in the next 6. And in 6 after that…It’s cool, and I’m ready. The book is here next to me, just like the first, and I guess it really won’t EVER be leaving my side. (One more time…exciting! That will be the last for today, I promise–here, anyway)
But I have alot more to do today. So, changing tracks…I have to go get groceries…woohoo…for you sissy…I’ll spare ya’ the list though.
As some of you may or may not know, we’re having a grad party here Saturday for my niece. 8th grade! High school is next. Party is here and I need some stuff, plus the kids have just 3 stinking days left of school, but I’m out of lunch material…so close.
I need to exercise sometime…still have training to do and that whole 20 pound thing I set for myself…plus I need to modify my diet for fatness, sickness and zitty rashness. Let me explain. The fatness, pretty much is what it says. Cut out the foods that are making me fat, I’m talking to you Fuddruckers and Pizza—adds pounds AND as a bonus that apparently comes with the new age bracket I’m about to enter…these foods make me SICK. Literally. Heartburn, indigestion, sweaty, crampy, bloaty, gassy, dizzy and nauseous. I WISH I was exaggerating. I NEVER used to get sick from food or have heartburn or gas or any of that, and I was pregnant twice with no ill effects (believe me, I know how lucky I was).
For a laugh–now–check this post out–yuk. Never doing that again!!
The last part is this new zitty rashy thing I have going, but just sometimes. I noticed it after I switched my diet from regular fast food/junk to Body For Life. Healthy, carb-protein balance, whole grains, low-fat, etc…Lost the weight but gained a red, rashy, itchy area on my face. Looks like acne accelerated. Never had a problem before. I narrowed it down to wheat products. Not severe or anything, but just annoying enough that I knew something was up. Extreme Fat Smash really zeroed in on the prob. Follow it exactly and it’s mostly vegetarian. Salad, Yogurt, Beans and RICE. That’s key. I have no trouble with rice, it’s the bread, pasta, cracker, wheat/flour based stuff that seems to give me the itches. So, long story longer. I am in my second day of trying to avoid ALL wheat products to eat. So far, so good. It’s harder than you think. I can get away with, like one sandwich, or one thing like pizza crust, but after that, the area right around my nostril starts itching and then right along my frown lines—for reference–I really don’t HAVE wrinkles and lines and all that—wimper–that’s just where the itching would be…oh forget it…you know, it itches and gets red and it looks like I have a rash around my mouth area on the cheeks. I’ve eliminated topical things like makeup and soap. Same products for years no change. It has to be the food. So big whoop anyway. I don’t need to eat all that stuff. It’s too many calories, and as we all know (see above) I don’t know when to stop!
My sympathies and extreme RESPECT to all you moms or dads or brothers/sisters/grands/selves…whoever…who HAVE to be so cautious and avoid even specks of wheat or it could be illness for weeks or death. You have a hard path to follow and one day I hope it won’t be an issue anymore for anyone. It’s just amazing that food for life can be inherently threatening. And all I’m worried about is a rash.
Anyway, my point was to be funny and end on the note that while I was typing this I was eating my weight in scrambled eggs. Just eggs and milk in butter with a little cheese. I add all the ingredients so I know what’s in it. And now I have to go work it off. (At the store–remember about 5 paragraphs ago?–I talk way too much)
So that’s it, let me get out before the kids come home. I’m sure something MORE boring and mind-numbing will occur and I can spend another hour typing later. Just you wait!
Meanwhile, enjoy these pictures of a Bulldog they had at the pet store. If we were going to get a dog, this breed was the one we all unanimously agreed on. And here was one for sale! Impulse purchase! I told my son, if this particular dog was UNDER $1000, I would buy him on the spot. I don’t know why. Can’t afford it, don’t want to train it, but I felt at that moment I would. I would do everything that I had to….they must have been pumping something into the air that day…but we checked and ultimately went home empty handed. Hopefully someone with more disposable income gave him a home. He really was adorable.
And fyi–You know I’m gonna tell you—that dog cost $3299. Yes. THREE THOUSAND, three hundred.
Ass Water, Slyder and Freddy. I hate when nights end like this!
How DO some people get their cute little nicknames?
Take two parts alcohol, a late running party, one over-tired kid, and a bag of BK cheeseburgers. Fold in one ingredient after another and try to have an innocent conversation. Then mishear one word and suddenly everyone has a new nickname and the night has taken a seriously wrong turn.
It probably won’t SEEM funny typed out here…and I’m sure my sister will be calling any second to tell me how NOT funny I am, but let’s try!
Sissy and hubby come home from party I babysat for with BF and kids. Girl is sleeping. Boy is ready to go. I say, “Ready Freddy?” He says, “Who’s Freddy?” My sissy says, “You now. We’re going to start calling you Freddy…hahahaha…”
Lots of laughs, extra jokes, T-shirts will be made…the whole thing.
As we are leaving, my boy says, “Bye Aunty Amanda” My sister hears, “Bye Aunty Enema” “What? What did you say? Did you say enema?” Laughing of course, because it’s funny. And it did sound like that. We all make a joke about enemas…and my son says, “What’s an enema?” We basically fall over each other to tell him, water up the butt.
“You just called Aunty the water you put up your ass”
Yes, here it comes. Are you laughing? “You just called Aunty ‘Ass Water’ ”
That WAS funny. We all laughed, and I said that would be her new nickname. We could put that on a shirt.
The hubby already had the Slyder nickname from a motorcycle mishap early in his riding career. The “Y” just adds that extra level of cool.
The BF pointed out that the three names makes an excellent group together. And here’s where you all came in, hence the headline. Sounds…intriguing, does it not? Are you side-splitting? Pictures might help.
Then my son expanded it out, so he could say it without getting in trouble, to “Aunty Ass (as in donkey) Water” It still got the laughs, but by then the booze was wearing off, and we had an hour to drive. Another family memory noted in our collective books and saved here forever on the internets.
Was it as good for you as it was for us?? Yeah right. I recommend pouring yourself a LARGE shot of Vodka (or whatever liquor floats the boat), and then RE-READ. Is it funny now? No? Repeat above step until it is! Then you can drunk-type me with YOUR new nickname and I PROMISE, I WILL laugh!! Swear.
Get to bed. School and work people. We’ll have fun after that! See you tomorrow. Love you Ass Water…I mean, Amanda. Goodnight!
Picture of a random cool car to distract from all the WORDS.
I think it’s a Camaro, but I can’t be sure. I heard it, aimed the phone in that direction, and this is what I got.
Street Money Update! Euro Version!
We have a new exciting feature to add to our Street Money Update! Euro Vision!
The kids and I are just buying crap at the CVS today and there they were: Penny, penny, penny, penny, penny, and penny!
Upon closer exam, one of these so-called “pennies” was actually a 2¢ Euro! Surprise, surprise. Really. We don’t have the kind of CVS that lends itself to Euro’s just getting dropped all over the ground. Canadian money maybe but not the fancy European kind…we ain’t that cosmopolitan.
Anyhoo, it’s June 1 and I can’t really count it in the regular tally, so I just added the Euro category. Right next to the American.
I’m actually really surprised we haven’t found one Canadian coin all year…we usually do by now.
Come on Canada! Step it up! Get down here and drop some coins in my neighborhood! We’re counting on you!
Let’s see how International we can get by the end of the year! A challenge!
Come on World! Get over to Illinois! We need your loose change!
Street Money Update! American Style
Four cents! Four not-shiny pennies.
I think we found three of them shopping, in various store parking lots. Let’s say, Kohl’s, PetLand and Caribou Coffee.
Then we found one at Fuddrucker’s. (Oh the horrible memories…Nachos…cheese…deliciousness…home…heartburn…cramping….non-digesting…near vomiting…never again…) There’s one more thing added to my list of things to NEVER eat again.
Anyway, back to the point. Four cents! Add it up. Brings us to….
NOT the Monarchs…
After some extensive research across the internets I have discovered we do NOT have Monarch Butterfly Caterpillars.
What we have are Mourning Cloak Butterfly Caterpillars. Still VERY exciting. AND…I think, prettier than the Monarch.
Check out the blue dots! Tres chic!
That would be post-metamorphisis…the caterpillar itself is HORROR movie! Spiky! Hairy! Cree–eepy!
The new family is resting safely at the neighbors house where all the ensuing action will take place. Apparently these are quite common around here and they should eat for two weeks or so, create their chrysalis, and in 10-15 days emerge, and take off into the sunshine.
Wish our little pupa’s luck!
Learning all kinds of new tricks!
I know I’ve been doing this about 4 months now, but I need LOTS of time to learn, use, embrace, cherish and share the technology I come across. Most things, almost everyone that can work a mouse, already knows, but I have been blind to. Ah, regrets.
Anyway, I’ve been off a few days putting out fires…THAT I STARTED!! Lesson to self…STOP BURNING SH*T!! But I think everything is OK now. Now I can get back to boring my very limited audience in all the mundane, stupid things I do all day, every day. Lucky.
Today I: (sister style) (please check back later for a post explaining her newly acquired nickname—see if you can figure out which one it is!—we had FUN over the weekend!!)
1. Checked E-mail.
2. Paid some bills.
3. Balanced checkbooks.
4. Went to doctor. (First of my physical exams/tests/etc…that I need for school!! Went smooth! Accomplished much. Yay! Love helping other people….hate going to the doc myself.)
5. Went to final Honor Roll Assembly for year at kids school. (Missed Stevie’s[10:15 am], made Mason’s[1:30 pm]. Actually almost didn’t make it to the later one because there was a scuffle at the bank I stopped at to deposit a check. Crazy. I was soooo sorry I sent my check up that little tube and was stuck sitting there waiting for my stuff. This was outside too! I thought for sure cops were going to pull up any minute…anyway, I got to leave after like 10 minutes so I have to check the news later and see if anything went down…)
Oh yeah…and the kids both got High Honors AND medals for having High Honors all year, every semester. Plus Perfect Attendence. Good job guys!!!
6. Mailed bills.
7. Picked up kids.
8. Went over to BF’s Mom’s to take out garbage and what not…(she had minor foot surgery in case you forgot–she’s ok).
9. Went to CVS. (Snacks—starving!! Didn’t want to eat in case I needed fasting blood work, and then kind of ran out of time–bought really healthy stuff like Trail Mix, but actually ate Cheese Puffs…staying on the track ain’t easy…)(Also, check back for another, later post about the huge mistake I made at the Fuddrucker’s eating Establishment…wasn’t quite “eating-until-I-die”…but it wasn’t the “healthiest choice” (even though I thought it might be at the time) either.).
(What’s up with all these parenthesis and periods??)
10. Typing now, while kids are outside traumatizing innocent catepillars just trying to metamorphisize into beautiful butterflies. They just came flying into the house (the kids) to tell me that, “There are five, OMG, five MOMMY!!! Monarchs!!”
“Do we have a container to put them in?”
“Do we have a new sponge to make them food?”
Apparently, caterpillar diet is the naturally occuring, sugar-water-on-a-cut-up-sponge.
“No, mom, that’s just what we fed them in class.” Oh. Never raised butterflies at school. I missed out.
OMG!! For real….I have been SUCKED in! My neighbor and the kids are creating a caterpillar nursery in a milk jug and sponges and sugar water and sticks and nets for cocoons…and they really are so interesting and creepy at the same time. There are 8 so far that are crawling all over the ground between our two houses. NEW UPDATE: just in the last 5 minutes: There are 11 now. Eleven orphan caterpillars.
I have to go look up caterpillar/butterfly care/housing on the internet RIGHT NOW! But I’ll be back later. Here’s the first pics of our new family below.
I’m also going to post a YouTube video–my original intent—Video Remake/Bonnie Tyler/Total Eclipse of the Heart (one of my favs as you know if you’ve been reading any of my music lists). Re-done, funny and clever!—that’s after the Nursery pics!
Enjoy a song while you wait for more updates!
just shy of pretty 