What’s that old saying? Feed a fever and starve a fat cell?
So hungry!! Why is food so tasty?? FYI, I am not eating that right now. That was last week. When I was unhealthy. Remember? I talked about finding the giant chip? Well, that’s it. I put it next to the remote for perspective. And that’s the 16 oz. dip container. Which I threw out yesterday because it does not need to be in the house anymore. I am trying to be good. So far, I am averaging out to about 1500-2000 cals a day. Which I also already said, but thought I would say again so I can lead into the whole starving myself thing. In the days leading up to my big interview (No call at all today. Is that Friday the 13th good luck or bad luck? We’ll never know) I tried to drink buckets of water and eat minimal food quantities. Well that plan backfired on Wednesday because I felt sick as a dog when I finally did eat. I was so hungry that as soon as I started eating some food my stomach cramped and I thought I was going to throw up. Plus I had a raging, pounding, piercing headache because I drank coffee in the afternoon like a dumb ass. I have been trying to limit my coffee drinking to about noon. I have been getting heartburn and headaches if I try and drink it all through the day like I used to. At one point I was even drinking it on the ride home from work at 5 and 6 at night. That’s crazy right? Anyway, I notice it more now, especially if I stop for awhile in the morning, like to exercise or shower, or drink more water and eat. If I try to have coffee on an empty exercised and watered stomach in the afternoon, I feel like someone is trying to stab me in the head with a knife. That’s probably NOT a good thing. So that’s one more thing to add to the “old” list.
Anyway, that’s it really. Just wanted to talk about the correlation between food and exercise. Definitely works better and delivers more results if you do both. Eat the healthy way. And in evenly spaced increments. No starvation tactics. And exercise every day. 30 minutes plus, if you can. I also needed an excuse to post these potato chip pictures. The other one is below. The giant potato chip is sitting over the top of the dip container! We are the party people. Dinner is on the way so I gotta go, but keep reading if you haven’t today and find a related post below that! Eating less+ exercise = Bones! Later!
BREAKING NEWS! Did any of you guys know that there are bones UNDER your skin??
Sorry if I alarmed you with my punctuated and capitalized headline. This is supposed to be a funny site. If you build it, they will come. More like if you wish for it in one hand, and **BLEEP** in the other…
Yes, already off topic, funny site, although you really couldn’t tell from the last few days or weeks. I still haven’t heard anything about that job, so let’s just get that right out of the way first. Maybe later. Maybe Monday. It’s frustrating and nerve wracking. I mean I can take rejection. That’s one of the reasons I post here. Nobody would pay for this, (I’ve tried—although I might be better at it now, and I should try again) so I just give it away for free. Besides it makes me feel better. Free psych sessions courtesy of the internet. Put it out there and it can’t bother you anymore! Anyway, like I was saying, I can take rejection. I am all for the school of “rip it off fast.” You know, the whole band-aid metaphor. Give me the bad news. Or the good news. Then we can start making plans for the next thing. But it’s the waiting that kills me every time. So, nothing there yet.
As for these, so called, bones, I am happy and surprised to see that, 1.) Most of mine are still nestled safe and secure under the layer of “thick” skin I posses and cultivate all over my body. And 2.) A few of them are trying to surface for air. As I stepped out of the shower and started combing the rat’s nest on my head that I refer to as my hair (although my mom will, definitely and loudly, stick with the “rat’s nest” description. Or, maybe not a whole nest. Perhaps just a slightly built nest. But I digress.) Anyway, I noticed as I was moving my arm up and down I could see this sort of, roundness and pointiness, at my shoulder level. As I investigated further, I recognized that it was my long lost shoulder muscle and the end part of my collarbone. The parts that give you the look of having a “ball” on the top of your arm and a bone that kind of sits on top. I also noticed my collarbones are trying to make their way out from under my neck fat. Nice image! But there it is.
Again, I was going to give up and NOT exercise today because I hate it. And I want to sit on my butt and feel sorry for myself. I don’t want to listen to a cheery girl tell me to “give it all I got.” I got nothing. So I forced myself to get up and just start. I told myself I could always do it half-assed or quit altogether. I did not wear anything good or even put on shoes. The funny thing was, it did feel like crap at first, no lie, but then it felt good and I felt less bad. So I finished Miss Firm, did some extra ab stuff and some girl push-ups (I had too. The man ones are making me feel like a weakling, the count is still under “1”), took a shower and was amazed to notice these extra bumps trying to make space on my body. It’s subtle, to be sure. No Miss Universe contests just yet. But it made me feel really good that after only 5 days, I can still snap back to even a small semblance of good health and shape. My years are numbered here and I have got to just stay at a livable place, so I don’t have to keep re-building the boat every time I go out onto the water. That’s some kind of mixed metaphor or something, but I like the way it sounds so it stays in without editing.
That makes Day 5 of exercise. In a row. In case you missed that count. And Work Out 2, of the Firm’s, “see results in 10 workouts” sticker promise. I have low hopes for tomorrow. It’s Saturday and we have plans. Bowling starts again and there are things to be done, but maybe if I plan it right, I can keep the pace. Gotta keep the ship sealed tight if you don’t want any leaks. Rump frump frump. That’s supposed to be like a stodgy man giving you the business. Huuh-rumph! Later.
One winter snow storm, after weeks of unseasonably and globally warming temperatures, delivered as predicted!
No snow pictures yet. Maybe tomorrow. Please enjoy this decoration from the kids winter band program.
As for that snow prediction, you can thank me. Or blame me. Or call me a witch. I predicted this days and days ago. I told everyone who would listen that there will not be any snowfall, no matter what the news says, until the day I get called for an interview. I haven’t had one really important place to travel to for months. No place to go that would really matter if I couldn’t make it for any reason. I said the day that I have to go on my first job interview will be the day the snow comes to call on our humble community. Welp…they called me last Thursday to set me up for today at 9am and the weather men started predicting, “Snow Watch! Doom! 2012!” on Monday. It never fails. Monday Tuesday Wednesday, 50, balmy, sunny…Thursday: RAIN! SLEET! ICE! SNOW!! Turn off the lights. Lock your doors. Leave town. Buy all the supplies at the CVS. You can NOT escape SNOW in the Midwest in the WINTER! Seriously. I had to go to the CVS to get toilet paper and I kid you not, the cold case was completely empty. No milk, no eggs, no meats, butters, etc. And alot of the shelves looked all bare and picked over. Scary.
As for me, I really did have an interview today and I really did drive in the snow. But it was only going home. To make a boring story even less anticlimactic, it was just starting to mist a bit on the way in and it was lightly flaking when I left. However, as I got closer to home and side tracked towards my mom’s house in Beecher, which is more south than me, it really was coming down thick and wet and sticky. (I had also gotten another call from another place and I had to go fill out an app. Maybe two’s the charm?? We’ll see…) Then I decided to go see my mom. Cause I’m cool like that. And she did not disappoint.
I’m already feeling down in the dumps because of the weight issues, the job issues, the general lack of a life issues, and the fact that even though I think my interview went well, and I brought in all of the info that they asked for, and I got a mini tour of the place in addition to meeting HR and the managers, they still just thanked me for coming in and told me they would call or e-mail. I guess that’s how it goes, but I don’t know. I hate to jinx it by saying anything but I figure it’s after the fact so it probably doesn’t matter. And even though my mom knows all these things, because she read my last few posts, the first thing she said to me, the very first thing, and I am not exaggerating in any way, shape or form, when I walked into her house was, “Oh! You should have put your hair up instead of wearing it down like that. Oh it looks so messy! Pulled back would have been so much better!” And she made some hand gestures while pulling on her frosted scrags. Really mom?
Don’t worry, I said that right to her face. I even told her I was gonna write about our little visit. (Hi Mom! Hope that internet is back up and running so you can read this!) I even wrote down all the other gems she had to share with me because I didn’t want to deprive any of you, especially my sissy Amanda, of my mother’s supreme hilarity and lack of tact. I guess technically, her other comments were meant to be nice. But, well, I’ll let you guys judge that.
Let me just get my notes here. Ok. After she criticized my hair and made us coffee and put out some cookies, we tried to get her computer to work. No luck. As we sat down at the kitchen table, my mom picked up the cookies and said, “You probably don’t want these right? I’ll put them away to make it less tempting.” She had been reading my posts so she knew I probably wouldn’t want them but it was the only snack she had that goes with coffee. Then she said, kind of off-handed, “I expected you to be bigger.” I said, “What? What do you mean?”
“Oh well, the way you made it sound I expected you would come lumbering into my house looking like a big stuffed elephant like you put on your website. I was wondering, ‘how much weight did you gain in the last month?’ I mean, I just saw you.” While she’s telling me this she is also gesturing with her hands and kind of holding them out in front of her to indicate how “stuffed” she expected me to be. And she went on, “I would say you’re not like an elephant. More like a baby moose.”
Uh huh. I said, “Well geez mom, thanks. We were just at Cabela’s and the moose they had there was actually bigger than the elephant. So thanks a lot. I’m as big as a moose. That’s much better.”
Bring it home mom: “No, I said a baby moose.” Just holding her coffee cup, sitting across from me, drinking and comparing me to the wildlife. I stared at her for what seemed like a minute, and I really don’t remember if I was actually thinking anything. But for some reason when my mom says stuff like that it just makes me burst into laughter. I guess maybe because I never expect it. So I laughed and I said that I am writing all of this down so I don’t forget and I thanked her for giving me my next article here. Cause really, let’s face it now, some of these posts are turning into mini-novels already.
But back to Rita. She said, “See? What would you do if I didn’t give you something to write about?” Hmm. I just don’t know.
So that’s my mish mash story for today. Haven’t heard anything back from the interview. So I wait. I felt so bad I wasn’t even going to go exercise, which is exactly the time I should go. Thanks to a movie due back to the video store today, my unwillingness to drive on the unplowed streets where I live, and the fact that my daughter suggested it to begin with, we were able to sneak in almost an hour of walking, about 1.7 miles, in unshoveled snow. It’s like walking on sand, but in boots and jeans and coats and hats and gloves. It was actually quite fun and a pretty good work out. My legs were burning! And my calves are sore. But that makes FOUR days in a row. Now I need to go to bed because I am tired from the stress of worrying about everything and nothing.
I’ll throw in another animal shot to keep things even. I think they’re bucks, not moose, but you get the idea. And for those keeping count, my push up total still stands at about half of one. BUT, I was able to hover above the ground, in the down position for much longer than yesterday before my chubby gut hit the floor. Then I pushed myself back up and called it “one.” Have a good night.
just shy of pretty 