Stevie’s Joke of the Day! Double Fun!! Quadruple Improvements!!!!
That headline is no joke. I have made a break through on this new computer and I feel like I have won the lottery! Besides the hilarious jokes I am about to unleash upon you unsuspecting readers, I have uncovered the elusive mystery of the Windows Photo Gallery editing secrets. You will all be thanking me now! Mere hours ago that picture above would have had a giant arm in it because ever since we got the new computer (with the 2010 Microsoft Word program, which is also awesome!! Seriously. I was a die hard lover of 2007. Seemless transition, more options, excellent results in all my papers. Speaking of which…I have again successfully done every pointless, time-wasting activity I could do today in order to not have completed my school assignment. If only I could find some magic editing button/function to type these damn papers for me…what was I interrupting again with extra random thoughts?? Oh yeah…) I have been unable to figure out how to crop a picture or alter it in any way. This has distressed me greatly. But. No more! I have the key to the kingdom now! And it’s even cooler than you can imagine. It not only crops but it can add effects, change the colors, tone it up, tone it down, make it brighter, unblur it…(I hope unblur it, because in my attempts at framing the perfect shots, because I was unable to crop or fix a pic, they don’t always come out clear and sharp as they appear in my camera screen. OMG, I can go on an on about nothing.)
Paragraph. For all your trouble you can have two hilarious jokes today. And they go with the picture! That’s the double fun. Those jokes, plus my ability to now use newer technology AND find a reason to use that picture of the glass duck is the quadruple improvement part. Lucky day! Now if only I could get this paper done. Time is a ticking. Laugh at this (with title credits–who told it, who laughed hardest):
1. Three guys walked into a bar. The fourth guy ducked. (Mason, nobody. No one ever gets this joke. Think about it…..)
2. Why didn’t the hen cross the road? Because she was too chicken. (Stevie, Mason. I admit I didn’t really get this one. The kids thought it was really funny and tried to explain why, but I think it might be a Jr. High thing.)
The Bonus Joke. For reading all the way to here, and because I made this one up and the kids laughed so I’m throwing it in the ring as a freebie:
Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wasn’t a chicken.
Feel free to share the love. These jokes are feathered gold. Sure to quack you up. I will stop now.
Cheap Red Wine Update!!
For those of you who might not read the comments. Although for my site, you really should read them. First of all, there’s hardly any. Second of all, IF an article even HAS a comment, most likely it is: 1. Very Important. 2. Very Hilarious. 3. From my sister, which is why it would BE #2. Or 4. From my mother. And don’t you want to see what a big time blogger like me gets scolded about publicly from her mommy?? Moving on…
My sister has replied to my plea about the carton of wine. And these are the real deals:
NOT bought at Walgreen’s. Was in fact, bought at JEWEL. So sorry for all of those I misled, thinking you could just run down to the corner drug store and pick up good, cheap wine that will actually get you buzzed. You’re gonna have to haul your lazy butt’s a few more miles to the closest Jewel store. Where they will have an alcohol section and most likely someone that knows it’s the good stuff, so bring I.D. We don’t promote underage drinking here. Seriously. Alcohol isn’t THAT great. Believe me you can wait until you are 21. You won’t be missing anything.
Next up…it WAS $5!! I figured it had to be close. I’ve purchased full size bottled wines for the same price that weren’t nearly as good.
And…my sister says they have other flavors! Well, alright! I’d say next trip I make to the grocery store I will go check that out.
In the name of really knowing how to waste some study time here, descriptive terminology, and reading the little box before I threw it out last night, I thought I would tell you how the winemaker explains the way it tastes. It reads much more professional than my words, but I’m not always sure I know exactly what some of these flavors and aromas are. This is an equal opportunity site though, so judge for yourself.
The wine company first describes the company and carton itself before the actual wine enclosed inside: Vendange Wine Cellars have a “passion for crafting approachable wines with true varietal character for everyday enjoyment” and this tradition continues with the “exciting new package that offers the ultimate in freshness and convenience.” Already sounds pretty good huh? Although I did say that yesterday, before reading this. It is convienient and it does stay delicious. Although my package did not last beyond 4 hours or so.
This is the wine: “Satisfyingly robust with notes of black cherry and toasted oak. Enjoy!” Now I wish I had read this first so that I could try and identify those notes.
I hope this helps round out my review now. Tasty cherry and oak notes via the vineyard, and a two-thumbs up, “Wine. Good.”, from the drinker. (Drinkers…the BF said it was “good” too.) We can all agree on the “Enjoy!” part. Thanks sissy!
just shy of pretty 