How are you celebrating Mark Buehrle Day in Illinois? Amanda?? I’m talking to YOU!
I got my ABC News picture right there, above these words. I just finished painting on my Buehrle-56-Total-Body-Art-For-One tattoo kit. I’m currently making myself a Mark Buehrle FastBall (9 shots of vodka lined up on my coffee table in front of the TV) with a chaser (5 more shots that you drink during the actual game). Then I’ll probably finish painting the kids room or throw up and pass out.
I’m just kidding. I’m not going to paint. But I do know what Amanda is doing thanks to her kiss ass phone call to my mother while my mother was still at my house.
Appreciation. Have fun sissy! I’ll need pics for future posts! Love, L.C-Bip
Full Disclosure:This is blatantly copied and pasted from D-Listed. There is a link to the right if you want to check it out. Adult content.
Michael K./D-Listed. His words:
Open Post: Hosted By Brendan Fraser And His Five-Month Old Fetus
Does Brendan Fraser have something tell us?! Or maybe he doesn’t even know himself and we’ll soon see his ass on an episode of “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” after he pops out a baby in the toilet of a public bathroom? Or maybe he’s starring as the pregnant dude in a Lifetime biopic? Or maybe he sort-of, kind-of swallowed a beer keg during a drunken night? Eh, it happens.
End of copied work.
So this is me now. I totally copied and pasted the part I wanted to keep. That would be the above. The rest that Michael K. wrote and the actual site are a little too adult for my children who might see it on the front page. But please click on the link to the right and get ready to laugh. It’s my go-to web place for guaranteed humor. (Please don’t be mad. I gave full credit!)
Anyway, the reason THIS is so funny to me, is one, tipsy on the beer fuzz, and two, Brendan Fraser with a beer gut? It can’t be. We just watched Journey to the Center of the Earth a mere 36 hours ago. Seriously. My daughter loves him. She asked if he was married. I said he was. She said, “Awww..” She’s ten. These crushes happen. We watch at least one movie of his every few weeks. No kidding. We are waiting for Inkheart from Netflix right now.
The third reason this is so funny is that I have just recently noticed this disturbing trend in our white male population of the 40-year old range. It seems like every time I see an older, somewhat attractive white guy walking around, he’s carrying that lump along with him. What the heck??
Maybe it’s just me? Maybe America is producing some new super-junk-food-sensation sweeping the nation that our white middle-aged boys can’t resist? And that women and other races know nothing about? I don’t mean to sound prejudice, I’m sure every nationality has a male gut problem…no offense intended…but it’s seeping over into our action stars!! Our sexy, muscle-y, looking-like-they-are-working-out action stars! Oh, the humanity.
At any rate, we still love Brendan, and this gives me a new idea. I’m going to keep an extra sharp eye out now and take a sneaky picture of anyone I see carting this belly thing around with them. It’s very specific in shape and seems to ride high up on the waist. It’s weird. And it looks unnatural.
But, it gives me something to do.
Day Quote
I remember my youth and the feeling that will never come back anymore—the feeling that I could last for ever, outlast the sea, the earth, and all men; the deceitful feeling that lures us on to perils, to love, to vain effort—to death; the triumphant conviction of strength, the heat of life in the handful of dust, that glow in the heart that with every year grows dim, grows cold, grows small, and expires—and expires, too soon, too soon—before life itself.
—Joseph Conrad
Day Quote
She was an Amazon. Her whole life was spent riding at breakneck speed along the wilder shores of love.
—Lesley Blanch
just shy of pretty 