OVER!
For the semester! Thank God! It wasn’t as bad as the last one and I sure didn’t want to kill myself this time like I did after the last final. I was going for the A this time. It’s all about the points. And I was THIS close. I was up, I was down; I lost a few and gained them back. It came down to the last points on the final exam and I just couldn’t do it. FAIL. Well, not fail. I passed the test and the class with a really really (really) high B. I keep my Honor Society and I get that damn pin they have been dangling over our heads the entire semester.
But still….last thing I said to Stevie today before she left for school was that I hope when I see that grade, if I do miss the A, let it be at least by 2 points. It can’t be just one. One point is wrong. One point is one foot from the shore and drowning anyway. It’s like falling flat on your face one foot from the finish line. That’s alot of F’s in that sentence. OK. Re-focus.
So you know, YOU KNOW, that is exactly what I missed that shit ass A by. One stinking lousy point! One point too stupid!! And I can’t even blame the test because someone only missed 6 total and I missed double that! Something to strive for next year right?? UGH!! It’s almost too much. Maybe I was sabotaged?? Maybe I should have studied just a few more hours…
All in all I am thankful and grateful to be moving on. School is hard. And it just gets harder. For all you youngsters out there…and I KNOW there are some that read this:
DO NOT WAIT to go to school!! Do what you must to make it happen while you are young. And childless. And free to move anywhere, at anytime, and get that career before you do all the things that make life so much harder as you get older. The boyfriend/girlfriend WILL wait for you to be done if they are the one. The children will be better off if you are not struggling along with them to grow up and figure out what you want to do with your life. You can always change careers after 20 years. It’s not even unusual anymore! But you need to start with SOMETHING first!! You need to listen to me. I am smart, remember?!?!
I am also lucky. I have the best family, and the best kids, and the best friends that are helping me thru every single day, and hopefully I am helping them somehow too.
And most of all, I have the BEST boyfriend EVER! (That’s the best “husband” to all my patients–the older folks don’t like the term “boyfriend” for some reason) Without him, really, this just wouldn’t even work at all. And even though I NEVER say it….I am so thankful and so grateful you are with me through all of this, and I love you very, very much. (And no…not ONE drop of alcohol…this is ALL me!)
And that’s it. It took me all day to get up and do anything. I reorganized my papers for school next semester when I have to take the BIG test. I paid the bills that needed paying. And I did some laundry. I am now about to troll around on the internet for awhile and then read some trashy magazines that have been piling up. I also started a book. Yes, an actual book that is not a textbook. It’s just funny. It’s Dr. Denis Leary, in case you were interested. “Why We Suck”. I think it’s actually listed in my sidebar under “stuff that we like” or something like that. Yes, I bought it over a year ago, maybe even 2. I am reading it now. Like I said, school is hard and all consuming. I am on page 10 and I have laughed out loud at least 10 times already and the first non-numbered pages are just acknowledgments and the table of contents. He is just THAT funny. Seriously.
So I am off to it now. Again, thanks for hanging with me. Definitely more posts to come. For at least a few weeks anyway.
just shy of pretty 