Desolation Row
Another one and a half months goes by…and here we are again.
That pic above is from the BF’s 2 week, cross country, gorgeous scenery, motorcycle trip I had previously written about, oh say, 4 or 5 months ago. (And perfectly illustrates the vast emptiness that can be found here in this rolling, hilly, disaster of a website as well.) He planned it, funded it, took the vacation time, rode it, and came back home. And I didn’t post a word about it. I had such big plans: tracking him across the country, mapping out the route on a day by day basis, posting all the cool pics he sent back…but no. I am a bad GF. Besides completely ignoring this site, I barely even went ON the computer, much less the internet for fun. I checked money and paid bills. Thank goodness for a system that allows you to pay anything instantly and at the very last minute. The checks I actually have to mail now, are always soooo late. I stink at maintaining the high level of entertainment and info all NONE of you expect. Oh yes. I see my numbers. I see my site visits. ZERO. But that’s cool. Nothing to see here anyway folks. Let’s just keep moving along.
Maybe another day…maybe in a few more hours…if I stay up really late and use my time to be productive instead of sitting on the couch watching Sex and the City reruns over and over. That’s another picture from the trip that I really like. Lots of loose ends. Raw material. Big sky. It’s solid and unstable at the same time. Like this site. Like it’s owner. And now I’ve discovered this fab new game called Coin Dozer and Coin Dozer-World Tour that I can play on my smart phone. (See how I added that “smart” thing in there?, to ironically point out that I am participating in the polar opposite of anything that would be considered “smart”.) I am done for. I have sunk so low that I cannot even be bothered to form words (sorry Words with Friends–you are too hard on my few last functioning brain cells) or draw even the simplest of pictures (stick men, bow your heads in shame, Draw Something is also too difficult for my slowly atrophying brain to handle at this time), only you, Coin Dozer, are the thing keeping my mind from total mush. Like a bad melon. Drop coins on tray. Coins push forward. Coins barely move. Coins drop into prize area. Coins drop off side gutter. Get more coins. That’s it. Drop and roll. Nothing to it. I use up all my coins and I quit the game. When I come back in a few hours, I magically have more coins! I drop them all on the tray and quit again. So easy. So effortless. No stress. Takes about 5 minutes. I can switch back and forth between the two games (I hear that’s what some people do) but I prefer to just drop them all in one big load and come back later. I’m sure that’s a metaphor for something, but I am not going there. I’ve typed too much today already. Picture moment.
Anyway. This was just a quick hey and how ya doing until I can somehow get back on track with life. Again. It’s not bad, it’s just busy. And if I haven’t said it enough in the last 6 months, the shift I work sucks for social time. My schedule blows but I’m learning to adapt. Slowly. But things have been happening. I got a raise. The difference is literally in change…you know…cents. But it’s more. And I accrued 2 whole days of sick time if I need it! Nice. I never call off, but you never know. Winter is a coming. And I have managed to lose a nonfluctuating, solid, thirty pounds now, with a high/low weight differential of about 33-35 pounds total. And I have somehow managed to keep it all off. Even when I actually have time to eat food. Healthier choices, blah blah blah. I really need to add that exercise thing in again. Then I can really put up some numbers. But that kind of talk is for another time and place. BF vacation insert. Oregon. At the ocean. Just lounging.
Besides me, the kids are gearing up for school again. The boy is already back. Freshman year. Started Monday. Jumped right in. Full day with football practice for 3 hours after that. And then every day this week. And every day next week. And so on until football season is over. Adjustment. But he’s such a cool kid I know he can handle it all. The girl is on reprieve until next week. I do need to get her up and out of this house though because we need school supplies and some pants. Notebooks and jeans, notebooks and jeans, notebooks and jeans……Yeah! Notebooks and jeans! That’s a Target commercial. In case you were wondering what that was all about. High fives if you totally sang it in your head. Bonus if you sang it out loud!
I really need to finish here.
Since my last post even more crap happened that I have pics of, and words for, but no motivation to put into action.
A second water main break, two weeks after the first one, in my front yard. It’s just dirt now with a patch of grass.
Some fence damage from another, separate, tree limb throwing itself to its death on the same stormy day. It landed in the neighbors driveway. Rude.
Another tree in my back yard decided it had enough of all that “standing” and “staying rooted to the ground” type nonsense, and forced me to take her down professionally before she split herself in two and took out the neighbors garage and house and the main power lines to the block.
Now I have an entire 50 years and 60 feet of tree laying all over my grass.
And I paid $1500 for the privilege of helping out this lazy tree!
Gratuitous product placement. That’s one big chainsaw!
In action.
Debris.
Parameters. At least it all fit in the yard.
We had some real ugly weather around here too. And I posted nothing! Everyone who knows me, knows I love talking about that weather! 100+ degrees! Tornados! Microbursts! Scary ass lightning! I had a car break down. Stevie got trapped in a safety belt. The kids went on vacation. Madison, Wisconsin. Benches. Bugs. Birds. Racoons. Skunks. Opossums. Football. A car museum. The list goes on and on. Without looking at all the pictures I can’t even remember what we did, what I’ve already talked about and what I’ve missed. I will sum up safely with, probably not much. It’s all preview and hints and expectation. No substance. No meat. Speaking of meat, I really really really need to finish this “quick” post, because I also have to go “shopping” shopping too. Down to the last rolls of TP and some spoiled milk. I want to make a nice dinner tonight and possibly drink some wine. Dream big! Besides I think I have more coins I could be dropping. Here are some more pictures. Without comment. They really don’t need anything else.
Thanks for hanging. Now get out there and do anything else besides staring at your computer reading fluff pieces like this. Life is too short! 11 AM! I have got to go! Here is another random pic from the big trip! It’s a monument! Later!
A breather….
OMG! I hate to be such a loser….but this semester is kicking my butt. I’m fine in grades but weary with the work. I want to be in my job. I know that’s not possible yet, but everyday I feel like I am earning more coins, leveling up, familiarizing myself with things that made no sense just 5 weeks ago.I liken it to driving. Every time I leave my school, my hospital, my classroom, I think about driving the car on the way home. When I was sixteen it seemed so foreign and difficult to do while doing anything else! My grandma would drive with the tips of her fingers barely on the wheel, moving stuff around in the seats and reaching behind her while talking, adjusting the radio and dangling a cigarette out of the corner of her mouth (I have never smoked, but I so badly wanted to be able to do just that. I don’t even understand the mechanics that were holding it there, lit and burning and smoking into her face and eyes. How did she ever drive like this?? and no seat belts either! Amazing.) These days I can talk on the phone (try not too though, but I could) yell at the kids, change the stations…barely even think about the rules of the road and the traffic and the lights. I just know. I’ve been doing it for a long time and I just know. I am anxious to see how my children will do and so excited for them and all that stands before them. Driving is just one tiny thing in a million things that they have to look forward to and I want to be here for all of it.
But that is really off my track already, and I don’t have alot of time. My breather spaces are short. My clinical day is done, but I have skills and a test to prepare for next week. Quote time: The days are long but the years are short. My days are not short this time around. They seem way too fast and without alot of night-time. I am awake more than I am ever asleep and I never catch up. Summer. I will sleep in the summer. So here is what I have to say for today.
So many things are happening everyday in my small, small, world that aren’t worth the air waves it takes to move this stuff around. And then there are so many things happening in the BIG world that I can’t even post about without crying and because I don’t have the words required to convey my thoughts. Haiti…death in a big way, on a grand scale, pulling the world together in an effort to make any kind of difference at all. And across the big lands…the Olympics…life in a big way on the grandest scale, pulling the world together to watch and wonder at how there is no difference when you run at the highest levels. It’s still all luck and chance and the right place and the right time with the right people and the right equipment to keep a dream alive or crumple it in defeat. I know that the skill is there. I know the years and training it takes for some of these athletes to get in the position to just try. But all the training in the world can’t help if the mountain shakes unexpectedly or the land just drops. One small bump. If you can’t keep your balance, it’s all over.
The thing I like the best in any tragedy and any victory is that everybody, every single person sharing the experience, cries and laughs and cheers with the heartbreak AND the victory. People try to help when they can, and not make it worse, if that’s possible, when it matters. It is my absolute favorite thing about the human race. We do come together when we have to. And we have to. We just really do. I always said I would want to live away from all the people, but you can’t really “live” without all the other people. Otherwise, it’s just you. One person, alive, living. If there is nothing else, there’s really just, nothing. Another lesson learned through better living. Ha. That was a little joke because this quick post took a real serious turn and I want to get on FishWorld! (What?? I know. I hear you. It is pathetic.) Just living life!
So anyway, I just wanted to acknowledge the world out there for a few minutes. Haiti, the Olympics, Captain Phil Harris passing away(sadsadsad), the SuperBowl and New Orleans (Yea!!), Chicago, my new friend Merianne and my old friend Beverly (Hey ladies!!), my family and all the kids we know, the BF’s family and his cousin Scotta still fighting the bad blood and staying hilariously upbeat about it (she’s got a website too, trying to pass some time—you can check it out—www.thepapergal.com—and I’ll get you the background info as soon as I can do it justice—newsbreak–I’m going to post the whole note she sent to me right below this one) all the good stuff and the bad stuff and the ridiculous stuff me and a thousand other “bloggers” like to write about. Did you know that Angelina Jolie has a new hair style?? And that Conan O’Brien grew a beard?? I did. But I haven’t had time to give you my opinion. And now I won’t. I missed Valentine’s Day too. VD as all us “older” students say and laugh our butts off. Venereal disease is not funny, but it is funny that people say VD for Valentines’s Day. And venereal diseases are now STD’s and the hilarity goes on and on…so you see where MY head is at. I don’t even choke anymore! I aspirate! Pretty funny huh??
I am ending this here. I stopped with the facebook jewel game that was keeping me up at night, but I swapped the addiction for a bunch of cartoon fish in a virtual fishtank, so I have to go feed my fake fish to grow them big enough for me to sell and buy more. Gotta level up! I think I’m like 26. That’s nothing in the fish world. I’m just a guppy. So I plan on a few more posts. I have found alot of change….in case I didn’t already tell you, we have had several mini-storms of snow in the past few weeks, and at the same time, someone must have dumped a cup holder full of pennies into the parking lot at school, and I have been finding them in giant clumps (like dumped out rock salt) on the ground. So, they’re pretty dirty and salty, and there’s alot! (Just one last little thing regarding my age…I originally typed in that previous sentence, “someone must have dumped an ASHTRAY full of pennies…” and I realized that some people might actually be confused on how an ashtray could have gotten into a car! All you oldies like me, think about it now for a second before you poo-poo me. When was the last time you SAW an actual ashtray in a newer car?? They don’t put them there anymore. Our kids will never know that it used to be an actual feature of a car! Isn’t that hilarious? Don’t you feel old?!?)
OK, I’m REALLY leaving on that. Enjoy what ever you do in the next few days,weeks, months, years of your life…I’m in Chicago. It’s Thursday afternoon and 41°. I haven’t gained any weight lately and I feel pretty good. I hope the same for you!
And pictures. Pictures make it better. Peace.
Back on the Fat Wagon
And it feels so good…
No, not really. Well, not that bad. Extreme Fat Smash is an awesome plan. Dr. Ian K. Smith is pretty straightforward and the plan is easy to insert into your life. Food planning and exercise. If you don’t exercise already it might be difficult to start but once you do the payoff is tremendous! I’ve talked about it for awhile; Got thru the first 2 weeks but was sidelined by events and fast food. But now is a good time, no distractions until June or so….party wise anyway. Get the book from the library first, then check it out on Amazon where you can buy it for 3 bucks. Worth the money. Give it a go and let me know.
It’s raining here now, but it was nice earlier.
6 am: Stevie and I did an hour of Jillian Michaels (Biggest Loser Trainer) workout—for beginners—but it’s also good for those who can do a little more. You can modify it with weights and more advanced exercise positions. I’m aiming for her arms by July. Then in the spirit of more healthy lifestyle choices, I went out to the forest preserve and ran an easy 4.6 miles. Took less than hour in some pretty high winds. I love how when you get out into the open field areas you can barely move forward. More calories burned! And a double workout! Technically, tomorrow is double day, but what the heck…I was going to do it tomorrow too anyway.
I’m finishing up my coffee right now and trying not to think about all those snack chips we have left over from the business fair. Delicious Frito-Lay Chili Cheese Corn Chips. MMmmm. So tasty. You could say I am a little hungry…but I’m sure the brown rice and beans for dinner will be quite filling. Then I’ll just go to bed.
No. I can tough it out. It’s just food. I went out and bought batteries for the scale and then I crazily weighed myself today. It’s not good. The numbers are wrong or something. I think the scale needs like, a two week waiting period before it weighs correctly again after you put in fresh batteries. I’m pretty sure that’s what it said on the box.
I used my Warrior playlist. Part 1 Part 2 It’s still so good; Even if I have to say so myself. You can find it under Music Lists. Or use my handy calendar widget. It really is a cool little feature. (Click on April 6, 2009 ) But I need a new one for today. Thinking about the last few days and the thoughts I’ve committed to internet.., I’ve already done hungry and sunny and fighting and rainy. I was kind of thinking sad or death. I know that isn’t inspiring so much, but it was on my list of ideas and now seems like as good a time as any. Surprisingly, the songs themselves are not all that literally “depressing”. Sadness and death are two very different subjects.
No fanfare here. List Title: “Death Comes Down“
just shy of pretty 