A breather….

February 18, 2010 at 4:11 pm (Day to Day, News, Pictures, School News, Updates) (, , , , , )

OMG! I hate to be such a loser….but this semester is kicking my butt. I’m fine in grades but weary with the work. I want to be in my job. I know that’s not possible yet, but everyday I feel like I am earning more coins, leveling up, familiarizing myself with things that made no sense just 5 weeks ago.I liken it to driving. Every time I leave my school, my hospital, my classroom, I think about driving the car on the way home. When I was sixteen it seemed so foreign and difficult to do while doing anything else! My grandma would drive with the tips of her fingers barely on the wheel, moving stuff around in the seats and reaching behind her while talking, adjusting the radio and dangling a cigarette out of the corner of her mouth (I have never smoked, but I so badly wanted to be able to do just that. I don’t even understand the mechanics that were holding it there, lit and burning and smoking into her face and eyes. How did she ever drive like this?? and no seat belts either! Amazing.) These days I can talk on the phone (try not too though, but I could) yell at the kids, change the stations…barely even think about the rules of the road and the traffic and the lights. I just know. I’ve been doing it for a long time and I just know. I am anxious to see how my children will do and so excited for them and all that stands before them. Driving is just one tiny thing in a million things that they have to look forward to and I want to be here for all of it.

But that is really off my track already, and I don’t have alot of time. My breather spaces are short. My clinical day is done, but I have skills and a test to prepare for next week. Quote time: The days are long but the years are short. My days are not short this time around. They seem way too fast and without alot of night-time. I am awake more than I am ever asleep and I never catch up. Summer. I will sleep in the summer. So here is what I have to say for today.

So many things are happening everyday in my small, small, world that aren’t worth the air waves it takes to move this stuff around. And then there are so many things happening in the BIG world that I can’t even post about without crying and because I don’t have the words required to convey my thoughts. Haiti…death in a big way, on a grand scale, pulling the world together in an effort to make any kind of difference at all. And across the big lands…the Olympics…life in a big way on the grandest scale, pulling the world together to watch and wonder at how there is no difference when you run at the highest levels. It’s still all luck and chance and the right place and the right time with the right people and the right equipment to keep a dream alive or crumple it in defeat. I know that the skill is there. I know the years and training it takes for some of these athletes to get in the position to just try. But all the training in the world can’t help if the mountain shakes unexpectedly or the land just drops. One small bump. If you can’t keep your balance, it’s all over.

The thing I like the best in any tragedy and any victory is that everybody, every single person sharing the experience, cries and laughs and cheers with the heartbreak AND the victory. People try to help when they can,  and not make it worse, if that’s possible, when it matters.  It is my absolute favorite thing about the human race. We do come together when we have to. And we have to. We just really do. I always said I would want to live away from all the people, but you can’t really “live” without all the other people. Otherwise, it’s just you. One person, alive, living. If there is nothing else, there’s really just, nothing. Another lesson learned through better living. Ha. That was a little joke because this quick post took a real serious turn and I want to get on FishWorld! (What?? I know. I hear you. It is pathetic.) Just living life!

So anyway, I just wanted to acknowledge the world out there for a few minutes. Haiti, the Olympics, Captain Phil Harris passing away(sadsadsad), the SuperBowl and New Orleans (Yea!!), Chicago, my new friend Merianne and my old friend Beverly (Hey ladies!!), my family and all the kids we know, the BF’s family and his cousin Scotta still fighting the bad blood and staying hilariously upbeat about it (she’s got a website too, trying to pass some time—you can check it out—www.thepapergal.com—and I’ll get you the background info as soon as I can do it justice—newsbreak–I’m going to post the whole note she sent to me right below this one) all the good stuff and the bad stuff and the ridiculous stuff me and a thousand other “bloggers” like to write about. Did you know that Angelina Jolie has a new hair style?? And that Conan O’Brien grew a beard?? I did. But I haven’t had time to give you my opinion. And now I won’t. I missed Valentine’s Day too. VD as all us “older” students say and laugh our butts off. Venereal disease is not funny, but it is funny that people say VD for Valentines’s Day. And venereal diseases are now STD’s and the hilarity goes on and on…so you see where MY head is at. I don’t even choke anymore! I aspirate! Pretty funny huh??

I am ending this here. I stopped with the facebook jewel game that was keeping me up at night, but I swapped the addiction for a bunch of cartoon fish in a virtual fishtank, so I have to go feed my fake fish to grow them big enough for me to sell and buy more. Gotta level up! I think I’m like 26. That’s nothing in the fish world. I’m just a guppy. So I plan on a few more posts. I have found alot of change….in case I didn’t already tell you, we have had several mini-storms of snow in the past few weeks, and at the same time, someone must have dumped a cup holder full of pennies into the parking lot at school, and I have been finding them in giant clumps (like dumped out rock salt) on the ground. So, they’re pretty dirty and salty, and there’s alot! (Just one last little thing regarding my age…I originally typed in that previous sentence, “someone must have dumped an ASHTRAY full of pennies…” and I realized that some people might actually be confused on how an ashtray could have gotten into a car! All you oldies like me, think about it now for a second before you poo-poo me. When was the last time you SAW an actual ashtray in a newer car?? They don’t put them there anymore. Our kids will never know that it used to be an actual feature of a car! Isn’t that hilarious? Don’t you feel old?!?)

OK, I’m REALLY leaving on that. Enjoy what ever you do in the next few days,weeks, months, years of your life…I’m in Chicago. It’s Thursday afternoon and 41°. I haven’t gained any weight lately and I feel pretty good. I hope the same for you!

And pictures. Pictures make it better. Peace.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: