Cool Word of the Day!
Desolation (noun)
Definition: Loneliness or sadness; misery; wasteland; state of being uninhabitable, deserted or useless; state of devastation
Extreme Fat Has Been Smashed! But let’s wait on that cake for now….
Wednesday, and the scale is LOVING us! The boyfriend hopped on bright and early to see if the week long struggle NOT to eat donuts and drink bacon grease was worth it and, oh man, 11 pounds!! Holy Hell!! Too bad no one else was up to share the good news with. He has a 4:30 a.m. call to the gym and then straight to work. I stayed up way too late typing about our adventures and missed the moment. When I finally rolled out of bed at 7 a.m. and weighed myself, the news was not bad. 4 pounds! So I called the BF at work and we rejoiced together over a big plate of imagination pancakes! The laughing only lasted for a few minutes. That’s when he told me the harrowing tale of “Muffins! In The Break Room!”
What evil genius has set out to destroy my man and his willpower to resist sugary snacks? It’s Joe Smith and it’s his birthday. (Names have been changed to protect the innocent). The muffins are some kind of celebratory bonding initiative used to tempt the other employees into a work chow-down group with self-esteem destroying crumbs of doom. The BF wasn’t going for it. This is where you can tell you’ve slid over to the dark side of good health, eating right and exercising. You can stand NEAR the muffins and look at them critically while explaining all about the deceptive calorie and fat content with another person who is nodding and cramming said muffin into his mouth as you talk. Perhaps like my BF, the other person will even ask questions and appear to be shocked by the fact that muffins are not your friends, yet continue to shove in every last bit and then take another one to his desk. Even say, “Man, I just ate that thing in like 2 minutes! Oh well.” Oh. You know. And yet, secretly, in your heart you want to eat them all. Evil. Stop staring at those muffins and move. It’s like they have magnetic power. You don’t want to be the freak in service that has a pastry fetish. Go call your girlfriend.
And here we are. Still talking about muffins. See what you do? Instead of eating anything good, you just talk about the good old days when you did! I told him I am dedicating my playlist for the day to him. Him and sugar. Everything sweet that he can’t eat. Then he hung up on me.
Have some, “Sugar For My Honey“, Eat It Up!
Sugar List For My Honey
1. Pour Some Sugar On Me / Def Leppard
2. Suga Suga / Baby Bash
3. Brown Sugar / The Rolling Stones
4. Sugar And Spice / The Searchers
5. Sugar Coated Love / Lou Ann Barton
6. When My Sugar Walks Down The Street / Nat King Cole
7. Sugar, We’re Goin Down / Fall Out Boy
8. I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch) / The Four Tops
9. Honey / Moby
10. Honey (Open That Door) / Ricky Skaggs
11. Little Honey / Kelly Willis
12. Sweet Caroline / Neil Diamond
13. Sweet And Low / Augustana
14. Sweet Child O’ Mine / Guns N’ Roses
15. Sweet Side / Lucinda Williams
16. Sweet Emotion / Aerosmith
17. The Sweet Escape / Gwen Stefani feat. Akon
18. Sweet Home Alabama / Lynyrd Skynyrd
19. Sweet Jane / Cowboy Junkies
20. Sweetness / Jimmy Eat World
21. Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) / Eurythmics
Cool Word of the Day!
Innominata (proper noun)
Definition: embalming fluid, name of; patented by Thomas Holmes
Extreme Fat Smashed–Day 7–End of Week 1!
Can you totally see how these words look like they were typed by a lighter person? The words are magically floating from my delicate fingers to the keyboard to the screen. Amazing!
OK It is actually, technically, Day 8, since it is 1:30 in the morning on the 25th. But if it’s still dark it’s still the same day right? Right. But I better make this quick anyway. I want to say we were perfect all week, followed it to the letter, but you know that just can’t happen when you have to go out and do stuff. We stayed as true as we could but the proof is in the pudding…mmmm…pudding….I can still have another snack if I want!–back to the pudding…the proof is the weight. THAT won’t happen until the sun comes up. The official, “how many pounds in one week?” weighing. I’ll let you know.
As for the exercise part, the boyfriend was perfect–did it all–even the doubles (yay him!!). I must admit, that I missed one. Today was a double, but I did a single. Ran around outside in a giant 3.6 mile circle over at the forest preserve…65 and partly sunny…it wasn’t graceful–oh no–It felt like my legs wouldn’t go straight or in any kind of rhythmic manner. And I am quite sure it looked ridiculous too, me clomping around out there like I was trying to get some mud off my 50 lb. shoes…silly! But a run is a run. I broke a sweat and made it around in about 45 mins with minimal walking and pretending-to-fix-my-laces breaks.
After that mess was over I went home and prepared for my next athletic challenge. Which counts. I think. We, self and 2 children, went to the Target–the SuperTarget–to purchase some items–grocery items– for the upcoming weekend. AND, my son had to do a comparitive study on prices from the 30’s and prices today. Oh yeah–it took 2 hours. I used my legs, my arms, and my brain (calculations on some tuff math). I like to grab the things I need without much thought, but when school is involved…a 10 bar pack of soap cost 5 cents in 1933. How much today? But you go to the isle of soap and guess what? 2 bar packs, 3 bar packs, 4 bar packs, 8 bar packs, 12 bar packs–NO 10 BAR PACKS!!! Then you gotta do the math. And what brands are we talking here? It’s not like there are any that have depression era labeling—we went for the middle. Over and over again. 1 lb. of coffee costs this…can’t find one pound any more…got 11 oz., 13 oz., 24.6 oz., all around the magic 16. From $4 to $12. Again, do the math. We may have been off, but I said it’s not like the teacher is going to come to the Target and check all our calculations! “But what if she did mom?” They should learn now, not EVERYTHING can be EXACTLY right all the time. Not enough information given. Do your best and move on. Please move on…
But what is going on this week and weekend?…well we need more healthy foods like fruit and vegetables…they don’t last and they cost too much. It’s really just cheaper to be fat and unhealthy…anymoo…then on Saturday we are going to a CrawFish Boil and I’m bringing a dip. Taco Dip. Mine is the best. Many imitate, none duplicate. Its my “thing”. So of course everywhere I go it has to go too….not EFS to be sure, but those crawfish are just little seafoods boiled in water. Not bad really. What’s going to get me is the gi-normous cheeseburger I will be eating because there is no way in hell I am eating that. We have a beautiful blue one in our fishtank. Creepy to look at. Creepier to chew. Pets! Not Pots!
But it doesn’t matter anyway, because after all that “exercise” I forgot to buy the damn burgers. I also forgot to get beer, water, and soda for the party WE are having Sunday. It’s the boyfriends birthday and we have the family and friends over. More dips and chips and CAKE!!. So basically, I have to make a whole other trip in the morn to get what I should have got in the first place. I’m just going to Jewel though. Close and fast. Have to get home and exercise!
So that’s the whole story. This is where I would usually sum up with a perfectly placed playlist, wrapping the sordid tale into a neat package and putting a name on it. But I’m expanding now, so I’ll give you the idea, and you have to look at the next post. Keeps it easier in the whole; filter out the junk just to see the music; You’ll thank me later when you don’t have to look at all this just to get to this:
Was going to do a “You made it! Congrats! ” list. Or a “Dropped things, feeling lighter” you know, that type. BUT then, my children gave me the inspiration I needed to really bring something good to the party tale…non-stop arguing over who gets to sit in the front seat. Back and forth. It’s my turn. No mine. You went last. No you did. I get two turns then next time. No, one. Two. One. Two. One. Two. One. AAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!
I told them at the store when I let them out of the trunk that they were directly responsible for today’s list. The knock-down-drag-out-can’t-we-all-just-get-along “FIGHT” List. Enjoy! (Remember–its the next post–or if you are reading this at a normal time, and in the order they get placed–it was the post before this because this is first…and that was newest…well whatever—I’ll work on that—post the list first, THEN the preview–ha-smarter every second! At any rate you probably already know what the list is, but now you have the story behind it and it will be that much better.)
fyi–the kids weren’t really in the trunk–that was creative license—don’t call the authorities—thank you.
Fight (Better Late Than Never)
1. Eye Of The Tiger / Survivor
2. Street Fighting Man / The Rolling Stones
3. Bad, Bad Leroy Brown / Jim Croce
4. Spoilin’ For A Fight / AC/DC
5. Love Is A Battlefield / Pat Benatar
6. Prizefighter / Bush
7. I’m A Lover Not A Fighter / Lazy Lester
8. Fighting For My Love / Nil Lara
9. Girlfight / Brooke Valentine
10. Victim Of Circumstance / Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
11. Cold War / Tori Sparks
12. Fighter / Christina Aguilera
13. Fight / No Vacancy
14. Alright Alright (Here’s My Fist Where’s The Fight) / Sahara Hotnights
15. You Don’t Mess Around With Jim / Jim Croce
16. White Flag / Dido
17. The Warrior / Scandal
18. Hit Me With Your Best Shot / Pat Benatar
19. Riot Girl / Good Charlotte
20. Bad Reputation / Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
Cool Word of the Day!
Dense (adj)
Definition: Tightly packed together
(This word is just for you Stevie! Compact!)
Monday! Music for Smashing Fat!
We made it! The whole weekend! Did NOT eat anything from a fast food place, a restaurant, a roadside stand, a cart at the park—nothing! Day 6 dawns rainy and chill but we feel good. Hungry yes, but not AS hungry. It’s weird. Pounds have been dropped. Won’t have an official count until Day 8–start of cycle 2–second week of the smash. But it’s already exciting because bread is involved and peanut butter and bananas!! 2 more days of the leany lean and then it’s like a party of food. So me and boyfriend are talking about all the stuff we COULD have, like pizza, burgers, ice cream, bacon, pancakes—cause that’s what you do…when I first started BFL a year ago, I would hoard food magazines like Bon Appetit and Fine Cooking and Food and Wine, and I became obsessed with cooking shows (Guy Fieri and Tyler’s Ultimate; Bobby Flay and Alton Brown–the food gods sent from olympus) and I would just read or watch and dream whenever I was hungry. Which was always. It was like food porn. And I thought, man, a good music list could come from this. We can’t eat any of that stuff. Glamour Eggs are like, egg whites with mushrooms. Bleah…I just shove a hard boiled egg into my mouth, try not to choke, and move on. Takes like 30 seconds. More time for exercise. The OTHER healthy component….circling back around to the list….we can’t have the bad because that food goes right to the fat already stored in the body. Just attracts right to it like a lumpy fat magnet. And that’s the list. Took the long way to get there, but here we are, the “Hanging Out In The Adipose” List:
1. Fat Bottomed Girl / Queen
2. Fat As A Fiddle / Chris Difford
3. Fat / Weird Al Yankovic
4. Big Fat Woman / Mudcat
5. Big Belly Mamma / Albert Smith
6. Big Girl, Skinny Girl / CX Kidtronik feat. Rockola
7. Big Girl (You Are Beautiful) / Mika
8. Big Bad John / Jimmy Dean
9. He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother / The Hollies
10. Heavy On My Mind / Back Door Slam
11. Thick-Necked Man / Crash Test Dummies
12. Thicka Than A Snicka / Meech
13. Overweight / Blue October
14. The Weight / The Band
Cool Word of the Day!
Familiar (noun)
Definition: A spirit, often taking animal form, believed to serve especially a witch
Hanging Out In The Adipose
1. Fat Bottomed Girl / Queen
2. Fat As A Fiddle / Chris Difford
3. Fat / Weird Al Yankovic
4. Big Fat Woman / Mudcat
5. Big Belly Mamma / Albert Smith
6. Big Girl, Skinny Girl / CX Kidtronik feat. Rockola
7. Big Girl (You Are Beautiful) / Mika
8. Big Bad John / Jimmy Dean
9. He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother / The Hollies
10. Heavy On My Mind / Back Door Slam
11. Thick-Necked Man / Crash Test Dummies
12. Thicka Than A Snicka / Meech
13. Overweight / Blue October
14. The Weight / The Band
just shy of pretty 