New Feature!! Weird Shit That You Find Around Your House
I apologize for the graphic nature of my headline…but I needed to GRAB your attention!!
After lounging around the pool all weekend and reading the “Star” Magazine and “US Weekly”, I have decided that I will no longer be just a “blogger”.
No, no, no. I read the gossip about Ashley Olsen and how weird she is, by a source who WAS revealed. Revealed by himself, but still. And he wasn’t just some guy on the street, or some guy on the same plane, as it turns out, with a celebrity. He (I don’t remember the name) referred to himself as a Manhattan-Based Internet Personality.
So please, from now on, I am a “CHICAGO-Based Internet Personality.” That’s right. I’m a somebody. I’m a STAR! And here’s my first stellar post as an “Internet Personality”:
What the hell is this?? We found it on the floor in the utility room. No one knows what or where it came from. But in the interest of world-wide celebrity, I thought of my adoring fans-to-be and put it here, for you, to speculate upon while basking in my fabulous, “personality”.
You are welcome.
It's flexible, plastic and rubbery feeling. It stretches if you pull it without breaking. Looks like it fits into something or around something, like an inlay, but we couldn't find anything missing a rubbery, 3-loop thingy. Mysterious. Weird Shit!
New Feature! Subscribe to me!
As if you couldn’t get enough of me before…now you can have MORE!
Oh yeah. And it’s free! Just look over to the right there →, and plant those eyeballs on the, “Subscribe to just shy of pretty by e-mail” link.
Click it and give up your info.
Now, you will never miss, even one, of the extremely witty things I say, ever again. You WILL be e-mailed every time I lay hands to keyboard and hit “Publish”.
I wish I could be you. I’m just kidding. But really, won’t it make your life easier? Now you don’t have to randomly check if I added anything new. You’ll always know. And I have written some pretty good stuff in the last few months that you may have missed, if I do say so myself.
Even my mom says that it’s just like talking to me in real life! I just go on and on. That’s a compliment, trust me.
I’m not above begging either. Please, please, please, please…put me on your list. Subscribe to me. Please, it makes me feel special!
Thank you thank you thank you. Now go over there →
And let’s hook up!!
just shy of pretty 