Extreme Fat Smashed–Day 7–End of Week 1!

March 25, 2009 at 2:43 am (EFS) (, , , , , , )

Can you totally see how these words look like they were typed by a lighter person? The words are magically floating from my delicate fingers to the keyboard to the screen. Amazing!

OK It is actually, technically, Day 8, since it is 1:30 in the morning on the 25th. But if it’s still dark it’s still the same day right? Right. But I better make this quick anyway. I want to say we were perfect all week, followed it to the letter, but you know that just can’t happen when you have to go out and do stuff. We stayed as true as we could but the proof is in the pudding…mmmm…pudding….I can still have another snack if I want!–back to the pudding…the proof is the weight. THAT won’t happen until the sun comes up. The official, “how many pounds in one week?” weighing.  I’ll let you know.

As for the exercise part, the boyfriend was perfect–did it all–even the doubles (yay him!!). I must admit, that I missed one. Today was a double, but I did a single. Ran around outside in a giant 3.6 mile circle over at the forest preserve…65 and partly sunny…it wasn’t graceful–oh no–It felt like my legs wouldn’t go straight or in any kind of rhythmic manner. And I am quite sure it looked ridiculous too, me clomping around out there like I was trying to get some mud off my 50 lb. shoes…silly!  But a run is a run. I broke a sweat and made it around in about 45 mins with minimal walking and pretending-to-fix-my-laces breaks.

After that mess was over I went home and prepared for my next athletic challenge. Which counts. I think. We, self and 2 children, went to the Target–the SuperTarget–to purchase some items–grocery items– for the upcoming weekend. AND, my son had to do a comparitive study on prices from the 30’s and prices today. Oh yeah–it took 2 hours. I used my legs, my arms, and my brain (calculations on some tuff math).  I like to grab the things I need without much thought, but when school is involved…a 10 bar pack of soap cost 5 cents in 1933. How much today? But you go to the isle of soap and guess what? 2 bar packs, 3 bar packs, 4 bar packs, 8 bar packs, 12 bar packs–NO 10 BAR PACKS!!! Then you gotta do the math. And what brands are we talking here? It’s not like there are any that have depression era labeling—we went for the middle. Over and over again.  1 lb. of coffee costs this…can’t find one pound any more…got 11 oz., 13 oz., 24.6 oz., all around the magic 16. From $4 to $12. Again, do the math. We may have been off, but I said it’s not like the teacher is going to come to the Target and check all our calculations!  “But what if she did mom?”  They should learn now, not EVERYTHING can be EXACTLY right all the time. Not enough information given. Do your best and move on. Please move on…

But what is going on this week and weekend?…well we need more healthy foods like fruit and vegetables…they don’t last and they cost too much. It’s really just cheaper to be fat and unhealthy…anymoo…then on Saturday we are going to a CrawFish Boil and I’m bringing a dip. Taco Dip. Mine is the best. Many imitate, none duplicate. Its my “thing”. So of course everywhere I go it has to go too….not EFS to be sure, but those crawfish are just little seafoods boiled in water. Not bad really. What’s going to get me is the gi-normous cheeseburger I will be eating because there is no way in hell I am eating that. We have a beautiful blue one in our fishtank. Creepy to look at. Creepier to chew. Pets! Not Pots!

But it doesn’t matter anyway, because after all that “exercise” I forgot to buy the damn burgers. I also forgot to get beer, water, and soda for the party WE are having Sunday. It’s the boyfriends birthday and we have the family and friends over. More dips and chips and CAKE!!. So basically, I have to make a whole other trip in the morn to get what I should have got in the first place. I’m just going to Jewel though. Close and fast. Have to get home and exercise!

So that’s the whole story. This is where I would usually sum up with a perfectly placed playlist, wrapping the sordid tale into a neat package and putting a name on it. But I’m expanding now, so I’ll give you the idea, and you have to look at the next post. Keeps it easier in the whole;  filter out the junk just to see the music;  You’ll thank me later when you don’t have to look at all this just to get to this:

Was going to do a “You made it! Congrats! ” list. Or a “Dropped things, feeling lighter” you know, that type. BUT then, my children gave me the inspiration I needed to really bring something good to the party tale…non-stop arguing over who gets to sit in the front seat. Back and forth. It’s my turn. No mine. You went last. No you did. I get two turns then next time. No, one. Two. One. Two. One. Two. One.   AAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

I told them at the store when I let them out of the trunk that they were directly responsible for today’s list. The knock-down-drag-out-can’t-we-all-just-get-along “FIGHT” List. Enjoy! (Remember–its the next post–or if you are reading this at a normal time, and in the order they get placed–it was the post before this because this is first…and that was newest…well whatever—I’ll work on that—post the list first, THEN the preview–ha-smarter every second! At any rate you probably already know what the list is, but now you have the story behind it and it will be that much better.)

fyi–the kids weren’t really in the trunk–that was creative license—don’t call the authorities—thank you.

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Monday! Music for Smashing Fat!

March 23, 2009 at 3:45 pm (EFS) (, , , , , )

We made it! The whole weekend! Did NOT eat anything from a fast food place, a restaurant, a roadside stand, a cart at the park—nothing! Day 6 dawns rainy and chill but we feel good. Hungry yes, but not AS hungry. It’s weird. Pounds have been dropped. Won’t have an official count until Day 8–start of cycle 2–second week of the smash. But it’s already exciting because bread is involved and peanut butter and bananas!! 2 more days of the leany lean and then it’s like a party of food. So me and boyfriend are talking about all the stuff we COULD have, like pizza, burgers, ice cream, bacon, pancakes—cause that’s what you do…when I first started BFL a year ago, I would hoard food magazines like Bon Appetit and Fine Cooking and Food and Wine, and I became obsessed with cooking shows (Guy Fieri and Tyler’s Ultimate; Bobby Flay and Alton Brown–the food gods sent from olympus) and I would just read or watch and dream whenever I was hungry. Which was always. It was like food porn. And I thought, man, a good music list could come from this. We can’t eat any of that stuff. Glamour Eggs are like, egg whites with mushrooms. Bleah…I just shove a hard boiled egg into my mouth, try not to choke, and move on. Takes like 30 seconds. More time for exercise. The OTHER healthy component….circling back around to the list….we can’t have the bad because that food goes right to the fat already stored in the body. Just attracts right to it like a lumpy fat magnet. And that’s the list. Took the long way to get there, but here we are, the Hanging Out In The AdiposeList:

1. Fat Bottomed Girl / Queen

2. Fat As A Fiddle / Chris Difford

3. Fat / Weird Al Yankovic

4. Big Fat Woman / Mudcat

5. Big Belly Mamma / Albert Smith

6. Big Girl, Skinny Girl / CX Kidtronik feat. Rockola

7. Big Girl (You Are Beautiful) / Mika

8. Big Bad John / Jimmy Dean

9. He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother / The Hollies

10. Heavy On My Mind / Back Door Slam

11. Thick-Necked Man / Crash Test Dummies

12. Thicka Than A Snicka / Meech

13. Overweight / Blue October

14. The Weight / The Band

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Easy like Sunday mooorrrnnning…..

March 22, 2009 at 10:16 am (EFS) (, , , , , , )

Fans of the SpongeBob unite! Don’t care what you think….the square is funny!   Made it thru Saturday. Did not exercise, but, was gone all day doing stuff with boyfriend. Things like home-fix-it-project purchases, oil changes, groceries, library activities, getting gas (for the car), bird seed replacement, garage cleaning, going to the bank….that’s right. It is exciting out here in the Midwest. Nice day. Nice night. I stayed home while boyfriend went out with friends to cheer up other friend after sad personal loss. (Our thoughts and prayers go out to him and his family).

Did some laundry and dishes (well, not really dishes; 2 plates that had 1 very lean hamburger patty and some brown rice on them–we licked them clean and I just put them back in the cabinet). Done.   So, then my night is free to think of today’s playlist. Have to work out, twice, but can’t. So will have to combine workouts.  An hour, plus. Hmmm….Sunday….days of the week music? Don’t know if I can find enough–we’ll see. That’s my first idea.

Second idea: I am going to my sissy’s (she’s a boo-tishin’) (hair do-er…ya’ know…) and I need the whole job done on my head. I have sort of darker blonde hair with strands of grey, so color is required. The winter is brutal. Cold so harsh it makes your hair turn white! In order to get the “California Blonde Look” we all decided looks the best, apparently, on me, (says the mom, the kids, the boyfriend, people I used to work with…) it means one layer after another of beautiful fake sunshine. A highlight here and there. A cut, a blow, and a style I will never be able to repeat, and I’m done. Slap on some fresh make-up and present the new and improved  head for examination.  So, point is, I’m thinking…hair…blonde…brunette…California style…and so on.

I’m going to hold a Sunday Song  list for a lazy moment and instead bring you the “Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific” List:

1. Hair / Treat Williams & Cast (Movie Soundtrack)

2. Sister Golden Hair / America

3. San Francisco (Be Sure To Wear Flowers In Your Hair) / Scott McKenzie

4. Suicide Blonde / INXS

5. The Boys Of Summer / Don Henley

6. Delta Dawn / Helen Reddy

7. Wonderful Tonight / Eric Clapton

8. Are You Gonna Be My Girl / Jet

9. Jolene / Dolly Parton

10. She Talks To Angels / The Black Crowes

11. Bette Davis Eyes / Kim Carnes

12. Stupid Girls / Pink

13. California Girls / David Lee Roth

14. Witchy Woman / The Eagles

15. Sister Honey / Stevie Nicks

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And now for a little weekend music…

March 21, 2009 at 6:24 am (EFS) (, , , , , , )

I know, how predictable. It’s Saturday. Day 4 of our Extreme Fat Smashing experience. Don’t have to exercise. You CAN, but you don’t HAVE to.  Still have to follow the food regimen though. If we can make it thru this weekend without a McDonalds Meltdown or a giant Pizza Pig Party, we should be home free. I was gonna go with the time/pointless endeavor music list out of sheer laziness, but then I heard some Loverboy music on the radio and voila’…it’s a rockin’  Saturday night! Or day. Whatever. The EFS makes me tired. And if you can’t eat and you can’t enjoy the other thing you can do on Saturday night with no kids home because you have a certain female condition wrecking all the fun….you just go to bed. Save your energy for Sunday when you get to eat another crumb and go run for half the day. So with total predictability, dance it quick and hit the sack, here is the “Saturday Weekend Party” list:

1. Working For The Weekend / Loverboy

2. Party Like A Rockstar / Shop Boyz

3. Saturday Night / Ta-Gana

4. Get The Party Started / Pink

5. Come Dancing / The Kinks

6. Saturday Night / Bay City Rollers

7. Party Doll / Buddy Knox with The Rhythm Orchids

8. Saturday Night Special / Lynyrd Skynyrd

9. Garden Party / Ricky Nelson

10. Saturday Night’s Alright (For Fighting) / Kid Rock & Nickelback or Elton if you’re more into that.

11. Dead Man’s Party / Oingo Boingo

12. Dancing With Myself / Billy Idol

13. Rock And Roll All Nite / Kiss

14. Little Red Corvette / Prince

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EFS Day #3 Start Running and Don’t Stop (the music…)(list). HaHa.

March 20, 2009 at 5:19 pm (EFS) (, , , , , )

For at least an hour! Starving and running…it’s a bad movie line, and yet I did it. Listening to my long playlist for when I have to be occupied for some time. Which made me think…time. Today can be all about time. Long, unending, stretches of time, running in place, staring at the back of some guys head while he’s talking on the phone and riding the exercycle machine.  Time? Pointless endeavors? (Word of the Day #1!) Good ideas for a new list. Then I remembered it’s spring! Just turned this morning—lots of songs about spring right? Time and pointlessness can wait 2 more days.  Spring forward and enjoy the “Balmy Days Ahead” list:

1. I Can See Clearly Now / Jimmy Cliff

2. Blue Sky / The Allman Brothers Band

3. Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head / B J Thomas

4. Good Morning Starshine / Beverly D’Angelo (Hair Soundtrack)

5. Flower / Moby

6. Fresh Feeling / Eels

7. Rain King / Counting Crows

8. Flowers / Cross Canadian Ragweed

9. You Are My Sunshine / Stine J

10. Brown Eyed Girl / Everclear

11. Feels Like Rain / Buddy Guy

12. The Flesh Failures (Let The Sunshine In) / Various Cast Artists (Hair Soundtrack)

13. Beautiful Night / Burden Brothers

14. No Surrender / Bruce Springsteen

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Extreme Fat Smashers Day #2: The Hungry Music List

March 19, 2009 at 4:56 pm (EFS) (, , , , , , )

Seriously. Hungry. Not as bad as I thought but still. I missed my snack last night so I could go to bed earlier so I could get up earlier and do my FIRST workout of the day before I did anything else. Double workouts are fun! So here is a list of music I can listen to later, (and you can too!), while I’m running for my SECOND workout and thinking about all the food I can never eat! Mix it up like a chocolate shake–yum yum, I serve you the “Bon Appetit” List:

1. Hungry Like The Wolf / Duran Duran

2. Cherry Pie / Warrant

3. Bread and Butter / Devo

4. French Fried Potatoes And Ketchup / Amos Milburn

5. Mashed Potato Time / Dee Dee Sharp

6. My Boy Lollipop / Millie Small

7. You’re My Dish / Fats Waller

8. Fishin’ Blues / Taj Mahal

9. Hungry Heart / Bruce Springsteen

10. Candy / Love Arcade

11. Peel Me A Grape / Ramsey Lewis & Nancy Wilson

12. Cherry Bomb / Joan Jett & The Blackhearts

13. Strawberry Wine / Pat Benatar

14. Coconut / Harry Nilsson

15. Hunger Strike / Temple Of The Dog

16. Peppermint Twist / Joey Dee & The Starliters

17. Chocolate Cake / Crowded House

18. Chicken Fried / Zac Brown Band

19. Gimme A Pigfoot / Bessie Smith

20. Chop Suey / System Of A Down

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New Extreme Fat Smashers! Look here for a new music list!

March 18, 2009 at 4:09 pm (EFS) (, , , , , )

And by new, I mean today. It’s our first day (me and boyfriend) on Extreme Fat Smash, the diet by Ian K. Smith.  We normally live by BFL rules, (Body-For-Life) but we seem to have stalled out a bit. EFS is a 3-week jumpstart and it’s streamlined for carefully regimented food and ALOT of exercise. Thus, the new list—which is actually the old list.  As promised, Friday the 13th music on Wednesday the 18th. This is what I used to run 3.6 miles today. Did it outside as opposed to the gym. We live in Chicago and it’s nice weather RIGHT NOW. Who knows for tomorrow.  No records are being broken here. Just a nice steady pace. I like to set the list on shuffle. So in no particular order, the “Friday the 18th” List:

1. All We Are / Warlock

2. These Streets / Paolo Nutini

3. Walk Over Me / Dirtie Blonde

4. Super Soaked / Be Your Own Pet

5. My Same / Adele

6. Paper Planes / M.I.A.

7. Poor Nostalgic Me / Long Distance Call

8. I Want You To Know / Riddlin’ Kids

9. That Kind Of Day / Sarah Buxton

10. Man Of Constant Sorrow / Osaka Popstar & The American Legions Of Punk

11. Never Had Nobody Like You (Feat. Zooey Deschanel) / M. Ward

12. Everytime (Feat. Del the Funky Homosapien & Adrian Hartley) / Mike Relm

13. Take Off Your Sunglasses / Ezra Furman & The Harpoons

14. Desolation Row (From “Watchmen”) / My Chemical Romance

15. Head On / Pixies

16. People Who Died / The Jim Carroll Band

17. Goodbye / Save Ferris

18. Elias / Dispatch

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