just shy of pretty

We interrupt this program for another appearance by Mother Nature

August 10, 2010 at 12:42 pm (Day to Day, Exercise, Home Improvement, P90X, School News, Tree Trouble) (Chainsaw, Crazy, Exercise, Guilty, Large tree falling, Limbs, Money, Motorcycle, Nervous, Nursing, P90X, Range, Riding, School, Sticks, Storms, Stress, Therapy, Time, Toilet, Trees, Whining)

That Bitch!!

When I left a few days ago, happy, P90X’d on day 30, I was recovering from Core Synergistics. I am actually still sore but who has time to think about it when the natural world gives you so much more to do! Let me explain.

I have trees. Big trees. They keep falling down. Not the whole tree, just parts of the tree. Limbs crack and break and then lay across the yard or the fence or the neighbors garage or her house…it keeps happening. Every single time it storms I worry. Every single time a tree part falls on my neighbors house it is the calmest, clearest, least windy day EVER! Every. Single. Time. I leave, the tree is fine. I come home, BOOM, it’s laying on something. Then I have to get tools (now the BF and I have to get tools) and we cut it up and drag it to the nice wood/limb/branch pile I have going in my backyard. I’ve posted pictures of it. I’ll post again in case you don’t believe me. It’s ridiculous now because every time I get it mostly cleaned up, nice and neatly stacked for continued ease of  disposal, more falls and the pile grows. It’s a joke to the neighbors now.

The far left side and the far right side wood piled up is the old stuff. Everything in the middle is from yesterday.It doesn't look like alot I guess in this pic, but trust, its all tangled and gnarly and high.

This time I really got a surprise. MN (Mother Nature) decided to shake things up by NOT felling the tree limb I was actually worried about but a completely different one that I never even considered! Tricky! I should have known. I took pics of this tree. Foam was coming out of the bottom. I do not know what that means in tree life, but it’s probably not good.  Got pics of that too.

So anyway, this real dangerous, heavy, stretched out limb just hangs over my neighbors house looking menacing every day and extra scary in storms. The birds don’t care. The squirrels don’t care. They just keep adding weight to it, running up and down, just doing their thing. I panic thinking it will fall. It’s huge. It’s old. It has NO chance in hell of missing her house and landing neatly in between on the driveway. It’s just that kind of tree. But it’s expensive to remove this kind of tree. Thousand dollar or more type money, which I don’t have. So we wait, and hope, and cringe every time the wind blows, but so far so good.

And oh yeah, there is also another limb that goes off it in the other direction, over my house, that looks fine. No worries. We noticed on Saturday when we got back from motorcycle class that it was dangling its leaves on the roof. Brushing ever so slightly like it was caressing the house. We tell ourselves, well we’ll have to get up there and trim those back. Not me…the BF…he’s much better at that sort of thing…plus it could start interfering with the satellite dish! Oh my! Can’t mess up the TV! He’s off on Monday (yesterday) so we can do it then.

So Saturday is class—sitting, talking, learning, then leaving. Expect to arrive early on Sunday and be prepared to ride the whole time! Ok. After class we take the kids clothes shopping for school, have a nice dinner and chill in the evening. Everyone’s happy! No P90, no other exercise except the brain stuff earlier.

Sunday 7 am. Off to class. Riding riding riding. It’s fun. It’s stressful. I feel worked out. 5 hours on a machine I have never set foot across in my life. And I get to control it and ride it and shift it and stop it…it’s too much fun! Not for everyone though. We did lose some people on the riding portion. 3 out of 12 had to go. As deemed by the instructors. Dropping the bike more than once or stalling it over and over in traffic, or actually flipping off of it, it did happen, right next to me, is pretty much instant exit. So needless to say, I was burning some stress calories and actual cals pushing that bike around. But I survived it and actually had a pretty good time. I am by no means ready for the road. I could drive it fine and turn it and stop it and all that, but I had some trouble with the quick, up and down shift (I think my boots were too fat and I couldn’t get my toe under the gear lever smoothly every time) and apparently I go WAY too slow for the other people! I’ll admit I was putt-putting it, but I shouldn’t be the leader. I need to follow someone else to gain speed! It’s not my fault!

After we got home, the kids are going to hang with their dad and he shows up to get them and notices that lovely, dangling, brushing, tree branch is now sitting on the damn roof solid. Crap. Seriously?? It must have cracked at a seam overnight (no storms, no wind) and laid itself gently to rest on the roof. Nice. So what is the afternoon like now? Up on the roof, the BF, not me, cutting branches and getting the limb up and off, then call someone to remove the rest because it is heavy and big and probably too much for us. Accomplished. The BF managed to use a handsaw to remove enough of the branches that it is up about 6 inches and if it continues to lean it will just rest back on the roof and not cause any major damage. It did crinkle the nice furnace exhaust pipe thing that our friend Jeff put up last fall but thank fully that was easily straightened.

If you look close you can see the crack. The left side is the main trunk to the ground, go across the limb to the dead knob and it's right underneath like a gash in the side. Just enough to bring it down. But not too much that it crashes on to the roof.

Here’s another question. Why, after all these years, have I never purchased a chain saw? I have needed one almost every spring and summer since I moved into this house. That money spent would have proven itself worthy over and over again. Well, we own one now. A big, nasty, loud, long-bladed monster tree cutter. A few inches short of the commercial kind. I’m not spending 500 dollars on one, but I can handle 200. After removing enough and watching it basically lean right back on over to the roof and then calling some tree services and getting a quote for 1000 dollars (WTF?? Seriously?? We already took half that shit off and it’s practically stand-up accessible) Then for another $1300, he’ll take off that other limb that is super-giant, super-heavy, and hanging so far over the neighbors house that it could be considered a whole tree all by itself. Really? Only 300 extra dollars to take off the giant limb as opposed to the half cut one? I was nice and didn’t say anything. What a rip. They have a bucket! I guess that’s what we pay for. Either that or he just didn’t want to do it so he throws out a ridiculous number hoping we would laugh and tell him to move along.

So I get the idea that since it’s obviously just going to lean back on the roof, we can go get a chainsaw and hack that sucker off ourselves. We can get it on the roof and just hope we can cut it back enough it will swing and miss the house when it goes all down. Ha! Lofty goals on Sunday night! Monday morning. Different story when my shaky ass is standing on the roof, on that treacherous angle, trying to hold limbs and not fall to my death on chainsaw chips and debris. I REALLY underestimated my ability to stand on a roof with confidence and move around. I was constantly afraid of falling off, therefore I was afraid to move too much and therefore not much help in the removal process. The longer I was up there I felt a little better, but those slippery chips were too much for me. Bright ideas look 100 times better from the ground looking up.

I have to give every kind of respect for people that can work on a roof with no problem. That is an awesome balance thing and confidence and surefootedness that I do not have! Your job is tough and scary and I can see why people pay you the money to do it.

Once the BF and I realized there was no way we could do it ourselves, because of my chicken-shitness and his lack of reach over the house and up to the limb, we decided to use the trim, wait, let the tree limb lay back on the house, trim, wait, lay, etc…method of removal. It might take awhile but the lower the limb comes down, the easier it is to remove. The person we finally got to take a look and remove it for us said that method is not going to work and is not really smart. He’s a 20 year tree guy and he has removed stuff for us before. He’s back in the biz after hurting himself some years ago, and ready to take on some small jobs! Ha! Small jobs! That’s what he considers it. I don’t care because he’s cutting us a really good deal and he knows what he’s doing. He hopped onto the roof to look at the tree like he was walking on the flat ground. Jealous!

Anyway, so there it sits now, about three feet off the roof, maybe four. Alot of the weight is off and if it starts lowering, our tree guy said just leave it. Don’t be fussing with it anymore. But, again, I have a giant pile of branches and limbs and leaves and sticks and junk in my yard. So this week is cutting and stacking neatly to make room for all the rest that is about to come. This might be the most yet! Seriously. I just thought about it this minute. We are going to have basically a tree’s worth of trunk and limbs in the yard. I really got to wrap this up and get outside. Those lazy kids of mine are still sleeping and I’m wasting hours typing and we have some work to do. I’m going to need some bribery options to really light a fire under their asses. I’d like to get all of what we presently have cut up today if possible. That’s prob going to save us alot of time and pain down the road. Especially if it starts storming like its supposed to.

Ugh! I may skip P90X again today. I was going to sneak it in (I have missed 3 days already!!) and I’m feeling nervous and agitated, but this might have to take precedence. Ugh! Kenpo too. It’s fun. I don’t HAVE to do it. It’s my choice. It’s voluntary but I feel guilty. I don’t even know why! It’s ridiculous the things that go thru my head. I’ll try to do it later. I swear. It’s not like I’m going to turn into a lump of fat in 4 days. But still…I also have the stress of this cycle class, the test is next weekend. I have to read the book. I have my real school starting the next week and I have to read that material. I have no money. All my savings money is going to stop a tree from poking through my roof. I have laundry and house stuff, and frankly I’m feeling a bit queasy right now thinking about it all. I let myself stress way too much about things I can’t even control. AND things that aren’t even going to happen for 2 weeks! (I’m thinking school. I’m trying to tell myself I need to make it fun like I did when I first started. I love it. I’m afraid of failure. But I love it. Nursing is the best job in the world and I just have to get through. I think I need some BF support tonight. Help!! Thanks honey!! I love you. Sorry for being a baby. Love you!) I feel like an old lady shaking her fist to the sky cursing the powers that be. Ugh!

Enough of the whining. Stop thinking. Start doing. Alright. The tree limb is still high and mighty for now. The crack is still cracky but not split all the way through. I will get dressed, cut limbs, exercise, figure out the money situation for the week and do laundry until it doesn’t matter. I will read and absorb and take it one little day at a time. Hour here. Hour there.

If you are still reading this, WOW!, and thank you. It’s like listening in to someone’s therapy. I hope to never look at it again! The internet is a great big toilet bowl of random crazy and I just laid a big old load down! Feels better! And you helped wipe! Alright, eeww, that’s probably enough there.

We need a picture of calm. A picture of soothing. I don’t know what I have, butt, I’ll find something.

Oh man. The hilarity never stops around here. I think it’s bad when you have to add a whole new category to your site, dedicated to tree trouble because it just keeps happening. Ugh! The picture below is much better. I found it trolling for something to illustrate all this text.

Just breath and relax: