HAPPY FRIDAY!! Oh. Wait.
Well globally it’s Friday somewhere right?
It’s amazing how hard puberty hits and also how annoying it can be at times. But with my magical, greenish-yellow elixir, of all that is calm and serene, two teenagers doing everything in their power to drive me crazy seems all so wonderfully “after-school special”.
I just thought I’d take a minute to acknowledge a fellow blogging site who took time out of their postings to “like” me! This is what I get sent to me:
Howdy,
imonthebandwagon recently read your post, titled NEW FEATURE!!!, and enjoyed it enough to click the ‘Like’ button. Congratulations.
Here is the post they liked:
http://masnstevy.com/2011/09/19/new-feature/?sn=l
and here is their info:
Name: imonthebandwagon
We think they’re from: London, England, United Kingdom
(Click on their name to check them out!)
You might want to see what they’re up to – perhaps you will like their posts as much as they liked yours.
(I did look them up and you might like them too!)
Thanks guys or gals, I appreciate the feedback! Good luck with the number 1 thing!! Cheers!
JSOP
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
TO ME!!
It’s probably kind of weird that my first post, after quite a while, is about me, but, hey, it is MY site!
So anyway, that picture is of a drink that I am NOT having right now, but doesn’t it look tasty? It’s my own recipe. I call it “Quick Margarita”.
Just put ice in a cup, pour in the tequila, the sweet/sour mix, triple sec (if you have it, it’s nice but not necessary), stir it up with your fingers, and sprinkle salt on top of the ice. I just use regular old salt from the shaker. As you can see I got a little fancy with the salt around the edge. This is also very easy. Before you put the ice and alcohol in the cup just swish some water on the rim and salt like you would a sweet corn cob, then follow the directions as given above. That’s it. If you absolutely MUST shake it, follow my recipe, pour the whole thing into a shaker, shake it, and pour it back in the glass. At least now you will have liquor residue on the rim and the salt can stick to that!
Time required to create this masterpiece: As fast as you can pour stuff in a cup without spilling.
After a few of these quick drinks, you will find that it becomes even easier as you start skimping on the slower aspects of the recipe. Salt? Eh…we can skip that. Triple sec? I mean, come on the sweet/sour is prob good enough. Sweet/sour? The glass? Tequila drinks just as well from the bottle as it does from a cup.
So anyway, that’s it for now. It’s my birthday. I am 42. I became an RN just a few weeks ago. It has been my adult goal for the last 5 years. I am happy. No job yet, but I am waiting. Apps are out and I still have 15 days on the master plan. Panic will ensue then.
It’s supposed to be hot again here in Chicago. A blazing 90-95 that will feel like 100-105 thanks to our nasty humidity. Stay cool as you can and have a drink for me/with me/because of me! It’s our day! Have a great one!
One last thing. I’d like to dedicate this little bit of silliness to my cousin Lorraine. She’s an avid follower of my goofy site here and she’s basically, just all-around, awesome! She’s definitely what people call “a cool chick”. This is for you! You rock!
Luckily there are some good things about getting older
For instance, I can buy alcohol any time I want. Any kind. On any day. At any time. And I barely get a glance. Obviously after I get a bit older, I may draw some attention just because they will be wondering what the hell an old lady is doing buying Jack Daniel’s. On a Wednesday afternoon. MmmHmm. Alcoholic. Probably has no kids and a bunch of cats. Or stuffed animals that she thinks are cats. I will try to keep my hair combed at all times and wear clothes that match.
Anyway, the point is, that as I get older I realize that there are things I actually like. A lot. Like, things that I have liked and will probably like for the rest of my life. Things that are comforting. Things that are just for me. Examples may be needed.
Like coffee. I truly enjoy coffee. I just drink it black. I never liked cream or sugar and I am not real partial to flavors. I get the occasional Mocha from Starbucks now and then, but that’s pretty rare these days. I just like hot, black coffee. I drink it every day and I don’t even really think about it.
Another thing, that I just realized, and the reason for this little posting, is that I like Jack Daniel’s Whiskey. That may seem kind of strange, but when I first started drinking it many years ago, AFTER I turned Twenty-One, I was only drinking it because other people did. Old boyfriends, at parties, you know the way we all do it. Then after so many years I didn’t drink it at all. Ever. Then for some reason I tried it again. And I am telling you, it’s just delicious. It has the flavor I like and it’s not too sweet. Just plain old black label Jack Daniel’s. Nothing fancy. I dare say, whispering, I prefer it over vodka. And I can drink it straight, right out of a glass, neat, as they say. (Without ice.) That’s really not something I am bragging about, mind you. It’s not like I am sitting here all day sipping on whiskey and wasting time. Or doing another thing that I realize I like as I get older….
Watching old, black and white movies. I LOVE them lately. I had started watching them in the grip of nursing school. You can put them on and let them play. Now that I am done with that intensity, I still find that I like them just as much. Not all the old movies are black and white. I find I seek out anything made in the 50′s or earlier. It can be any genre. I don’t care. I prefer the smarter ones. With more dialogue. Actually they are all pretty smart, it’s mostly words. Not a lot of special effects in these movies. Some of the cable stations play them all day. If you want to try my new found, I’m-an-old-lady daily regimen, get yourself some Jack and pop in Casablanca to start. Or you can just jump right in, searching thru the cable guide for something that may become your new favorite.
Crap, I think I may be going thru a mid-random-age crisis. No milestone birthday coming up, no medical emergency, no life-changing event. Well maybe, I did just spend the last five years of my life changing my entire future. So it makes me think about what I could have done with all those other years. And my kids have so many years ahead of them. I want to stay around as long as I can. Ho Hum. Anyway, this is getting way off track of my study time. I do still have questions to answer for today. And I won’t have any kind of future if I don’t get my license. It’s getting dark again, so, hopefully you are home from your job now and ready to relax. Have a drink for me and enjoy the night. And if you are still out there, I will be too, soon. But for tonight, I will have a drink for you. Later.
It’s like Transformers over here
Autobots Unite!
It’s just more construction. It’s like giant, metal, dinosaurs are rumbling up and down the street. All that machinery I can see and hear, just through the trees. Creepy, sort of. And funny because they are making alot of noise but nothing seems to be getting done. I am sure someone went to school for a long time to plan this mess, but it just looks like a bunch of holes and gravel blocking everyone’s driveways. I’ve seen the “finished” work around town. As far as I can tell, they dump rocks, put up a warning horse, then let it sit for about 3 weeks, until all the fill is gone and you are left with a huge, 4 foot wide, crack in the road that could blow out a tire when you run over it. Then one random day, when you are late, a month from now, you will be driving down a constructed street and be stopped by a “Closed” sign while they lay an asphalt strip for 6 hours. The dirt and debris will remain, however, for another 2 weeks after that.
Time to refill my glass. Check next post for explanation.
I want a refund!
One hundred degrees of blistering sunshine and heat stroke have been replaced by 70 degrees of overcast and drizzle. NOT that I am complaining. Too much.
My air conditioner is OFF. Money saved.
BF is at work. Rode his bike there because it’s so nice and dry today. Hmmm. I guess rain-riding experience is necessary. Still…
My kids are gone. They went to the beach. Again, because it was supposed to be nice and hot. They may or may not be in tornado conditions along the shores of Lake Michigan in Indiana. I don’t know. It’s probably not a good thing when you have to rely on Facebook for the status of your children. BUT, I do trust who they are with and it is just threat of rain right now. Apparently the super heat wave that rolled in down from the north last night and caused us all that trouble, swooped up all the hotness and carried it away to the east somewhere. Cause it sure ain’t here.
I, on the other hand, had many plans for this day of hot and alone. I did get up early. Check. I did shower, shave, hygiene, blah blah blah. Check. I did pay one bill. Check. I did do one load of laundry. Check. And this is where the happy story ends. I am at an impasse. I need to study, but I want to drink. I need to balance the checking account, but I want to drink. I need to finish the laundry, but…you get the idea. Just a little. Not drunk. Just for…fun? Because it is July 1, it’s Friday, and I have, truly, nothing to do today? I don’t need to drive anywhere. I wouldn’t anyway. And it’s not even hot! And that makes it all the better! Now I won’t get overly sweaty or tipsy too fast! Plus, I can still do that other stuff while drinking.
Then it’s settled. I am inviting my friend Jack over and we are going to BS thru the afternoon. Thank you sounding board/inner conscious/internet. However, I better get on that check book thing first. Numbers tend to go all loopy after a few hours of the sippy juice. Later.
Looks like Vegas may not be where I wake up tomorrow
Not for $2000 per person. Just for the airplane. How can that even be the right price?!?
Anyway…In my vodka haze I must have misread the channel guide. 2½ Men was done at 7 pm. But hey! Role Models! And I’m recording Turistas. I think I remember hearing that it was scary, so that should be good in a few hours after more of the vodka soaks in.
For now, here’s a picture of my Pocket Poker game. I have been playing it non-stop throughout my school year but never with the big wins like I had last summer. Well guess what?
That’s right. I hit the Royal Flush. Again. It’s not quite as satisfying since I was at, like, ZERO points, but I still got 5000 for it! Now I’m trying to hit it again to beat my all time high score. What? Did you say you needed a picture to remind you of what that was? Great! I have one!
That’s 7130. Seems like it wouldn’t be that hard right? But it is. And so addicting to someone like me with OCD tendencies. It’s prob good we aren’t going to Vegas after all. Having credit cards with no balance and a high limit is just too easy. But, oh man, the sun, the pool, the casino’s…I love playing poker all night and laying by the pool all day. With drinks. In that hot, desert sun and those cool air conditioned hotels. Torture. I need to stop. The drinks are totally kicking in and I would pay any amount and hop on a plane right now, with those awesome airline mini-alcohol bottles, flight in the night, with the lights of Las Vegas shining in the distance as we approach McCarran International ….man I could be in Vegas in 5 hours! License first. Vacation later.
Have a great night wherever you are!
Now why does this seem so familiar?
Another long weekend is upon us. Memorial Day! (Take a vodka soaked minute to honor and think about all our soldiers please, past and present, and currently serving to protect our right to drink too much and act stupid all weekend. Thank you.)
Anyway…long weekend, kids are gone (camping with their dad), no school, nothing to study, it’s getting dark, kind of cool outside, the BF is trying to find us a cheap flight to Vegas, we’re watching 2½ Men on TV, drinking martini’s and playing my favorite game–we drink when Charlie drinks–, and I’m posting about it!
It’s like the best kind of déjà vu! Here’s the difference:
Swords! For the olives. They add a fun touch and they were the only kind of sticks available at the store. Rainbow colored!
Also, we are watching 2½ Men on TV, but….
We do own the last season on DVD. We watched it already though. Three discs. Three straight nights in a row. I probably shouldn’t let the kids watch it, but most of the jokes go right over the heads and my son looks just like Jake…really, and they think it’s pretty funny for what they do get. So I have a soft spot for the show. But I don’t want to get off the subject or start over thinking about my kids because then I’ll miss them and that really kills the buzz. But anyway, luckily, FX Network is playing the show tonight until 8 pm, so I can be pretty blotto-ed by then! (They’re also running a marathon on Monday, but sitting around all day watching that would be lame right…?)
Alright, well it seems that my glass is empty and this episode is almost over so I gotta go make another one and get ready for the next hour. Later.
Overdose!
Seriously. Analgesics and opioids. I feel like I am sedated right now. Of course I am on my third vodka martini. I call it a martini but it’s just vodka swished around in some ice and poured into a glass. Euphoria.
Saturday night. Kids are gone. I am waiting for my BF to get back from a night with the boys. A short night. We have the house and we need to catch up on some medical procedures.
While I am typing this I am watching the movie, “The Notorious Bettie Page”. Pretty interesting. I hardly even notice that it’s in black and white. I think it keeps changing into color and then back again. Marvin thinks its abnormal. It’s just costumes, she says. I think it’s ok. She was cutting edge…
Good vodka.
The movie is talking about taking a vacation. Florida of all places! I am there. There is nothing like having drinks on the beach near the ocean!
Here’s a pic. Let’s all pretend together.
Persecution fear complex! Nice word combination. If you know what I’m talking about…make a comment.
Bondage and sexual deviation. I better stop. The 50′s were quite scandalous. Murder and psychosis…reminds me of the wax museum. Pure evil.
When last you heard from me, I was on my way to school…
…with high hopes for the rest of the evening. When suddenly…Tequila! (And that was TWO days ago.)
I did go to school. I got the “pre-heads-up” to the actual “heads-up” classes I have next week. Signed some paperwork. Got some questions answered. Payed for classes. Bought more books. Drove home excited as hell, but unaware of the complicated nature of what I am about to embark upon.
I have three books and a syllabus right now, and I have three more books to buy. Definitely the most I have needed so far. When I trained for EMT I was on an adrenaline rush for hours after every single class, for like 4-6 months. It was crazy. And I have that same crazy feeling just looking at these books. Two years and god knows how many hours are about to go into this program, but I am ready. I’m not sure my body can take the intensity. I had trouble sleeping before, but I guess that will just help me on the job! I talked so much on the phone to the BF just driving home from a pre-class class, that I, “low-battery-powered-off”, the cell phone. The damn thing drained out good. First time I talked to the cut-off. Even after I plugged it back in it wouldn’t turn on for a little while.
So I take a closer look at this new book. Calculating With Confidence. Drug calculations, measurements, math conversions…OMG, it looks hard. Drug labels, syringes, pills, liquids, fractions, decimals, cc. mL. mg. oz. You need: Aspirin gr 10 p.o. q4h p.r.n. for pain. You have: Drug label, that suddenly makes no sense whatsoever. And tell me how much, with how much diluent, time of day, route of administration, but don’t forget who you are giving it to, how much they weigh, what else they are taking; now mark it on the drawing, and don’t “F” it up because you could kill someone…. I’m paraphrasing…but that’s the idea. Once you take off the plastic shrink wrap, the front cover has a skull and crossbones on it. They don’t want you to see that until it’s too late. And you thought that the nurse handing you two Tylenol in the hospital after dinner didn’t require any skill. HA!
The amazing thing is, that in 2 months, that book is going to make perfect sense, and I’ll be calculating in my sleep (not literally), but for now…we better go to Pepe’s and think about the future.
So the guy that has been working there since he was a child, really, (I know, because we as a family, collectively have been going there for his whole life basically, I even remember a time when he was out in the parking lot trying to drive off in his older brothers car…he got in trouble for that…) anypepestoryway…this kid/adult now (Ricky? The name would not come to me, don’t judge, I’m approaching 40, but Mason and Stevie both agree, yes, on the name) made me a killer, and I mean KILLER margarita. I took 4 drinks and I was feeling the heat. By one third gone, I was TWO thirds gone. I wish I could say I was joking, because I was getting “altered” and fast. (My teeth were numb and I tried to walk out of the clear glass panel NEXT to the door, when I left the restaurant) I ate some chips and salsa and some shrimp cocktail on crackers and a tamale and a chili rellano but food was failing me fast, so I concentrated on finishing the medium margarita that, based on my morning calculations of how-long-it-takes-my-body-to-filter-out-the-alcohol (years of research have perfected this system) there must have been at least, 5 shots of tequila in my drink. I can say that with confidence because I was still slightly drunk at 7:30 in the morning. And I even tried to move the alcohol along with activity and oxygen before I fell into dreamy-drunky sleep the night before but sometimes you can’t keep a good buzz down, or up, or whatever. End of story.
I dragged myself up, took out the garbage, diluted my remaining blood level of tequila with coffee, and watched Regis & Kelly with Pat Tomasulo subbing for Regis (!!) I wrote it on the calendar! Busy schedule, yeah yeah, I’ll be working soon enough and you’ll miss these long, rambling posts. (More Pat Stuff)
The Pat Down. For your enjoyment. And since this is Chicago, we have 2 newspapers…here’s the Trib version. Ok, I think I’m done now.
Then I really pushed the limit with a five mile run. Five point one something something, to be exact. I ran the water bill to the Village Hall, which maps out at 5+ miles. MapMy Run.com. 30 minutes there. 34 minutes back. One hour, four minutes. I will take it. I ran on the sidewalks. Concrete, hard on the shins with lots of hills, (dang Park Forest doesn’t have a completely flat spot 10 steps in a row), and chock full of tripping hazards. Broken cement, uneven, crooked, weeds, rocks…I’m not sure what the village is doing all the time. It seems like they dig holes in random spots all around town just so there’s something for the kids to fall into. At any rate. I was done for the day. Kids got home about 3 ish and we ate ice cream and talked about all they did last week. Stevie made cupcakes! First time on her own and no crunchy ones from egg shells! (So far) So proud. Then dinner and a movie. (Burgers on the grill and Smokey and the Bandit from Netflix) unpack the bags, go to bed and poof! Here we are. Today.
I’m going to skip the run today, maybe go take a walk at the nature trail if I can get the kids out there. Mason has grass to finish and we are open. I have the pictures you have been waiting for…I didn’t forget, it’s just time and energy and getting them off the cell phone. I even have video! The kids wanted to play in the water, but we don’t have a pool. We have a hose. So they filled up larger, plastic, Tupperware bowls and put their faces in them or dumped them over their heads. They would swim in a wet sponge if they could. Then they played water-hose-jump-rope, which is actually pretty funny. So that’s coming too! And all that other stuff I said I had…Remember my theme: Everything is always two days ago!
Cupcakes!
Half with sprinkles, half without! Tasty!
What do these things have in common? Me, Vodka, and Olives.
This drunken post should be all the answer you need.
It’s Friday. My children are safe, away, with their daddy. Mother Nature has left the building. And I’m as smooth as George Clooney in a roomful of cocktail waitresses at a Vegas Casino. (That’s for Michael K. He’s not a reader, but he’d appreciate the effort)
It’s 6:30 PM Chicago Time and I’m going to hit publish and make Number 2. Wait a minute.
Let me re-type. I’m leaving it though because it’s funny. At least it is when you drink a giant cup of vodka.
Re-phrase: I’m posting, hitting Publish, and making my second Dirty Martini, minus the dirty, the olives and the glass.
And……
